People who are gay using changing rooms

JupiterKid

Well, I can only use my own example as a gay man who uses gyms and swimming pools and has done so for years and years - oddly enough I don't stare, get a boner or grope some unsuspecting guy in the showers.

Newsflash: self-restraint is very possible in changing rooms - and 90 per cent of people in changing rooms are really nothing special to look at. 👍👍

kneemos

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118003165#Comment_118003165

Well we like to think so.

greenspurs

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118009758#Comment_118009758

Youve dashed the hopes of a lot of lads in here !!

😜

Larbre34

The whole subject area is quite interesting, given the changing times we live in. What to do to accommodate all sexualities and genders while not alienating others?

To be honest, as a straight man, I wouldn't give too figs if there were gay men in a changing area I was using. In fact there has almost certainly been lots of times in the past that there were, but who would ever know, because everyone knows to be mutually respectful and just get on with using the changing area and move on.

I know there are gyms and saunas and bathhouses run by and for gay men and thats cool too, whatever makes you happy, but again I'm sure thats understood by everyone who uses them, so nobody can claim to be naive about that.

I think the main issue is still unisex facilities. I was in one in Germany a few years back that made good sense in its design. It was in a water park. You enter from the reception lobby and before you are a long rank of individual doors. Some are sized for single occupancy, some big enough to for a parent and a couple of kids to change. On the far side of the cubicle is another door that leads to the shower area and pool access. Swimwear is compulsory on that side and people shower off while wearing them in frosted glass stalls. It seems to work well enough, I only heard tell that sometimes horny teens grab a family cubicle for a quick fumble, but there are attendants keeping an eye for that stuff.

I think the biggest issue is still unisex bathrooms. I was in the Lighthouse cinema lately with my missus. You may know the bathroom in the upstairs lobby is unisex, just sinks and stalls. Both of us went in and my wife found herself in a stall between me, emptying the bladder noisely into the pan and a fat bloke evacuating a foul stench with associated stereo soundtrack on the other side. She got stage fright and left for the separate disabled toilet, unrelieved.

Toilet traditions are very different for women and men I think and no doubt different again for those that identify as neither. Maybe the long term solution is a sealed cubicle with sink and toilet inside for everyone, though there are obvious cost and security considerations with that.

Mad_maxx

What's the question

Should gay men be allowed use male changing rooms ?

Would never occur to me that they shouldn't

Gael23

I know this sounds a little perverted but as a single gay guy it’s an opportunity to see a few naked lads.

id never dream of of making a move on any nit you get what I mean

YFlyer

Who cares. Unless you are an African football fan.

Thankfully, the changing rooms I use have a booking system due to covid atm which means they're fairly sparsely populated and I can get dressed safely. Wouldn't fancy being perved at by some perve all the same.

Potential-Monke

I would like to refute the points made by people saying that seeing a naked body of your attractive sex does not arouse you. Lies. It does. While extremely few and far between, unless the nekkid person was completely against what I find attractive, it's arousing. He may not react, but still aroused. I don't understand how people don't get aroused by the naked body of that they find sexual interest in.

Never been in a communal changing room, probably for the better. Well, unless you count Mosney or those swimming places that have pods in a communal area. I don't mind the male nekkidness, and wouldn't be thinking that there's another lad in there perving on me (extremely doubtful, I wouldn't perv on me, and I'm a perv). Doesn't matter, the attention is usually taken away by that one lad who looks like he wants people to be looking at him naked. Takes ages to get dressed and makes a point of ensuring he's not hiding anything. I tried to cover myself up as quickly as possible, because there could be someone in there who doesn't like the nakedness, and we should consider those people too imo.

Anyway, I'm a grower, so nothing to be showing off unless standing to attention.

Paulownia

Am I odd, I like being naked with other people, both men and women

Amenhotep

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118003235#Comment_118003235

unisex changing rooms ?

do these exist ?

with showers and all ?? nah , don't buy it ...

Amenhotep

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118003194#Comment_118003194

I agree to an extent, we used to go to a nude beach close to us a lot, and you're right, one wouldn't get excited as it was the norm and when you yourself are naked it just puts a block there .

But at the same time, you can certainly appreciate attractive nudey ladies ... I know I did ... but yeah as you say, not the same as a sexual encounter.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118069177#Comment_118069177

Sometimes it does, sometimes not. Context is much more important than the actual body.

Potential-Monke

True, but when I see a naked body that attracts me, my mind creates the context. I have a very active imagination. Potentially on the spectrum, but don't see a need to be tested. So my mind does what it does when sober and goes into overdrive. It creates situations in seconds. I obviously don't react, but even if it's not what i'm attracted to, my mind will "remind" me of what I am simply because I saw naked.

Just explaining my own mind, everyone is different, I agree. But that association my mind plays is something I'm sure everyone experiences to some degree. I just happen to be overactive in that department. But that applies for anything I'm interested in. My mind goes into overdrive and creates situations and scenarios that don't, but could, exist. Quick example, I see naked body - mmmm - naked body hot - Mila Kunis hot - naked Mila Kunis.

I do realise this does potentially paint me as an incel type, as much as I don't like using that word, but I'm not. I'm just willing to be honest about myself. This all happens while I walk on by. The initial object or person that initiates it could be well gone out of my view, but the mind continues. I forget 95% of these. Tbh, it's why I smoke. Stalls that down to a normal level. Doctor tried to give me chemicals with potential side effects of increased suicidal tendencies... ah, no thanks, this works fine! Rambling now, time for a smoke!

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119124727#Comment_119124727

Well that explains a lot.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118069177#Comment_118069177

I would like to refute the points made by people saying that seeing a naked body of your attractive sex does not arouse you. Lies. It does.

It doesn't though. For example, if you're attracted to women, but have a particular preference for big breasted women, then the sight of a woman with a completely flat chest (just considering bodies, nothing else) is unlikely to arouse you. Just as I'm attracted to men, but the vast majority of "normal" guys don't have great bodies... Hell, they don't even have good bodies. Btw, There's a decided difference between arousal and attraction.

My mind goes into overdrive and creates situations and scenarios that don't, but could, exist. Quick example, I see naked body - mmmm - naked body hot - Mila Kunis hot - naked Mila Kunis.

Whereas when I see a naked body, it's just a naked body. Big deal. I've seen a lot of nudity over the decades. I think a lot comes down to personal experience. When I was a teenager or young man, I would react strongly to nudity because it was so uncommon for me to see. Now, after living actively with both men and women.. nope. The sight is nothing particularly amazing. However, if I'm touched, skin to skin.. now that's what really arouses me (that's especially true after the Covid period and my dating has been non-existent).

Potential-Monke

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119124780#Comment_119124780

Please, elaborate. Or gonna leave it at an attempted jibe?

@[Deleted User] Yes, I agree. But do you not have association? I don't think like that just walking through the street. But if someone walked past me naked, I'd notice, and even if I don't initially like what I see, it'll remind of what I do like to see.

Charles Babbage

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119123310#Comment_119123310

no there is a complete double standard in everything regarding this issue.

Some normal teenage guy peers into the girls changing room and he gets expelled from school and is charged by the police. A homosexual guy can just go into the changing room and perv away and if you object to this then it is implied that there is something wrong with you!

Eggs For Dinner

I'm from the older generation and use a leisure centre changing room almost daily. You get to see the same people there regularly. There are, I suspect, some gay men, among the familiar faces. Regardless of whoever is in the changing room I exercise my own standard of etiquette. I don't stare at anyone getting dressed or going to the shower and I casually cover my bits when doing the same. Doesn't bother me if they're straight or gay, it's not a sexual situation .

Sleeper12

Do you go to the gym yourself?

Around 10% of them are gay. Do you see any going around with woodys in the changing room?

I don’t think it's a big a deal as you'd like it to be tbh

Sleeper12

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119123310#Comment_119123310

Unisex changing rooms & toilets are very common on the continent. Can't say I have seen any in Ireland though

looksee

I was in secondary school in England in the early 1960s, a mixed school with separate changing and shower facilities. The showers were a tunnel of water sprays so you had to get wet as you walked through them. We were naked and no-one gave it a thought. In my mid teens I went to church retreats in a Lutheran retreat centre where they had a sauna and communal shower rooms, they were used as single sex, again completely naked and again no-one gave it a thought. My own (adult) children however are and always have been overly concerned about modesty and covering themselves, don't know where they got it 😀.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119124727#Comment_119124727

Beginning to understand now why you're banned from live art classes and galleries!

Seriously, though, you initially said, "I would like to refute the points made by people saying that seeing a naked body of your attractive sex does not arouse you. Lies. It does." followed by "but when I see..." and "I have an active immagination..." - so sounds like it's just you but you think it's everyone else...

It's really not everyone else.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119124862#Comment_119124862

It just confirms what I suspected following your comments on another thread recently about teenage girls and school uniforms. And according to your comments on this thread, you're a self-confessed perv.

So like I said, makes sense now. 👀

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119124878#Comment_119124878

I think most guys don't care even slightly if there are gay guys in the changing rooms (unless they're teenagers) because there generally isn't the same perspective on the male body being sexy compared to that of the female body.

Look around at the media/marketing of both genders, and the emphasis on the female form being sexy/attractive, but for men? It's far less emphasised, and that will count with the social conditioning that all of us receive.

Oh, and it would be very rare that a gay guy will see any male bodies worth perving over. TBH most gay guys I know would be focusing on the face rather than the body.. because in reality, most guys bodies fall far short of expectations. When it comes to heterosexual males looking at female bodies, there's a lot more physically to appreciate as a being sexualised.

Liberty_Bear

I wouldnt in a changing room, staring at someone would be creepy in that scenario. As others have said if they are hot I might catch a glimpse but its the same as a bloke staring at a bird as she walks down the street. I love big chubby lads, plenty of them in the swimming pool or sauna but its not sexual for me. Feels slightly weird if it did. We normally might chat about losing weight or in my case getting breathing right when swimming.

bnt

I don’t have a problem with what goes in someone’s head, as long as it stays there. That said, any person (any gender/sexuality), who gets turned on by the sight of me naked, needs a check-up from the neck up.

cj maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118003235#Comment_118003235

I just googled that and seemingly the Boiler Room in Temple Bar is still on the go.

Potential-Monke

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119125564#Comment_119125564

You haven't explained anything, just made further vague refences which appears to infer I'm something. Just out and say it if you can. Stop hiding.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119127216#Comment_119127216

What am I supposed to be hiding?

I don't have to explain anything for your benefit. You know exactly what I'm talking about. You've painted a picture of yourself here and on other threads that it appears more than just I have picked up on. I don't have to infer anything, you do it yourself. I didn't put those words in your mouth.

So now, for all your willingness to "be honest" with yourself, maybe you should just own it.