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Pregnant and alone update



  • Zebrag wrote: »
    Read previous post you answered too. Birth certificate

    Okay, well, I don't know what advice your mother was given in 1992, but I do know it's not relevant to Porklife in 2021. Back in the 90s entering an unmarried father's name on a birth certificate did not grant any them any automatic rights, and by itself, it still doesn't today. The only grounds I know of that allows for the removal of a father's details from a bc is where its shown he is not the biological father.

    If your mother had passed away while you were still a minor, your father could still have made an application to the courts for guardianship and custody of you, irrespective of what was on your birth certificate.

    Fathers can apply for access, custody and guardianship right up until a child's 18th birthday.

  • Neyite wrote: »
    Right now, detach from the lot of them entirely. You have more important things to focus on and their feelings on your pregnancy or plans for the future are utterly irrelevant. I wouldn't tell them you are in labour. The last thing you need is his mother outside the labour ward /antenatal causing a fuss. Covid restrictions might work well in your favour here.

    In terms of what you need for the baby, do you have what you need?

    Porklife, I'm not going to add a huge amount to the thread. A lot of good advice already given, imo.

    I'm just going to say that you're a lot stronger than you even think you are. And I'm going to echo what Neyite has said. Yes, there's a lot to work out. Of course there is. And do grab hold of all the information you can in relation to legalities and whatever else.

    But, for now, step back, give yourself a break and when you're ready, focus on the purely practical stuff. The lists, the hospital bag, the nitty gritty stuff...all of that.

    Mind yourself.
    You are going to be a great mother.

  • Porklife wrote: »
    Thank you so much Purple :):):):) Just a lovely post. Yep, I've looked into One Parent Payment and have loads of onesies and little tops for him. I'm a sucker for dinosaurs.. if i see a dinosaur on a top I'm like... i'll take 10!! This little due is gonna be ok. As for me, well writing here has massively helped and hopefully as time goes by I start to feel better. It's so crazy. I can't tell if it's hormones or if i'm just insane but one minute i'm so happy and the next i'm in floods of tears. Let's hope it's just hormones and if so.. jesus, they're a right bastard aren't they!! I rememeber my sister saying when she was pregnat she just left one evenng. She stood up, looked at her partner and said.. well, that's me done.. see ya :) She went to her firends house for a week to get her **** together.
    Roll on May, thats all I can say :)

    Dinosaurs are the cutest! I was a sucker for dino related stuff as well. Those days are gone now but I've still all that stuff in storage that I'll rehome as soon as lockdown is over.

    I'm glad writing here has helped - and the parenting forum is a great support as well, it was for me in the early days when I'd have questions or queries or worries.

  • Nothing to add to the above posts other than to agree you're making the right decision.

    Just one other little thing I noticed- you mentioned drinking...was this a "thing"? If so just mind yourself post partum. Right now you have an amazing excuse not to drink but (am I'm not trying to freak you out- genuinely!) babies can be tiring ... just make sure you have support if you need it in that aspect.