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Eden Heaslip

SuperBowserWorld

Really angry and mad about this.

And all the bullying that still goes on and bullies and their parents and social media companies getting away with it and having absolutely no morals.

And how can this still go unnoticed by schools ?

Bullying is too light a word for this. I probably can't say what I think it is.

How/why does it have to come to this, in so called enlightened Ireland, well into the 21st century.

https://www.rte.ie/news/primetime/2022/0118/1274478-eden-heaslip-cavan-bullying/

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sonic85

And all the boyos got away with it and are probably going around laughing about it. To even send messages after he died - I don't think scumbag is a harsh enough word to describe them. What the hell is wrong with people?

Could the Gardai go after his tormentors for something or is it just too late?

whelan2

Coco's law might be of help. Bullying has always gone on but with social media posts can be read and reread. Hiding behind a keyboard.

Gatling

There's thousands getting bullied in our primary and secondary schools day in and day out, thousands have committed suicide Because of relentless bullying , schools deny it's happening , teachers turn a blind eye because they know that their hands are tied and the parents of the children who are bullying don't give two **** ,

Another new bullying initive is being pushed geared towards protecting trans and gender non conforming children from being bullied ,

But how about actually trying to protect all children from bullying ,make it a criminal offense for schools and principles not to inform the Gardai when a child has been repeatedly assaulted,

The department and minister of education should be held to account when Children have suffered repeated assaults and were not protected

Gatling

Hellrazer

The difference nowadays is that the bullying continues after the school gates have closed with social media etc.

When I was in secondary school the bullying while it was still happening didnt continue into the night.

Two of my kids have been bullied repeatedly in secondary school and Ive posted about this before - My oldest was handed razor blades by a scumbag and told to kill herself - nest day he handed her a rope with a noose in it and said maybe try that because the razors didnt work.

Do you know what the school told me?

They couldnt do anything because this scumbags parents were " major contributors " to the school. Only way I could sort that was by basically telling the principal that I was going to handle it myself. So I waited one day outside to confront the scumbag...That put a stop to it.

My youngest was a victim only last November - again the school said they were "descalating" the issue and "talking" to this pupil...in reality doing nothing. Principals dont want to know or just choose to ignore the issue - well at least in my experience.

On this occasion I told the principal to call an ambulance and the garda - The ambulance was for the pupil that beat my daughter up and the garda was for me.

Someone needs to stand up to these scum.

Cdemess

a very sad story. Surely as the young man was 18 his bullies should been taken to trail. They’re not children anymore. Maybe parents need to put a boot up their kids backside and put manners on them.

The Black Oil

Awful to watch this last night, unimaginable what his family have been through.

jellybear

I read this article yesterday and was in tears throughout. That poor young man and his poor family. His life lost and theirs irreparably damaged. Absolutely heartbreaking to think something like this can go on for so long and ultimately led to Eden taking his own life. I really am truly sorry for his family's loss.

Furze99

Shocking account if you take everything as read. I suppose you might wonder why he was kept in school if he was that unhappy but that'd also be looking back in hindsight.

One thing really struck me, the lad was badgered with being 'a black Protestant' and told to go back to his own country. That Cavan school and those parents of these bullies need to root that mentality out and stamp it on the head pronto.

What the hope is there ever for a united Ireland by consent if the kids of Cavan and presumably other border counties are so filled with sectarian bile like this? Shame on them :(

gmisk

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058228868/eden-heaslip

Wow that is an incredibly moving story. Absolutely heartbreaking. Surely some of the responsibility for this has to be laid at the doors of the school?

His poor family.

I hope the f#ckers who bullied him are haunted by this for the rest of their lives. In small places word tends to get around.

[Deleted User]

Bullying is all too common in Irish schools. My own niece was tormented from the end of primary school and carried into secondary school. Some of the things said to her I would describe as vicious. Thankfully we caught it and things have improved. She is an incredibly strong young lady and it bounces off her now but I do keep an eye on her. I know it's not all social medias fault but it's a scourge with young people.

We live close to the family. It tears small communities apart.

Eircom_Sucks

as a 41 year old man who used to be bullied alot when i was younger this makes my blood boil

contact snapchat or whatever social media platform he was bullied on and and out who these little scumbags are and prosecute them and their parents for spawning these scrotes

they should never get away with this ever , his life is gone end of , and for what ??? **** and giggles ? i'd take the law into my own hands if that was my boy

enough is enough in this country

gmisk

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118501953#Comment_118501953

Really sorry to hear this has happened to your kids. Absolutely shocking. You did the right thing confronting it head on, it is the best action imo. The school have behaved appallingly, I wouldn't let it drop.

I was bullied once at school, it still sticks in my head now and I am 40. I was happy go lucky for pretty much all of my time in school bar a few months when this big fat fecker bullied me (he was close to 6 foot I was about 5'5..). I wasn't a kid I was 15, I broke down my parents went absolutely bloody spare, my mum went over to their house, within 30 minutes the other kid and his parents were in our front room. His parents were absolutely mortified, he was in floods of tears....my mum ripped him apart.

The bullying ended right there, he avoided me like the plague for 3 years.

Newbie20

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118502595#Comment_118502595

While that’s exactly what should happen, unfortunately an awful lot of parents these days go on the defensive and just won’t accept that their kids are doing wrong.

With that poor lad that died, the bullies should be up for murder, simple as that. It’s crazy that they can get away scot free. As was said above, if that was a friend or family member of mine I think I’d have to take the law into my own hands.

Tell me how

There's a lot of threads on Boards at the moment with overlapping themes. The dominant view on the thread relating to the tragic event in Tullamore is that no one has the right to suggest that men collectively bear any responsibility for an environment where women feel unsafe, or experience unpleasant interactions with men.

On the thread about proposed legislation to do with hate speech, the dominant view is that is is unnecessary and will create more problems than it will fix.

And now this story, I saw a short clip of Eden's father talking and in it he said that Eden told him it was never just one person who attacked him, it was always more than one or a group. A huge part of this type of bullying is what examples are set amongst peers and in fact, it is probable that at times some people end up bullying others because of peer pressure, where they are either directed to do something or just do so as to not become the target.

And the example this sets amongst kids does impact the adults they grow up to be and the society in which they all live (that is why the conversation overlaps with the other threads).

But what to do about it? Is there any simple answer, schools can hold some responsibility as to how they act but they certainly can't stop or identify all bullying that goes on not to mention how so much of it can now happen outside of school or through social media. I will likely not have children of my own and while that bothers me in plenty ways, one way it doesn't is not having to worry about the absolute minefield that is introducing your kids to social media and keeping them safe. I have no idea how anyone should approach it without either having your child miss out on what is a significant interface through which they will have to be able to operate as adults or having them exposed to content and the whims of others that they just won't be ready for.

If the threads I mentioned indicated a general willingness to do what we can for the society we live in, I would think that a message of never tolerating bullying even if we aren't involved would be more likely to possible to communicate that to children so that issues could be identified sooner and there wouldn't be a stigma of not wanting to be the one to highlight something is wrong, but when so many people react with the view that 'It's not my problem, don't expect me to do a thing to fix it', how can we expect children be given an appropriate example by which to follow?

The cat is long out of the box when it comes to the internet, that it grew with anonymity as a given is a problem in many ways (as well as some positives). Maybe if people had to register their identity with a body/group and any personality/account they created online had to use a token from that site, there could be traceability in the case of inappropriate behaviour which police forces could access should they need to while still giving the user anonymity in the movement it would be some sort of a solution, but it would take massive buy in and engagement from social media platforms and other sites for something like this to come in now and I'm not sure that it would be possible.

I knew a man who lost his young daughter in a same way after she was bullied online, and much the same as the tragedy of Aisling Murphy, for every event with the ultimate horrific outcome, there are many thousand stories that started out in the same way.

The solution to these issues need to be as much societal as they do legislative or through assigning responsibility.

Gatling

@tellme schools can hold some responsibility as to how they act but they certainly can't stop or identify all bullying that goes on not to mention how so much of it can now happen outside of school or through social media....

Schools , principles and board of management deny it's happening at all ,most schools will come out and say that there is NO bullying going on in there school ,that they are aware of ....

Till schools are held accountable nothing will change ,they are complicit in the death by suicide of hundreds of students , along with the mental health damage to thousands of people into adulthood..

Talking ,more policies ,more focus on minorities ,more focus on people who don't conform ,all while driving division in students and allowing others to be tortured daily because a child or children don't tick a particular box of one or another group ...

Principles need to lose posts and careers if they have been found to be ignoring bullying .

Community guards should routinely call to schools and speak to kids who have been physically bullied and let them know there will be consequences for people who have assaulted them, parents should able to seek protection orders to force schools to stop known bullies having access to victims.

Social media should not be an excuse it can't be policed ,make it a school policy that bullying will cover social media which in turn should be dealt with by the Gardai .

fryup

I'd hate to be a kid in school nowadays it was bad enough back in the day but at least it finished come the final bell, as previously mentioned bullying these days is 24/7 with the internet and smartphones - the stress that would bring on a young fragile mind is unthinkable - god help them😔

NiceFella

I went to school in finglas within the last 15 years and I was maybe picked once or twice. I was a person who just kept the head down innocuous enough. I knew some others who were bullied more regularly but have to say there were limits. Even the worst bullies in my school showed mercy and knew when to pull it in.

So when I hear this I'm thinking wow, some of these kids haven't an ounce of empathy in them to do something like this. Its psychotic almost. That's the shocking thing. I think social media has made some kids a bit loopy. I'd hate to be growing up now, in this day and age. So tough to have to deal with.

I think society in general has to take a no nonsense approach to bullying and I mean everyone that sees it should take a stand against it. Root it out completely.

Yurt2

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118503532#Comment_118503532

If someone was subjected to physical bullying in the workplace as an adult as this poor young lad was in school, there would be no way that the perpetrator would be allowed access to the victim, yet bullied children and teenagers at a crucial developmental stage are expected to tolerate seeing the person who assaulted them day in and day out.

The secondary school I went to was a zoo with bullying rife. Looking back, it was preposterous some of the stuff that went on without proper intervention from the management. It was written off as youthful horseplay instead of the deeply damaging to some kids phenomenon it was - and was apparently best solved with a handshake watched over by the principal as if both parties were having a disagreement over the price of turnips.

I recently had an intervention for a friend who is a big-time alcoholic and is drinking himself into an early grave. After a heart-to-heart with him, he revealed the bullying he was subjected to in the school he went to 'broke him' (his words).

The Department of Education should have a regional response team of psychologists and counselors to cover the country to intervene in schools that have allowed bullying to get out of hand.

markodaly

The sectarian aspect of this case is also very troubling. It's 2022 and kids using 'Prods' as a pejorative is upsetting.

Tell me how

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118503532#Comment_118503532

I think they can hold some responsibility, I am aware of schools that do. But there are many different levels to being bullied and some of it can be very subjective. Say one child is constantly ignored, left to play on their own, made fun of etc.

That can be as harmful as physical abuse, and much harder to act upon. Not to mention what happens over social media, even if during school time, do you think parents would be ok with teachers/schools getting involved to that level?

The instance I referred to above where a young girl took her own life, that was done via a social media platform by people she went to school with, but it was being done outside of school.

Schools play a role, but they are only one part of this and society needs to show its interest in stopping bullying more than just demanding schools are responsible for all of it that happens on their property.

Gatling

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118503823#Comment_118503823

It starts in schools and they ignore and are happy to claim they have a robust anti bullying policies ,

Bullshit they post copy and paste Jobs on school websites.

But they no issues with bullying in there school and all the children are happy and friends.

Schools and parents enable it and every Bully is the apple of mammies or daddie eyes and the other child doesn't understand that they are only messing and playing.

So nobody has responsibility but blame the parents of the children who are getting bullied for allowing them have access to the internet

AyeGer

How can people be so cruel, its a complete mystery to me. Some people are just awful and these bullies certainly are awful people.

bejeezus

Tell me how

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118503871#Comment_118503871

Lets be clear, whatever about anyone else, I'm not blaming the parents of bullied kids for giving their children access to the internet.

You seem to think schools are ignoring the problem, I've experience of schools being very proactive and still the problem exists.

I also don't necessarily think it starts in schools as a definitive statement, of course it is a problem there given how much time children spend there, and inevitably it starts there in some instances. But I know of a number of instances where it started in sports clubs.

Some kids are inclined to bully and they will take opportunities to do that whether it is in schools, clubs, teams, or in their own home. Its way more complicated than just blaming schools for all of it.

Immortal Starlight

I heard about the television show that featured poor Edens story last night and couldn’t believe it. Then I read it on the news today and I was filled with shock horror and revulsion. To see the photos of that lovely young man and to think what he suffered in his short life is absolutely heartbreaking. To think that when he went into the town in his parents car that he would stay in the car because he was too nervous to get out is just unbelievably sad. Something has to be done to stop this happening. It’s outrageous that even after Eden had died the bullies were still sending messages to his account. It’s mad that they could hunt that lovely child to his grave and get away with it. May Eden Rest In Peace.

Quantum Erasure

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118502560#Comment_118502560

yeah, Catholics really need to step up, we need to do better to make Ireland a safer place for protestants to live in, if there's ever going to be any chance of a united ireland

[Deleted User]

I was very struck by this. I feel such hurt for that young man and his family. I feel hatred and rage towards the perpetrators.

My kids are both under six. I'm increasingly worried about what to do when the inevitable request to engage in social media is made in a few years.

Right now, my thinking is that I won't let them have any social media accounts at all until they're 18. They will be completely contraband. Social media is a cancer generally, but is particularly dangerous for teenagers and I can't think of a single positive thing that a teen could gain from any social media app, quite frankly.

It's also hard for me to think of a suitable punishment for the bullies who destroy people's lives and morale through FB, TikTok, Snapchat etc. But I would veer towards an Old Testament style of retribution for crimes like that, which amount to nothing less than psychological torture.

Strumms

I think schools and Gardai need to empower young people in particular to seek help and that the Gardai will have their backs…. That can only happen if accountability exists. The law and its enforcers need to be more wiling and accessible to stick up for victims of bullying.. Gardai and the criminal justice system are not and are accountable to nobody…

bullying now seems to be an absolute epidemic in life… in educational settings, work settings even recently in another healthcare setting I witnessed it… personally….there literally is zero deterrent…

to stop evil and malevolence like it there needs to be a deterrent…the law on paper… is to an extent ok, however … the non enforcement of it, however makes it literally not worth the paper it’s written on…

these fûcking mental heathers whose opinions we are force fed ad nauseam seem to value the needs wants and health of the perpetrators more then their victims… we need to tune these amateurs out of social media, all media in fact out of life full stop…. and get back our focus towards helping the innocent…the victims..

young people who are misguided can receive a caution which isn’t a criminal record…..that’s a slap on the wrist… at it again…. Charge…Court…Convict…Sentence…. Fûck em…

Tell me how

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118504013#Comment_118504013

But I would veer towards an Old Testament style of retribution for crimes like that, which amount to nothing less than psychological torture.

That's part of the crux of this, the motivation to react to someone who hurts your loved one enough for them to end their life is to inflict pain on them, but the message children need to be given is that inflicting pain on to others is never a solution. It's not as simple as saying they deserve to have it done to them because of what they did, if they see adults inflicting pain on others, they're going to rationalise in their own heads that they can as well.