Do you think men can be close friends with women?

mr_fegelien

Without anything more going on? I used to hear someone in school say that unless a man is gay or finds his female friend really unattractive, a male-female friendship is bound to have romantic/sexual attraction develop between the two.

But that seems very naive and childish. I'm sure there are married men that have close female friends as they do with lads.

What I find interesting in Ireland (as pointed out to me by continental European friends and Australian, American friends) is that in Ireland, there's this weird gender segregation that goes on past secondary school. In many other countries, boys and girls are self conscious and immature so they tend to avoid each other up until they become adults and enter college. In college, this usually disappears but for the Irish, it seems that men and women are very cliquey. Men stay with men and women stay with women. If you look at the Facebook posts of Irish guys and girls you see it's mainly guys in a group of guys and girls in a group of girls even in college gaffes.

Why do you think that is?

Notmything

Fair play for your environmentalism and recycling topics:

https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=112067072

440Hertz

That hasn't really been my experience. My college friends were most definitely mixed.

simongurnick

I had friends that were girls but deep down I wanted to bang them all.

Insidious

It's possible of course! It's just you need to have slept with them first.... Once that's out of the system it can be great! ðŸ˜

440Hertz

As a bi guy, in that case, I'd be doomed to friendlessness!

I can actually manage to differentiate between friends & sex and I'm sure straight men can too.

At last year's Christmas work party (remember those?) I was talking to by far the best looking girl all night.

She looked stunning, you know the way the plain enough girl during office hours makes a huge effort for the Xmas staff party and suddenly looks smoking. We randomly sat alongside each other for the meal and hadn't really chatted much to each other at the office for the last couple of years and had loads to talk about, especially about who to bitch about.

We went out to the smoking shed and other men from different companies sharing our venue tried chatting her up, but she had no interest in them and we continued our conversation in our own little bubble.

But here's the thing OP, there was no awkward sexual attraction getting in the way of our conversation. Just a good old chin wag. So, yeah, it's possible.

Incidentally, we're marking the third year of our divorce next week.

Skill Magill

Deleted User wrote: »

At last year's Christmas work party (remember those?)

Why wouldn't we remember last years Christmas work party?

Skill Magill

Skill Magill wrote: »

Why wouldn't we remember last years Christmas work party?

If you can remember it were you even really there, eh? :pac: But, meant work events in general.

I shared a bed with a beautiful Swedish woman for like six months while we both dated other people. We were plutonic best friends and it just felt normal somehow.

Regis779

I think there can be, I have a guy that is a friend and don't feel any sexual attraction. Just purely enjoying his company and liking him as a person

dubbrin

Deleted User wrote: »

I shared a bed with a beautiful Swedish woman for like six months while we both dated other people. We were plutonic best friends and it just felt normal somehow.

Did it ever get awkward when one of you would bring the other half around to stay?

stoneill

440Hertz wrote: »

As a bi guy

That's just greedy.

UI_Paddy

mr_fegelien wrote: »

I used to hear someone in school say that unless a man is gay or finds his female friend really unattractive, a male-female friendship is bound to have romantic/sexual attraction develop between the two.

But that seems very naive and childish. I'm sure there are married men that have close female friends as they do with lads.

Very naive and childish. I've been with my girlfriend/ now fiance for 6 years and still have good female friends that I bond with having no ulterior motives.

sbsquarepants

simongurnick wrote: »

I had friends that were girls but deep down I wanted to bang them all.

I've had plenty of female friends i didn't have sex with - but i would have done without a doubt if it ever came up (pardon the pun;)). I've only had 1 in all my years who i genuinely had no real interest in banging, she was a really lovely girl but she looked like an ewok god love her.......and i probably still would have.


I'm the sort of person who can't help but find some attractive feature in practically everyone. I once fancied the pants off this one girl because she had a slightly hooked nose, countless others because of their eyes and if you have red hair, proceed to the top of the line.


So in short, it may work for some people but there's practically always some sort of a sexual element to it for me.

Gruffalux

Friends, yes. Good solid real friends. Friends who can chat easily over a whole life time about mutual interests and have a good laugh, and talk about life's problems in a general and supporting way. Friends who genuinely care about the other, admire them as a good human being and who you would mourn for if they died.
But "close" suggests very confiding, emotionally intimate, exclusive of others. Maybe I am misinterpreting the word. I don't think that it is healthy for a person with a partner to have a different person of the opposite sex (if heterosexual, same sex if homosexual) to whom they are excessively close and emotionally intimate. There is something emasculating for the man about a woman stringing along a man friend in that way, close but never all the way. I don't know what the word is if a man maintains a woman in that kind of place but it is the same. Maybe if the close friend has really subsumed or embodied a maternal/paternal/sibling role it would be possible...

Wanderer78

stoneill wrote:

That's just greedy.

Or maybe they're just bi

greenspurs

mr_fegelien wrote: »

Without anything more going on? I used to hear someone in school say that unless a man is gay or finds his female friend really unattractive, a male-female friendship is bound to have romantic/sexual attraction develop between the two.

But that seems very naive and childish. I'm sure there are married men that have close female friends as they do with lads.

What I find interesting in Ireland (as pointed out to me by continental European friends and Australian, American friends) is that in Ireland, there's this weird gender segregation that goes on past secondary school. In many other countries, boys and girls are self conscious and immature so they tend to avoid each other up until they become adults and enter college. In college, this usually disappears but for the Irish, it seems that men and women are very cliquey. Men stay with men and women stay with women. If you look at the Facebook posts of Irish guys and girls you see it's mainly guys in a group of guys and girls in a group of girls even in college gaffes.

Why do you think that is?

Notmything wrote: »

Fair play for your environmentalism and recycling topics:

https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=112067072

Thats 3 threads since "he" returned that he has just rehashed ... same topic, just a little difference in phrasing !!

How the f*** is this sh1t allowed go on unchecked !!
THis kind of fcukery is ruining boards.....

greenspurs

greenspurs wrote: »

Thats 3 threads since "he" returned that he has just rehashed ... same topic, just a little difference in phrasing !!

How the f*** is this sh1t allowed go on unchecked !!
THis kind of fcukery is ruining boards.....

I assumed I was in After Hours, hence the joke. With that said, others have responded with genuine answers and the thread, if not the OP, has merit.

440Hertz

Wanderer78 wrote: »

Or maybe they're just bi

Ah! sure at this stage, I’m well used to snide comments about being bi, both from people who think they’re utterly hilarious and those with an axe to grind from either side of the fence.

Meh!

Church on Tuesday

I think you can be friends but not really close friends TBH.

A lot of men who are friends with women want to be a lot more than friends, let's be honest here, the other way around not so much.

Fuascailteoir

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

I think you can be friends but not really close friends TBH.

A lot of men who are friends with women want to be a lot more than friends, let's be honest here, the other way around not so much.

When you get past your 20s it is possible. I think around then you realise that having more than one woman on the go really just means more than one woman to nag you to death

99nsr125

440Hertz wrote: »

As a bi guy, in that case, I'd be doomed to friendlessness!

I can actually manage to differentiate between friends & sex and I'm sure straight men can too.

We can't

99nsr125

Fuascailteoir wrote: »

When you get past your 20s it is possible. I think around then you realise that having more than one woman on the go really just means more than one woman to nag you to death

You're right about the nagging part

99nsr125

Gruffalux wrote: »

Friends, yes. Good solid real friends. Friends who can chat easily over a whole life time about mutual interests and have a good laugh, and talk about life's problems in a general and supporting way. Friends who genuinely care about the other, admire them as a good human being and who you would mourn for if they died.
But "close" suggests very confiding, emotionally intimate, exclusive of others. Maybe I am misinterpreting the word. I don't think that it is healthy for a person with a partner to have a different person of the opposite sex (if heterosexual, same sex if homosexual) to whom they are excessively close and emotionally intimate. There is something emasculating for the man about a woman stringing along a man friend in that way, close but never all the way. I don't know what the word is if a man maintains a woman in that kind of place but it is the same. Maybe if the close friend has really subsumed or embodied a maternal/paternal/sibling role it would be possible...

Yeah but no that's impossible for guys, eventually the temptation of titties and a her mouth on your cock is too much

99nsr125

Regis779 wrote: »

I think there can be, I have a guy that is a friend and don't feel any sexual attraction. Just purely enjoying his company and liking him as a person

He's just softening you up for when you get his hard on in your hands

jay1988

stoneill wrote: »

That's just greedy.

That's a dick comment right there, grow up.

Kimbot

Most of my closest friends for the last 20 odd years are women so yes men can be close friends with women without anything going on.

sbsquarepants

jay1988 wrote: »

That's a dick comment right there, grow up.

Does being bi preclude a sense of humour or what - it was clearly meant as a joke!

sbsquarepants

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Does being bi preclude a sense of humour or what - it was clearly meant as a joke!

A joke should have some element of originality, not just a repeated trope. Example, you could have picked up on their use of dick and suggested. 'That's a dick/vag comment right there, grow up.'

sbsquarepants

Shít. Another opportunity missed

Wibbs

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

I think you can be friends but not really close friends TBH.

A lot of men who are friends with women want to be a lot more than friends, let's be honest here, the other way around not so much.

I've close women friends throughout my life. No attraction going on from either party. Like sisters I suppose. The only thing I've noted is when marriage comes along they will inevitably drift away down to occasional how's life type calls. I suppose it's the "how do I explain away a male friend in matrimonial suburbia when people might start assuming things" effect going on? If we were once an item I can well understand it and wouldn't be into maintaining friendships in those setups and never have. Now male mates can drift away in a similar fashion but it's not as obvious in my experience. Funny enough I've heard those same women mates note that women friends of theirs can do a similar drifting away. Until they end up at the same stage as them.

Shanotheslayer

My best mate is a women and I plan to have her in as my "Best Man" when I get married

Church on Tuesday

Wibbs wrote: »

I've close women friends throughout my life. No attraction going on from either party. Like sisters I suppose. The only thing I've noted is when marriage comes along they will inevitably drift away down to occasional how's life type calls. I suppose it's the "how do I explain away a male friend in matrimonial suburbia when people might start assuming things" effect going on? If we were once an item I can well understand it and wouldn't be into maintaining friendships in those setups and never have. Now male mates can drift away in a similar fashion but it's not as obvious in my experience. Funny enough I've heard those same women mates note that women friends of theirs can do a similar drifting away. Until they end up at the same stage as them.

I personally don't find that to be the case, I have always found male friendships to be closer, of course I have had valued female friendships too, just not to the extent of male friendships where I would in general have more in common with naturally enough I suppose.

I agree with your second point although friendships in general are hard to maintain as you get older.

When I was younger I probably had more female friends than male, but now (excluding my wife) I don't have any, bar one I'd have text conversations with occasionally. And she was from when I was a teenager. I think as we get older our interests diverged too much.

I really enjoyed having female friends when younger, but think it'd be weird now.

Kylta

greenspurs wrote: »

Thats 3 threads since "he" returned that he has just rehashed ... same topic, just a little difference in phrasing !!

How the f*** is this sh1t allowed go on unchecked !!
THis kind of fcukery is ruining boards.....

I know your trying to enlighten posters about the OP rehashing bolloxology threads, and that I find admiral. After all some posters might like the OPs Maybe there just on the same wavelength or maybe there bored and have nothing interesting going at the moment and they need to post.
I personally think the OP is some sort of computer programme (a faulty one at that)that has a set of basic words, like gay/bi/sex/ women etc in it and it shoots out threads hoping it can garner interest from posters. Hey but that's just my opinion.
Greenspurs, keep up your crusade, in my opinion is am admiral cause.

9db3xj7z41fs5u

Kylta wrote: »

I know your trying to enlighten posters about the OP rehashing bolloxology threads, and that I find admiral. After all some posters might like the OPs Maybe there just on the same wavelength or maybe there bored and have nothing interesting going at the moment and they need to post.
I personally think the OP is some sort of computer programme (a faulty one at that)that has a set of basic words, like gay/bi/sex/ women etc in it and it shoots out threads hoping it can garner interest from posters. Hey but that's just my opinion.
Greenspurs, keep up your crusade, in my opinion is am admiral cause.

This is a random but somewhat related question. On the DailyMail, there can be two diametrically opposed top comments on different articles about the same topic. Furthermore, occasionally on Boards there are comments that do not make sense in the context of the average Irish person on the street‘s mentality. Are they bot comments or bot likes?

Kylta

Molly Short Barbiturate wrote: »

This is a random but somewhat related question. On the DailyMail, there can be two diametrically opposed top comments on different articles about the same topic. Furthermore, occasionally on Boards there are comments that do not make sense in the context of the average Irish person on the street‘s mentality. Are they bot comments or bot likes?

I think that depends on what the question is and who answers the question. If your either for or against the said question. But take for instance the irish sunday papers, the majority of the news is just rehashed weekly new. There's one sunday newspaper that is constantly rehashing the criminality in our society weekly, is it good reporting. No its lazy reporting, instead of somebody doing an investigated reported, you have somebody rehashing old reports. Hence I'd find no value in rehashed reports, saying that if you rehashed them every six months it would then be classed has catching up on events. Therefore its always going to be the opinion of the reader, hence whether he's for or against

I have 5 close female friends, I don't see why this would even be a foreign concept to people.

Up Donegal

I'm with someone and I also have a circle of female friends. Sometimes when I'm around town and bump into one of them, we'll have a coffee and a chat. Yet there are those see us who will automatically assume that there is something going on between us that shouldn't be!!