Dating is hard

Rome2021

Maybe I sound too romantic, but I would just wait to fall in love with someone. Then I would concentrate my energy on it, that would be also very easy, because when you are in love, you just think of him all the time. Dating in your case seems a real work, it seems exausting to me, I would avoid dating. Live your life, enjoy it, there will be someone at work, at voluteering, or somewhere else, that "catch" you. There is not much explanation in it, it just happens. Do not concentrate on dating, just enjoy your life and see what happens.

Daisy78

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118227861#Comment_118227861

There are plenty of normal decent folks on dating sites, some oddballs but to be honest no different to what you might find in a pub on any given Saturday night. Options for meeting someone might be limited if you don’t want to date anyone from work, may not be into sports or have hobbies that are more solitary in nature. The pub is trotted out as the best place to meet someone but in all the many years I was single I never met anyone from a night out, beyond a casual encounter that is. Dating online is just another option and it might not be in the OP’s interest to rule it out.

Tell me how

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118228190#Comment_118228190

I would just wait to fall in love with someone.

I'm not saying that that cannot happen, but, as a 42 year old single person, I would advise against waiting for it. For a number of reasons I didn't pursue dating for an extended period in my 30's. It was mostly health related, but, I felt that it would happen, when I was ready for it to happen. It hasn't.

If I had my time back, I would try to prioritise that more than I did. I would encourage people to date consistently. I'm not suggesting a different date every week while single, and within a week of any relationship finishing but at least every few weeks if you are not recovering from the end of a long term relationship.

By all means, take a break to assess where you are at, and if you genuinely feel it's best you don't pursue dating for a period, then don't, but don't sit inside waiting for someone to knock on your door either.

Wanderer78

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118232443#Comment_118232443

theres actually known to be a higher number of psychologically unwell/unstable people on dating sites, than most other dating environments, but of course theres plenty of healthy people also

Esel

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118232917#Comment_118232917

"The odds are good, but the goods are odd."

John Palmer

No need to over analysis it. Just go with the flow.

B.A._Baracus

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118232917#Comment_118232917

Yup.

I've known a lot of people who have used dating sites over the years. Pof in particular and they all say anyone who is normal is either snapped up or leaves the site.

I have heard a crazy amount of horror stories over the years. From women who barely washed themselves to an old lad I know saying how on a first date with a woman who was in her 60s, starts randomly saying how she was abused by her father when she was young. Like you'd be sorry to hear that. But thats not something you wanna hear 20 minutes after meeting her. I could go on.

Greyfox

To be honest I think anybody single these days and on not on the likes of tinder or Bumble are a bit of an eejit as if you meet someone in real like chances are there on these sites also. With OD you just have to have a bit of cop on and you can weed out most of the time wasters.

There's loads of wonderful single people out there, it's just a bit time consuming finding the one that's right for you and the really hard part is not investing emotionally until you know that both of yous feel something.

Constructive advice here. There are courses/books on how to be more of a woman. How to behave in a more attractive way etc.

You need to put yourself out there as the hot commodity you are.

Also, I note your post was very long. Does this ever translate into the way you text? Men like a more direct and brief communication style.

Best of luck.