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My BF doesn’t want to have sex with me

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    #182
    charlie14
    Registered Users Posts: 14,878 ✭✭✭✭charlie14


    A few years ago a female friend of mine confided in me that she was going through exactly what you are. I can only assume she did so because she had nobody else to confide in where she would not feel totally embarrassed by doing so, so I can understand why you asking for advise here.

    She was then in her mid 20`s, 30 years younger than me, and has been a friend of myself and my wife since she was a kid. She had a lot of problems in her younger years and has looked on us as paternal figures over the years. Her and I have always been able to talk to each other in complete confidence. She knows things about me that even my own wife does not know about my past relationships. Some of them where I behaved no better than this guy presently in your life. Her knowing that, plus her having had a few drinks under her belt, I can only surmise being the reason she confided in me.

    This girl has grown to be one of the most confident, high achieving, caring and the kindest lady I have even had the pleasure of knowing. Physically she is also head turning attractive. She told me in detail about her sex life with this guy (or lack off to be more precise) and her attempts to improve it from sex toys to lingerie and everything in between. She had tried talking to him with the same results you have had. My advise to her is the same as it is to you. Neither of you are in a relationship. you are friends with benefits as far as these guys are concerned. Handy too have around when they want to get laid, but other than that, no interest in having any kind of meaningful relationship. In your case with the dating apps, even more so. You may wonder why I appear so confident in knowing this, well it`s because, not unlike your guy and my friends ex, I like many other men and women have done the same.

    This may sound harsh, but until you realise you are being regarded as a friend with benefits by this guy, then all the advise in the world is not going to improve the situation where you are heading down a long road of misery that this guy will not be at the end of.



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    #183
    cj maxx
    Registered Users Posts: 13,369 ✭✭✭✭cj maxx


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118750349#Comment_118750349

    I would second Tork. On PI some posters talk sense and are helpful. Tork I've noticed is one of them. Something has to change and the only power we have is to change and work on ourselves. Not somebody else. See a therapist,.



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