If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on [email protected] for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact [email protected]

Issues with neighbours- constantly on edge

  • 18-07-2022 1:55pm
    Registered Users Posts: 17

    My partner and I rent our house off his mother. We had new neighbours move in around the beginning of the pandemic. To say they’re difficult is an understatement. At the start it was small complaints; our friend laughed outside, kids were playing in the green, etc. Recently though it feels like there’s a complaint every week. Because she knows my partners mom, she never comes to us, she always texts or rings her.

    She just point blank won’t speak to us. The big issue started when we bought a dog. He’s a hound and does have a loud bark when he gets going. The complaints started and they basically said that he would bark from the moment we left the house to the moment we came back.

    We got him a dog trainer to try and fix this issue, as well as others, and still the complaints came in. We started putting him in doggy day care until we just could no longer afford to do so. A couple of weeks ago she rang my landlord and said she’d call the guards if it wasn’t sorted. We bought cameras for the house so we could see exactly what he’s like.

    It was a far cry from what they were saying. He would bark for about 2 minutes when we left and that was it (that barking has now completely stopped) we were food shopping around 2 weeks ago and my partners mom called saying out dog was howling and that our neighbour had tried to call in to speak to me. We found that funNy because she won’t speak to us, in particular me. We checked the cameras and found that he hadn’t barked until she rang the doorbell. The moment she rang the doorbell she called my partners mom. It seemed that she wanted my partners mom to hear him bark. He barked for less than two minutes and that was it.

    Since then it just seems like any noise that happens is automatically our fault. There’s been small things since then but last night, my partners mom got a text at 3.22 from our neighbour giving out that our house alarm was going off and we wouldn’t turn it off. We checked the cameras this morning and it wasn’t even our alarm. This is about the 5th time we’ve caught them in a lie with the cameras.

    I am at the end of rope with them. I’m anxious to be alone in my house, I get nervous every time my partners mom calls. I don’t like having people at my house, because they’ve given out to our friends in the past. I feel like because we’re younger they feel as if we’re scummy. We’ve had no problems with any other neighbours, we get along with everyone. The area was so nice to live in until they moved in. Really I’m just looking for advice. I know we could move but I don’t want to be forced out of our home. Any suggestions?



  • Registered Users Posts: 17 chloe775

    I should clarify that when I say they won’t speak to us, my partners mother will tell her to come speak to us directly. She says she will but she never does. I know we could go to them but unfortunately the relationship has just completely broken down. When we got the cameras and saw just how much they are lying about us, my partner has no interest in any complaint or anything they have to say. And I understand where he is coming from with that

  • Registered Users Posts: 8,114 ✭✭✭Furze99

    Is your partner's mother also renting to troublesome neighbours? If she is, then she probably has to take their calls.

    If not and even if friends with them, she should just politely decline any contact on related matters and insist they deal direct with your partner & you.

    Up to your partner really to sort out how to deal with this with mother.

  • Registered Users Posts: 17 chloe775

    Yeah I’ve discussed the possibility of going to the guards but was unsure if it would be classed as harassment. I know you’re right, in any other situation this would be over by now as I’m not exactly quiet. But I’m reluctant as I don’t want it to be made out that we’re disrespectful, and potentially cause trouble with our other neighbours. She is in her early 60s and definitely seems like the type of person who would play on the fact that we’re early 20s picking on her

  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 6,197 ✭✭✭SteM

    Outline every lie to your partner's mother. Tell the mother to send a message to your neigbor saying that they will have to directly speak to you from now on. If the neighbor contacts her directly again then she should block their number.

    Doesn't matter if your neighbor calls the guards about a dog barking, they won't do a thing about it.

  • Registered Users Posts: 17 chloe775

    No she’s not renting to them. They bought the house next door. Yes, I can’t lie she’s a big part of the problem here. She’ll tell them to come speak to us but the next time they ring, she’ll answer.

  • Registered Users Posts: 791 ✭✭✭CreadanLady

    People like this are common enough. There is something wrong with them mentally usually. Or they are bored attention seekers with nothing better to do.

    The MFV Creadan Lady is a mussel dredger from Dunmore East.

  • Registered Users Posts: 17 chloe775

    They know about the cameras as my partners mother told them after the doorbell incident. I’m not sure if they necessarily believe it as it hasn’t made a bit of difference. We’ve told her and showed her some of the videos and yet she’ll still answer the phone when she calls, she’s definitely a part of the problem.

    Oh my friends all ready know! A couple of months ago, we had some friends over and two of my girlfriends stepped out for a smoke. I went to join them about a minute later and they weren’t even in my garden. They were across the way in the green because one of the men came out to them!

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,055 ✭✭✭pauliebdub

    Tell your partners mom to block them and not be a go between between them and you. She should have better things to be doing. You also need to stand up to the neighbour and tell them that there's always going to be some noise. Also guards won't get involved in difficulties between neighbours, you're not doing anything illegal

  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 17 chloe775

    I feel like she’s bored or bitter with life maybe. I know she bought the house because she got divorced. Definitely seems like a bitter lady

  • Registered Users Posts: 17 chloe775

    Unfortunately I don’t think she will block her. They are friendly with each other outside of this. I don’t care if they’re friends, I just want the complaints to stop. My partners mother has to be entertaining her in some way, otherwise she wouldn’t keep ringing. Yeah, I know we need to stop being so polite because they haven’t shown us the same respect. I’m not worried about the guards, even if they did show up we have plenty of videos to back up our side.

  • Registered Users Posts: 17 chloe775

    Oh I completely agree, dog barking is annoying. I get annoyed by my dog barking. But it feels as though they want us to get rid of him altogether. Seeing as they’ve still complained about him barking in the last 2 weeks when he literally hasn’t barked. We used only turn cameras on when we left but now we keep them on 24/7 to prove he doesn’t bark. I don’t think they’re rowing with us as much as they like complaining. I mean they sleep with the bedroom window wide open (like flung out) all the time, no matter the weather and complain about noise (not just us making noise, just noise in general). We also live in the biggest and busiest housing estate in our town. Makes no sense to me.

    Never play music in the garden, think I might start.

  • Registered Users Posts: 791 ✭✭✭CreadanLady

    Don't worry about the Gardai. If she calls them they will just give her the old "its a civil matter" fob off. The Gardai won't get involved in neighbourly disputes unless things escalate to extreme levels of antisocial behaviour or if there is violence, threats or criminal damage involved. Otherwise, they won't want to know.

    The MFV Creadan Lady is a mussel dredger from Dunmore East.

  • Registered Users Posts: 2,993 ✭✭✭KaneToad

    "Never play music in the garden, think I might start."

    This type of statement doesn't do you any favours.

  • Registered Users Posts: 19,798 ✭✭✭✭Ash.J.Williams

    They haven’t a leg to stand on , f** em

  • Registered Users Posts: 5,003 ✭✭✭Former Former Former

     Your side, their side, the truth. 

    The OP claims to have video evidence of the neighbour lying, so two of these would indeed seem to be mutually exclusive

  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 793 ✭✭✭GavPJ

  • Administrators Posts: 13,021 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips

    What is your partner's mother saying to you? Is she asking you to stop making noise? Is she asking you to get rid of your dog? Is she asking you to check your alarm at 3am? If she's just passing on that neighbour said x, y z, then just reply to that with "Did she? That's strange. Nothing showing up on the camera". Every time.

    Is she ringing you or ringing your partner? Your neighbour is a crank - but is not actually saying anything to you directly. And it seems your partner's mother isn't dealing with you directly either - so just ignore it all.

  • Registered Users Posts: 3,053 ✭✭✭AidoEirE

    Live your life in your own house, the neighbour will eventually annoy your partners mother.

    If guards or any of that happens or if your partners mother has had enough, document the times she gets the complaint and follow it up with the cameras for timestamps.

    But to be honest feck the neighbour and enjoy your own home.

  • Registered Users Posts: 692 ✭✭✭Ljmscooter

    You need to buy another dog and have a baby. Twins if possible.

    And a guitar 🎸

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭gameoverdude

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,508 ✭✭✭amacca

    Or develop a sudden keen interest in the digirido!

    Keep watching reruns of 2010 world cup and chime in with your vu vu zela...

    Bit of death metal on the weekends and mow the shape of a pentacle into the back lawn...

    Buy the house next door at a steep discount when yer one moves out....sell later for profit after establishing a good rep for the area in subsequent years....could be quite an interesting project 😛

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭gameoverdude

    I'm ridiculously impressed with the thought you put into this project! Missing one thing...depeche mode.

  • Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 19,718 Mod ✭✭✭✭Mr.S

    The dog barking is fairly annoying and would warrant a complaint tbh - but if you say that's now over, they don't really have anything to complain about. My neighbours dog barks for 30 seconds every time someone passes their front door, it's not long but it's **** annoying, and I love dogs.

    Easy fix for your situation, have your partners mum refuse to deal with them and for them to contact you directly.

    Let neighbours know you have cameras recording the dog and house and can tell they are lying about things when you aren't home.

    Odd-ball neighbours who complain if you make any sort of noise are best dealt with sternly and swiftly - reasonable noise during normal hours is perfectly acceptable, but some people expect everyone to be silent in their own homes 24/7.

  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 6,508 ✭✭✭amacca

    Only one song on continous repeat

    Barrel of a gun?

    Dead of night?

    John the revelator sounds too upbeat for a "project" like that imo 🤔