She doesnt seem interested in my life

Calypso Realm

bitofabind wrote: »

. Constant interruptions to bring it back to them, one upmanship on stories and experiences, unable to hear anyone else unless it's in the context of them and their experiences of what they're being told.

You've really hit the nail on the head here Bitofabind-this very accurate description applies to SO many people, to some degree or other! Including a good number I come/came in close contact myself. So annoying. Frankly I've managed to 'distance' myself from some individuals, while with others, it's not so easy.

A near neighbour, who incorporates all these traits, springs to mind, as normal conversation if utterly impossible. Every time we meet (mostly I avoid her but occasionally it's necessary to speak to her) and on each occasion, I'm invariably subjected to one of her seemingly endless, blow-by-blow, rants about the latest issue she's having with-the school, hospital, pharmacy, work-you name it she's had it with them! When it's my turn to speak, she has, on practically every occasion, interrupted me mid-sentence (when I'm talking about something entirely different) to bring the conversation back to herself or start talking about her own experiences re what I'm telling her! Jeez, so frustrating, annoying and utterly draining!

The thing is though, she's so self-absorbed, she's completely unaware of the effect her actions are having on me! Cues another person would pick up on, are completely lost on her! People really need to be more self-aware! And get out of their own heads, for a change in order to have good relationships with others!

redfox123

All I can say is it’s the single most common problem in relationships. Not really being with the person in both mind and body, as in they may be sitting there beside you but not really present. And that in itself leads to all the other relationship issues.

I think the lockdowns have probably emphasised it for a lot of couples, not having outlets and regular gathering with others understandably means you can’t actually keep up so much interest and focus on one person day in day out.

She sounds like a good person, but I would make more effort to engage emotionally with her. As in ask her more questions on how she feels. Being honest she probably isn’t really interested in small talk or on your particular hobbies, after a long day. I know I’m not when my partner comes home a lot of the time I’m so tired it’s hard to talk, I just want to be with him even while quiet, without meaningless ramblings. But I’ve all the time in the world for a deeper conversation, which most won’t want after work. But I’m ok with that.

AndrewJRenko

I was thinking about this thread while witnessing my sister-in-law dishing out the presents to her family of teenagers. She managed to make it all about her, how hard she had worked to get particular presents, how much work she had put into the wrapping. If the kids didn't respond with just enough glee and delight at each opening, she'd go all passive aggressive about how they could always change the item in question because she had the receipts.

This is where you might end up if you marry the other person, OP.

Gruffalux

Do something interesting together regularly that gives ye a mutual topic to rap on at the time. Like wind surfing or investing in stocks and shares. Whatever. Just something.

She sounds nice in other ways. It can be boring listening to others. Maybe tell good jokes. Or be mysterious and witty.