Condom normal usage

WildForest

Have followed boards for years but haven't posted for a few years so had to set up a new account. Had a discussion yesterday with the OH regarding normal usage of condoms. Before anyone comments I understand reproduction and how things work - married with kids in 40s. OH believes condoms should go on at the start or near enough and I work on a different policy - the Just in Time method or well past midway. So for those in a similar situation LTR etc. what's your policy.

Corolla1990

Unless both party have a reproductive problem you can get pregnant by pre-cum. So how can you put it on midway?

It should go on before any action starts. I don't know if you are trolling but someone mid 40's with kids should know this.

lawred2

I'm a midway man myself.

That or pull it out.

40 years of age and three planned kids. No accidents.

WildForest

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119249679#Comment_119249679

Thanks. There is always one that thinks everyone is trolling.

Gant21

Definitely just stop and wrap up and go again before you fire.

Feisar

What planet are ye lads on.

cj maxx

Always as soon as you know its gonna happen and are hard. If you're in a LTR and there's other contraceptive options, why are you still using condoms?

WildForest

Have used other methods previously but some didn't agree and OH not that keen on hormonal. Use to be able to follow the cycle more regularly, which gave a indication of when to cover up quicker, but not as easy now. Would have presumed condom usage was common enough in the 40 to 50 age group. But maybe not.

giveitholly

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119250082#Comment_119250082

Getting the snip is the only answer,you will not regret it

cj maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119250082#Comment_119250082

Ì know of women who just don't like that sensation , but I would have thought that people in their 40's in a LTR would have moved past that. But if other methods don't work, put it on as soon as you start. I could never stop. Mid fu.ck to put one on. Just me.

Gant21

Is ltr some LGBTQIA’s+?

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edited to remove the unnecessary additional letters/symbols

Victor

LTR = long term relationship

Jequ0n

I don’t understand why you’d put on a condom mid way. You are still risking pregnancy and are ruining the sex by interrupting in the middle to wrap up.

Wezz

Unless you are both ok with another baby I’d be putting it on at the start. Not work the risk of stopping midway.

but if your family is complete I don’t understand why you wouldn’t just go for a vasectomy.

Dial Hard

My policy on condoms is that they suck and there's no way I'd be using them in a committed relationship (female, 40, btw).

One of the reasons they suck is the very one you're dealing with - having to figure out when to put it on, interrupt the proceedings to do so, etc etc.

If your wife can't/won't do hormonal contraception there are other options out there that both of you can explore. Copper coil for her, vasectomy for you, etc.

I actually can't think of anything worse than being with someone long term and still using condoms. They just kill any iota of spontaneity around sex. It's a happy day indeed for me in a relationship when we do the "get tested and ditch 'em" thing.

Gant21

Coitus interuptus is the only way now

ted1

Mid 40s with kids ? No reason not to get the snip.

best €400 you will ever spend.

colly10

Same, always been midway. 39 with no unplanned kids

Markus Antonius

Abstinence is the safest way

Jb1989

I thought aids and other diseases came from unprotected sex too, and it was the norm to put condom on from first penetration.

I'm surprised not to have seen this mentioned.

Always put on at the beginning here, or else not at all.

My personal opinion though.

Padre_Pio

Always did it halfway or near the end.

No happy accidents after 10 years or so..

Maybe I'm the problem

Dial Hard

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119255284#Comment_119255284

They're married. I know people cheat but for the most part, people in committed relationships will trust that their partner isn't putting them at risk of STIs.

Loafing Oaf

dodgy joke deleted, forgot this was RI forum...

Pissy Missy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119255284#Comment_119255284

In a LTR you'd be hoping there would be no STDs from your OH, though seeing as 50% of ppl cheat you're prob right

Pissy Missy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058251776/condom-normal-usage

Men can start getting the pill now so if you haven't tried it, there's an option for you. Risky sex is not worth the possibility of having another child unless you're prepared for it

Dial Hard

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119255886#Comment_119255886

No they can't, that never even made it to the market. Clinical trial was stopped because some participants were getting headaches, basically.

Pissy Missy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119255906#Comment_119255906

Rage 🙈

ted1

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119255284#Comment_119255284

It’s with his wife. I don’t think STDs are an issue.

Tefral

Honestly I never in my life heard of being in the middle of penetration and then putting a condom on..

I can understand no condoms during foreplay but once that finishes and your ready to stick it in, thats when the condom goes on in my mind.

RojaStar

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119266656#Comment_119266656

Me neither, talk about ruining the buzz! At the start or not at all as someone said. I'm quite taken aback that this is even a thing 😂.

AgentCluedo

Younger days and pre marriage there was not a chance. It was a case of all bases covered. Married and older now and midway most of the time. Two bites at the cherry!

standardg60

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119255906#Comment_119255906

Actual headaches or they started telling the missus not to bother trying?

Big Bag of Chips

A number of off-topic posts have been deleted.

@Gant21 I ask you specifically to read The Forum Charter. I have deleted a number of your posts today that were below the standard of posting expected in this Forum.

sprucemoose

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058251776/condom-normal-usage

eh, you sure you know how things work though?

WildForest

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119269467#Comment_119269467

I qualified my first post by saying I cover up quicker depending on OH's cycle. It is not a million miles of the rhythm method but with protection at the end...and less mess. I googled after reaction to the post and there are a number of studies in this area including one from the RSCI. The age profile of participants in the RSCI paper are in their 20s to early 30s.

Are my reading comprehension skills betraying me or do people actually stop mid-ride to put a johnny on?

shesty

The snip.

On your wife's behalf.Trust me.Condoms do fail, no matter when they go on.

artvanderlay

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058251776/condom-normal-usage

Midway??? That sounds crazy. Put it on at the beginning! Married 20 years, no kids and don't plan on having any :)

notAMember

OP, What you're doing is combining two contraceptive methods there, rhythm method and barrier method, which is very effective, more effective than using one method alone.

You could consider the snip just to stop tracking or buying condoms, and also in case the cycle starts to change closer to you getting to your 50's. But if you're well aware of your own body and your wife's body and cycle, midway works fine when you're aware of the cycle phase. (that's the rhythm method) . Kudos to you on being in tune with your wife and her body by the way. Plenty of men don't have that awareness or consideration.

For the incredulous commenters who are shocked, I wonder if any of you change position or adjust. Because it sounds more like 30 seconds in one position, wham bam and you're done. Condoms can slip or tear if they are on for too long, or if there is a position change and they are readjusted.

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058251776/condom-normal-usage

OH believes condoms should go on at the start or near enough and I work on a different policy

How exactly have you managed to get this far and still declare to be each using different "policies"?

Unless your missus has the different "policy" for some other fella!

Mobius2021

In a LTR I don't understand why you're not looking at other options and ditching the condoms.

My wife and I are not big fans of condoms, as a guy I certainly notice a huge difference and she does too. It's much more intimate without and putting on a condom breaks the flow of things. We both did use condoms of course for one night stands, friend with benefits, that kind of thing before we met.

Apart from the first few times we had sex and after each of our two kids being born (as you can't go back on the pill right away) we have never really used condoms much.

After kids number two I got the snip and it's great. No condoms and no need for the pill either.

artvanderlay

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119318698#Comment_119318698

Well you can change condoms with position changes/breaks in action. That's what I do. Going a lot longer than 30 seconds too :) Never had any problems. I think I'm a bit of a freak because I prefer sex with the condoms (extra thin though). I don't view it as a chore at all, and keeping things up is not a problem (ahem!). Wife didn't really like the effects of the pill, and I didn't want her putting anything into her system that was not good for her, so I view contraception as my responsibility. In the words of Pat Mustard "I'm a very careful man, Father". I'm also grateful for the sex, so it's the least I can do :)

ElizaBennett

Sounds like there is a variety of approaches on here. Im in the condom on midway camp. Late 40s female, long term partner but my ex husband and I did this too. Basically my GP is ultra conservative and cut me off for oral contraception at about 43.. but that's another annoying story. Couldn't stomach the idea of putting something that sounds like a torture device permanently inside me ( the coil.. eek!) So we don't have options. I have no problem with how we conduct business. We get down to proceedings, maybe for 10 to 15 minutes, changing position, etc, then he goes to put the condom on while I look at him admiringly, maybe touching or kissing him, and then into the final phase which is much more busy and intense, shall we say. It works for us. Very well.

CrookedJack

OP I'm confused, when I first read your post I thought you meant "Midway" meaning after foreplay but before penetration. But others seem to assume you mean halfway through penetration, approaching climax. Although now I think of it maybe when in a long-term marriage with kids the foreplay part is non-existent?

If it's the case of midway through penetration, then that sounds mad. Building up all that lovely pressure and erotic tension to then have to stop, root around for a packet and fumble it on, all while you both start cooling down. Also, you know there are days where you might just enjoy it that bit too much and "beat the buzzer" so to speak.

At the end of the day though, if she wants it on from the start surely that's her choice? Why would you not want to do it, if it makes her more comfortable? I mean I imagine there are plenty of couples in their forties with kids who don't have sex at all, you're probably quite lucky in that way and should try to protect the romantic feelings you both have.