Why do so many people become dry so young?

pgj2015

I am mid thirties, don't go out as much as I used to at all but I still love a rave now as much as I did when I was 25. most of my mates are in their 20's lol ah no they are from 25-37. some of the lads who are only around 30 wont go to a rave or lads holiday to Ibiza etc anymore.

so what makes some people want to settle down when they are still young? like its a long time to 80 if ya make it that far.

JohnnyFlash

AA

andekwarhola

I thought only people in the late 40s to mid 50s used the word 'Rave' these before being shushed by their mortified children.

pgj2015

andekwarhola wrote: »

I thought only people in the late 40s to mid 50s used the word 'Rave' these before being shushed by their mortified children.

I have heard big techno DJs in their 20's saying raves, ravers etc so the only mortified people are your children.;)

RurtBeynolds

It's got nothing to do with settling down. Just good taste.

Alrigghtythen

andekwarhola wrote: »

I thought only people in the late 40s to mid 50s used the word 'Rave' these before being shushed by their mortified children.

So I'm not a square what word do the kids dig these days for a shindig?

andekwarhola

Alrigghtythen wrote: »

So I'm not a square what word do the kids dig these days for a shindig?

Fck knows :pac:

What a word shindig is though

Chris_Heilong

People have always settled down young, it was only around the mid 80s to now that people are waiting until their late 30s to settle and then realise all the downsides that come with that.

Slim Charles

Because it was a decent thing to do when young and full of life, im in my thirties now and dont want to jeopardise my job by missing two days trying to recover from drinking till all hours with people I dont like. Give me a night in on the cans with our lass any day.

pgj2015

Alrigghtythen wrote: »

So I'm not a square what word do the kids dig these days for a shindig?

dont know, I dont really care what the kids say.

bop1977

Can’t handle the hangovers.

I duno but I'd loooove a good night out in the pub now

andekwarhola

pgj2015 wrote: »

dont know, I dont really care what the kids say.

Get your kids to show you youtube embedding skillz, grandad.

pgj2015

Slim Charles wrote: »

Because it was a decent thing to do when young and full of life, im in my thirties now and dont want to jeopardise my job by missing two days trying to recover from drinking till all hours with people I dont like. Give me a night in on the cans with our lass any day.

im self employed so that doesn't bother me.

pgj2015

andekwarhola wrote: »

Get your kids to show you youtube embedding skillz, grandad.

calm down.

andekwarhola

pgj2015 wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=er2lzvlfPCE

5:58

calm down.

Too late, I'm telling your Big Techno DJ Mates.

LuasSimon

Young people are too busy protesting these days to be going to raves

pgj2015

andekwarhola wrote: »

Too late, I'm telling your Big Techno DJ Mates.

lol I posted the wrong video, ah who cares, enjoy the music.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-sMMGsr_cE

The Mighty Quinn

bop1977 wrote: »

Can’t handle the hangovers.

This is probably a big part.

I too am mid 30s. I enjoyed a drink in my 20s, often to excess, but not at the bad end of things. I earned less money yet had far more disposable cash. I should have used it wiser... However I had many a night out, many a hangover.

I also occasionally dabbled with ecstasy. It was great fun until it wasn't. The last time I took them, some 7 years ago, the come down was so severe it put me off for life. Drink is similar on a lesser scale. I can't cope with the hangovers.

I also couldn't afford it, would end up being an absentee employee or father or both.

Being "dry" is living life fuller as far as I'm concerned.

pgj2015

The Mighty Quinn wrote: »

This is probably a big part.

I too am mid 30s. I enjoyed a drink in my 20s, often to excess, but not at the bad end of things. I earned less money yet had far more disposable cash. I should have used it wiser... However I had many a night out, many a hangover.

I also occasionally dabbled with ecstasy. It was great fun until it wasn't. The last time I took them, some 7 years ago, the come down was so severe it put me off for life. Drink is similar on a lesser scale. I can't cope with the hangovers.

I also couldn't afford it, would end up being an absentee employee or father or both.

Being "dry" is living life fuller as far as I'm concerned.

You dont have to be off your head at a gig every weekend, im talking about 3 or 4 times a year.

Feisar

Thirty-six, still enjoy a good session, priorities shift though, our baby is almost a year old so there are more important things in life than waking up wondering where I am and who the hell is that. Plus my wife wouldn't be impressed!

I woke up one time beside a friend on a large couch, she asked me, "did we have sex?" I reached down, gave the wee lad a rub, had a sniff and said, "no." They say leopards don't change their spots but that lad is gone, hopefully.

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

pgj2015

Feisar wrote: »

Thirty-six, still enjoy a good session, priorities shift though, our baby is almost a year old so there are more important things in life than waking up wondering where I am and who the hell is that. Plus my wife wouldn't be impressed!

I woke up one time beside a friend on a large couch, she asked me, "did we have sex?" I reached down, gave the wee lad a rub, had a sniff and said, "no." They say leopards don't change their spots but that lad is gone, hopefully.

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

I hope you dont regret it when you are older.

andekwarhola

Although i'd have fallen squarely into the raving category, it's not the worst thing in the world if young to middle aged people have more leisure and lifestyle options now. You don't always have to default to one lifestyle.

L1011

I used to go to club nights all across the country (mostly NI, cause Dublin crowds had a high scumbag %, and the regional cities rarely got the acts that even regional towns in NI got then), England, Amsterdam. Usually two or three festivals a year. Random pile of non-dance gigs, some in the UK.

Then I got a mortgage. At 24.

Barely went on holiday for three years afterwards, no nights out further than my local. Got one holiday to Copenhagen when there were four airlines / five flights a day fighting it out for maybe one flight of passengers in winter and the return for two was €50 with a checked bag.

By the time I'd recovered enough discretionary spend I couldn't hack the hangovers, the club nights running to 6am, flying in at 10pm and out at 9pm, etc etc. Had booked a four day festival this summer - but a 4* hotel walking distance from the site rather than the camping or holiday cottages - and was fully expecting to maybe lose day 3 to staring at the ceiling in the hotel.

Feisar

pgj2015 wrote: »

I hope you dont regret in when you are older.

Well there are always trade offs. At some stage you gotta ask yourself, like in the old Arnie classic Conan, "what is best in life?"

I spent my twenties drinking and fúcking my demons away. Somewhere between there and here I found peace.

The Mighty Quinn

Feisar wrote: »

Thirty-six, still enjoy a good session, priorities shift though, our baby is almost a year old so there are more important things in life than waking up wondering where I am and who the hell is that. Plus my wife wouldn't be impressed!
[/I]

What he said. I too have a wife and child.

I don't need or want 3 or 4 nights a year to be off my head. I will have a few beers when I feel the urge, but I don't miss being out of my mind.

If I'm being entirely honest, there are brief moments when I do feel a pang for the days of casual sex and the chase. Until I remember there were far far more days being miserable over women and hollow sex and drunkenness than good ones.

I've nothing to regret when I'm older.

pgj2015

L1011 wrote: »

I used to go to club nights all across the country (mostly NI, cause Dublin crowds had a high scumbag %, and the regional cities rarely got the acts that even regional towns in NI got then), England, Amsterdam. Usually two or three festivals a year. Random pile of non-dance gigs, some in the UK.

Then I got a mortgage. At 24.

Barely went on holiday for three years afterwards, no nights out further than my local. Got one holiday to Copenhagen when there were four airlines / five flights a day fighting it out for maybe one flight of passengers in winter and the return for two was €50 with a checked bag.

By the time I'd recovered enough discretionary spend I couldn't hack the hangovers, the club nights running to 6am, flying in at 10pm and out at 9pm, etc etc. Had booked a four day festival this summer - but a 4* hotel walking distance from the site rather than the camping or holiday cottages - and was fully expecting to maybe lose day 3 to staring at the ceiling in the hotel.

I reckon we will be back raving again this time next year. full capacity

Is it not kind of tragic to be partying like you're 18 when you're in your 40s?

pgj2015

andekwarhola wrote: »

I'm not the one crying on a forum on a Friday night about my mates swerving me, dude.

I still go out with them mates but not to techno gigs. still have plenty to go to gigs with.;)

Figel Narage

Never liked raves or drugs or alcohol anyway. Never liked waking up past 12 PM with a hangover and a bunch of money I could've spent on something else. Awfully empty feeling that I never enjoyed. May sound boring but somehow I've never been described as such. They were never my thing although I'm still young enough so maybe I might get into them after a mid life crisis.............

pgj2015

Deleted User wrote: »

Is it not kind of tragic to be partying like you're 18 when you're in your 40s?

im not 40 but I wouldn't agree with ya to be honest. I dont party like I did when I was 18 either, im talking about a few techno gigs a year.

live and let live, i wouldnt judge anyone of any age clubbing. There are people in their 40's and 50's who are a lot cooler than some 25 year old who thinks they are old.

the_syco

pgj2015 wrote: »

some of the lads who are only around 30 wont go to a rave or lads holiday to Ibiza etc anymore.

Haven't gone to Ibiza yet; it's too hot for me. More into metal. In saying that, the last time I went to an illegal rave until 8am in a warehouse somewhere in Tallaght was a few months back. I'm only 38 though.

The Mighty Quinn wrote: »

Drink is similar on a lesser scale. I can't cope with the hangovers.

Although I drink less than I used to, I know what I can handle now. I can get fairly drunk, but still be able to walk home. Or I can get nearly fairly drunk and slow the pace down a bit.

Have found out what food to have next day to cure the hangover. Found a feed at around 7pm and again at 3am, and a sh|te before I hit the bed will ensure the hangover isn't that bad next day.

In saying that, I can no longer go on a 4 day bender Can only go on a 2 day bender before I need sleep or my body starts to rebel (the fear?).

Feisar wrote: »

Thirty-six, still enjoy a good session, priorities shift though, our baby is almost a year old so there are more important things in life than waking up wondering where I am and who the hell is that. Plus my wife wouldn't be impressed!

IMO, outlook of life changes when you have a kid. I know of one lad whom I thought would have been dead long ago, either by drinking & doing every drug that he could get his hands on, or just pissing off the wrong person (he had a knack for that); got a kid, copped the fcuk on.

The Mighty Quinn

pgj2015 wrote: »

im not 40 but I wouldn't agree with ya to be honest. I dont party like I did when I was 18 either, im talking about a few techno gigs a year.

live and let live, i wouldnt judge anyone of any age clubbing. There are people in their 40's and 50's who are a lot cooler than some 25 year old who thinks they are old.

Yeah I agree with you on the live and let live. Probably just the worrier in me, but I can't help but think a person in their 20s can usually take a hammering with drink and drugs. A person in their 50s is more likely to impacted worse?

Maybe not. A 50 something year old taking pills probably has their heart under more pressure than a 20 something.

SEPT 23 1989

Your family and work are your anchors

They stop you drifting

A tear up every now and again never did a man any harm

pgj2015

The Mighty Quinn wrote: »

Yeah I agree with you on the live and let live. Probably just the worrier in me, but I can't help but think a person in their 20s can usually take a hammering with drink and drugs. A person in their 50s is more likely to impacted worse?

Maybe not. A 50 something year old taking pills probably has their heart under more pressure than a 20 something.

lol never thought about that, but if they are fit and healthy im sure they would be fine. :pac:

the_syco

The Mighty Quinn wrote: »

Probably just the worrier in me, but I can't help but think a person in their 20s can usually take a hammering with drink and drugs. A person in their 50s is more likely to impacted worse?

A person in their 20's will take anything, and drink to impress others. A person in their 50's will know who to buy from, will know how to spot bad quality drugs, and will have more experience in knowing how to pace themselves.

The Mighty Quinn

pgj2015 wrote: »

lol never thought about that, but if they are fit and healthy im sure they would be fine. :pac:

At some point the risk:reward ratio makes it not worth gambling your life for a fun night. This will obviously vary wildly from person to person, and indeed many people have no idea of their own tolerance or otherwise until they dabble. Usually no ill consequence, sometimes fatal consequences.

Feisar

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

Your family and work are your anchors

They stop you drifting

A tear up every now and again never did a man any harm

As my grandad used to say, “a little madness now and then is relished in the best of men.”

pgj2015

The Mighty Quinn wrote: »

At some point the risk:reward ratio makes it not worth gambling your life for a fun night. This will obviously vary wildly from person to person, and indeed many people have no idea of their own tolerance or otherwise until they dabble. Usually no ill consequence, sometimes fatal consequences.

meh sure look at all the people who have locked themselves into their houses because of covid-19, im talking about young healthy people. fcuk it ya gotta live.

The Mighty Quinn

the_syco wrote: »

A person in their 20's will take anything, and drink to impress others. A person in their 50's will know who to buy from, will know how to spot bad quality drugs, and will have more experience in knowing how to pace themselves.

Maybe. And if its a regular habit for the older person, they will have learned a bit along the way. However if its some fella on a stag with a bunch of lads who decides "feck it, I'll try it", well, results could be bad. Of course they'll probably be no worse than a hangover or tiredness.

L1011

pgj2015 wrote: »

I reckon we will be back raving again this time next year. full capacity

Festival tickets have rolled over to 2021.

2020 hadn't sold out pre-COVID, I believe the remaining capacity has since sold out for 2021!

pgj2015

L1011 wrote: »

Festival tickets have rolled over to 2021.

2020 hadn't sold out pre-COVID, I believe the remaining capacity has since sold out for 2021!

what festival were you going to?

Church on Tuesday

It's called maturity.

Seanachai

Life can beat you up a bit, mentally and physically, responsibility even if you're single can weigh you down a bit. I do believe life is cyclic though and there's no reason why a healthy person couldn't go back into a scene later in life if they wanted to.

I barely drink anymore, I do enjoy it when I do though and I'll have a smoke too, I mightn't have the yen to do it again for a month.

Some people are in relationships with controlling partners that keep them on a tight leash, I have a friend in this situation. He had 3-4 pints last Christmas and the phone started hopping for him to go home and he had barely been out during the year. He seems drained, even though there's still a bit of a spark in him.

I wonder sometimes if the push to legalise drugs is people in their 30's-50's wanting pharma-grade substances because they can't handle the harsh comedowns anymore.

L1011

pgj2015 wrote: »

what festival were you going to?

Luminosity outside Amsterdam.

Probably going to be a constant trickle of refund resales as they're letting anyone with a 2020 ticket refund up until the week or so before.

SusieBlue

One of my best friends is like this, she lives in fear that there’s a murderer around every corner. We can usually manage her pretty well but booking holidays is an absolute nightmare because she can be so unreasonable.

Case in example, she visited her sister in Oz a few years back and stopped over in Kuala Lumpur en route. She didn’t like the airport and it freaked her out so now she refuses to go to anywhere in Asia.
She won’t consider Thailand, Indonesia, Vietnam, China or Cambodia as travel destinations because she didn’t like one airport, which she never even left. Her layover was only a few hours and yet she has written off a whole continent cause of it.

We’re late 20’s now but when we were younger we did the usual stints in Ibiza/Magaluf which she never came on because she was too afraid.
Last year we did a multi city trip to the west coast of the USA, and for weeks she refused point blank to consider Las Vegas as one of the stops.
This was the first and only time none of us would back down, we told her she’d have to find another city to go to on her own for a few days because no way were we missing out. She had a miraculous change of mind, went, and absolutely loved it.

We started discussing potential trips for next year yesterday and we were all really excited at the idea of going to Dubai, and now she’s sulking because she doesn’t want to go and she’d rather go to Lanzarote for a 2 week package holiday instead and no one is up for it.

We pandered to her for years so it’s probably our fault too but it’s exhausting trying to convince her we aren’t about to be raped and murdered in any location that isn’t a Spanish tourist trap.
Her lack of enthusiasm and dryness has ruined the atmosphere on many an occasion, I don’t understand how she cheats herself out of so many amazing experiences because she’s afraid of the worst case scenario happening.

pgj2015

SusieBlue wrote: »

One of my best friends is like this, she lives in fear that there’s a murderer around every corner. We can usually manage her pretty well but booking holidays is an absolute nightmare because she can be so unreasonable.

Case in example, she visited her sister in Oz a few years back and stopped over in Kuala Lumpur en route. She didn’t like the airport and it freaked her out so now she refuses to go to anywhere in Asia.
She won’t consider Thailand, Indonesia, Vietnam, China or Cambodia as travel destinations because she didn’t like one airport, which she never even left. Her layover was only a few hours and yet she has written off a whole continent cause of it.

We’re late 20’s now but when we were younger we did the usual stints in Ibiza/Magaluf which she never came on because she was too afraid.
Last year we did a multi city trip to the west coast of the USA, and for weeks she refused point blank to consider Las Vegas as one of the stops.
This was the first and only time none of us would back down, we told her she’d have to find another city to go to on her own for a few days because no way were we missing out. She had a miraculous change of mind, went, and absolutely loved it.

We started discussing potential trips for next year yesterday and we were all really excited at the idea of going to Dubai, and now she’s sulking because she doesn’t want to go and she’d rather go to Lanzarote for a 2 week package holiday instead and no one is up for it.

We pandered to her for years so it’s probably our fault too but it’s exhausting trying to convince her we aren’t about to be raped and murdered in any location that isn’t a Spanish tourist trap.
Her lack of enthusiasm and dryness has ruined the atmosphere on many an occasion, I don’t understand how she cheats herself out of so many amazing experiences because she’s afraid of the worst case scenario happening.

You definitely wont ever see her again when she settles down with some guy/girl.

pgj2015

L1011 wrote: »

Luminosity outside Amsterdam.

Probably going to be a constant trickle of refund resales as they're letting anyone with a 2020 ticket refund up until the week or so before.

cool, hopefully it will go ahead next year so.

pgj2015

Seanachai wrote: »

Life can beat you up a bit, mentally and physically, responsibility even if you're single can weigh you down a bit. I do believe life is cyclic though and there's no reason why a healthy person couldn't go back into a scene later in life if they wanted to.

I barely drink anymore, I do enjoy it when I do though and I'll have a smoke too, I mightn't have the yen to do it again for a month.

Some people are in relationships with controlling partners that keep them on a tight leash, I have a friend in this situation. He had 3-4 pints last Christmas and the phone started hopping for him to go home and he had barely been out during the year. He seems drained, even though there's still a bit of a spark in him.

I wonder sometimes if the push to legalise drugs is people in their 30's-50's wanting pharma-grade substances because they can't handle the harsh comedowns anymore.

A few of my mates are like that as well, its sad to see.

If a women isnt a raver/partier I couldnt see myself ever being with someone like that.

L1011

pgj2015 wrote: »

A few of my mates are like that as well, its sad to see.

If a women isnt a raver/partier I couldnt see myself ever being with someone like that.

Easy answer to that - find your partner in that scene. Its two tickets I have for that festival for a reason

It also isn't a woman, but there's plenty of women in to it.

screamer

I think it’s called growing up and it happens to most of us at some time between mid 20s and 30s.
Thank Christ. The old slobbering 50 something year olds who think they’re hard men on the drink in the pub are the ones who I think never grew up and wasted their lives pissing them away.