The stuff that dead people leave behind them

Nodster

I look after the admin side of our local men's shed and you'd be surprised with the amount of calls I get from people who've lost fathers and going through the family home/garage and ask if we would like to have some DIY tools/machines. Always appreciated and they find comfort when we let them know "I think your father would be pleased to know his tools will continue to be used again and again"

At first we expected a bag of rusty spanners, but we've gratefully accepted quality band saws, wood turning lathes and a load of electrical tools over the years

I quite like the idea in the new yorker article above suggesting that cleaning out the house is not just a chore but might be more cathartic and therapeutic than we sometimes give it credit for. That the act of removing small aspects of the person's life - even if just to throw it on a skip - allows us to let go of that person in tiny increments and clear them out of ourselves as well as the house.

I like the Man's Shed idea too. I have amassed quite a lot of DIY equipment and kept it all in very good nick. I built a small house on my land - self installed an outdoor heated jacuzzi with USB ports and speakers for music - and a few other serious projects. So the tools are a great standard. I would like if - unless my kids want to keep some of all of them - they ended up in a place like a Mens Shed to be used. I put some of my time and energy into the health and well being of some other males. It's a nice thought that my stuff could keep doing that after I am gone.

Isn't there a culture that digs up their dead periodically and spends time with them or something? Not sure if reports of that are apocryphal or exaggerated. But speaking of different attitudes towards death in different countries :)

Speedsie

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118219353#Comment_118219353

It's in Madagascar, every seven years.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/from_our_own_correspondent/7562898.stm

Bannasidhe

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118219353#Comment_118219353

I cleaned out my Dad's house after he died, it was heartbreaking but cathartic. Made several trips to the dump but only if there was no other option (his extensive collection of plastic shopping bags had to go), all his decent condition clothes were cleaned and then donated to Cork Penny Dinners. Lisheens House in Skibb funds it's helpline by selling 2nd hand furniture so that's a great option.

L1011

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118217675#Comment_118217675

https://www.instagram.com/whydidyoupaintthat/

Blame Mrs Hinch and her obsessive followers for the painting stuff that shouldn't be painted obsession.

Wibbs

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118215770#Comment_118215770

I'd say a lot of it would be down to our lack of cash in the past. In the UK most people were also potless, but they had a much larger population, more cities, a much larger merchant class and of course aristo class and many of the potless people worked for them and often got hand me downs from their employers when they got married or left their service(you often see this on the AR; "oh my granny worked for Lord Chinless-Wonder and he gave her this chest when she retired") and they were also producing much more household and other goods of course. So there was a lot more "stuff" in circulation compared to here. Add in an ongoing latter nostalgia for their faded empire and there's a ready market and interest in that kinda thing and enough stuff to supply it. It's a rare small town and village in England that doesn't have an antique shoppe.

We had pretty much none of the above in Ireland. You can even see this in the type of antiques that do exist here. Local Georgian era stuff is bloody rare, because what wealth there was was concentrated around small(at the time) cities like Dublin, Cork, Belfast. Pre Georgian Irish stuff is vanishingly rare to non existent. When we did start to get more cash in the late 19th century you see more stuff around, so most of the Irish antiques tend to be Victorian in age, with some Edwardian in the mix. We also see this in pre independence architecture. A fair few Norman keeps and the like then a huge gap to a burst of Georgian, then Victorian. By contrast in England you can find Tudor era buildings easily enough.

So as you noted very few Irish people have clocks and the like handed down by great grandparents but that's mostly because for the vast majority of our Irish ancestors they were potless and had little to nothing of value to pass down. Then post independence there was also the understandable feeling of wanting to divest ourselves of our colonial past because it was English. Again you can kinda see that in architecture. While we may promote Georgian Dublin today, for much of the 20th century that stuff was either torn down, left in ruins, or chopped up for cheap accommodation. We wanted the new, the not English, the modern(though this also happened in the UK in the 50's and 60's with modernism when they still had something of an empire. The nostalgia gig really only took off in the late 70's after they lost it. The AR actually started in the late 70's and helped in no small way to drive that market).

I can even see that reflected in my family. One side had plenty of cash over generations, land and business owners kinda thing. They did leave lots of stuff to following generations and much of it is still around today. The other side came from very little and pulled themselves up into the middle class. They have almost nothing from previous generations. I did notice growing up that the "old money" side's attitude was as much if not more to do with frugality when it came to handing stuff down as it was about preserving a past. The "new money" side were much flashier with the cash and bought new and modern and often. Buying cars showed another difference. The old money never bought new and cars were regularly passed around the family, the new money almost always bought new cars. They were more concerned with status and new showed that off more than old tat hand me downs that only later became "antiques". Antique shops used to be called junk shops until that kinda thing became popular and cash was to be made.

Wibbs

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118218326#Comment_118218326

I have seen that a fair number of times. A few years back a neighbour of mine died and the family came in and cleared the house. They asked me if I wanted anything which was nice of them, but in the end all his stuff was loaded into a van. Four vanloads went to the skip with perfectly servicable furniture(some of it nice too) and the like, a quarter of a vanload of his stuff found a new home. I was chatting with the lads doing the clearout and they said there was near zero market for older furniture and household stuff anymore, so unless the family took some it was dumped, even books were mostly thrown into landfill.

rainagain

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118215812#Comment_118215812

I saved this article after reading it and since then I've bought less and paid more attention to what I already have (all the art prints I bought over the years are now framed and on the walls, travel mementos either on display or moved on to charity shops etc).

"döstädning"

https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/people/swedish-death-cleaning-put-your-life-in-order-so-loved-ones-needn-t-1.3266938

BrianD3

When an uncle of mine (elderly bachelor) died about 10 years ago I visited his house shortly after his death before it was sold. He had been in a nursing home for a few years and the house was as it had been the day he left it albeit with some deterioration due to damp. He had inherited the (large 200+ year old) house from his parents/my grand parents who had died 30 and 70 years earlier and there was lots of their stuff in it, a lot of it probably untouched e.g. my grandmother's handbag hanging up in the same spot as it had been when she went into hospital decades earlier. Clothes, holy pictures, old letters, some books related to my grandfather' profession. A non working TV from the 1960s, an ancient radio. I found it unsettling and didn't hang around. Later though, I regretted not saving some of his and my grandparents stuff. Everything was left for the new owner to dispose of. House sold for a pittance due to the property crash and as it was a probate sale, buyers can smell a bargain when someone dies.

tayto lover

If anyone finds an old Victorian egg-timer with the name “Harrison” inscribed on it then I’d be interested.

Padre_Pio

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118219823#Comment_118219823

That's the reality of it. Mam works in a charity shop and the number and quantity of donations is staggering.

Most of it is worthless though, and there's only so large a market for second hand stuff. So the best is kept and the majority is recycled, exported or dumped. I think litigation is creeping into the sector, so they don't sell electronics, and furniture is checked.

Glenomra

Both my wife and I are getting older after a lifetime acquiring, mostly books but also interesting bits a pieces, especially pieces associated with farming, older households etc. Wife inherited many pieces from family home. Of little monetary value. Some sentimental value. My family couldn't afford possessions other than basic cooking etc. We have added much, clocks , tea sets, ornaments, a few sculptures, stone and timber items. Re what happens to them when we're dead, quite simply I couldn't care less. That's what many posters overlook. They add to many people's lives and they are not obsessed about their future ownership. Buying them, talking about then , their uses etc etc has been great fun. Our children didn't share this interest for decades. Some still don't. Yet one of our daughter in laws minimalistic herself, objected when we proposed discarding some of the objects. Said that she likes that look in our house, that her children love handling the old objects, keys, ornaments calf baskets, old utensils etc. Etc. The collection always attracts interest and has proven very educational for family members and visitors. Occasionally take a single object when offered to choose something that she likes. If sold in the future they will realise some money which I hope the children will enjoy spending. That's my twopence worth.

Andrewf20

Alot of elderly homes are often left unrenovated for decades and I actually find it very interesting to step into a home that looks and feels like 1983. Its a real chance to time travel and to sift through old books, toys etc. Its like the final chance to experience a dead era.

The decor can be a real horror but you'd wonder if the decor today will be a horror in 30 years time. Strange how tastes change.

yagan

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118220233#Comment_118220233

There's probably more of a blend these days compared to the plastic fantastic 70s when bungalow bliss filled the land with everything shiny and new. From recent house hunting one trend that really stood out to me from the Bertie bubble era was the unused jacuzzi in the garage conversion.

corner of hells

A friend of mine inherited an old house belonging to an elderly uncle of his years and asked me to make safe and check out some sockets and old cables.

While the two of use were moving old boxes and junk around the garage, we bumped into a shelf and an old grenade fell and rolled across the floor.

I **** myself, thinking this how it's to end , a fcukin' explosion.

Gardai and d'army were called after we composed ourselves , declaring it to be safe saying it was a deactivated ww2 grenade.

So , dead people can keep their possessions.

whisky_galore

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118218326#Comment_118218326

That's sad alright.

Unless they're something like all Ireland or Olympic medals no one wants them.

The One Doctor

My job is furniture restorer and there's less and less antique (brown) furniture now. My boss restored stuff for 40 years and passed his skills into me (french polishing, restoration etc)... but in reality everyone wants IKEA. I certainly do, don't have a scrap of brown furniture in my house.

Actually, when I do get some brown furniture, I burn it.

It burns well in a stove.

elperello

It's a tradition in some families to offer all close family members a choice of small items from the deceased's home once the will is sorted and the beneficiaries have been looked after.

It could be a picture, a lamp or something practical from the kitchen.

It's a nice idea and allows a little memory of the deceased to live on daily in the person's house.

I’ve turned from Hyacinth Bucket into Onslow. I’ve less ornaments and more immoral scatterings on my search history 😂

arctictree

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118223502#Comment_118223502

We took one of the trophies at random and it sits now with our families trophies on the shelf. It's a nice talking point and something to remember him by.

whisky_galore

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118220233#Comment_118220233

I think the pre lecky cottages, esp the thatched ones, had a pleasing plainness to them, almost Shaker-like.

Things started going downhill with patterned wallpapers and avocado bathroom suites. And fcuktons of ornaments.

Dial Hard

I can't abide clutter and have very little interest in "stuff". If I dropped dead tonight the only things I have that I'd like to see passed on/reused would be books (not all of them, I have a *lot*, but some nice editions and/or signed copies, e.g. my personally signed & dedicated Handmaid's Tale) and my Le Creuset collection, which should outlive the next three generations of my family if it's looked after properly.

elperello

Books are an item that can often be overlooked and the valuable get dumped or sent to the charity shop along with the rest.

TheWonderLlama

My other half had to clean out her father's place after he died. There was a LOT of porn along with some ahem marital aids of the rubber variety.

Fair to say it wasn't a pleasant experience at all for her.