Should I ask a Co worker out for a 2nd time?

Idle Passerby

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118300326#Comment_118300326

Exactly. Id be of the opinion shes a fully functioning adult, why cant she do the asking this time? The ball was left in her court afterall. But I guess some women insist on being coy maidens who will only flutter their eye lashes and drop their hankies at a suitors feet. OP if she makes any more obvious hints you should say something along the lines of "Well you know where I stand, heres my number."

rolling boh

Think the op has to take a chance and ask her she has let him know she is doing nothing at the weekends .I think if she had no interest she would at least pretend she was doing things to keep him at a distance so not to encourage him if she only sees him as a work pal which of course is possible but the op won't know for sure if he doesn't ask her .

fishersham

I'll be honest, if I was the woman I'd like to think I'd ask myself, seeing I'd already know you were interested. I've done that before, where I realised I fancied someone a few months later and asked to go for a pint or whatever.

That being said, it's possible she may be a bit old fashioned and worry she'll look too keen if she asks you out. Growing up I was always told to play hard to get etc, it can get fairly drilled into your head even as an adult. She does sound like she's into ya, that is 100% how I'd act if I wanted to be asked out.

On the off chance she is too chicken/old fashioned I'd recommend you casually say "wanna go for a drink/pint, seeing as neither of us have plans" the next time she does that. It's not pushy and if she rejects you, you can play it off like you meant it in a "mate" way because it was so casual.

Bythefire

I was thinking, like others, suggest going for lunch if she brings up she has nothing on. Keep it non "date" like as you already asked once.

However, from another point of view, well over a year ago, I went through a really rough breakup. I was devastated, didn't see it coming. I have been on a few dates the last few months but I am still not ready for anything. I am feeling happier in myself and am happy to meet my male friends for food or drinks but I don't want anything more.

There's a chance she might feel like I do. While some of us look like we are over something and try to be, we aren't always.

I hope it works out in your favour but I don't think she wants more. For your sake, I hope I'm wrong.

jasonb

Yep, update please! This thread will be like that one about the locked safe a few years ago! :)

As for whether you should ask again or not, I think you should. If I've learned one in thing in life, it's that you can't read minds, you can't know why someone does or says something, or why they don't do something, or how they'll react. Just 'cos I would do A or B doesn't mean anyone else would be the same, we're all different. Maybe she'll say no again, maybe she's hoping you never ask again, maybe she's really hoping you will but doesn't want to bring it up. Who knows? None of us here do, that's for sure! The only person who knows is her, and it sounds like you're trying to be as considerate as possible while asking her, so I'd say for it. And good luck!

Pureawkward

Hi everyone,

Thanks too all who replied and I know yous have been anxious to know how it went haha

So, I didn't ask Monday we were to busy.

We got talking today for a good half an hour during lunch, again no plans for the weekend so I asked her out straight if she wanted to come out Saturday with me for a few drinks nothing crazy. I didn't bother hinting at her to ask me I'd rather just ask and know the answer then play a back and forth game.

Anyhow she said yes she'd loved too that she was feeling in a better place. Then we got joking because I asked her if she was hinting at me the last few weeks and she just giggled abit.

So I'm delighted now just hope the date itself goes well 😊

Least I know I wasn't completely losing my mind.

Again thanks all for the replies they were very helpful other wise I'd probably would of just left it and not asked

Now I've to go plan a day out for Saturday in a decent pub 😊

Icsics

Brilliant news pure awkward! Have a great day….you might update afterwards, I feel invested now!!

Pussyhands

Congrats OP, it's what we like to hear :)

JP Liz V1

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118297633#Comment_118297633

Take a Chance ask @Pureawkward

Goodigal

I'm delighted to read that OP! Fair play to you. Old school asking someone out - love it! Hope the date goes really well!

locohobo

Well done you!!..

Took a while to work up the b*lls..But you got there....

(Just hope you still got them after Saturday night!)_.......✂️..lol

Ceolaguscraic

I predicted the opposite outcome but delighted to hear you got the date! He who dares!

Wombatman

Great news OP. Never doubted you for a second.

I hope ye both have a great time on the date.

Go in with no expectations and let things develop naturally. Sounds like yez are good buddies already so ye should't suffer from first date awks.

Hopefully if things don't work out romantically ye can stay friends and still support each other.

TheadoreT

Good stuff OP. Sounds like she knows herself well. Probably didn't feel great when she turned you down first time but you'll definitely have a better chance at making something of it now because she did.

Best of luck, keep it light and breezy and don't overthink planning .

LilacNails

Yayyy I'm smiling away to myself delighted for u!

B.A._Baracus

Fair play.

Hannibal_Smith

Mod Note

I'll close this one off so. Fair play OP. Enjoy Saturday!

Thanks everyone who helped make this happen😃

HS