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Bereavement and Christmas?

  • 26-11-2021 10:08pm
    Registered Users Posts: 5,161 ✭✭✭ sporina

    My Mum passed away a few mths ago and I don't feel v xmassy at all.. like, I'll go to Mass, have xmas dinner (no crackers) and watch movies.. etc.. but I don't feel like sending cards/presents etc.. no tree/decorations.. lots of candles.. Is that ok? whats the norm for Christmas when your grieving? PS I don't deprive others of a nice xmas.. I just don't feel v xmassy..


  • its just how I feel.. lots of tea and hymns (and I am not even that religious but Mum was in the choir)

  • People will understand.

    Those who have felt the same after a bereavement will understand even more.

    Mind yourself.

  • Well, it is a tradition in Ireland for a bereaved family not to send Christmas cards the first year. You may find that some people don't send cards either.

    Do whatever you're comfortable with, and take care

  • I know how you feel.

    We lost dad in November and, well, I don't know how it is supposed to be, this Christmas.

    I know I have been enjoying the typical tooing and froing of the season, but there's an underlying sadness to everything, sometimes subtle, sometimes acute.

    I imagine it's like a painting, but the canvas this year is tinted.

    I miss him and I've found that sharing stories about him, the happy and sad, ease the pain quite a bit, especially when you can recount a tale that makes people laugh, it makes it okay to find joy even in this time when there's a ragged hole in you that you think won't ever heal.

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