Can girls make the first move in this day and age?

sure_look_it

I've always been passive with fellas. My mom and older sisters would say things like "if a man wants you, you'll know" etc, when I was growing up. Thing is, it's 2022. Part of me really wants to strike up a conversation with one lad in particular. But another part of me says men love the chase, so I never do. I tell myself if a fella isn't chasing he must have zilch interest. Is this some Victorian thinking or is it true I have to sit there looking pretty and praying someone I want wants me and makes this known?

And yeah, there's one fella in particular I'm thinking of. Have caught him looking at me once or twice in each lecture (Final year college students) and he volunteered to send me notes twice when I was missing lectures. Yet he's never approached me in real life. Just a hi if we run into each other on campus. And we matched on Tinder once. And he's messaged me for notes three times. Part of me wants to sit beside him and flirt. But another part of me says that's desparate and I have to wait and assume he's uninterested if he doesn't approach.

SCOOP 64

Yes, girls should make the first move too if they have a interest in a fella, don't see anything wrong with it, there are plenty of shy men out there too ,actually don't think i would be with my wife today if she didn't make the first move🙂

No waiting around, life is too short.

LessOutragePlz

It takes two, to the pave the road to pound town, and it won't happen if neither of you make the first move!

Pawwed Rig

Take some control in your life and go for it

Strumms

Girls do nowadays.

fryup

Well you know, the way things are going i think lasses will have to make the first move cause with the atmosphere these last few days i reckon most guys would be too wary to even look at a woman nevermind ask her out😐️

(my twopenceworth)

NSAman

Only girls can make the first move nowadays, young lads are too frightened of being labelled as a predator, misogynist, or a violent toxic male for asking someone to dance.

cj maxx

Just YES. If you like someone, make a move .

aisling0800

I'm surprised that the younger generation in Ireland is still shackled by traditional gender norms like the man asking woman out, men shouldn't cry etc..

I know gender norms aren't purely cultural and are influenced to some degree by biology, but things like these are silly. The Scandinavians seem to be much more egalitarian when it comes to this stuff.

sure_look_it

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118478118#Comment_118478118

Yeah.

Part of me wants to throw caution to the wind and flirt and see what happens. Rejection would hurt but I think I'll take a sure fire no and some embarrassment over sitting pretty and hoping something happens.

lucalux

Honestly if you really like someone, it's worth the effort/fear that goes along with asking them out.

I'm a woman who has used this tactic over the years, but I would often fight with myself because of the standardised methods of courtship - if I approach a guy - does he think I'm easy ( fairly common) or does he think i'm desperate ("commonish") so it's not as egailtarian as you might expect it to be, people are much more judgemental on how a woman approaches a man as opposed to a man approaching a woman etc

lucalux

Zak Flaps

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058228085/can-girls-make-the-first-move-in-this-day-and-age

Go for it. I would be delighted if a girl made the first move.

irishguitarlad

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118478118#Comment_118478118

Here in Spain it's very bad, women never approach men. I find that it's better in Ireland and you're probably right in saying that in Scandinavia it's better again.

Mad_maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058228085/can-girls-make-the-first-move-in-this-day-and-age

Fellas will be terrified of smiling at a lady the way things are going

SouthWesterly

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118478026#Comment_118478026

Your not wrong. Just look at the news the last few days. Every man, especially if he's walking behind you, is out to kill or rape you.

It's horrendous what we are putting up with.

Mad_maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118478672#Comment_118478672

Yes but do Spanish women mind being approached ?

Irish women don't, this was never America where guys randomly ask women out on dates

AckwelFoley

I've regularly been chatted up by women.

Then again. I'm a ride. It's only natural

Gusser09

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058228085/can-girls-make-the-first-move-in-this-day-and-age

Men cant make a move these days for fear of being called out by the me too movement. A fella would want to be crazy to do it.

Mr. teddywinkles

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118478914#Comment_118478914

Ya prolly reject them all cause your in love with yourself.

laoisgem

Yes and I have done in the past.

As for other posters saying men would be afraid to approach women these days because of whats in the media this past week and even the metoo movement, I don't get that (I know I'm not a man so that could explain that). I'd rather be approached by someone and know they're trying to chat me up than have someone looking at me from afar not knowing what he's thinking or what his intentions are.

Thelonious Monk

My gf invited herself over to my gaf after we met for two dates just for a walk, without even kissing. Then after a few hours in my living room had to launch herself on me as I am so useless. I often wait for the girl to make first move just so I'm totally sure it's ok.

BurgerFace

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058228085/can-girls-make-the-first-move-in-this-day-and-age

Anyone who tells you that a woman should not ever make the first move is full of sh1t. I've been the one who has been approached several times over the years and I find it delightful and flattering. One girl at work just came up to me one time and she was a bit flustered but she spat it out and asked if I would like to go out with her sometime. I said "hell yes, I would!". We went on a date and even had a snog but the real spark wasn't there. No harm done. I like to think that she went away from it thinking "glad I did that rather than not taking the chance and always wondering".

Go up to this lad get a date sorted. Jus go for pints or something. If it works out, great. If not you won't have to awkwardly see each other every day in class for another 2 or 3 years. You'll both be graduating soon. Get a move on girl. He/She who hesitates is lost.

Barrita

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058228085/can-girls-make-the-first-move-in-this-day-and-age

Tell him you want a belt of the ham candle and you will have your ankles behind your ears in no time.

pgj2015

A female friend told me lately that she would never ask a man out, even if she really liked him, he would have to ask her. such an old fashioned view. she has probably missed out on great boyfriends because of that attitude.

Donald Trump

Have you never read the classic romance novels? Jane Austen etc?

You have his number? You have a phone? That phone has a camera?

Take a photo of your boobs and send it to him

He likely has no idea your interested if you haven't flirted.

Flirt away, what's the worst that can happen? It's fun 😁

YellowLead

It’s whatever each person feels comfortable with, there are no rulebooks. Unless you are a follow the trend kind of person....

kirk.

I get approached by women a fair bit too

You have to interact and be sexy first before they'll come onto you ime

Or if u have a bit of a rep as a ride they might skip above

animalinside

It has nothing to do with being afraid of looking like a predator or anything like that, men are afraid of approaching women because a lot of them these days are cruel.