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Eden Heaslip

  • 19-01-2022 7:31pm
    Registered Users Posts: 3,312 ✭✭✭ SuperBowserWorld

    Really angry and mad about this.

    And all the bullying that still goes on and bullies and their parents and social media companies getting away with it and having absolutely no morals.

    And how can this still go unnoticed by schools ?

    Bullying is too light a word for this. I probably can't say what I think it is.

    How/why does it have to come to this, in so called enlightened Ireland, well into the 21st century.



  • Registered Users Posts: 27,493 ✭✭✭✭ whelan2

    Coco's law might be of help. Bullying has always gone on but with social media posts can be read and reread. Hiding behind a keyboard.

  • Registered Users Posts: 34,300 ✭✭✭✭ Gatling

    Langley, Virginia

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  • Registered Users Posts: 99 ✭✭ Cdemess

    a very sad story. Surely as the young man was 18 his bullies should been taken to trail. They’re not children anymore. Maybe parents need to put a boot up their kids backside and put manners on them.

    Post edited by Cdemess on

  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 17,715 CMod ✭✭✭✭ The Black Oil

    Awful to watch this last night, unimaginable what his family have been through.

  • Registered Users Posts: 29,225 ✭✭✭✭ gmisk

    Wow that is an incredibly moving story. Absolutely heartbreaking. Surely some of the responsibility for this has to be laid at the doors of the school?

    His poor family.

    I hope the f#ckers who bullied him are haunted by this for the rest of their lives. In small places word tends to get around.

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  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]

    Bullying is all too common in Irish schools. My own niece was tormented from the end of primary school and carried into secondary school. Some of the things said to her I would describe as vicious. Thankfully we caught it and things have improved. She is an incredibly strong young lady and it bounces off her now but I do keep an eye on her. I know it's not all social medias fault but it's a scourge with young people.

    We live close to the family. It tears small communities apart.

  • Registered Users Posts: 522 ✭✭✭ Newbie20

    While that’s exactly what should happen, unfortunately an awful lot of parents these days go on the defensive and just won’t accept that their kids are doing wrong.

    With that poor lad that died, the bullies should be up for murder, simple as that. It’s crazy that they can get away scot free. As was said above, if that was a friend or family member of mine I think I’d have to take the law into my own hands.

  • Registered Users Posts: 20,401 ✭✭✭✭ Tell me how

    There's a lot of threads on Boards at the moment with overlapping themes. The dominant view on the thread relating to the tragic event in Tullamore is that no one has the right to suggest that men collectively bear any responsibility for an environment where women feel unsafe, or experience unpleasant interactions with men.

    On the thread about proposed legislation to do with hate speech, the dominant view is that is is unnecessary and will create more problems than it will fix.

    And now this story, I saw a short clip of Eden's father talking and in it he said that Eden told him it was never just one person who attacked him, it was always more than one or a group. A huge part of this type of bullying is what examples are set amongst peers and in fact, it is probable that at times some people end up bullying others because of peer pressure, where they are either directed to do something or just do so as to not become the target.

    And the example this sets amongst kids does impact the adults they grow up to be and the society in which they all live (that is why the conversation overlaps with the other threads).

    But what to do about it? Is there any simple answer, schools can hold some responsibility as to how they act but they certainly can't stop or identify all bullying that goes on not to mention how so much of it can now happen outside of school or through social media. I will likely not have children of my own and while that bothers me in plenty ways, one way it doesn't is not having to worry about the absolute minefield that is introducing your kids to social media and keeping them safe. I have no idea how anyone should approach it without either having your child miss out on what is a significant interface through which they will have to be able to operate as adults or having them exposed to content and the whims of others that they just won't be ready for.

    If the threads I mentioned indicated a general willingness to do what we can for the society we live in, I would think that a message of never tolerating bullying even if we aren't involved would be more likely to possible to communicate that to children so that issues could be identified sooner and there wouldn't be a stigma of not wanting to be the one to highlight something is wrong, but when so many people react with the view that 'It's not my problem, don't expect me to do a thing to fix it', how can we expect children be given an appropriate example by which to follow?

    The cat is long out of the box when it comes to the internet, that it grew with anonymity as a given is a problem in many ways (as well as some positives). Maybe if people had to register their identity with a body/group and any personality/account they created online had to use a token from that site, there could be traceability in the case of inappropriate behaviour which police forces could access should they need to while still giving the user anonymity in the movement it would be some sort of a solution, but it would take massive buy in and engagement from social media platforms and other sites for something like this to come in now and I'm not sure that it would be possible.

    I knew a man who lost his young daughter in a same way after she was bullied online, and much the same as the tragedy of Aisling Murphy, for every event with the ultimate horrific outcome, there are many thousand stories that started out in the same way.

    The solution to these issues need to be as much societal as they do legislative or through assigning responsibility.

  • Registered Users Posts: 34,300 ✭✭✭✭ Gatling

    @tellme schools can hold some responsibility as to how they act but they certainly can't stop or identify all bullying that goes on not to mention how so much of it can now happen outside of school or through social media....

    Schools , principles and board of management deny it's happening at all ,most schools will come out and say that there is NO bullying going on in there school ,that they are aware of ....

    Till schools are held accountable nothing will change ,they are complicit in the death by suicide of hundreds of students , along with the mental health damage to thousands of people into adulthood..

    Talking ,more policies ,more focus on minorities ,more focus on people who don't conform ,all while driving division in students and allowing others to be tortured daily because a child or children don't tick a particular box of one or another group ...

    Principles need to lose posts and careers if they have been found to be ignoring bullying .

    Community guards should routinely call to schools and speak to kids who have been physically bullied and let them know there will be consequences for people who have assaulted them, parents should able to seek protection orders to force schools to stop known bullies having access to victims.

    Social media should not be an excuse it can't be policed ,make it a school policy that bullying will cover social media which in turn should be dealt with by the Gardai .

    Langley, Virginia

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  • Registered Users Posts: 20,401 ✭✭✭✭ Tell me how

    I think they can hold some responsibility, I am aware of schools that do. But there are many different levels to being bullied and some of it can be very subjective. Say one child is constantly ignored, left to play on their own, made fun of etc.

    That can be as harmful as physical abuse, and much harder to act upon. Not to mention what happens over social media, even if during school time, do you think parents would be ok with teachers/schools getting involved to that level?

    The instance I referred to above where a young girl took her own life, that was done via a social media platform by people she went to school with, but it was being done outside of school.

    Schools play a role, but they are only one part of this and society needs to show its interest in stopping bullying more than just demanding schools are responsible for all of it that happens on their property.

  • Registered Users Posts: 34,300 ✭✭✭✭ Gatling

    It starts in schools and they ignore and are happy to claim they have a robust anti bullying policies ,

    Bullshit they post copy and paste Jobs on school websites.

    But they no issues with bullying in there school and all the children are happy and friends.

    Schools and parents enable it and every Bully is the apple of mammies or daddie eyes and the other child doesn't understand that they are only messing and playing.

    So nobody has responsibility but blame the parents of the children who are getting bullied for allowing them have access to the internet

    Langley, Virginia

  • Registered Users Posts: 168 ✭✭ bejeezus

    Post edited by bejeezus on

  • Registered Users Posts: 20,401 ✭✭✭✭ Tell me how

    Lets be clear, whatever about anyone else, I'm not blaming the parents of bullied kids for giving their children access to the internet.

    You seem to think schools are ignoring the problem, I've experience of schools being very proactive and still the problem exists.

    I also don't necessarily think it starts in schools as a definitive statement, of course it is a problem there given how much time children spend there, and inevitably it starts there in some instances. But I know of a number of instances where it started in sports clubs.

    Some kids are inclined to bully and they will take opportunities to do that whether it is in schools, clubs, teams, or in their own home. Its way more complicated than just blaming schools for all of it.

  • Registered Users Posts: 7,648 ✭✭✭ Quantum Erasure

    yeah, Catholics really need to step up, we need to do better to make Ireland a safer place for protestants to live in, if there's ever going to be any chance of a united ireland

  • I was very struck by this. I feel such hurt for that young man and his family. I feel hatred and rage towards the perpetrators.

    My kids are both under six. I'm increasingly worried about what to do when the inevitable request to engage in social media is made in a few years.

    Right now, my thinking is that I won't let them have any social media accounts at all until they're 18. They will be completely contraband. Social media is a cancer generally, but is particularly dangerous for teenagers and I can't think of a single positive thing that a teen could gain from any social media app, quite frankly.

    It's also hard for me to think of a suitable punishment for the bullies who destroy people's lives and morale through FB, TikTok, Snapchat etc. But I would veer towards an Old Testament style of retribution for crimes like that, which amount to nothing less than psychological torture.

  • Registered Users Posts: 21,874 ✭✭✭✭ Strumms

    I think schools and Gardai need to empower young people in particular to seek help and that the Gardai will have their backs…. That can only happen if accountability exists. The law and its enforcers need to be more wiling and accessible to stick up for victims of bullying.. Gardai and the criminal justice system are not and are accountable to nobody…

    bullying now seems to be an absolute epidemic in life… in educational settings, work settings even recently in another healthcare setting I witnessed it… personally….there literally is zero deterrent…

    to stop evil and malevolence like it there needs to be a deterrent…the law on paper… is to an extent ok, however … the non enforcement of it, however makes it literally not worth the paper it’s written on…

    these fûcking mental heathers whose opinions we are force fed ad nauseam seem to value the needs wants and health of the perpetrators more then their victims… we need to tune these amateurs out of social media, all media in fact out of life full stop…. and get back our focus towards helping the innocent…the victims..

    young people who are misguided can receive a caution which isn’t a criminal record…..that’s a slap on the wrist… at it again…. Charge…Court…Convict…Sentence…. Fûck em…

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  • Registered Users Posts: 20,401 ✭✭✭✭ Tell me how

    But I would veer towards an Old Testament style of retribution for crimes like that, which amount to nothing less than psychological torture.

    That's part of the crux of this, the motivation to react to someone who hurts your loved one enough for them to end their life is to inflict pain on them, but the message children need to be given is that inflicting pain on to others is never a solution. It's not as simple as saying they deserve to have it done to them because of what they did, if they see adults inflicting pain on others, they're going to rationalise in their own heads that they can as well.