Bird moving into my gaff - what’s fair to charge her?

Ham Grenade

What’s the usual situation for this. My girlfriend of 18 months is moving in next month to my apartment which I own outright. What is a reasonable financial arrangement to propose? Don’t what it to look like I’m paying for sexy time but I feel she should pay something

sprucemoose

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058249584/bird-moving-into-my-gaff-what-s-fair-to-charge-her

if you own it outright, split the bills. if youre paying a mortgage get her to contribute towards that

mr j tayto

For any bird, a box of Thrill a week should be sufficient, I would think.

Mech1

Trill is the word your looking for.

SCOOP 64

Day rate or Night rate ?

Real Donald Trump

Be prepared to lose it all

Gant21

Council house rates €25 a week.

Ham Grenade

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119181061#Comment_119181061

Don’t have a mortgage. But I feel she should contribute beyond bills

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058249584/bird-moving-into-my-gaff-what-s-fair-to-charge-her

Jesus Christ. 18 months is very young. They meant years, not months, when they told you the minimum age.

Am off to report you to the cops.

Strumms

50/50 on bills.. electricity, heat insurance, shopping etc

to be honest I’d just quote her a figure… say you’ve been through the bills and her monthly contribution to the running needs to be xxxx…

any debate, negotiation or pullback just don’t entertain it… like it or lump it. Don’t put yourself in a spot.

sprucemoose

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119181132#Comment_119181132

well done

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119181127#Comment_119181127

well prepare to open up a can of worms. if ye were married would you expect rent? most likely not and while yer not in exactly the same situation, id be looking at it from that POV. yep shes getting the better deal by getting free rent essentially but if anything goes south then you'll still have the gaff

UsBus

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119181127#Comment_119181127

Keep it to 50/50 on bills. Will be much simpler down the line if it doesn't work out. As long as your property is in good nic, you'll still have the asset in years to come.

Roger Mellie Man on the Telly

Have her cook all your meals and wash your clothes. "Beauty will not make the pot boil".

snowcat

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119181159#Comment_119181159

Jaysus dont be tight. You are obviously doing ok to own your own apartment. The women love that so i would not charge her but if she mis behaves give her the boot.

piplip87

I'd suggest you let her find somewhere else. Your suggesting she should pay rent to live in your house ? Your obviously not ready to share your space with her.

When she moves in it will be her home too thats what normally happens when couples move in together, I don't feel your ready for that and it will still be your home with a lodger....

Amadan Dubh

Moving in with you means it's her home too. Soon you will be sharing a bank account. If you can't commit to her then why are you moving in?

lawred2

She'll be delighted to hear that you see her as a tenant in your paid for gaff.

walshb

If she’s at all decent, a keeper you won’t need to have any conversation, or bring this up; she will bring it up and offer/insist on contributing to pay the mortgage.

edit: it’s paid. I’d not be charging her a cent in rent.

SEPT 23 1989

If it all goes wrong it’s her house now and you will be that guy sitting on the canal bank drinking Lidl own brand cans of beer talking to the swans at 11 o’clock on a Tuesday morning

standardg60

If you bring it up you're a tight wad and she'll quickly see you're not for her. Conversely if she doesn't immediately offer to share the bills ditto, simples.

I certainly wouldn't be expecting more than outgoings to be shared though, given you have no mortgage, if you feel entitled to rent on top because she'd be paying it elsewhere, then you are indeed a tight wad.

Confused11811

Protect yourself and your financial security. Come up with a house share agreement with her as a licensee. Bills to be paid 50/50 along with the agreed rate of rent. Declare your "earnings" under the revenue rent a room scheme.

It's all roses in the garden now but when the five year itch kicks in the thorns will show. If you've not protected yourself she could have a claim over your property. You've alot more to loose financially than her.

You own an apartment.

Your girlfriend is moving in.

You need to ask on Boards what to charge.

I predict you will be homeless in about 9 months and she will have your car as well.

Potential-Monke

It's a bit different seeing as you already outright own the place. Bills should be 50/50, men and women are equal these days, no room for chivalry. When I had the house and mortgage, I charged herself €300 a month, far less than what she was paying in rent and just under 1/3rd of the monthly mortgage. The intent was she would join me on the mortgage at some point, but after I told her I wanted €10k as the deposit cost me €20k and I was only in there a year before she moved in. Only fair she pays half, including the deposit, imo. Anyway, that didn't happen because we're both smart and realised it may not work out as intended. Which was good, because it didn't work out as intended (we broke up because she started getting serious about having kids, mutual agreement about 2 years later).

I mean, why shouldn't someone who is living in your house pay towards the upkeep (rent) and bills? If there was a mortgage, would people expect to let her live there rent free just because "love"?

standardg60

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119181467#Comment_119181467

No offence but you sound exactly like the OP. She started getting serious?

No she was just committed to the natural progression of the relationship, which you never were, considering your demands.

sprucemoose

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119181296#Comment_119181296

titling the discussion 'bird moving into my gaff' suggested the same to me tbh

Do not cohabitate until you have read this "Rights of Cohabitating Couples" and researched the subject in far greater detail.

You really should have done this before now.

What to charge? Shared utility bills and groceries only.

Do not charge "rent" or seek contributions towards apartment maintenance (management fees?) and keep all utilites in your name only.

Pissy Missy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119181127#Comment_119181127

Is this a girlfriend or a tenant that will be moving in!? Fairplay to her if she's happy to give you money for rent when the apartment is already paid off. But if I owned my own place and my boyfriend moved in, no way would I be asking for rent nor expecting to pay it if the shoe was on the other foot.

Donald Trump

Don’t what it to look like I’m paying for sexy time

OP, you need to realise that you are, and always will be, paying for sexy time. The only question is how much!

Leg End Reject

Would she not be more at home in a nest? Get her a perch at least and let her out the window a few times a day.

Fandymo

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119181743#Comment_119181743

You’re a woman though. If it went on it’s arse you’d be entitled to your house. If after a few years this goes on it’s arse she’ll have a claim on the apartment as a cohabiting partner.

Alls well and good at the start, but the claws are soon out if it doesn’t end well.

Pissy Missy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119181769#Comment_119181769

Surely it would work both ways, like if my said boyfriend moved in for 5 years, surely he could make a claim on my house too if it went belly up, it's hardly one rule for a man, one rule for the woman

cj maxx

50/ 50on the bills , food and sundries. Find out from an estate agent what the going rate is and half it. Sex on tap.

And give her a rent book , or better still, ask a solicitor

BorneTobyWilde

If she pays a dime towards anything she'll have a right to your home if you split.

cj maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119181947#Comment_119181947

Hence why I said a solicitor. Actually it may be worth getting an estate agent to the lessor. Solicitor solicitor solicitor is my best advice

Loafing Oaf

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119181409#Comment_119181409

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119181890#Comment_119181890

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119181698#Comment_119181698

Way to take the fun out of 'living in sin'...I'd say OP would struggle to get it up at all after wading through all that...

Padre_Pio

Honestly, 300-500 a month and tell her it's rent (in a jokey, but deadly serious way).

She's getting a good deal moving in with you, since she'd be paying more anywhere else.

Now if you were smart you'd put her rent money into an account, then buy stuff for the house out of it. You're happy, you get new furniture, she's happy, she gets the Live Laugh Love cushions she wants.

No arguments about you taking her money, since you're spending it on stuff you both enjoy.

chuck eastwood

You feel she should contribute beyond bills ?. Like as in pay you for the privilege of living with you. You're not covering any of her costs if you own the gaff and you want to make a few quid off her. Jesus you're some catch fella

You can create a Cohabitants Agreement. If you're not ready to discuss this properly, you're not ready to live together and shouldn't do it.

Cohabitant Agreement Template

It could still be challenged in court, but is at least a decent record of what you agreed BEFORE your partner moves in.

lmimmfn

Charge her like you would a tenant for rent and split all bills 50/50

That should make sure she's not your gf for long and just a person you know/tenant.

Post again when you're ready to actually share your life with someone.

cj maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119181975#Comment_119181975

I agree, kind of ruins the love buzz of moving in together, but I know of several lads who thought they had it all. Career, house, live in gf ( partner) only to have her clean him. Granted the lads I knew that it happened to was 20+ years ago and maybe the interpretation of the laws have changed. But legal advice first.

Yoshimi79

Charge her about €800 a month and bills 50/50. I think that's reasonable, some drink money for you

Bloke moving his dick into my vagina.

What's fair to charge him?

Potential-Monke

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119181604#Comment_119181604

Ah watch on, you take a single post and decide you've figured out the entire relationship just like that. Fair play to ya. Mystic Meg would be proud. I wonder why she stayed with me for 7 years if I was so demanding and un-committed, followed me from one county to another to live with me. And we never talked about kids. No, that doesn't happen in relationships. Suppose maybe I had her trapped somehow as well, she wanted to leave but I wouldn't let her. Probably abused her too yeah? Seeing as you're making stuff up, we might as well continue.

Boards full of judgment as always. Why do people always comment on stuff they know nothing about? For the thanks I'd imagine. Go you!

Edit: I realised that maybe my wording allowed you to start the fabrication, so let me clarify. She got serious about definitely wanting them. I got getting serious about definitely not wanting them. We came to a mutual agreement and parted ways. Or should I have taken her at her word when she said "It's ok, I don't want kids if you stay with me"? Maybe I should have said ok, denied her children (by getting the chop) and then be blamed for her unhappiness?

Please, do tell, how would that have worked out, seeing as you know so well.

lawred2

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119181890#Comment_119181890

Sex on tap?

Fandymo

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119181805#Comment_119181805

Are you new to Ireland? Go to family court and see if it’s one rule for men and another for women

Dempo1

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119181101#Comment_119181101

Brilliant 😂 I actually thought this was a wildlife thread, do people seriously still call their girlfriends "Birds"

Pissy Missy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119182176#Comment_119182176

Now you're bringing hypothetical children in the mix

Fandymo

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119182344#Comment_119182344

I’m showing that there is one law for women and another for men. Something you said there “hardly” was.

pgj2015

never ever let them move in. Let her rent somewhere else, then if/when it doesnt work out (most relationships wont last) you still have your home.

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119181805#Comment_119181805

I heard this from a law lecturer. A woman inherited a small cottage from her Grandmother, her boyfriend moved in with her, for maybe 3 years or 5. Things didnt work out, they broke up. He inherited a mansion from his mother but found out as he lived in the cottage for so many years, he was entitled to half the cottage. He went looking for his half out of spite.

FutureGuy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119181322#Comment_119181322

And a bird