Issues with neighbours- constantly on edge

chloe775

My partner and I rent our house off his mother. We had new neighbours move in around the beginning of the pandemic. To say they’re difficult is an understatement. At the start it was small complaints; our friend laughed outside, kids were playing in the green, etc. Recently though it feels like there’s a complaint every week. Because she knows my partners mom, she never comes to us, she always texts or rings her.

She just point blank won’t speak to us. The big issue started when we bought a dog. He’s a hound and does have a loud bark when he gets going. The complaints started and they basically said that he would bark from the moment we left the house to the moment we came back.

We got him a dog trainer to try and fix this issue, as well as others, and still the complaints came in. We started putting him in doggy day care until we just could no longer afford to do so. A couple of weeks ago she rang my landlord and said she’d call the guards if it wasn’t sorted. We bought cameras for the house so we could see exactly what he’s like.

It was a far cry from what they were saying. He would bark for about 2 minutes when we left and that was it (that barking has now completely stopped) we were food shopping around 2 weeks ago and my partners mom called saying out dog was howling and that our neighbour had tried to call in to speak to me. We found that funNy because she won’t speak to us, in particular me. We checked the cameras and found that he hadn’t barked until she rang the doorbell. The moment she rang the doorbell she called my partners mom. It seemed that she wanted my partners mom to hear him bark. He barked for less than two minutes and that was it.

Since then it just seems like any noise that happens is automatically our fault. There’s been small things since then but last night, my partners mom got a text at 3.22 from our neighbour giving out that our house alarm was going off and we wouldn’t turn it off. We checked the cameras this morning and it wasn’t even our alarm. This is about the 5th time we’ve caught them in a lie with the cameras.

I am at the end of rope with them. I’m anxious to be alone in my house, I get nervous every time my partners mom calls. I don’t like having people at my house, because they’ve given out to our friends in the past. I feel like because we’re younger they feel as if we’re scummy. We’ve had no problems with any other neighbours, we get along with everyone. The area was so nice to live in until they moved in. Really I’m just looking for advice. I know we could move but I don’t want to be forced out of our home. Any suggestions?

chloe775

I should clarify that when I say they won’t speak to us, my partners mother will tell her to come speak to us directly. She says she will but she never does. I know we could go to them but unfortunately the relationship has just completely broken down. When we got the cameras and saw just how much they are lying about us, my partner has no interest in any complaint or anything they have to say. And I understand where he is coming from with that

irelandrover

Have ye told them that ye have cameras and know they are lying?

To be honest tell your partners mother whats going on, that you can show they are lying. And then continue on with your life. If the neighbour wont talk to you and your partners mother knows they are lying then there really is no issue.

Warn your friends that you invite over about the annoying neighbour

whippet

if they are going to complain - give them something to complain about .. other than that - confront them and warn them that if they keep making spurious complaints you will be going to guards to explain that they are harassing, intimidating and intruding on you.

Time to grow a pair and stick up for yourself

Furze99

Is your partner's mother also renting to troublesome neighbours? If she is, then she probably has to take their calls.

If not and even if friends with them, she should just politely decline any contact on related matters and insist they deal direct with your partner & you.

Up to your partner really to sort out how to deal with this with mother.

chloe775

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119354276#Comment_119354276

Yeah I’ve discussed the possibility of going to the guards but was unsure if it would be classed as harassment. I know you’re right, in any other situation this would be over by now as I’m not exactly quiet. But I’m reluctant as I don’t want it to be made out that we’re disrespectful, and potentially cause trouble with our other neighbours. She is in her early 60s and definitely seems like the type of person who would play on the fact that we’re early 20s picking on her

SteM

Outline every lie to your partner's mother. Tell the mother to send a message to your neigbor saying that they will have to directly speak to you from now on. If the neighbor contacts her directly again then she should block their number.

Doesn't matter if your neighbor calls the guards about a dog barking, they won't do a thing about it.

chloe775

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119354283#Comment_119354283

No she’s not renting to them. They bought the house next door. Yes, I can’t lie she’s a big part of the problem here. She’ll tell them to come speak to us but the next time they ring, she’ll answer.

CreadanLady

People like this are common enough. There is something wrong with them mentally usually. Or they are bored attention seekers with nothing better to do.

chloe775

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119354240#Comment_119354240

They know about the cameras as my partners mother told them after the doorbell incident. I’m not sure if they necessarily believe it as it hasn’t made a bit of difference. We’ve told her and showed her some of the videos and yet she’ll still answer the phone when she calls, she’s definitely a part of the problem.

Oh my friends all ready know! A couple of months ago, we had some friends over and two of my girlfriends stepped out for a smoke. I went to join them about a minute later and they weren’t even in my garden. They were across the way in the green because one of the men came out to them!

pauliebdub

Tell your partners mom to block them and not be a go between between them and you. She should have better things to be doing. You also need to stand up to the neighbour and tell them that there's always going to be some noise. Also guards won't get involved in difficulties between neighbours, you're not doing anything illegal

chloe775

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119354326#Comment_119354326

I feel like she’s bored or bitter with life maybe. I know she bought the house because she got divorced. Definitely seems like a bitter lady

KaneToad

There are usually 3 sides to every story. Your side, their side, the truth. None of which are mutually exclusive. It is unlikely your neighbours want to be rowing with you but something has sparked it.

The best neighbours are seen but never heard.

Dogs barking can be quite annoying. You say it's only for 2 mins...but, when it's not your dog, it can feel longer. Plus the neighbour has little idea when the dog might start (or stop) as they have no control over situation. This can also be quite annoying.

Out of interest what are your thoughts on playing music while you are in your garden?

chloe775

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119354347#Comment_119354347

Unfortunately I don’t think she will block her. They are friendly with each other outside of this. I don’t care if they’re friends, I just want the complaints to stop. My partners mother has to be entertaining her in some way, otherwise she wouldn’t keep ringing. Yeah, I know we need to stop being so polite because they haven’t shown us the same respect. I’m not worried about the guards, even if they did show up we have plenty of videos to back up our side.

chloe775

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119354391#Comment_119354391

Oh I completely agree, dog barking is annoying. I get annoyed by my dog barking. But it feels as though they want us to get rid of him altogether. Seeing as they’ve still complained about him barking in the last 2 weeks when he literally hasn’t barked. We used only turn cameras on when we left but now we keep them on 24/7 to prove he doesn’t bark. I don’t think they’re rowing with us as much as they like complaining. I mean they sleep with the bedroom window wide open (like flung out) all the time, no matter the weather and complain about noise (not just us making noise, just noise in general). We also live in the biggest and busiest housing estate in our town. Makes no sense to me.

Never play music in the garden, think I might start.

Hooked

Ok - stumbled into this thread (on home page)... but felt compelled to reply.

First off... I'm assuming that you and your boyfriend are not 10 and 11 years old. And are, in fact, ADULTS? Between ye, tackle the first issue - his mammy being the point of contact. She needs to also block this neighbour(s) because texting ANYONE at nearly 3.30am about YOUR alarm is, quite simply, the behaviour of a mental person. And this neighbour(s) is/are definitely unhinged. Or simply do not answer calls or reply to texts.

MAKE them deal with ye! My guess is - they probably won't want to!

And, if they do - take a firm but curt stance. None of what you are doing is illegal. And no Garda is gonna be arsed in following up with this moron's claims. Tell them that THEY need to stop harassing ye... or ye will go to the Gardaí!!!

Sorry now to put this bluntly - but ye need to grow up... and take charge of this situation. Because it sounds like its making day to day stuff stressful. This will spill into your work life and relationship. Nip this in the bud. NOW.

CreadanLady

Don't worry about the Gardai. If she calls them they will just give her the old "its a civil matter" fob off. The Gardai won't get involved in neighbourly disputes unless things escalate to extreme levels of antisocial behaviour or if there is violence, threats or criminal damage involved. Otherwise, they won't want to know.

KaneToad

"Never play music in the garden, think I might start."

This type of statement doesn't do you any favours.

chloe775

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119354463#Comment_119354463

They play music in their garden. Am I not entitled to play it in mine?

Ash.J.Williams

They haven’t a leg to stand on , f** em

Former Former Former

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119354391#Comment_119354391

 Your side, their side, the truth. 

The OP claims to have video evidence of the neighbour lying, so two of these would indeed seem to be mutually exclusive

GavPJ

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119354240#Comment_119354240

Exactly this.

Big Bag of Chips

What is your partner's mother saying to you? Is she asking you to stop making noise? Is she asking you to get rid of your dog? Is she asking you to check your alarm at 3am? If she's just passing on that neighbour said x, y z, then just reply to that with "Did she? That's strange. Nothing showing up on the camera". Every time.

Is she ringing you or ringing your partner? Your neighbour is a crank - but is not actually saying anything to you directly. And it seems your partner's mother isn't dealing with you directly either - so just ignore it all.

AidoEirE

Live your life in your own house, the neighbour will eventually annoy your partners mother.

If guards or any of that happens or if your partners mother has had enough, document the times she gets the complaint and follow it up with the cameras for timestamps.

But to be honest feck the neighbour and enjoy your own home.

Ljmscooter

You need to buy another dog and have a baby. Twins if possible.

And a guitar 🎸

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119354489#Comment_119354489

Bit of rammstein.

amacca

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119355417#Comment_119355417

Or develop a sudden keen interest in the digirido!

Keep watching reruns of 2010 world cup and chime in with your vu vu zela...

Bit of death metal on the weekends and mow the shape of a pentacle into the back lawn...

Buy the house next door at a steep discount when yer one moves out....sell later for profit after establishing a good rep for the area in subsequent years....could be quite an interesting project 😛

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119355455#Comment_119355455

I'm ridiculously impressed with the thought you put into this project! Missing one thing...depeche mode.

yosser hughes

To be honest people who have dogs are utterly oblivious to the fact that not everyone loves dogs. A barking dog is seriously irritating and it sounds like you leave the dog on its own a lot.

I'm with your neighbours on this as I'd say you're down playing your precious doggy's behaviour.

amacca

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119355487#Comment_119355487

Only one song on continous repeat

Barrel of a gun?

Dead of night?

John the revelator sounds too upbeat for a "project" like that imo 🤔

Big Bag of Chips

Posters are reminded you're posting in the Personal Issues forum - mature, sensible advice to the OP please.

Thanks