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  • #32
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    The chan chan man wrote: »
    Years ago my ex of 7 otherwise blissful years did the same thing. I walked in on her with a guy from work. Tears/promises etc etc etc “it’ll never happen again” and then i caught her texting him while we went away on a break to try repair our relationship. I learned a valuable lesson though.. you can’t trust anyone after they cheat. It’s horrible but the reality is it’s over.

    Almost identical situation to what I experienced and came to the exact same conclusion, cheating is an irredeemable offence when it comes to trust, ‘reasons’ don’t change that. Especially when they use the ‘mental health’ angle as an attempt to take some of the sting out of the consequences, deplorable humans don’t change.
    OP deserves a lot better than his current partner no doubt about it.


  • #33
    Neyite
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,948 ✭✭✭✭Neyite


    There are two people in a relationship. When it breaks down, both people need to put the effort in to repair it. One person can't do it alone - particularly when that person trying to fix it is getting zero effort from the person who wrecked it in the first place.

    So you can't fix this alone. And she doesn't want to. You called that condition a deal breaker, but it's not, is it? She's refused to do that one thing that would prove that she really wants to fix your relationship for you.
    I think her depression is a convenient excuse for her to wave away her behaviour and not take responsibility for her actions.

    Couples counselling will not help this - counselling works when people engage with it, and want to put the work in to fix their life. She doesn't. You can't fix this alone.


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