What was the most offensive/hurtful thing ever said to you?

Brid Hegarty

Lets try have no judgements here.

ClaudeVercetti

The mother told me I can't do anything right a few times as a kid. To be fair she was in the midst of losing the rag as I was making a mess/doing something daft but I never forgot it for some reason. Hurts a lot more coming from a parent IMO.

PsychoPete

Is it in yet

Archeron

You're just like your father.

Potential-Monke

I was once called selfish by a friend, because I wasn't aware that another friend of his, an acquaintance of mine who I had no contact with outside of rarely meeting in person, whose parent had died. I wouldn't usually get upset when someone calls me selfish, but this friend is someone I let stay in my house bill, rent and food free for 4 months while I struggled, so he could try and get over some personal issues. This is also on top of a lot of other things I did for him over the years. And he has far more selfish than I ever was. He's no longer a friend since that day. That was when I started realising who was taking advantage of my good nature, and has since crafted me into a definitely selfish person who no longer cares for humanity.

NSAman

I was accused of stealing as a child. Something to this day I have never done. It has made me absolutely paranoid about making sure everything I do is above board. Thing is the person who accused me, actually was found to be the thief.

hurt like hell and any sense of impropriety attributed to me now can be backed up with paperwork and proof. As finance is part of my day to day job, it means any fraud committed on the companies is immediately tackled, theft is one thing I personally cannot abide and do not tolerate. It affects so many people, not just the thief but those people who could be implicated. It’s a selfish act of scumbags.

BrianD3

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118358711#Comment_118358711

That has given me a bad flashback of the time when I was about 7 or 8 and my father accused me of stealing sweets and chocolate from a store at his business premises. It kept happening and the accusations continued despite my protests of innocence. Eventually the actual culprit was caught - a kid was breaking in through a small insecure window helping himself and coming back for more. I got an apology and wasn't conscious of ever holding it against my father but maybe it did affect our relationship.

Esel

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058223861/what-was-the-most-offensive-hurtful-thing-ever-said-to-you

Very hurtful - how?

There's been a few comments down through the years. When I was child, 11/12 maybe, we went to visit an elderly woman. I can't recall who she was but I do recall what she said, 'oh she's fat'. I was aware of my weight for as long as I can remember so her remark really stung.

The most hurtful thing ever said to me, the comment that still comes back every now and then was 'you are nothing but trouble'. It was so horrible to hear because of who said it, the context and the history.

Nowadays words don't have the same ability to wound me. Instead it's the actions of others and being misunderstood. When you know in your heart who you are and the other person is telling you they see you differently, negatively. That hurts.

Brid Hegarty

Not that it's the most hurtful thing that's been said to me, but I once had a girl (who was queuing for a night club beside me) curse me. She and her two friends had skipped into the queue behind me by pretending they knew who I was. They came along and said "Sean how are you?". There was a bit of joking from me about how they were arrogant to skip in, and I think they felt I was speaking down to them. She later asked me to put her drink down on the window sill. I told her that she could do that herself. She then said "if I knew you growing up I would so give you such a hard time". I think she was expecting that to hurt but it didn't so as a last resort she stood right in front of me, raised her finger up and said "I curse you... I curse you". I didn't really know how to react. After that she kept on talking away to me as if it hadn't happened and then gave out to me for being quiet. I said "hang on now a sec, you just said you cursed me". She then got apologetic... "oh I'm sorry that's very unlike me... that's very unlike".

spakman

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118358666#Comment_118358666

I think you need some perspective

honeyjo

It was a series of events by a so called friend. They wanted to move to back to our home town, I had a spare I rented to them.

They were going through a tough time emotionally and they chose to take it out on me. I was their emotional punching bag. Everything wrong in their life was my fault. I was the worst person alive. Luckily after a few months they found a new place to live. After they moved out I started getting panic attacks and became incredibly anxious. This was almost 3 years ago I'm still taking medication for the anxiety and needed months of therapy.

Brid Hegarty

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118358711#Comment_118358711

I'm getting flashbacks there too. One Xmas day when I was a child, as my family were getting into our car my auntie (after noticing something missing in the house) came out to the yard and had no hesitation singling me out when wondering if I'd taken it. Didn't ask my siblings at all. I still think she's a bit of a b1tch. She still often mimicks me when I say something. It's more hurtful because I'd be one of the more quiet ones in conversation so I feel like there's a chance she'll do it any time I talk.

Brid Hegarty

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118365303#Comment_118365303

A couple? Was there anything in particular that was said to you that stands out?

mickdw

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118365259#Comment_118365259

Sounds like typical enough night club queue.

I think you need to lighten up abit.

I think it is relatively impossible to offend or "hurt" me with words. There is one particular thing that if anyone said it to me our relationship would simply end in that moment. Not because it is hurtful in and of itself - but because the person saying it would need to know a lot about me and would have to go there out of sheer absolute malice.

Other than that things are hurtful. They either have truth to them or they do not and if they do then it's worth me ruminating on it and changing myself.

Take on boards for example. I have been called everything from a liar to a pedophile/nonce. Entirely by people who are not - very thoughtful or deep thinking people - who were just angry, jealous, or thought they were coming up with some intellectual zinger/burn. It's water off a ducks back.

But then a couple of the more thoughtful users have made a comment about me or my boards posts - that did not offend or hurt but simply made me go "I should think on this and if there is a grain of truth to it I should action it". And I have thanked such users openly at the time.

honeyjo

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118365325#Comment_118365325

I was passive aggressive and selfish. I leaned on them too much for emotional support which caused a breakup, they had been dated the other person for a few weeks. I'm very self aware and know that I'm far from perfect. This person had been my friend for 20 years, I had been there for them through a lot.

Mad_maxx

Worked under a full blown sociopath in New Zealand over twenty years ago while travelling down under so here are just a few of her gems.

" give me one reason why I shouldn't treat you like sh1t"

" I'd p1ss myself laughing if you got you're head kicked in " ( referring to how I uses to put the machine on the cows - was on a dairy farm outside Christchurch)

" don't ever darken this door again "

Cross between Ally McBeal and Hitlers mother, neurotic Nazi

Are you in yet?

Says more about you than me :)

Mister Vain

You have a smelly foreskin.

You're too old.

The first few times genuinely hurt to be heard. (in regards to dating/pickups)

Mad_maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118369051#Comment_118369051

did you deck him ?

Mister Vain

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118369062#Comment_118369062

No I just gave her an extra 20 euro.

_Brian

Last time I was abroad someone asked me was I British or American.

seriously, people need to think before asking hurtful things.

Brid Hegarty

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118369082#Comment_118369082

you visit hookers?

DeanAustin

During our separation, my ex wife said a lot of hurtful stuff but “you only want access to the kids to lower your maintenance” was right up there. That she also went around saying it to anyone that’d listen was the cherry on top.

Andrea B.

"Do you seriously believe that a big fat **** is going to come down that small chimney?"

Mister Vain

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118370652#Comment_118370652

Careful now, that's very offensive. The correct term is escorts.

anplaya27

The moment people realise I'm profoundly deaf and change the way they treat me is probably more hurtful than anything that has been said. The change in their mannerisms and body language is something I've probably seen thousands of times in my life if not more. It used to upset me when I was younger but not anymore. It's their issue not mine.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118365303#Comment_118365303

Kind of resonates. People in crises or addictions often emotionally. You gotta put them back in their box, let them reconcile with themselves and leave them to it, for sanity’s sake, and that’s not being unkind. You run a course of being able to endure Amanda it doesn’t mean you haven’t done everything right by humanity. Some just need to sort themselves out and need to be told they have to do.

Brid Hegarty

I was pretty hurt yesterday. After giving my dad his Christmas present he thanked my sister for it. I mean I know she might be his favourite, but I think it was shoved in my face a bit.

kirk.

Loads

"The best part of you ran down your father's leg"

And plenty more of them

kirk.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118373879#Comment_118373879

Could have been mother's leg

barneygumble99

Anytime the parents in law come to visit I make them dinner, as I do all the cooking in the house, usually a roast with all the trimmings. They know my wife doesn’t cook and she has told them countless times but they thank her exclusively for the dinner. Which is why I’ve lowered my standards and lengthened the 5 second rule to 30 seconds for their food. Not exactly hurtful/offensive to me but meant that way in a passive/aggressive manner.

Brid Hegarty

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118370665#Comment_118370665

Was she hot. Usually the crazier the hotter.

Brid Hegarty

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118373907#Comment_118373907

I hate stuff like that. You always feel that the most important thing is that you don't come across as sensitive... you think "what if they just forgot who actually did the dinner", or "what if they're thanking her for something else?". But fcuk that. If it's your house and you cooked the meat then I'd be correcting them. But I don't follow the 5 and 30 second rule you mention?

barneygumble99

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118373925#Comment_118373925

You know when u drop food but pick it up within 5 seconds, it’s still ok :) sometimes I don’t get to pick their food up for 30 seconds :)

We adopted a baby from Russia....when he was around the 9 or 10 mark he if I'd ask him to do something/ give out about something I'd get the lowest most hurtful remark ..." you're NOT MY DAD" . That hit the spot / used to sting....... but now 15yrs later I reverse the comment............ 'dad, can I borrow your car'.... 'dad,can you spot me a 50note'..........nowdays I say " why, sure you're not my son"

Jim2007

Not what they said, but what they did….

I had an aunt that owned a small grocery shop back in the 60s/70s and like many small shops of the time she sold toys. She visited us every Christmas with presents of toys. Expect when we opened them they were always broken or damaged so we could not use them…. Well she died very recently and talking with cousins we discovered that we had the same experience. An older cousin pointed out that from conversations she’d overheard, it was her way of getting shot of crap she could not sell.

Imagine deliberately giving broken toys to kids at Christmas! Especially in the 60s/70s when we did not have much toys to start with…a fire engine with a wheel, a doll without a leg…….

Gregor Samsa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118373828#Comment_118373828

Maybe he’s confused by your user name.

B.A._Baracus

When I was 18 i worked in the stockroom of a shop here in Dublin. Stockroom manager was an awful man.

One day it's just me and him in the lunch room and I am eating my Burger King and he goes "do you always eat with your mouth open?" (I wasnt) then he shakes his head and says "no wonder you don't have a girlfriend" - I was some shy, spotty, no confidence 18 year old and he knew it. He just said it to me because he wanted to be mean and knew I wouldn't say anything back. He was always barking orders at people and just an overall abrasive personality.

Always remember he was sweet as pie to the store manager. Jerk to everyone else of course.

kirk.

Ex wife used to go for the jugular with the comments

"How's your heart attack dad?"

Brid Hegarty

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118374010#Comment_118374010

At least you don't need to take it personally. It wasn't just you she did it to! Didn't the parents realise that all of the toys were broken?

Brid Hegarty

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118373975#Comment_118373975

I don't know if that's made up but if isn't, then isn't it a bit petty?

Brid Hegarty

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118373930#Comment_118373930

Oh right. I'm probably not the only person who didn't know what you were talking about then!

Nigel Fairservice

A few days after I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis someone who is practically an in-law told me I should move in to a bungalow. Not what I wanted to hear at the time and I still don't live in a bungalow.

Wanderer78

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118374057#Comment_118374057

dodged a bullet there!

yagan

I could cite the family dynamic stuff but we were a big family in a small house so as adults we were all able to draw a line under childhood stuff. But the remark that still cuts to this day was this teacher in primary school who told us that anyone who can't speak Irish isn't really Irish. Our parents worked really hard to raise but didn't have Irish yet they were getting taxed to pay for this munt to tell their children that they weren't really Irish.

That one remark actually shut me down in his class for the rest of the year and my interest in irish, which previously I'd really enjoyed totally evaporated. I've tried to rekindle Irish after I finished school but whenever I encountered that same mentally towards nation and language my repulsion is triggered again.

Wanderer78

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118374209#Comment_118374209

...some teachers really shouldnt be so, theyre the last people you d want near kids, preparing them for adulthood, and some are just absolute arseholes.....

pgj2015

not sure. I never pay attention to someone like that. its their problem not mine.

Brid Hegarty

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118374238#Comment_118374238

If only it were that simple!