Staring - how rude

EmmetSpiceland

I believe there’s an old saying, “it’s rude to stare”. I think that applies here. Having someone stare at you long enough to cause discomfort is the height of rudeness, or pretty close anyway.

Well done for challenging them, somewhat, but I wouldn’t recommend “engaging” with anyone who stares like that. Last thing you want is some creepy guy thinking he can join your table and you’d have to endure greasy compliments and open mouthed chewing.

dxhound2005

A staff member should not do that.

Liberty_Bear

I woke up at midnight to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor staring at me from the foot of my bed...

First I was afraid, I was petrified.

Liberty_Bear

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118538370#Comment_118538370

In Coppers they call it chatting up dont they?

Over a decade in China... you get used to being stared at.

Look.. you have no idea why someone is staring at you, and they could easily be staring through you, thinking some other thoughts.

TheTruth89

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058229981/staring-how-rude

I feel like this post belongs on Facebook.... somewhere......

You Ok ? Pm me hun!

sporina

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118538370#Comment_118538370

he was a member of staff

Donald Trump

He was only keeping an eye on you because the last time you left without paying

Markus Antonius

If someone stares at me I aggressively demand them to give me back the light that bounced off my face.

Victor

Years ago, I used to have a meeting about once a month in town. Afterwards I'd go to the café next door for a sandwich. It would be before the lunch rush and the café would often be very quiet. I noticed the same staff member a number of times, she seemed nice.

One day, she spent the whole time staring at me. As I was leaving, she was taking a break and stepping outside. I took my chance and invited her for a drink. It turned out she was married, so fairs fair. The reason she was staring was not infatuation, but a hangover.

Cookie_Monster

maybe you're nice to look at OP?

kirk.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118538530#Comment_118538530

Careful there #metoo

boardlady

Honestly, I'd just be happy to turn someone's head 😚

I often wonder how many people who are staring - actually are.

Sometimes they might have their face nominally pointed in your direction but are actually looking past you in some cases but the human mind is prone to interpreting eyes looking generally in our direction as actually looking directly at us for obvious evolutionary reasons - or are "staring into the distance" without actually seeing anything at all because they are deep in thought or in a world inside their head.

In both cases our very human reaction is to feel uncomfortable at being stared at - when in fact often we actually aren't.

Wibbs

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118538457#Comment_118538457

Anyone who uses that quote in earnest is a 100% guaranteed, grade A, 24 carat headmelt, to be avoided like the very plague. Much like Monroe herself.

BurgerFace

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058229981/staring-how-rude

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ajyNXTVkyk

Mister Vain

What kind of stare was it? Was it like that creepy scene from Shame?

sporina

too many replies to quote.. but cheers for all your input - some funny, some crazy, some silly, some wise..

@Victor I totally hear ya - but it wasn't like that.. too hard to explain.. but he was proper staring at me - at intervals... and there was nothing behind me but a wall..

anyway - so glad I dealt with it..

Someone asked why I had a prob with it.. i'm not self conscious at all - v happy in my own skin.. but its rude.. hope he doesn't do it to others.. not nice for those who maybe are self conscious etc,..

Someone said maybe i'm nice to look at.. lol.. thanks - era i'm alright.. but it wasn't like that.. he kinda had a look of disapproval in his eye - as if I didn't pay last time I was there.. (I go to this cafe a lot - he's new)

So thats it.. folks - don't stare - tis rude..

Strumms

Could be worse… Frank ^^ is always staring at me….. this is a live ‘Frank the monkey cam’ of him, staring at me. :O

AyeGer

Did you do anything wrong like spit out your food and say that’s rotten or make a mess on the floor? Or is it more likely he was ogling you.

corner of hells

Maybe he was blind ?

Or dumb , you've heard of a dumb waiter ?

One eyed Jack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118542266#Comment_118542266

Round the time I was losing visibility in my eye, I was up in the GP’s waiting room, waiting to be seen… must be another way to say that 🤔 But anyway, I was wearing an eyepatch because the eye was seriously inflamed, rank looking.

I lifted the eyepatch to rub my eye when I thought nobody was looking, and next thing out of my other eye I saw a kid staring me out of it from across the room. His mam told him stop staring but he wasn’t doing any harm, so I lifted the eyepatch again and this time he was trying so hard not to laugh, I figured fcuk it, he’s only a child. He must have been fascinated by it and I know what that was like when I was a child myself and I’d see something odd, know I shouldn’t laugh, but god damn it was impossible, we’ve all been there 😂

Sure, staring is rude, but it depends on context whether or not there’s anything behind it, and most of the time I don’t mind, but there are times alright when I’m not ok with it and the person staring knows I’m not ok with it. I’ll sit it out though, or I’ll move, depends on whatever is happening. Hate when people creep up on me in my blind spot though, they’re not aware I can’t see them but they frighten the shyte out of me when it’s like they appear out of nowhere and they’re just standing there 😂😂

Archeron

Perhaps he was a Ghostbuster and was using spirit vision to monitor the gaggle of slimers that were gathering around you. That happened to me in Costa.

sporina

i don't really care what his issue was as long as he doesn't do it again - if he does I'll pull him up on it.. (but I won't mention it to who ever i'm with - people are nearly always uncomfortable with customer complaints which is a pity - regardless of how assertively they are executed)

BnB

I had a similar experience today actually. I was at work waitin' tables, taking orders..the usual craic... This chick was staring at me for ages. I tried to ignore her and just get on with my job (we get all sorts in here, I used to it).

Anyway, eventually I was walking past her and after her numerous attempts to get my attention by staring at me had failed.. She grabbed my arm..

"Do we know each other" sez she as she fluttered her eyes at me..

Not knowing her from focking Adam, I mumbled..."well I used to work up the road in another cafe"...

"Ohhh do you remember me from there..." she gleefully quipped like a lovesick school girl...

"No" I said, hoping she'd get the hint

She didn't...!!!! She babbled on for half an hour about how nice it was to be out while my boss was glaring at me from behind the counter.

Kerrist on a bike, I should never have left my custhy job in the sewerage treatment plant...!!!!

sporina

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118543046#Comment_118543046

clever post.. but are you a nice person? huh

BnB

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118543110#Comment_118543110

Probably not to be honest with you

freshpopcorn

Maybe he was waiting to see would your friend eat your half eaten food. You might be known for it in the area.

sporina

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118543439#Comment_118543439

well at least your honest - a lot to be said for that