Would anyone else prefer to be alone at Christmas?

gctest50

You could always get some cats


https://www.catsaid.ie/support-us/foster/

Ubbquittious

pinkyeye wrote: »

Sad times really, if I'm honest I'd rather not celebrate this year whilst Mam is so sick. Then they all say you're being a misery guts feeling sorry for yourself.

Don't mind them. If you're not feeling up to it then there's no point in pretending to be jolly. It is a sh1tty time and you don't owe it to anybody to keep them entertained.



No harm in staying at home by yourself, light the fire make the place good and cosy, load up on sweets and comfort food and spend the days watching films and wait for the Christmas to pass.

pinkyeye

gctest50 wrote: »

You could always get some cats


https://www.catsaid.ie/support-us/foster/

Ah I already have a cat and a dog.

Or if you're trying to be sarcastic then feck off. :D

fluke

OP go with your gut instinct in what you feel is the best all round course for you, and stick to it.

HildaOgdenx

pinkyeye wrote: »

I think people maybe misunderstood my original post. My mother is also in Dublin and her house is normally the centre of all the action but obviously this year it simply can't be. She's terrified of getting Covid or getting any infection because if she ends up in hospital she won't have any visitors. She took a bad turn a couple of weeks ago and we thought she would have to go to the hospital or hospice and the terror in her eyes was unreal to see. She just doesn't want to be alone in a hospital or hospice. Don't blame her.

I know what people are saying, that I should go and have Christmas with her but she doesn't want to choose any of us for Christmas Day and she doesn't want a big crowd. We have asked her what she wants and she simply doesn't want the fuss. One of us will prepare dinner for her and Dad either way and deliver it.

I agree somewhat that the lads should just get off their arses and come down but they've girlfriends in Dublin too and I just don't want them down on a guilt trip, it wouldn't be any fun, I'd rather just spend the day alone like any other day and have a dinner for everyone a week beforehand or a week after or something.

Sad times really, if I'm honest I'd rather not celebrate this year whilst Mam is so sick. Then they all say you're being a misery guts feeling sorry for yourself.

That was what I picked up from your OP, pinky, that your mam didn't want anyone visiting. Very understandable, poor thing.

I'd go with as you said, having a nice dinner with your family, before or after Christmas Day, and just take things easy on the day itself. To heck with anyone and what they say.

Mind yourself.

zerosugarbuzz

When your children have flown the nest and particularly when they don't want to come home for Christmas, it time for you to prioritise yourself and your Mam. Spend whatever money would have been spent on your sons gifts, food etc on you and your Mam. Have the best Christmas possible. Order a cooked turkey with all the trimmings from your local hotel, I'm sure they'd appreciate the business. Have the best Christmas ever, just the two of you.

branie2

No, as I like to be with my family.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

pinkyeye wrote: »

I think people maybe misunderstood my original post. My mother is also in Dublin and her house is normally the centre of all the action but obviously this year it simply can't be. She's terrified of getting Covid or getting any infection because if she ends up in hospital she won't have any visitors. She took a bad turn a couple of weeks ago and we thought she would have to go to the hospital or hospice and the terror in her eyes was unreal to see. She just doesn't want to be alone in a hospital or hospice. Don't blame her.

I know what people are saying, that I should go and have Christmas with her but she doesn't want to choose any of us for Christmas Day and she doesn't want a big crowd. We have asked her what she wants and she simply doesn't want the fuss. One of us will prepare dinner for her and Dad either way and deliver it.

I agree somewhat that the lads should just get off their arses and come down but they've girlfriends in Dublin too and I just don't want them down on a guilt trip, it wouldn't be any fun, I'd rather just spend the day alone like any other day and have a dinner for everyone a week beforehand or a week after or something.

Sad times really, if I'm honest I'd rather not celebrate this year whilst Mam is so sick. Then they all say you're being a misery guts feeling sorry for yourself.

I think you'e putting too much interest in other peoples' wishes, and feck them. You Mum has spoken, she's the one who counts, so be it. Bring the dinner and give her as much or as little time as she wants, and fair play. Get yourself some nice dinner too and and expensive bottle of whatever you like. You deserve it.

I've thrown Orphan's Chstimas paties for the last few years for people who couldn't get home or didn't have familty, but spent last Chrsitmas alone (alebit with my friend's cat who I agreed to host for a week) and it was nice and peaceful not having to put up with other peoples ****. Recommended.

JustAThought

pinkyeye wrote: »

She has said for years that she would like to go to a hotel for Christmas and Dad never would. Raging now we never forced him to do it .

Very sorry to hear about your mother OP. What I am doing for my filks this year is getting them a hamper of fancy foods for Christmas - M&S, Donnybrook Fair & to a leaser degree Avoca have them - kind of exotic’s up the day, takes
the pressure off for cooking and gives it a twinkle it might not otherwise have. Some of these places also will provide the ham and turkey or a side of salmon ... might be an interesting novelty and lot less hassle for your mother/father to ‘cook’.

I had a (half) Christmas alone once and thou I decided it was going to be ok it really wasn’t. I
missed the one day a year despite all the shennnigans that goes with it. I’d make
your sons do an outside the window visit and maybe serve them mince pies out the door and make them watch Mass on the internet ! It is a dY that is supposed to be in some way meaningful & family and not a pissup with mates from dusk to dawn. There is also the Q if other families with older parents will let them visit over/in this year - it might be quite different to what they want or expect too.

I had an elderly family member in hospital 2 years ago and everybody felt they wouldn’t mind because it was Christmas Day but really they were too busy to bother to visit - I drove over & they were delighted to have someone make a fuss and show they cared even if it was just for an hour. I hate to think what it will be like for
some in nursing homes this year.

I’d +1 for getting your sons to man up, make a fuss, buy presents and apprar at the outside of their window for some present unwrapping & family time. If nothing else it will show their grandparents that they care after their years of attention and love and envelopes. I can’t imagine your mother being disappointed that they bothered and stayed in the garden while chatting inside to them on the phone or having the craic yelling in the window! If nothing else it will provide a warm fuzzy glow and something to taLk about!

Allinall

I don't have any advice to give.

However, this thread should be linked over to the Covid threads and made compulsory reading for all the gob****es whinging about not being able to go for pints or buy jumpers.

It puts things into perspective.

OP. Whatever you decide, I hope your Mum has a peaceful and stress free Christmas.

Feisar

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

I think you'e putting too much interest in other peoples' wishes, and feck them. You Mum has spoken, she's the one who counts, so be it. Bring the dinner and give her as much or as little time as she wants, and fair play. Get yourself some nice dinner too and and expensive bottle of whatever you like. You deserve it.

I've thrown Orphan's Chstimas paties for the last few years for people who couldn't get home or didn't have familty, but spent last Chrsitmas alone (alebit with my friend's cat who I agreed to host for a week) and it was nice and peaceful not having to put up with other peoples ****. Recommended.

The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world and all that.

mariaalice

Why not get a fancy Christmas dinner delivered to your parents along with chocolates and wine for Christmas, or a semi-ready Christmas dinner from the likes of M&S and do the same for yourself then zoom or talk to them on Christmas day plus talking about what was in the M&S food hamper would be a conversation the person who is sick might want other things to talk about other that been ill and it would be a little like a hotel experience as its is fancy food cooked by someone else.

Let your sone do their own thing.

Jenna James

fluke wrote: »

OP go with your gut instinct in what you feel is the best all round course for you, and stick to it.

I was going to say something similar.

I really think you should do what feels right in your gut.

You are absolutely allowed to have a range of high emotions/thoughts at the moment and whatever sits best with you is the right decision IMO.

pinkyeye

mariaalice wrote: »

Why not get a fancy Christmas dinner delivered to your parents along with chocolates and wine for Christmas, or a semi-ready Christmas dinner from the likes of M&S and do the same for yourself then zoom or talk to them on Christmas day plus talking about what was in the M&S food hamper would be a conversation the person who is sick might want other things to talk about other that been ill and it would be a little like a hotel experience as its is fancy food cooked by someone else.

Let your sone do their own thing.

It's quite a good idea mariaalice. There was a local place used to deliver the whole shebang, turkey, ham, veg etc. Turkey and Ham cooked, rest of ready to go in the oven/pot but don't know what the story is with them this year with Covid, anyway, Mam and Dad wouldn't even need a turkey crown or ham. She's only eating like a mouse and he doesn't have a huge appetite either.

To be honest, she will only get up out of bed out of sympathy for him. Currently she only manages 2 hours tops out of bed a day, some days she doesn't get up. Heartbreaking.

Graces7

pinkyeye wrote: »

It's quite a good idea mariaalice. There was a local place used to deliver the whole shebang, turkey, ham, veg etc. Turkey and Ham cooked, rest of ready to go in the oven/pot but don't know what the story is with them this year with Covid, anyway, Mam and Dad wouldn't even need a turkey crown or ham. She's only eating like a mouse and he doesn't have a huge appetite either.

To be honest, she will only get up out of bed out of sympathy for him. Currently she only manages 2 hours tops out of bed a day, some days she doesn't get up. Heartbreaking.

Do Wiltshire Foods deliver in your area? They do lovely meals and their Christmas goodies look ….. I have friends in the Uk who use the firm all year a couple of times a week . I know they cover a few areas in Ireland now . There will be other firms> NB I am not near eg M and S so maybe they are excellent! Start looking seriously so you can book in time?

Graces7

pinkyeye wrote: »

It's quite a good idea mariaalice. There was a local place used to deliver the whole shebang, turkey, ham, veg etc. Turkey and Ham cooked, rest of ready to go in the oven/pot but don't know what the story is with them this year with Covid, anyway, Mam and Dad wouldn't even need a turkey crown or ham. She's only eating like a mouse and he doesn't have a huge appetite either.

To be honest, she will only get up out of bed out of sympathy for him. Currently she only manages 2 hours tops out of bed a day, some days she doesn't get up. Heartbreaking.

She knows best.. I only get up for essentials most days now. That way I can enjoy the little I do.