What's for you won't pass you.

job seeker

I hear a lot of people use this phrase. Personally, I think that it's BS. Purely used as a coping mechanism. I have not ever experienced something happen to me because it was for me.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

Your Face

Agreed - a coping mechanism.
Its for the salt of the earth sad-sacks at the bar who commiserate with each other over never really achieving anything of note. Every excuse under the sun for not even trying.

Leg End Reject

It's mostly confirmation bias when all the ducks line up, or consolation when they go askew.

It's human nature to try to make sense of life.

Ubbquittious

Yes it's a load of sh1t. Whats for you, you fcuking have to work hard for it, chase after it and bate it into submission and spend the rest of your days worrying nobody else will pull the rug out from under you

Thing is on this planet of 7 billion people whatever you manage to get your grubby paws on there's a veritable horde of others who want the same thing and you essentially have it at their expense in a lot of cases.

Strumms

I think people mean well when they say it, but it’s bs.

Examine the words in the sequence they are issued, it makes no sense.

Total passive attitude to life.

Antares35

So what's the point going out and working hard for anything, sure if it's for you it won't pass you anyway. Sad passive, victim approach to life really.

Sharpyshoot

Coitus after consuming vast quantities of viagra.

job seeker

Leg End Reject wrote: »

It's mostly confirmation bias when all the ducks line up, or consolation when they go askew.

It's human nature to try to make sense of life.

The thing is though, it doesn't even make sense.. The phrase isn't even based on chance ffs! :rolleyes:

RandomViewer

Antares35 wrote: »

So what's the point going out and working hard for anything, sure if it's for you it won't pass you anyway. Sad passive, victim approach to life really.

That's not my understanding of the phrase, basically if something bad is going to happen to you, disease death whatever, fate will prevail, fuxx all to do with money or life choices

Leg End Reject

job seeker wrote: »

The thing is though, it doesn't even make sense.. The phase isn't even based on chance ffs! :rolleyes:

No, but if you believe in fate you can justify anything. Delusional people are generally happier, because reality isn't always rosy.

Feisar

I fúcking hate the saying. It always self fulfills.

Kemo didn't go well, so yer meant to die, g'luck.

Leg End Reject

Feisar wrote: »

I fúcking hate the saying. It always self fulfills.

Kemo didn't go well, so yer meant to die, g'luck.

Up there with "God's plan" for the religious. Sometimes shıt just happens.

Antares35

RandomViewer wrote: »

That's not my understanding of the phrase, basically if something bad is going to happen to you, disease death whatever, fate will prevail, fuxx all to do with money or life choices

Why only bad things?

I make a lot of mistakes, but then again, I also have a lot of success.
if you've never made any mistakes, then you've probably never done anything worthwhile either.

job seeker

I was hoping to hear from someone who believes in this phrase actually.. I think it would be interesting to hear their point of view.

job seeker

job seeker wrote: »

I was hoping to hear from someone who believes in this phrase actually.. I think it would be interesting to hear their point of view.

Until just now, I'd never heard it before.
I was responding to others who were basically saying, things were bad without trying.

job seeker

Deleted User wrote: »

Until just now, I'd never heard it before.
I was responding to others who were basically saying, things were bad without trying.

I see, I hear so many people say it as I said in the op. So that's surprising.


For example.

My dad was out of work there about 5 years ago. He applied to a job and the two other people who went for the job didn't take it in the end. So he was like "If it's for you it won't pass you"

I explained to him:

1) People apply for a job all the time and don't take them when they are offered the job.

2) See the first point! :pac:

StupidLikeAFox

Its up there with "guesstimate". Its either a guess or an estimate pal, can't be both

job seeker

StupidLikeAFox wrote: »

Its up there with "guesstimate". Its either a guess or an estimate pal, can't be both

So bizarre like... :rolleyes:

job seeker

WhomadeGod wrote: »

The odds of you being born have been calculated at 1 in 400 trillion.

You are floating on a ball of rock and water in the middle of the universe with no idea who or what made it or why it was made.

To think that you are 100% control of whats going on and that there isn't greater powers at play in some manner is naive.

Explain to me how the above works. Or how one thing could be for me and something else is not???

I believe in Aliens, but that's not comparable at all..

Vestiapx

StupidLikeAFox wrote: »

Its up there with "guesstimate". Its either a guess or an estimate pal, can't be both

https://youtu.be/99OKmFLO4UE

Binomial solution by guestimates is an established method.

job seeker

WhomadeGod wrote: »

I wish I could explain what's it all about but I don't know what's going on myself unfortunately.

My post is as useful as a one legged man In an arse kicking contest

Just my belief that there's more to us just making day to day decisions at play.

Can you provide examples? Genuinely curious..

ILoveYourVibes

I think the idea is ...don't try fitting yourself into places that don't fit you and don't serve you.

Don't put a round peg into a square hole.

Or that is the way i look at it.

that is what the phrase means to me.

Trying to make things happen or stay in places that weren't good for me or try to please people who were not good for me was something I struggled with and STILL struggle with.

So i have to tell myself ..let it go like girl!

job seeker

job seeker wrote: »

I was hoping to hear from someone who believes in this phrase actually.. I think it would be interesting to hear their point of view.

Well here I am, job seeker, sure what's for you won't pass you

I think it is an excellent phrase with rather a deep philosophical grounding inherent in its contemplation. It encourages stoicosm and facilitates cheerful acceptance and ultimately contentment in the face of the illogical vagaries of life.

The observable fact is one can be a very hard worker, very talented, full of creative ideas etc and not "get ahead" while some mediocre but ingratiating simp who is good at licking the appropriate arse will rise instead. It happens all the time.

Life is full of unfairness and manipulation, uneven luck and inherited wealth and power. It is the lie of the American dream that if one puts the nose to the grindstone one will steadily win. Not true. No guarantees.

And at any moment the sh1t can hit the fan - a parent or child needs you to quit to become a full time carer, your back gets fcuked up, your accountant turns out to be a crook.

But if you adopt the attitude of working hard and being creative because it is your nature and a pleasure, but yet accepting that in spite of this you may not get the prizes deserved, and that is life, there is less likelihood of bitterness, disappointment, or any emotion that would suck the joy out of the goodness of being alive.

What is for you will not pass you by is a philosophical release of the striving for the distant or elusive goal or destination in favour of really enjoying the here and now journey.

Mad_maxx

its a silly saying ( but most sayings are objectively spurious ) but i dont believe that we are entirely in charge of our futures personally , it doesnt mean people have no choice what they do when they get up each day but i dont believe we can perfectly independently map out the course of our lives

two people can grow up in the same neighbourhood , both do well at school , stay out of trouble , graduate and start good jobs , one is driving home one evening and is killed by a drunk driver , the other just lives on and has a good life , both did the same thing up to the point where the universe or something intervened and changed everything

thats just one example of where we cant map out or own lives and future , you cant fight bad luck if its in the stars for you down the line

Antares35

Mad_maxx wrote: »

its a silly saying ( but most sayings are objectively spurious ) but i dont believe that we are entirely in charge of our futures personally , it doesnt mean people have no choice what they do when they get up each day but i dont believe we can perfectly independently map out the course of our lives

two people can grow up in the same neighbourhood , both do well at school , stay out of trouble , graduate and start good jobs , one is driving home one evening and is killed by a drunk driver , the other just lives on and has a good life , both did the same thing up to the point where the universe or something intervened and changed everything

thats just one example of where we cant map out or own lives and future , you cant fight bad luck if its in the stars for you down the line

I agree with you in terms of the lack of control we have, but are accidents and bad luck not just completely random? Just because someone has a crash doesn't mean it was always intended for them. I don't think we are a born with a map that has our destiny pre- written, although that might be veering into philosophical territory

Mad_maxx

Mad_maxx wrote: »

''What's for you won't pass you'' is a silly saying .....

you cant fight bad luck if its in the stars for you down the line

But but but :P

Wanderer2010

I dont think the saying means just sit back, do nothing and life will bring happiness, money and relationships to your feet. Its more a case of if you go out and try to make something of your life and it doesnt work out, which is inevitable on many occasions, there is a lesson in it and you have a choice- learn from it and try again or just give up, become a victim and let it define you.
The saying is broad and means that life is an endless opportunity to learn.

Mad_maxx

Antares35 wrote: »

I agree with you in terms of the lack of control we have, but are accidents and bad luck not just completely random? Just because someone has a crash doesn't mean it was always intended for them. I don't think we are a born with a map that has our destiny pre- written, although that might be veering into philosophical territory

both bad luck and good luck are random , beit being hit by a drunk driver or winning the lotto

the person involved did nothing to determine the outcome

Antares35

Mad_maxx wrote: »

both bad luck and good luck are random , beit being hit by a drunk driver or winning the lotto

the person involved did nothing to determine the outcome

I agree! Sorry my post only referred to bad luck as it was a reply but I think the same randomness applies both ways. I just don't think we are born with random good or bad luck mapped out for us.

Wanderer2010

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

I dont think the saying means just sit back, do nothing and life will bring happiness, money and relationships to your feet. Its more a case of if you go out and try to make something of your life and it doesnt work out, which is inevitable on many occasions, there is a lesson in it and you have a choice- learn from it and try again or just give up, become a victim and let it define you.
The saying is broad and means that life is an endless opportunity to learn.

Not sure where you get that. Reading it literally it’s saying your faith is inevitable. Regardless. It’s for you. It won’t pass you by.

Generally it’s meant kindly. After a breakup your assured that some relationship will happen again. It won’t pass you by.

Still a bit passive though.

Wanderer2010

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

I dont think the saying means just sit back, do nothing and life will bring happiness, money and relationships to your feet. Its more a case of if you go out and try to make something of your life and it doesnt work out, which is inevitable on many occasions, there is a lesson in it and you have a choice- learn from it and try again or just give up, become a victim and let it define you.
The saying is broad and means that life is an endless opportunity to learn.

Not sure where you get that. Reading it literally it’s saying your faith is inevitable. Regardless. It’s for you. It won’t pass you by.

Generally it’s meant kindly. After a breakup your assured that some relationship will happen again. It won’t pass you by.

Still a bit passive though.

Wanderer2010

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

I dont think the saying means just sit back, do nothing and life will bring happiness, money and relationships to your feet. Its more a case of if you go out and try to make something of your life and it doesnt work out, which is inevitable on many occasions, there is a lesson in it and you have a choice- learn from it and try again or just give up, become a victim and let it define you.
The saying is broad and means that life is an endless opportunity to learn.

Not sure where you get that. Reading it literally it’s saying your fate is inevitable. Regardless. It’s for you. It won’t pass you by.

Generally it’s meant kindly. After a breakup your assured that some relationship will happen again. It won’t pass you by.

Still a bit passive though.

bnt

That's a new one on me, but then I'm not from any Irish county. It sounds like something from The Secret, one of those wishful thinking "affirmations" you might hear from Gwyneth Paltrow or Deepak Chopra.

Mad_maxx

Antares35 wrote: »

I agree! Sorry my post only referred to bad luck as it was a reply but I think the same randomness applies both ways. I just don't think we are born with random good or bad luck mapped out for us.

i believe we are , of course how we respond is the crucial part but someone who doesnt encounter bad luck at a key moment does not face the same test as someone who does and so is less likely to fail

Tony EH

job seeker wrote: »

I hear a lot of people use this phrase. Personally, I think that it's BS. Purely used as a coping mechanism. I have not ever experienced something happen to me because it was for me.

It's a clumsy phrase, for sure, but there's a certain logic to it when you consider that life is 90% random luck. It's difficult to ascertain just how much good and bad fortune plays a part in everyone's life because it's so unquantifiable. But the reality is we have very little control over our lives in the long term.

We can make choices in the immediate term, and people often mistake their choices as "control". But you can make all the "right" choices at a particular time and still end up in the shitter due unforeseen curve balls that life will throw at you.

So I think the phrase is more about just learning to let things go, rather than to obsess about perceived lost victories that were never there for you to win in the first place. I think the phrase is just a nicer way of saying "deal with your shit and move on".

theoneeyedman

Your Face wrote: »

Agreed - a coping mechanism.
Its for the salt of the earth sad-sacks at the bar who commiserate with each other over never really achieving anything of note. Every excuse under the sun for not even trying.

What's a bar??

lawred2

When you work hard and dedicate yourself, what's for you might not go past you

Flute about scratching your hole acting like the world owes you a living, well then the above doesn't really apply.

Ficheall

* swipes left *

Tony EH

lawred2 wrote: »

When you work hard and dedicate yourself, what's for you might not go past you

Flute about scratching your hole acting like the world owes you a living, well then the above doesn't really apply.

This simply isn't true on any level.

You could work hard for a certain something all of your life and it may elude you.

Likewise, someone could sit on their arse and do nothing and something they want could arrive to them by sheer dumb luck.

The idea that by simply working "hard" you'll get what you want is nonsense.

amacca

Leg End Reject wrote: »

No, but if you believe in fate you can justify anything. Delusional people are generally happier, because reality isn't always rosy.

Id rather be happy than unhappy

With the caveat that my happiness is of the benign sort that doesn't necessitate the suffering of others.

Antares35

Mad_maxx wrote: »

i believe we are , of course how we respond is the crucial part but someone who doesnt encounter bad luck at a key moment does not face the same test as someone who does and so is less likely to fail

You believe we are born with our destiny pre- mapped out?

Bass Reeves

The older Generation had a saying ''it God's will''. Call it what you like Karma, luck, not being lucky or what's for you will not pass you by.

These expression come from having an acceptance of what life send you. They can be considered a positive or negative effect on your life. It back to when you see a half a glass of beer is it half full or half empty.

In life to an extent you make your own luck. However some of you life is dictated by what your parents attitude to education and life in general. As a friend says there is no allowance now for natural ability.

At school children are taught that it is possible to achieve anything on this life. However that is not entirely true. Unless you have certain natural abilities you will not achieve 550 points in your Leaving certificate. Now you can beat yourself up about not being able to study medicine or you can decide what's for you will not pass you by.

It's much the same when misfortune happen you can strive and look for some one else to blame or decide it karma. ''Sh!t happens'' as a friend once said to me ''if it wasn't sh!t it wouldn't happen''

blade1

I think "no good deed goes unpunished" is a more realistic saying.

arccosh

Mad_maxx wrote: »

both bad luck and good luck are random , beit being hit by a drunk driver or winning the lotto

the person involved did nothing to determine the outcome

technically incorrect ... in those scenarios you need to buy a lotto ticket or be somewhere close to moving vehicles for a drunk driver to hit you.... both scenarios are controllable to a certain extent

completely random, would be you lying in bed and a winning lotto ticket flying in through the window .... or you lying in the same bed, and a dunk driver crashing into your house, demolishing it and killing you in the process...

technically again, scenario two you could have some control over by living in a field nowhere near a road, an island without alcohol or a boat in the middle of a body of water where a drunk driver can't hit you

technically part two, for scenario 1, you would need a house with windows...

etc...

(sorry, I'm studying probability at the moment)

lawred2

Tony EH wrote: »

This simply isn't true on any level.

You could work hard for a certain something all of your life and it may elude you.

Likewise, someone could sit on their arse and do nothing and something they want could arrive to them by sheer dumb luck.

The idea that by simply working "hard" you'll get what you want is nonsense.

*Might not*

Bass Reeves

blade1 wrote: »

I think "no good deed goes unpunished" is a more realistic saying.

Or do not temp fate.

Reminds me of a story I heard. There was this lad that used to walk along the side of the road outside a small village towards the bus stop when he wanted to go to town. He never tumbled but people knew him and picked him up.

One day a lad asked him why he did not put his thumb out to indicate he wanted a lift. He replied ''that if there was an accident and the driver was at fault that he get a bigger payout because the car driver picked him up without him indicating he wanted a lift''.

People heard the story and less people picked him up and he had to take the bus more often. One morning he was walking out the road and a tire came off a truck and killed him.

Do not tempt fate

blade1

Bass Reeves wrote: »

Or do not temp fate.

Reminds me of a story I heard. There was this lad that used to walk along the side of the road outside a small village towards the bus stop when he wanted to go to town. He never tumbled but people knew him and picked him up.

One day a lad asked him why he did not put his thumb out to indicate he wanted a lift. He replied ''that if there was an accident and the driver was at fault that he get a bigger payout because the car driver picked him up without him indicating he wanted a lift''.

People heard the story and less people picked him up and he had to take the bus more often. One morning he was walking out the road and a tire came off a truck and killed him.

Do not tempt fate

There's also a saying "once a cnut, always a cnut"

Bass Reeves

blade1 wrote: »

There's also a saying "once a cnut, always a cnut"

TBH from what I heard he may not have the full shilling as the saying goes

Mad_maxx

Antares35 wrote: »

You believe we are born with our destiny pre- mapped out?

not exactly what i meant , No