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Housemate -unreasonable noise complaint

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  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    I find some people can just be utterly ridiculous and aren’t really capable of sharing space or living in urban areas.

    We’d a neighbour who used to give out to us if our kitchen light was on after 11pm !? Absolute pain of a guy. He would knock on the door complaining about our dog barking - I do not and never have had a dog and what’s even weirder is nor did anyone else near by and I have never heard a dog barking in the area. He even called the dog warden on us multiple times.

    He would accuse me of having parties or playing loud music, when there were no parties whatsoever and I don’t play loud music. He even complained about a party when there was nobody in the house at all!

    I ended up actually having to tell him if he didn’t stop doing this I would have to make a complaint to the guards about harassment as it was going way beyond anything remotely reasonable. Only conclusion I can come to is the guy had a few screws loose.

    The other one which was even more abhorrent was at my late mother’s house. She had a neighbour several houses away (like 200m+ from the house) who had a rather highly strung member of the family. She took a notion that my mother’s house alarm was going off regularly. It was not and she was quite tech savvy and very well able to prove the alarm hadn’t sounded.

    It’s possible perhaps another neighbour’s alarm was having the odd false alarm, but it certainly wasn’t anything to do with my mom. Anyway, she arrived down at the house one morning at about 8am bashing on the door and going utterly crazy. Roared and shouted at my mother, who had a serious heart condition at the time and also wasn’t all that mobile either due to arthritis.

    My mom ended having a huge argument with her and getting pains in her chest and getting dizzy etc, yet this nutter kept roaring at her until she slammed the door in her face.

    Some odd people out there…



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Your comment is helpful as what I got from it was don't bow to unreasonable requests, as you'll be taken advantage of and I'll regret it



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Maybe fair, yes her request is unreasonable, she's human too with her emotions. Might be a build up of all sort of stuff and then she left it out. Not so much what she but how she said it and yeah I'll take no notice of her really. I'll do me. Don't do anything out of spite or be disrespectful



  • Registered Users Posts: 5,779 ✭✭✭Princess Calla


    Well if that's what works for you that's fine. We allow ours to air dry and put them away whenever we are pottering around the kitchen....waiting for kettle to boil etc.

    To be honest I'd have a much bigger issue with music classes happening in the house. While a musical instrument played by an accomplished musician can be absolutely beautiful, played by a learner can often resemble a cat being strangled. As for scales being repeated over and over....yeah not for me.

    Also does the lesson happen in the bedroom...which is kinda fair enough...or does one of the living rooms get taken over meaning other housemates can't enjoy property that they are paying rent for....which I would find unacceptable.

    If I was the music teacher I certainly wouldn't be complaining about noise.....good luck finding housemates that would be happy sharing a house with that set up.



  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,927 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hannibal_Smith


    Mod note

    I've deleted a number of off topic posts. The OP has already explained what they meant by explaining themselves/housemates as professionals.

    Please remember to offer advice to the OP when replying to their thread.

    Thanks

    HS



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  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    She teaches online from her bedroom in the evening, it does vibrate throughout the house. I'm used to it and I take no notice. Like we all gotta live in the house and she could be doing worse things. Her bedroom is next to the kitchen downstairs. Right now at 11.25 the washing machine is on in the utility room next to the kitchen, it will be on for another hour. Not on by me, I usually have it on for a half hour cycle during the day. The dryer could be on anther night, I never use the dryer. All that just shows how ludicrous it was that she went off on me for placing a saucepan into the cupboard and it made some noise as I placing the bigger saucepan in the bottom of the pile at 7.45am. It's all pety. I wish my reaction was less frightened and more standing up for myself, in the moment its really difficult for me and then I just got upset. I think I'm getting fed up with being in a house share and with living with others and need to completly do my own thing here in the house, look after number one.



  • Registered Users Posts: 576 ✭✭✭CrookedJack



    I find it bizarre that a lot of the responses here are about never backing down and make sure you don't budge an inch. They all sound like horrible people to live with.

    I don't know why your response wasn't "Oh, I'm sorry to disturb you, I'll try to be quieter in future".

    I mean it costs you nothing, it'll make her life easier, it'll diffuse the tension and you get to be a good person too. All of this "stick to your guns, never say die" stuff just seems childish. As i'm sure her over the top reaction obviously was too. But as you say above she's obviously constantly being disturbed, so I imagine this was the straw that broke the camels back - I think there's a more compassionate view you can take here rather than the more combative suggestions.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    The thing is though it wasn't so much what she was saying but her manner too in regards to it and other then that it would seem like I'd be unable to come downstairs till when she approves. She said that it was before 8. I wasn't sorry though as I wasn't doing anything deliberate or unreasonable and I will be boiling the kettle again before 8 in the mornings like I've always done over the last 4 years. I get what you mean that even in the then and there if I said sorry that you woke up. I was so taken a back by it and my other housemate was in the kitchen too and at 7 am, he was dragging his bike out of the living next to her room and went off and in after half an hour he dragged it back in, making noise too. He could keep the bike in the back yard that has an external entrance through the back door that is locked. It feels like as the other female, who is anxious (that's probably apparent as I'm disecting an interaction here) it was easier to place her anger on me. Now maybe this reads validate that I'm right



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    The washing machine is now going through the spin cycle which is la bit loud where my room is upstairs, if you're downstairs like her it would be very loud. She's all friendly with the guys. I think her nose is out of joint that my work role has changed where I'm moved to a permanent work from home role and at home, when she used to enjoy an empty house during the day with everyone else gone to work and it's easier to say something to me then the lads.



  • Registered Users Posts: 5,779 ✭✭✭Princess Calla


    But why should she apologize she did nothing wrong.

    She could easily have been taking a pot out to boil an egg, frying pan for a rasher, liquidizer for a smoothie, coffee grinder for a coffee etc. All perfectly normal breakfast noise. 7:45 is a perfectly normal breakfast time.

    The OP didn't deserve to be shouted at.



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  • Registered Users Posts: 10,001 ✭✭✭✭Caranica


    There's a couple of things here:

    Sounds like the landlord/tenants have turned a downstairs reception room into a bedroom. Houses were not designed for this and of course sound will carry.

    OP if you're working from home all the time, did you have to put the stuff away first thing?

    At least two of you are now working from home, based on the length of tenure neither of you did that before. It will change the dynamic of a house. Did you both address that with your housemates OP? Maybe offer to pay a slightly larger portion of utility bills?

    I'm not justifying her reaction but I think there could be more to it than just noise, I agree that it probably is pushback against you being there all the time.



  • Registered Users Posts: 69 ✭✭KerryM9


    Wait so you think people don't have a right to peaceful enjoyment of their home? Crazy stuff.

    I get that not everyone is sensitive to noise to the same degree, but there's a real lack of empathy here for people who do struggle with noise, for whom it can cause real mental anguish. And not everyone can just leave their home, depends on their financial situation etc.



  • Registered Users Posts: 6,034 ✭✭✭Jequ0n


    OP, you are making a mountain out of a mole hill. Fine, she shouldn’t have snapped at you, but here you are now conjuring up reasons why she might be having an issue with you personally.

    Your updates simply show that there were several things that might have woken her this morning and the most likely explanation is that she just had enough by 7:45, so you got to bear the brunt of it.

    Of course she was out of line. But your over analysis of her behaviour and possible attitudes towards you (the envy angle especially) make you look petty, not her.



  • Registered Users Posts: 576 ✭✭✭CrookedJack


    As I said, she could apologise for disturbing her - I mean surely as adults we know that it's possible unintentionally upset people, and as empathetic adults we would be sorry for that.

    I agree OP could easily have been doing those things, and presumably would be trying to do them with as little disruption as possible to someone still in bed. I know it's certainly possible to rearrange pots and pans quietly.

    The OP did not deserve to be shouted at. No one deserves to be shouted at. Only children think in terms of people deserving bad things happening to them.



  • Registered Users Posts: 1,082 ✭✭✭spakman


    Crying about it is a bit OTT. Just roll your eyes and carry on with your day



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Ya it got my off guard. I've got that attitude now and a better perspective. Thanks though



  • Registered Users Posts: 8,236 ✭✭✭Esse85


    Reading this would put anyone off ever house sharing again.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Yep, it sure would and it's all petty small trivial things that add up, lack of communication too.



  • Registered Users Posts: 647 ✭✭✭LilacNails


    Sometimes when u do communicate , still doesn't make a difference .



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