Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Be right back

May ODB/Dara rest in peace. 37 is way too young to go..

mohawk

As soon as I saw the thread title my heart sank as last I saw on Twitter she wasn’t doing good. I enjoyed her posts she was articulate, honest and not afraid to speak her mind. 36 is no age to go at all. RIP OBD

She actually closed her ODB account in May - I had forgotten it was that far back, and she opened another account here then, which was active for the last time on 23rd August. She sent her final tweet on 27th August.

Think she was keeping her last Boards account low-key and I think ODB and Dara are probably her best known accounts.

God you'd miss her. I keep seeing funny stuff I know she'd like. 😊 she LOVED The Simpsons and there are constant new Simpsons memes.

A great auld crew of gals here (and lads of course but just speaking as a woman) whom she connected with, and they her. Likeminded. Hilarious and brilliant ladies - I miss Electro Bitch and Candie and Retro:Electro and Medusa and Bitofabind (and others - so sorry for not naming you but you know who you are). I'm delighted to see the rest of ye popping in. I hope after the dust settles with the new format the above will be around again... kinda channelling ODB's spirit with the laughs and the biting sarcasm when necessary and the hyper intelligence and open-mindedness.

As someone else said, if ODB is out there somewhere having a discussion, she's slaying it... 🥲❤

Aglomerado

RIP to ODB. I enjoyed her posts and her sense of humour. Condolences to her family and friends.

Church on Tuesday

Sad to hear to hear this. An incredibly brave and inspiring woman.

AH is a poorer place without her.

RIP

Gregor Samsa

I was thinking of her just this morning - I somehow missed this thread until now. I've a friend who's recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer, and the whole subject is weighing heavily on my mind at the moment.

I didn't know her at all, but I had great respect for her as a poster. She was funny, articulate and forthright. My condolences to her loved ones, it's such a cruel disease.

RIP, ODB.

Very sorry to read about your friend, Gregor.

Tony EH

Ah, that's sad news. I was wondering about her the other day.

Cancer...I just don't even know what to say about it any more. 😞

Lisha

RIP to Dara/ObviouslyDesperateBreakfasts. .

Condolences to her friends, family and to all who will miss her.

it’s just not fair.

Galwayguy35

Rest easy.

37 is no age at all to pass on.

dirtyden

Lovely tribute Fever Dream. I hope some of her loved ones can see some of the lovely messages here. From personal experience they really can warm your heart after a loss, seeing the impact a lost loved one has had.

Thanks so much Den, you're very kind. And I'm so sorry to read of your loss.

Lots of lovely tributes to her here, and Twitter is absolutely jam packed with them, including from an actor who was in a couple of well known British comedies in the '90s. It certainly would be nice if this got back to her loved ones. Hopefully it'll find a way!

ceadaoin.

Oh no. I'm only seeing this now. I had noticed she was gone but I was hoping she might have namechanged again as I knew she did that previously. I didn't want to think the worst :(

RIP ODB. I very much appreciated her contributions to this site, and was full of admiration for both how she faced her illness and how she always stood up for what she felt was right, even during her last months. No age at all, its awful. Condolences to her loved ones.

retro:electro

I am beyond sad to hear this news and I dreaded this day for her for a long time. A wonderfully wise poster whose posts I read with great admiration. It’s so so sad. She just wanted so badly to live. I will always remember her and will miss seeing her name peppered about this site. She was very kind to me on here when I was going through some stuff. Im thinking of all who knew her.

DoozerT6

Genuinely saddened to read this. Life is just so unfair sometimes. RIP.

retro:electro

I haven’t been able to get her off my mind all day and I just stumbled across her Twitter there, there is something terribly haunting about seeing her final thoughts laid bare - how she knew the end was nigh, how that train was coming and there was nothing she could do about it. I don’t want to be all about myself here but I genuinely have not felt this gutted about someone passing in a long, long time. She had so much more to give and I really do feel like we have lost a good one here. I can’t even imagine how she must have felt in her last few days and weeks, my mind goes there momentarily and then I have to evacuate; I can’t even imagine living it.

The horror.

I’m not religious but if there is a god, be good to her. I hope she has the peace and comfort wherever she is that she deserved to have when she was alive. A wonderful person.

She was awesome.

I know what you mean Retro (and you are not making it about you - all your post is, is empathy for ODB) - my understanding is that she passed on the 5th or 6th of September, and to see her final tweets only about ten days before that is, as you perfectly put it, haunting. It's shocking how quickly she slipped away once she discontinued treatment (which appears offered no quality of life). It's pretty barbaric what she went through really. She posted with such dignity and grace, never seeking pity as Dial Hard said (she would have despised pity!) yet didn't go quietly into the night either. The other day I was looking back at a long-running thread on another forum here, to search for some info, and by chance, a post of hers from a few months ago to that thread appeared... and you know the way your mind can discard logic for a nanosecond... just for that tiny little window I started thinking "Oh yay, shes' back!" Her loved ones will have those moments constantly and it doesn't bear thinking about the pain of that grief.

This sad news is a gut punch for sure - reflective of what an impact she made. xx

Dara will be remembered dearly by very many people. She reached and influenced people far beyond her circle of close family and friends by being forthright and authentic on public platforms.

A few things would serve her legacy well -

She candidly told the story of her dreadful, prolonged misdiagnosis of cancer and her truth should serve as a warning and source of courage to other women and men who may not be listened to re their medical symptoms. Speak up. Follow up. Trust yourself no matter what "experts" say.

She had strong opinions particularly about the malignant influence of gender theory ideology on the rights and protections of especially women, though she also advocated for men and boys to have the right to the privacy and protection of single sex spaces etc. She was very concerned for the impact on children and minors. For that genuine, heartfelt and investigated position she was frequently abused and censored, including on this site, and it was a subject we frequently discussed. It was so unfair that she was censored anywhere for her well argued views, no matter that she was of necessity feisty, because she had chosen a cause to fight for with her last energies and she was entitled to do so as loudly and vigorously as she wanted. She felt it was vitally important, and it is.

She lived the truth that friends and family can have different opinions on contentious issues, and still love each other. She put a great value on loving relations, disagreed with her beloved Dad for example, but could appreciate his right to have different views than her. She believed in debate. We disagreed on things in an open and refreshing manner - she was very wise like that, it was a balm in this age of conformity.

She was a character full of cheek, courage, mischief, wit, intelligence, spontaneous emotion and ecpressiveness, all of which contributed to deeply held principles that she had thought hard to evolve. She regularly questioned ideas and herself - she did not adhere to groupthink or ideology. She stood up for herself, defended her personal honour and her ideas, and, despite the fact that she was sometimes heavily censored for this, or maybe because of her example, her bravery should call to the bravery of other young women (especially) not to cave under peer pressure, not to be supposedly good and meek and socially compliant, but to stand your ground and talk back in the face of being shouted down, ignored, abused or silenced.

If Dara's spirit encouraged anything it was this noble righteous defiance. She was indefatigable. This mental and emotional resilience of hers was all the more astonishing given her bodily suffering.

May she rest in peace and long may her spirit of whole-hearted rebellion live on through others who are inspired by her.

BrianD3

I read that her father died suddenly a few months ago at a relatively young age - terrible situation for their loved ones.

Boards.ie: Niamh

I'm very sorry to read this about Obvious Desperate Breakfasts, that is so sad. She was very much a larger than life character on here. RIP.

Neyite

I am so sorry to hear this - though I know she spoke candidly about her terminal diagnosis, it's still come as a very sad shock. I always enjoyed her posts, and we had a few PM exchanges here and there. She was witty, articulate, brave and her passing is a huge loss to the site. My condolences to all of you who knew her.

I will raise a glass to her memory tonight as well.

bb1234567

I don't think the death of a stranger has ever affected me so much really, maybe it's because on this site you get to know personal things/opinions about people you don't know and in a way feel a closeness to them, but this really hit home. It's hard to put into words how upsetting and low this news has made me feel. I never even had a conversation with her but from time to time I had feared when she would stop posting because of the cancer. Got a big sinking feeling in my stomach when I read this, I just wonder about her family and friends these people I will never know or see and how they could possibly deal with the heart wrenching trauma of the death of their loved ones being taken so early in her life. It's so **** sad and awful. I'm so bloody sorry to hear even though it's been coming a while. What a tragedy your witty, insightful and unique opinions can no longer be shared with the world. I'm happy for everybody who got to spend time with you during your short life as you seemed like a really cool girl. RIP ODS, you will be dearly missed around these parts.

beachhead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117879228#Comment_117879228

Cancer is not susceptible to a miracle cure.Huge advances have been made in the last 30 years.Survival rates for most forms have increased enormously in that time.I cannot remember the reference but covid 19 research is showing up remedies to be tried for cancer treatmnent.Ponder that.

Yeah I don't agree with the idea that there's a cure but it's not being shared (for drug companies to keep making huge money) however I get the frustration.

seenitall

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117939998#Comment_117939998

I’ll ponder it once I see less women in their thirties die of ovarian cancer within six weeks of being diagnosed, less men in their forties die of brain cancer within seven months of being diagnosed, or cases like Sarah Harding’s one. Perhaps I’ve just known some very unlucky people in the not too distant past, or maybe you’re being a bit too pollyannaish on the subject. Advances have been made, but they fall far, far short of what had been indicated would be the case 20+ years ago.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117940202#Comment_117940202

Not to distract from OBD, whose treatment no doubt has contributed to informing future treatment/research into her kind of cancer, but cancer is hundreds/thousands of diseases with the commonality of a mutated gene that causes useless uncontrolled reproduction. There have been some terrific success stories, but as you indicate, not enough. But science has really only caught up on the finer dna details behind a fair number of cancers and other diseases, so there is every hope for more and more tailored treatments in the future. Affordability is one great barrier, but again in some decades this will be surmounted by newer technologies. It’s not really any good to us atm, but there is genuinely much better hope for the future.

cj maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117909796#Comment_117909796

You put into words my feeling retro:electric. Thank you

Ah, no. My eyes welled up when I saw this thread title.

She was a woman with something to say, and it was always something worth saying. More than once I was the recipient of an hilariously vituperative missive prompted by some pompous post lauding the 'dignity' of people who suffered in silence, or who 'fought a hard battle', or some other loaded term that infuriated her. I was always glad for any exchange with her, in spite - or perhaps because - of being quite certain I liked her more than she liked me. She had a wry, pithy, wit and an ability to laugh at the most hopeless situations, sometimes understandably a little bitterly, sometimes absurdly light heartedly. She was always interesting, and I'm so glad I told her so.

She was one to be admired, but not just because of how she handled her terrible situation, because there was much, much more to her.

I'm going to miss her, she was one of the cool girls.

Sleepy

Very sad news. She faced her illness with a remarkable sense of humour and good grace. Rest in Peace.

BlockPartee

RIP, such sad news :( I always looked forward to her insights on various hot topics and she was such a lovely interesting person. I had a few interactions with her on my previous account. She really was one of the best boardsies. I hope she's resting peacefully now and condolences to her family and friends.

nacho libre

I'm very sorry to hear this. I don't check After Hours often so i'm only seeing this now. She came across as a very wise, strong, and good humored person.

I can only imagine the sense of loss and the void people who were close to her must be feeling since her passing. Condolences to them all.

Graces7

So very sorry to hear this. I had some pm /correspondence with her on illness related and other issues. A lovely person.

requiescat in pace.. and may angels guide thee to thy rest.

xzanti

I'm only reading this thread now. Wow so sorry to hear that.

May she rest in peace. Condolences to her family and friends.

Ballycommon Mast

Was her old accounts username _Dara_?

ScottSchultz

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058208419/obvious-desperate-breakfasts

Oh my lord, I really hope she's in a much better place now... very away from the suffering she experienced here. 🙏

JP Liz V1

RIP

nolivesmatter

Just saw the username in the title here and it immediately triggered in my mind a post by her that I had seen while back and I knew straight away what this thread was about. I'm very sorry. Had a few PMs exchanges with her, a lovely person, and formidable in a debate/discussion. RIP.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117879228#Comment_117879228

Very sorry to hear this though I did not know this lady.

I agree with your other points. Lots of claims of progress yet people keep dying from it

Graces7

So grateful that this thread is here. as it gives the chance to pray and to give thanks for her and to remember her courage . It shines like a light in the darkness.

Just over a year - she is greatly missed.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119663798#Comment_119663798

I thought about her when I woke up and checked back here to see how long it's been. How can time move so fast? I hope her family and friends are healing from their loss. I hope they know how well she's remembered, and how much she was liked.