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fiances fortieth birthday

  • #1
    Registered Users Posts: 9,888 ✭✭✭ Mad_maxx

    Hi all , hope perhaps that I might get some opinions

    My fiance ( we have two children and are getting married next year ) is forty next month and while she has always talked about how she would love a Chanel bag more than anything on earth , I have in mind to instead buy her three nights in London with tickets to a west end show , she loves musicals and was in amateur drama for years , I honestly do not mind if she takes a friend her mum instead of myself on the short break but feel the trip is the better gift ?



  • Ask her.

  • Are they the same price? If yes, I'd get her the bag.

    If there's a bag she's always wanted, she will probably get many years' enjoyment and happiness from it. I know I would. I love bags and have bought a few that were pricier than I could afford but I bought them and years later still get great joy from them. If you get the right bag, it could be something she still uses many years from now. And it will remind her of you :-)

  • I'd say the bag, as it would have sentimental value as a birthday gift, but you need to know the exact style and colour she wants, especially when paying that money

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  • Man here.

    I’d say the bag. In terms of the surprise I’d say bring her to BT and say “take yer pick. I don’t the same with my wife, brought her to Brown Thomas, up the red steps, Louboutins in my case and said take your pic. The shopping experience was half the thrill.

    This is the nature of war. By protecting others, you save yourself. If you only think of yourself, you'll only destroy yourself.

  • to be honest , im struggling with the idea of her wanting that kind of money spent on something like a handbag , I know a lot of women do really love bags but i would personally be embarrassed to have my Mrs carry a chanel bag around as i view such things as such a huge extravagance , not all bags , i spent several hundred on a Michael Korrs bag for her a number of years ago , five or six grand is a different matter though

    I dont view spending large amounts of money on travel as a waste so its not the sum total cost i have issues with

  • Does it have to be a surprise? Does she like those? Personally, I'm not into surprises at all.

    It's tricky asking a bunch of total randomers on the internet who don't know this person maybe. Women aren't a hive mind etc.

    I place very little value on either bags with metal letters on the front or west end shows, so what you've described would be disappointing if it was my 40th. A tree for the garden, or something for my bike would be more my thing.

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  • I'd be inclined to discuss it with my wife. I know the idea of a surprise is important to you, but is it as important to her? who is the surprise for? If you talk to her after the fact and you've gotten a trip, and she'd have much preferred the option you didn't pick (bag), she will likely be very disappointed.

    You said you wouldn't mind if she took her mum, which indicates you might hope that she takes you instead.. so the money spent would then be either partially on you or partially on her mum, not just her.

    The whole struggling with her walking around with a fancy bag? don't worry about that man, lots of ladies have high quality fakes, so everyone walking around with a Chanel logo hasn't necessarily spent several grand on it.

    With the amount of money involved, I think the value of the surprise is much lower than the value of getting the right amount of happiness and enjoyment for your fiancee for the large amount you are considering spending.

  • If you don't want to get her the bag then don't.. I'm not sure about a trip to London though, unless you are gonna pay a lot of money to make it a luxurious trip, London is very expensive for what it is, give me a cheap sun holiday any day

  • Arnotts have " pre loved " chanel bags on their site

    I see uk sites with used bags as well , obviously some people are content to buy used bags ?

  • Oh Lord please do not consider getting her a second hand bag or a fake. I can’t imagine she would be too impressed.

    I did the three day London trip for my fortieth and loved it but that was pre Covid times. I think given current circumstances it could be a while before you would be in a position to do something like that. I do get that some people would balk at spending such an extravagant amount of money on a bag but Chanel bags are almost like (a wearable) investment, an heirloom, the kind of thing you would keep forever. If she has mentioned it before then it might be the option to go with? Has she any sisters or friends you could consult to see what they think?

  • It appears stores both here and UK sell pre owned bags so it must be relatively common?

  • Whatever you do under no circumstances buy the second hand bag!

    You will be in bad books, anyway they are not even that much cheaper considering they are second hand.

  • Mad Maxx I really think you need to forget about surprise element, I actually couldn't think of anything worse.

    Imagine spending the money on chanel bag + it's not the one she wants!

    As someone else suggested why not book a day out say just before her birthday, go out for fancy lunch/ afternoon tea or whatever she likes then into Brown Thomas to pick the bag( that's even if they stock them they are very expensive!)

    If your going for trip abroad instead surely you would need to check first dates etc anyway with her?

  • Why the disdain for sustainability and re-use of heirloom goods?

    If these bags are ever-lasting, what's wrong with a vintage one?

  • Your still taking about €3,000- €5,000 and some of them already have good bit of wear and tear on them.

    They are usually leather so will age so why would you pay that money for one someone has already used + might not have taken care of properly.

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  • nobody should have a chanel bag

  • Vintage Chanel bags are much better quality than the new bags that Chanel are producing today. The prices have risen twice this year and the quality has dropped. If you fiancee wants a Chanel bag vintage is the way to go.

  • Just buy the lady her bag

  • €5k or €6k for a bag is crazy. Could never justify that.

  • It is becoming more common but I'd be a bit peeved if my OH bought me anything second-hand for a special birthday. Weekends away are not really for something extra special these days & if she brings her mother, then it's as much a gift for your MiL as for your fiancee.

    I'd agree with other posters, have a special birthday lunch in a lovely restaurant in dublin & visit BT to pick or order the bag of her choosing. Or you could plan an overnight trip to London or Paris for the two of you. You'd have two days to see the sights & go shopping for the bag while there, lots of fancy brand name shops in both cities. That would be a special treat imo.

  • a new chanel bag is up on 8 k from what i can see ?

  • Are these bags hand made, or mass produced in foreign sweatshops lol.

    I'd love to know. There was a story out around the start of Covid in Italy, that many Chinese were employed in the fashion industry around Milan and brought the virus with them after Chinese New Year spent in China. I often wonder if high fashion and ridiculously priced bags are a total scam!

    I wouldn't go to London personally right now, but if she wants a certain bag, that's what to get her. Within your 000s budget of course. It will make her happy for a longer time than a trip to London anyway.

  • You do you, but just to add an alternative opinion, I absolutely treasure gifts that have some history to them. The quality is often better than recent mass production and it’s better for the environment in general to reuse. It’s tricky to balance thinking about the planet and not being consumerist when you also love beautiful things, this way works for me.

    Two quick examples… I have a gorgeous 60’s ash ercol armchair that was a gift. It’s stunning looking and ridiculously comfortable. Modern furniture doesn’t come near the quality. I also have a blindingly beautiful Poole delphis platter, 70’s, secondhand. That was a milestone birthday gift from my mum who knows me well! :) Neither were crazy money I think (I Hope!). The plate was found in a charity shop. I love using both. The original craftspeople and artists are long finished producing so they are rare finds.

    I see vintage shops popping up alright more these days and am delighted to see that being a trend.

  • a new chanel bag is up on 8 k from what i can see ?

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