So lonely and feel so frustrated and stuck in life

rtc123

I feel like I am about to lose my mind after another day of researching options. My current situation is making me extremely unhappy to the point where I am considering anti depressants as nothing is making me feel any better.

I am back living at home in rural Ireland because I couldn’t afford to rent anymore so moved back to save up a deposit, I have been saving hard but still a long way away from what I need yet. I am lucky to be able to live here but I am completely alone here, no friends or other family in the area or nearby, no transport in the area etc. it is so so hard and lonely and no matter how I get explain it I don’t feel like anyone gets it. 

I spent a long time applying for a job that is a “good stable job” and I managed to get a position, which is brilliant but unfortunately the pay is very low which means I am literally scraping by (especially with diesel/cost of living prices). I have been thinking so hard as to how to get myself out of this situation so thought going back to college to level up in salary would be the answer but unfortunately I don’t qualify for any grants, I have looked up each one but as I work full time & live with parents they are all unavailable to me. I cannot afford to fund my way through college as I just don’t have the money to take out another loan and repay it weekly, I really want to do this but I can’t see any way of this working without some sort of help with funding. 

I realise I am very lucky for being able to live at home and also for a stable job but I am absolutely miserable, I feel like I am stuck in every aspect of my life and I can’t get out of any of it, I don’t see myself being able to do this for 5 years plus until I have my deposit. I have worked since I was 16 and I just feel so frustrated that I can’t afford to rent or to buy or to go back to educate myself further. 

Apologies for the essay, I just needed to get this off my chest and see if maybe anyone else is in a similar position? (I’m sure many are)

yagan

If you're open to it you do have third level options taught via English in many EU countries. Check eunicas.ie for courses, some are free and some countries provide bursaries.

standardg60

There's nothing wrong with taking anti-depressants OP, especially if you've always felt a bit overwhelmed with what life is throwing at you.

Have a chat with your GP.

rtc123

Thank you for that, I’ve never actually heard of this site so I’ll have a look into it now

rtc123

This is the first time I’ve felt I might actually need them, I cry most days and that is so not normal for me.

I’m just really scared of the side affects they may cause.

Furze99

Have you considered distance learning, online course etc? That may be practical and if so, also discuss with employer.

You likely get a certain amount of social interaction from work, unless working from home full time?

What would make life that bit better? Likely some opportunities to socialise with others outside the house, unless you're living in a very remote spot. Volunteering is often a good way in.

lostinsuperfunk

Have a look at Springboard+ free or heavily subsidised courses in Irish colleges

https://springboardcourses.ie/eligibility

Some are available online or remotely so no need to travel, and some are part time so no hit to your pay packet. You don't need to be unemployed to apply, although those unemployed get priority for most courses.

Also the courses are targeted towards fields with high demand so you're likely to get a job afterwards. The colleges also support Springboard students in searching for jobs .

WJL

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058254036/so-lonely-and-feel-so-frustrated-and-stuck-in-life

Have you seen your GP? It might be clinical depression, when nothing seems right. I don't know you of course so it may be the external factors you mention.

I've been there with the stable, pensionable job and it didn't fulfil me.

rtc123

Good to know I’m not the only one about the job, it’s amazing and I’m treated so well but I feel like I’m using 10% of my brain power which is why I want to study.

I have had more so anxiety in the past and felt down but right now I think my external factors are creating the major issues for me

893bet

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119323241#Comment_119323241

This. You can requalify for peanuts. But it’s hard work and you need to be motivated to get through it.

rtc123

Thanks very much for taking the time and the info. I had a look at springboard today and there is one course I might apply for the only thing is it’s a level 6, so would require alot of dither study. I don’t think I would be able for any of the level 8 courses they have (more tech/business)

rtc123

Have you done one before? I haven’t chatted to anyone who has completed one before.

Bigus

With all due respect ,you seem to be letting the bad news in the media get to you.

I say this because you’re using a lot of media sound bites .

”Level up,” by going to college

“no public transport”but yet you refer to Diesel prices ? So if you have your own transport why worry about public transport? Although perhaps this is affecting your potential social life ?

“i couldn’t afford rent” on a positive note you’ve beaten this one .

Also 5 years to gather a deposit to purchase a house would not seem unreasonable? Both now and historically.

I wouldn’t see college as a fix , but you could certainly accelerate things by finding or making a second income stream particularly when all that spare time is available to you as your not distracted by friends or extended family, so you could work 70-80 hrs a week short term.(a bit like working abroad with no,distractions)

Any side income is great , even if it only paid your diesel bill at the start.

Sorry for been harsh , but when myself and my wife were saving for a house we had 5 jobs between us , and a baby , but a very helpful granny babysitter.

So don’t mind the bad news media , because the only one who will boost you up, is yourself,through hard work , been a bit different to the herd , and hopefully getting a bit of luck or a chance encounter, but the harder people work, generally the luckier they get .

rtc123

Thanks very much for taking the time to reply. What you’re saying definitely does make sense and fair play to ye for working so hard to achieve the deposit.

I have been looking around for second jobs but am finding them a little hard to come by around here, I have no problem doing any job so I might widen my search location wise.

I was thinking college would be a way to boost my salary long term, to engage my brain again and possible meet some like minded people along the way.

Bigus

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119323334#Comment_119323334

You need a more instant solution than college, go, out and chase some extra money …. Now , it might become very empowering, even if you get knocked back at the start.

Chop firewood if you have to or turn discarded clean pallets into kindling , to take advantage of the bad news on oil prices.

standardg60

Just stick around here OP, plenty of lonely and frustrated people who post sh1te on anything and everything just to engage their brain, me included.

Anti-depressants are notorious for ruining your sex drive, which back living at home with the parents might be no bad thing!

rtc123

I would love something instant, but also aware my salary will take a long time to increase so need to find something sustainable to do, thanks 🙂

rtc123

Is it sad that this post is the most human interaction I have had all day and it’s not even in person 🙈

No definitely not a bad thing living here! I’m more worried about it making things worse and there’s only one way to find out unfortunately!

Pissy Missy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058254036/so-lonely-and-feel-so-frustrated-and-stuck-in-life

Absolute feels, in my 30s and in a similar situation. Could you try find a better paying job? Even if its slightly unrelated to your profression, that's what I'm aiming for as my profession is massively underpaid and my focus is on saving for a house

rtc123

Same here just entered my 30s, not what I had pictured 😂🤔

This isn’t my dream job to be honest but there are a lot of pros to it so I said I would wait it out till after 1 year and see.

please message me any time sounds like we are in a similar boat ☺️

forestgirl

Maybe I will get flamed for saying this but I took anti depressants and they just made me sleep all day op.I know you want to get going so that points out to me that you don't seem depressed but obviously fed up as you feel you should be out there in the world. You seem really eager which is good and I hope something works out for you

rtc123

Thanks for your lovely comment, and it’s a pity they didn’t work out for you.

I am just eager to do anything to get out of this situation I’m in right now 🙈 also holding on hope that things will get better or easier really soon.

thinkabouit

Don't go near anti depressants they will only make things worse in the long run.

Stay away from alcohol and drug's

Exercise like he'll and sweat buckets you'll feel so much better

Drink plenty water and just try different thing's especially stuff you've never tried before.

Keep going stay busy you'll get through it, it's only temporary.

Purple Mountain

Are you going to work every day or working from home?

If you're going into a work environment, can you stay back afterwards and put on a pair of trainers and ask a colleague to go for a walk 2 or 3 times a week?

Go into the nearest town and use the swimming pool a few times a week?

Getting the fresh sir and exercise will fire up your endorphins and can open the door to meeting people.

You might find you won't need antidepressants after all.

Do you want a life partner? Have you joined dating sites to see if you can make this happen? Even going on a few dates will get you out there meeting people and open up your social life again.

rtc123

I am feeling 50/50 about taking them myself, but then again maybe should speak to the GP.

I don’t take drugs or drink, I try to work out as much as possible but I haven’t enjoyed it recently or felt better from it, seem to be missing this serotonin buzz everyone gets!

rtc123

These are great suggestions thanks. I work with older ladies who work later than me and have families to get back to unfortunately. I try meet friends during the week but they are often busy with partners etc. and I’m getting tired of being the one to make plans but I will still do it.

I am in a relationship at the moment and my partner is great and supportive and makes plans with me as much as possible but he has so much going on I dont want to be dependant on his company.

Oscar Madison

Anti-D's are not the long term answer!

You need to change your living/working environmental lifestyle.

That will not be easy but it will be easier in the grand scale of things!

rtc123

Yeah one of the reasons I’m worried about them, that they are going to be hard to get off and I’ll end up feeling worse.

im trying hard to make changes in any way and I even recently applied for a totally different job but that didn’t work out so I felt knocked again (though didn’t dwell on it). I feel like every day I want to do something drastic like move country or something just because I’m so damn bored.

Purple Mountain

If you can see yourself with your bf longterm, have you factored in his share into a mortgage?

What I'm saying is that your goal of owning a house won't be as far away as you think.

As for living at home, see it as a temporary solution and a blessing that you don't have to fork out for rent. Offer to help around the house to get a bit of motivation going: painting, gardening etc. physical work.

rolling boh

Do you spend much time with your partner and do you see a future with him ? . Is he aware that you are feeling the way you are and you say he is supportive in what way ? .

rtc123

Yeah he is in college and works full time and lives an hour away so it can be tricky but we see eachother as often as possible, but I know with him going into his masters it will be harder again with study time etc.

he’s aware I feel this way and he is trying to help with suggestions as what to do, supporting any idea I come up with and also he is the one who got me into counselling through his job, we talk about it regularly but I don’t want to keep talking about it and still feel the same way.