Jealous neighbours

WoollyRedHat

WoollyRedHat wrote: »

When did the building work take place?

This has been going on the last year. I have been majorly constrained over the lockdowns, so all in all I would say building work over a scattered 5 week period of which at most 1 week was loud.

Its a manifestation with her, she had a builder in last summer hammering in the house till 8pm, I said nothing but was just thinking the hypocrisy.

Its the gossiping and spreading lies that is the real poison

KaneToad

KaneToad wrote: »

Do you make unecessary noise? Play music outside... Barking dogs...keep pigeons? etc...

9 times out of 10 it's noise that irks neighbours. One person's idea of acceptable noise is very different from another's.

Nope, I would class myself as pretty quiet,I'm out of the house Monday to Friday from 7.30 am to 6pm, I have my kids at the weekend and don't leave them out in the garden till after 10.30 and I would only ever cut grass or hedges after that time also.

Have no dogs either.

Actually it was her last summer blasting music that I couldn't even sit in my kitchen and she'd open the back doors too. So I was thinking after was that her hoping the neighbours thought that was me

Samuel T. Cogley

Sue her for defamation and take her house!

Alternatively ignore what sounds like the neighbourhood header.

Darc19

Darc19 wrote: »

Next time she harks at you tell her that she has two choices.

A - start minding her own business

Or

B - look forward to legal proceedings for defamation as you have two statements from other neighbors regarding false allegations she made against you.



Have a couple of letters in your hand in different styles and with black lines over pretend names.


Tell her that one more false allegation to anyone will see an immediate commencement of proceedings and that you have been told you would win a case hands down get compensation of about €15,000 and she'd be liable for all the legal costs and most likely it will be in the local paper

And say that there will be no further warning.

Thats not a bad idea to be fair.

JohnMcm1

JohnMcm1 wrote: »

Neither is hers.

To be honest I wouldn't do that as you are dragging other neighbours in unfairly as I would be disturbing them to get at her

Bio Mech

Darc19 wrote: »

Next time she harks at you tell her that she has two choices.

A - start minding her own business

Or

B - look forward to legal proceedings for defamation as you have two statements from other neighbors regarding false allegations she made against you.



Have a couple of letters in your hand in different styles and with black lines over pretend names.


Tell her that one more false allegation to anyone will see an immediate commencement of proceedings and that you have been told you would win a case hands down get compensation of about €15,000 and she'd be liable for all the legal costs and most likely it will be in the local paper

And say that there will be no further warning.

That’s a great idea. That’ll settler her.

so just to update, i have a builder there and this week work was mainly outside. today they are slabbing a ceiling. Every day she has been out hassling them saying she is sick of it and she is going further. She made these threats before, at this stage any builder or vendor that calls are getting harassed. She is lying about the extent and with her talk to the builder today you'd swear its been ongoing which it hasnt. She even said most people would get 10 people in and have it done in a day. At this stage i am considering legal action to get her to back off, its constant the minute i do anything in my house.
Literally no work was happening since last summer which was at most 2 or 3 days work.

punisher5112

Surprised the builder doesn't tell her to fcuk right off to be honest.

You need to stand up to her and tell her this is it, no more.

JimmyVik

Deleted User wrote: »

so just to update, i have a builder there and this week work was mainly outside. today they are slabbing a ceiling. Every day she has been out hassling them saying she is sick of it and she is going further. She made these threats before, at this stage any builder or vendor that calls are getting harassed. She is lying about the extent and with her talk to the builder today you'd swear its been ongoing which it hasnt. She even said most people would get 10 people in and have it done in a day. At this stage i am considering legal action to get her to back off, its constant the minute i do anything in my house.
Literally no work was happening since last summer which was at most 2 or 3 days work.

Ive a friend who sold her house on the quiet without advertising because she had a neighbour like yours. Other people on the road sold before and as soon as the signs went up said neighbour was over questioning everyone who looked at the house about where they were from and did they have a dog. how many cars did they have. Put most of them off.
This neighbour needs to understanmd that SHE is the nightmare neighbour to people.
Get a solicitor to convey this to her.

Cuddlesworth

Deleted User wrote: »

so just to update, i have a builder there and this week work was mainly outside. today they are slabbing a ceiling. Every day she has been out hassling them saying she is sick of it and she is going further. She made these threats before, at this stage any builder or vendor that calls are getting harassed. She is lying about the extent and with her talk to the builder today you'd swear its been ongoing which it hasnt. She even said most people would get 10 people in and have it done in a day. At this stage i am considering legal action to get her to back off, its constant the minute i do anything in my house.
Literally no work was happening since last summer which was at most 2 or 3 days work.

Grow a backbone and tell her to get lost. And let your builder know the same. You can amp things up, be childest. But the best course of action is to just simply and calmly ignore her. Limited responses, "go away", "then sue me", "no".

If your worried about your reputation, I wouldn't care in the slightest. Its really unlikely your other neighbours don't already know what she is like and pay her lip service.

spaceHopper

Deleted User wrote: »

so just to update, i have a builder there and this week work was mainly outside. today they are slabbing a ceiling. Every day she has been out hassling them saying she is sick of it and she is going further. She made these threats before, at this stage any builder or vendor that calls are getting harassed. She is lying about the extent and with her talk to the builder today you'd swear its been ongoing which it hasnt. She even said most people would get 10 people in and have it done in a day. At this stage i am considering legal action to get her to back off, its constant the minute i do anything in my house.
Literally no work was happening since last summer which was at most 2 or 3 days work.

She will never be happy and you will never please her, tell her she's going to have to suck it up and stop complaining as it going to do no good. We did an extension and you should have heard the noise and vibration next door the builder drilled hindrents holes on the brick work to open up a door between two rooms. Our neighbours didn't mind.

Mad_maxx

Deleted User wrote: »

so just to update, i have a builder there and this week work was mainly outside. today they are slabbing a ceiling. Every day she has been out hassling them saying she is sick of it and she is going further. She made these threats before, at this stage any builder or vendor that calls are getting harassed. She is lying about the extent and with her talk to the builder today you'd swear its been ongoing which it hasnt. She even said most people would get 10 people in and have it done in a day. At this stage i am considering legal action to get her to back off, its constant the minute i do anything in my house.
Literally no work was happening since last summer which was at most 2 or 3 days work.

builders are rarely a precious bunch , if they dont tell her where to go , they are not worth having around the place

Browney7

[Deleted User] wrote: »

so just to update, i have a builder there and this week work was mainly outside. today they are slabbing a ceiling. Every day she has been out hassling them saying she is sick of it and she is going further. She made these threats before, at this stage any builder or vendor that calls are getting harassed. She is lying about the extent and with her talk to the builder today you'd swear its been ongoing which it hasnt. She even said most people would get 10 people in and have it done in a day. At this stage i am considering legal action to get her to back off, its constant the minute i do anything in my house.
Literally no work was happening since last summer which was at most 2 or 3 days work.

Builder should tell her to take it as far as she wants and you won't be stopping be work. Or else keep the kango hammer going whilst she's ranting and raving.

DuffleBag

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Other neighbour told me she is money obsessed and a very jealous person, wants the best house on the road. When I am doing any bit of improvements she is out complaining, threatening solicitors letters, guards etc., trying to figure out how to deal with her. I have tried the nicey nicey approach, I have tried the ignoring approach but its very hard when she is in your face whenever I start something in the house,

Whatever about the one next to you gossiping, sounds like you and the other neighbour are doing a fair bit yourself...

Mimon

The neighbour must have mental issues OP?

In any case she would hassle workmen coming to my house once and I'd tell her in no uncertain terms that was unacceptable. A verbal kick up the hole would be delivered.

December2012

If she wanted to send a solicitors letter, she would do that. So let her.
Really - what can she do? You will not satisfy her, so why try?

The only thing you’re doing wrong here OP is mollying her at all and giving one **** what she says. Tell her to piss off.

Batattackrat

I wouldn't even say hello to her. She's love if you told her to **** off.

Let her rant and get on with your daily work. Just ignore her and don't acknowledge her and that will drive her bananas.

mrslancaster

Very annoying to see posters here stating the cranky neighbour must have mental health issues. it's a bit of a jump & happens a lot as I've read it on a few different threads.

That neighbour comes across as a busybody, grumpy & bad tempered, a gossip & a bully. The constant complaining must be a nuisance for the OP but it doesn't mean they have a mental illness. If they have then they need professional help. mental health issues can be very serious & its really time people stopped using a medical issue as a derogatory slur.

Mimon

mrslancaster wrote: »

Very annoying to see posters here stating the cranky neighbour must have mental health issues. it's a bit of a jump & happens a lot as I've read it on a few different threads.

That neighbour comes across as a busybody, grumpy & bad tempered, a gossip & a bully. The constant complaining must be a nuisance for the OP but it doesn't mean they have a mental illness. If they have then they need professional help. mental health issues can be very serious & its really time people stopped using a medical issue as a derogatory slur.

Seriously, harrasing workmen going to a neighbours house is not normal behaviour hence why it has been speculated about the person having mental health issues.

I wasn't using it as a slur so get down off your high horse and cop on.

Graces7

Feeling for you OP.

When you are a decent kind person it comes very hard to be in a position where you have to stand up to an aggressor, which is what this is.

But it really is the only way forward and to any peace and resolution - and you know everyone here is with you on this.

And many of us totally understand and have been through it.

Says me, sitting on a small isolated island with no neighbours! And even here a row with one man as his collie was barking all night every night. We had a blazing row finally and I said that next time I would call the Gardai. Stopped him dead, " You cannot call the Gardaí about a barking dog.! "
"At one in the morning you can".
He was gobsmacked..

It stopped after that and when it happened just one night recently? It was stopped as soon as he was informed . ( I said i was worried there was something wrong at the house!)

Yes it IS very very hard. I felt sick ( and worse) the whole time I was sorting it.

We basically get the conditions we will allow in these matters. I am lucky as we are still good neighours! I don't think that with this one you have that will happen!

If it happens again, yes, get a formal letter sent. And DO NOT ANSWER THE DOOR TO HER. Just ignore her.

It is not bad manners; it is self defence .

mrslancaster

Mimon wrote: »

Seriously, harrasing workmen going to a neighbours house is not normal behaviour hence why it has been speculated about the person having mental health issues.

I wasn't using it as a slur so get down off your high horse and cop on.

It came across as a slur to me. Also on other threads.
You may be in a job or some position to speculate on a person's mental health but IMO the flippant use of " they must be mentally ill" or similar phrases is unnecessary. A very close friend of my brother suffered with mental health issues & sadly died from suicide. High horse indeed

Goldengirl

Had similar problems with an adjoining neighbour when we were getting work done .

Nothing you can do about those that listen to someone like that , but no doubt in time they too will know the truth of the matter , because she will have the knife in them too !

I would do whatever work you have to do in your own house that you are legally allowed to do,
Say nothing , pass her with a brief nod , and if she doesn't take the hint , and accosts you again, tell her you don't want to discuss it any further and she should mind her own business .

That's what I ended up doing nearly 6 months after our build finished, as she wouldn't stop ringing and mithering me over other things that I could do nothing about , and while it upset me greatly at the time , we now pass each other politely and no more headmelting anymore .

Darc19

mrslancaster wrote: »

It came across as a slur to me. Also on other threads.
You may be in a job or some position to speculate on a person's mental health but IMO the flippant use of " they must be mentally ill" or similar phrases is unnecessary. A very close friend of my brother suffered with mental health issues & sadly died from suicide. High horse indeed

the "Mental Health" card is now played so flippantly by and casually by so many people, those with real mental health issues are at risk of getting smothered.

A bit like the "what about the vulnerable elderly people" (they survived wars, long electricity outages, fuel shortages, food rationing and frequent water outages) and are more than capable of holding their own far better than many of the young snowflakes.

and the other abused phrase is "what about the children" - again children are far more adaptable than their snowflake parents.

So 100% agree, the flippant use of "mental health issues" does no favours to anyone and you can be sure those who use it =casually have no understanding of real mental health issues.

In the op's situation the neighbour should be told to STFU or face defamatory proceedings which will cost her thousands.

mrslancaster

mrslancaster wrote: »

Very annoying to see posters here stating the cranky neighbour must have mental health issues. it's a bit of a jump & happens a lot as I've read it on a few different threads.

That neighbour comes across as a busybody, grumpy & bad tempered, a gossip & a bully. The constant complaining must be a nuisance for the OP but it doesn't mean they have a mental illness. If they have then they need professional help. mental health issues can be very serious & its really time people stopped using a medical issue as a derogatory slur.

Exactly. Sometimes a person is just a bad egg and it’s not always “mental health”. Gets trotted out far too easily these days.

CianRyan

The above comments are assuming 2 things,
1. All mental health issues refer to depression.
2. Discussing the irrational behaviour of some one and suggesting they may have mental health issues is an insult.

Neither statement is true and as some one who had had mental health issues in the past, I agree. This woman may have untreated issues which lead her to be explosive and irrational.
Approaching someone like this with an aggressive temperament will never get you far, if she doesn't respond to reason then calmly tell her you'll need to refer her to your legal aid or speak to her family instead. She may genuinely need help.


Or she could be a bitch, either way there's no use telling her to **** off. They'll still have to live beside her.

DuffleBag

DuffleBag wrote: »

Whatever about the one next to you gossiping, sounds like you and the other neighbour are doing a fair bit yourself...

No the other neighbour is trying to calm the situation whilst also being upset about what she's being told

Thanks for all the replies, its a crazy situation.

The builder told her do what she needs to do, then she replied most normal people get 10 people in and finish it in a day not have it going on and on. I don't have 70k to do up my house in one go. As I said previously I have not done work in 10 months, the first lockdown stopped any momentum.

She was ranting at my builders and they were in shock at the craziness, she then pinned a neighbour and was pointing at my house saying this is not on. I will chat to that neighbour when I see him.

Regarding mental health, I think that is a possibility but I also think she is just a bully, she is in a management role in the HSE and from my experience I would dread working for her.

I am probably going the legal route, growing a pair doesn't work with her, she is getting worse and not better cos she hasn't been challenged. Is it better to ignore and let her rant and then received a solicitor letter or for me to send one first to tell her to back off. If i respond to a letter then it looks like retaliation

killbillvol2

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies, its a crazy situation.

The builder told her do what she needs to do, then she replied most normal people get 10 people in and finish it in a day not have it going on and on. I don't have 70k to do up my house in one go. As I said previously I have not done work in 10 months, the first lockdown stopped any momentum.

She was ranting at my builders and they were in shock at the craziness, she then pinned a neighbour and was pointing at my house saying this is not on. I will chat to that neighbour when I see him.

Regarding mental health, I think that is a possibility but I also think she is just a bully, she is in a management role in the HSE and from my experience I would dread working for her.

I am probably going the legal route, growing a pair doesn't work with her, she is getting worse and not better cos she hasn't been challenged. Is it better to ignore and let her rant and then received a solicitor letter or for me to send one first to tell her to back off. If i respond to a letter then it looks like retaliation

Send her the letter. This has already gone on too long. Put an end to it. Your solicitor will advise exactly what to say. It'll be the best money you ever spent.

Graces7

Deleted User wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies, its a crazy situation.

The builder told her do what she needs to do, then she replied most normal people get 10 people in and finish it in a day not have it going on and on. I don't have 70k to do up my house in one go. As I said previously I have not done work in 10 months, the first lockdown stopped any momentum.

She was ranting at my builders and they were in shock at the craziness, she then pinned a neighbour and was pointing at my house saying this is not on. I will chat to that neighbour when I see him.

Regarding mental health, I think that is a possibility but I also think she is just a bully, she is in a management role in the HSE and from my experience I would dread working for her.

I am probably going the legal route, growing a pair doesn't work with her, she is getting worse and not better cos she hasn't been challenged. Is it better to ignore and let her rant and then received a solicitor letter or for me to send one first to tell her to back off. If i respond to a letter then it looks like retaliation

Hey! YOU have done nothing wrong! SHE is the aggressor so get a solicitor;s letter sent to HER asap.

SHE is the one needs stopping, not YOU! Take the initiative; see your solicitor as in tomorrow!

Unless YOU do something this will just go on and get worse. Life is too short;

"Thus far and no further"!

Immediately!