Trying to force the sale of my house with ex

maestroamado

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118497339#Comment_118497339

I know a lady who sold a house about 2 years ago for €250k solicitor about 1k... she was a former tax inspector in revenue and called a fer solicitors and agreed.... conveyance pretty straightforard if you have the property deeds...

JimmyMW

This whole situation seams mental, two people separate and there is enough equity in the property for both to split and move on with their lives with a reasonable standard of living and this is not seen as the proper way forward by our legal system/state. This country needs a serious overhaul if that is the way this goes.

maestroamado

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118504958#Comment_118504958

What legal system are you referring to... there is not a legal system in this country...

XsApollo

you really need to go to court to let the judge decide that their is enough equity in the house to let both people move on.

the fact she has to pay half the mortgage suggests she isn’t broke.

also to the op.

if I was in your shoes I would stop paying the mortgage and go and set yourself up with somewhere to live and get your life back in order so you can then move on with your child.

get your place and life.

you will then have a cost of your own to live and be in a better position in court.

this woman sounds like she don’t give a crap about you or her child, the fact that she lets the situation go like this suggests she really doesn’t care how her child feels.

stop paying the mortgage get a place of your own and then revisit it in court.

you won’t be made pay what you don’t have.

you need a place to be able to see your child, so go get one.

always remember that your ex could give ye both a good life and happy life for her , yourself and your child if she agreed to sell up so ye could both get a place and have 2 Homes for her and your child to enjoy and have both parents.

she chooses not to and chooses herself.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118504958#Comment_118504958

We only have one side of the story. The only way there’s €200,000 equity in the house is if there was a huge deposit paid or it’s increased by that amount since mortgage was taken out. Otherwise, if the property is only worth €200,000 and say €100,000 still owed on the mortgage, then they’ll only get €50,000 each. That’s not taking the child into consideration and it may need a home for another 10+ years.

JimmyMW

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118505054#Comment_118505054

Both rent, ownership is not a right

TheWonderLlama

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118501376#Comment_118501376

well, there's your problem right there. Get a solicitor right now.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118504660#Comment_118504660

Allowing the mortgage to fall into arrears to force a bank repossession could take years.

And if it does go into arrears, that leads to the question (if anyone can answer it) - will that make it difficult/impossible for the OP to secure another mortgage? How will it affect his credit rating?

The Courts can't order a bank to accept 50% payments from the OP (just like they can't order a bank to remove someone's name from a mortgage).

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118505392#Comment_118505392

No judge will order the home sold, to force them into renting where there is a minor involved.

€100k each wouldn't buy them each a new apartment, (at least, not in Dublin). The cheapest two bed apartment on DAFT at the moment is circa €180k.

We also don't know if the mother is in the position to get another mortgage either. (finance/credit rating).

And before you say "this is all unfair" - yes it is.

But it is what the Judge will consider where there is a child.

spaceHopper

You need to talk to a solicitor, their first meeting might be free or a few hundred euros.

Do not under any circumstances stop paying the mortgage. Get legal advice first but you could look at going interest only for while but the bank needs to agree to this. If you stop paying the mortgage you do two things, you destroy your credit rating and won't easily be able to get a mortgage. You destroy her rating, so now she can't get a mortgage but she is in the house so she will simply stay there and blame you.

You will not solve this without getting legal advice and you will lose much much more the longer you delay getting legal advice.

Dav010

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118504660#Comment_118504660

And if the op applies for another loan?

willdill

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118505054#Comment_118505054

150k owed house worth 350k

JimmyVik

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118527914#Comment_118527914

That kind of equity could give both of you a new start.

Smouse156

Probably best to stop paying the mortgage until she starts to contribute. The risk of the bank trying to repossess would likely get her to pony up

Dav010

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118533869#Comment_118533869

And wreck his chances of getting another home loan in the process.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118533819#Comment_118533819

Not so simple when there’s a child involved.

JimmyVik

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118534080#Comment_118534080

As the child of a broken home where my mother used us as weapons I thing the best option here is a total split. Obviously the courts will have the child stay with the mother no matter what happens and that may be for the best but seperating the lives of the warring parents is the best thing to do for any child.

To stop the war both must be allowed to move on with their lives. And then they can both concentrate on giving the child some sort of a settled life where the parents arent pitted against each other.

Black Noel

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118498116#Comment_118498116

The child should be left were s/he is and the parents can stay in the house on a week on, week off basis.

That'll be a bit of a shock for herself 😃

Black Noel

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118505509#Comment_118505509

Lol, solicitors are wolves looking for sheep to gobble up.

Friend and his sis are at war over property, the only thing any of the solicitors are interested in is selling the property. He's taking the sis to the High Court by himself.

TheWonderLlama

well then, he will fail.

High court judges do not entertain fools, whatever his motivation and by going into court without a solicitor, your mate is a fool.

Smouse156

True, for a few years but he’s currently living in a shed and she’s totally uncooperative. Naturally better if solicitor could work something out but in Ireland totally unlikely.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118534863#Comment_118534863

In a more amicable situation, that does actually have some success and is becoming popular in other countries.

It's called "bird-nesting parenting" and is very child centered - the children do not have to get used to splitting their time between two separate homes, the parents do.

A small small second property is either bought or rented (a studio or even a one bed) and the parents rotate in and out of the childrens' home, so the children get to spend time with each parent equally without having to leave their home / friends / schools.

Unfortunately, property costs / rent would put it out of reach of most separated couples in this country. Plus it takes two parents totally committed to the wellbeing of their children above all, to make it work.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118502071#Comment_118502071

There are a lot of nasty, vindictive women using the Family Home Protection Act to continue inflicting a wide range of abuses against men, but the chance of this reality being acknowledged by Irish politicians is less than slim. It's all about control, and plenty of false allegations bolster their position.

In a huge number of cases both parents could get decent homes, but Irish law insists that women will have a right to stay in a much better family home, while the man is sent to a bedsit in flatland never having a right to provide a home for his children in his own home. And nobody in Irish political life will speak up about this very widespread abuse, which is legalised in Irish law. The whole law operates on the notion that Irishwomen are poor stay-at-home mothers from about the year 1950 and they need protection - no matter the reality of most solicitors, accountants and many others in 2022 being women.

A ECHR case against Ireland is long overdue.

daithi7

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119256566#Comment_119256566

Hear, hear.

The inequality in Irish law against men, and fathers, in particular is woeful imho.

And this legalised prejudice is played on daily in the family law courts by some women & their lawyers. It's a complete disgrace in Ireland in the 2020s.

Op , get legal representation, haul her up for defying a court order at your expense, and this should at least help you to get a better place to live and to bring your child to.

@[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119256566#Comment_119256566

Sorry, but you have made some wide sweeping generalisations and factually inaccurate statements here.

"Irish law insists that women will have a right to stay in a much better family home, while the man is sent to a bedsit in flatland never having a right to provide a home for his children1976in his own home."

This is inaccurate. Nowhere in the Family Home Protection Act 1976 does it insist that a mother has more right to remain in the family home after separation, than a father.

In fact, if you read the Act, the words "mother" "father" "wife" or "husband" don't even appear anywhere in the text. The word that does appear, is the gender neutral term "spouse".

Nor can you say "in a huge number of cases both parents can get decent homes". Do you have an official source for this? The in-camera rule prevents reporting of family law cases. The inner financial dealings of separating couples are confidential. I'd say its rare both halves of a couple leave a relationship on an equal financial footing.

Now you can say that you believe the courts too often rule unfairly in preference of mothers. But not that the law itself favours mothers over fathers.

I've read you're threads, @[Deleted User] and I know you're frustrated by it all. But you're going down rabbit holes.

o1s1n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118534911#Comment_118534911

All solicitors are not one and the same. Tell your mate to shop around until he finds one he trusts.

Anyone who goes to the high court by themselves without representation is an absolute idiot and is set to lose everything.

Dempo1

A very tragic and sadly all to common problem OP.

I'm no legal expert but can share my very best friends near 15 year battle not unlike yours.

Firstly it's highly unlikely any Judge will force a sale whilst there's a child involved (my friend has two daughters in late teens when breakdown occured) . He moved out and absolutely adhered to his responsibilities regarding maintaince, paying mortgage entirely and maintaining property for 10 years.

There's was court arrangements in place, wife worked P/T and in essence contributed nothing nor adhere to a contribution to mortgage etc or a number of court mandated agreements.

My friend maintained his part of the agreements in place but it became unsustainable. When Daughters reached 18, they attended college etc and finally my friend sought agreement on house being sold but understood daughters would be dependent until 23/24. The nastyness got to a stage were to Court had to intervene, various orders against wife and an instruction house was to be sold. It dragged on with various subtle obstacles thrown in the way, refusing viewings etc, disputes on valuations etc, this incidently after Daughters had completed studies.

My friend remarkably remained calm used proper legal recourse, documented everything and the Judge actually commended him. It actually also involved a contempt of court order against the now ex wife.

It took an enormous toll on my friend, both his daughters turned aflgainst him but I'm glad to say he's in a much better place now and re developing a relationship with is daughters.

House was sold almost 15 years to the day the marriage broke down.

There was Children involved, there was a Marriage And Joint mortgage.

Whilst incredibly painful to watch what occurred, eventually house sold and all and any monies owed (un paid) by wife were taken from her share of proceeds. My friend recouped most of what he was owed but not all. It took a long time yes but I'd be dishonest in trying to tell you this will be straight forward.

You need an experienced family law solicitor, they'll in turn brief a Barrister, there'll be numerous court hearings, you need to remain very focused, document everything and if necessary have court orders enforced. But ultimately I'd be skeptical a house sale will be forced if there's a child involved and whilst easy for me to say, try remain focussed, it will eventually resolve itself, it's going to be very difficult but it will resolve itself but in time. Do not expect a quick resolution and prepare yourself.

I wish you well OP