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so naked right now!

  • 17-04-2020 11:05pm
    #1
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 784 ✭✭✭


    so don't know if anyone else is feeling this new found freedom but lately I have been compelled to be naked on the sofa most nights.


«1

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 823 ✭✭✭The chan chan man


    No


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 258 ✭✭Wanderer19


    I would, but I don't wanna scare the kids


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 784 ✭✭✭LaFuton


    its not even sexy, just watching a movie and the heat is on


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,769 ✭✭✭Pinch Flat


    I've been walking around the house in the nip


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,445 ✭✭✭Rodney Bathgate


    LaFuton wrote: »
    its not even sexy, just watching a movie and the heat is on

    Beverly Hills Cop?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 133 ✭✭Urethral Buttercup


    Flaccid length, erect length, any discoloration, pockmarks or moles, build up of grime beneath the hood, smell of john west, dirt under your nails. Just give us the stats ffs.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 784 ✭✭✭LaFuton


    Beverly Hills Cop?

    cabin in the woods, obv...


    but yes... THE HEAT IS OONNN WOOHAHAYAHOOO


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 784 ✭✭✭LaFuton


    Flaccid length, erect length, any discoloration, pockmarks or moles, build up of grime beneath the hood, smell of john west, dirt under your nails. Just give us the stats ffs.

    kellys eye! thanks to Jackie in Killyleagh


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,084 ✭✭✭statesaver


    LaFuton wrote: »
    so don't know if anyone else is feeling this new found freedom but lately I have been compelled to be naked on the sofa most nights.

    You live alone :P


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,599 ✭✭✭RocketRaccoon


    The gender is very important in this


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,381 ✭✭✭✭Potential-Monke


    Having had my own house for a few years, and renting by myself for many years before it, and now living at home with the elderly parents, yes, I miss being nekkid in the house. It's a great feeling. Don't know if the neighbours would be impressed, but if they're staring in my windows, it's their fault that they get 2 eyes full of nekkid, (then)overweight, short ,ginger (then) Garda.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 133 ✭✭Urethral Buttercup


    statesaver wrote: »
    You live alone :P

    We're all alone pal. Always and forever. Get with the possum. Grind it.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 784 ✭✭✭LaFuton


    but its lovely


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 133 ✭✭Urethral Buttercup


    I couldn't sit on the sofa covering in case a stay piece of fecal matter stained the linen cotton combo.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,970 ✭✭✭6541


    Do you live with anyone, if so are they not disgusted by your new found coronavirus lockdown body shape ?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,546 ✭✭✭An Ri rua


    LaFuton wrote: »
    so don't know if anyone else is feeling this new found freedom but lately I have been compelled to be naked on the sofa most nights.

    Username checks out


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 784 ✭✭✭LaFuton


    I couldn't sit on the sofa covering in case a stay piece of fecal matter stained the linen cotton combo.

    pays to be well wiped in general should one take the sudden notion of getting naked.

    sometimes if there's a sink by the loo u can wet the tissue for the first 2 wipes and confidently dry off with a brisk 3rd dry wipe


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 784 ✭✭✭LaFuton


    move over #cmo!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,381 ✭✭✭✭Potential-Monke


    LaFuton wrote: »
    pays to be well wiped in general should one take the sudden notion of getting naked.

    sometimes if there's a sink by the loo u can wet the tissue for the first 2 wipes and confidently dry off with a brisk 3rd dry wipe

    Or, buy toilet wet wipes. One wipe with wet wipe, subsequent wipes with tissue to dry. Bliss.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,807 ✭✭✭Badly Drunk Boy


    LaFuton wrote: »
    its not even sexy, just watching a movie and the heat is on
    Then turn the heat off.


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  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,315 ✭✭✭nthclare


    Or, buy toilet wet wipes. One wipe with wet wipe, subsequent wipes with tissue to dry. Bliss.

    1 wipe, fold repeat and fold again.

    That's how the nuns used to ration the toilet roll, no wonder they smelled like piss...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,381 ✭✭✭✭Potential-Monke


    I'm pretty sure even Jesus would forgive them for the small luxury of wet wipes for yer hole.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 784 ✭✭✭LaFuton


    but then u left with unflushable shame mayhem!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 133 ✭✭Urethral Buttercup


    nthclare wrote: »
    1 wipe, fold repeat and fold again.

    That's how the nuns used to ration the toilet roll, no wonder they smelled like piss...

    So you're a folder, in industry slang. I'm a schruncher and will be till I die. Grab a bunch and schrunch it up, then apply that sweet white tissue rose to my smelly freckle, whereupon the ridges, indents and coarsely made up 'pinched' surface area will shear away or otherwise abrade the excrement from my anus and buttocks. I could never tamp up like you do, it's just not for me. Do you engage the backstroke or are you a one way striker?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,230 ✭✭✭jaxxx


    Speaking of wiping, how many sheets you use at a time? I go with 3, cos I find 2 tears too easily and then you're left with chocolate fingers.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 133 ✭✭Urethral Buttercup


    Yeah I'm hitting four or five, maybe six, but I think the surface of my ringpiece is a little rough and weathered. I have to dig in everytime. Kind of feels like the opposite of those polished semi precious stones they sell in hippy shops.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 784 ✭✭✭LaFuton


    if
    3? u soviet fiend! try living a little... subequatorially...

    if you can admonish, garnish and down right decorate with 5+plus squares, including at least
    you'll be a man!


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 784 ✭✭✭LaFuton


    and never forget Will Knots


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,381 ✭✭✭✭Potential-Monke


    Ye count? I take enough until I consider it enough. Could be 5, most likely 10, sometimes 15 sheets! Also depends on the bog roll. You've to double up on that single ply shyte, but with Nikki (the one with the rabbit) you only need half the amount!


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 133 ✭✭Urethral Buttercup


    Jaysus I always hated the thought of those glans piercings. Would you have to be circumcised to get that, or would you tuck the earring away under the hood during normal waking hours?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 133 ✭✭Urethral Buttercup


    If I can afford it the one with that animal that couldn't escape the Australian bush fires on it is my favourite. Sorry I do love those creatures I just can't bring to mind the name.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 789 ✭✭✭Beanntraigheach


    Recently I've started showering naked.
    It's a wonderful sensation.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,315 ✭✭✭nthclare


    So you're a folder, in industry slang. I'm a schruncher and will be till I die. Grab a bunch and schrunch it up, then apply that sweet white tissue rose to my smelly freckle, whereupon the ridges, indents and coarsely made up 'pinched' surface area will shear away or otherwise abrade the excrement from my anus and buttocks. I could never tamp up like you do, it's just not for me. Do you engage the backstroke or are you a one way striker?

    That gave a laugh, one way strikers :)

    I use a lot of it,as I put on hippy health store moisturizer on the tissue and clean repeat as I go then a baby wipe to give it a gloss after then more moisturizer.
    I am a bit of a clean freak when it comes to the one way lol ha ha ha striking...

    I'm more roundabout, through the middle and like Vidal Sassoon wash and go....

    My girlfriend always comments on how my boxer's are so clean compared to her exes...brownie points for him lol

    You know the story, take off the boxer's they might go inside out and women notice these things.

    She'll leave hers at mine me leave mine at her's, we then throw each others in the wash..

    Team work...


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 784 ✭✭✭LaFuton


    Recently I've started showering naked.
    It's a wonderful sensation.

    ya durtay feckor


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 784 ✭✭✭LaFuton


    gotta admit I'm feeling class being naked watching cabin in the woods, yea there's the occasional boner, particularly with amy ackerman, but the cider and terror keeps ones eyes on the prize :)

    class movie
    class cider
    class naked


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  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 18,639 Mod ✭✭✭✭Leg End Reject


    Lads, the etiquette thread is the place for ye. You can all discuss wiping methods and sheet counts to your balloon knot's delight.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,438 ✭✭✭✭Sardonicat


    Lads, the etiquette thread is the place for ye. You can all discuss wiping methods and sheet counts to your balloon knot's delight.
    Yes, can we get back to nekkid men, please!


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 18,639 Mod ✭✭✭✭Leg End Reject


    Sardonicat wrote: »
    Yes, can we get back to nekkid men, please!

    We need pictures though to be sure. For science and research of course.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,438 ✭✭✭✭Sardonicat


    We need pictures though to be sure. For science and research of course.
    Of course!
    You get the clipboard, I'll hold the measuring tape


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 133 ✭✭Urethral Buttercup


    magnifying glass and swab more like.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,438 ✭✭✭✭Sardonicat


    I think we've frightened Futon back into his y-fronts.


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 18,639 Mod ✭✭✭✭Leg End Reject


    magnifying glass and swab more like.

    I'm sure someone will appreciate you for the person you are. :p


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,426 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    If you’d ever stayed at a “naturist” campsite, you’d know it’s “best practice” to bring a towel around with you for sitting on.

    I think the same rules should apply for any naketivity in one’s own home. The last thing anyone wants is an outbreak of “pinkeye” or having to worry about coming into contact with someone else’s “streaks”.

    You really can’t be too careful.

    “It is not blood that makes you Irish but a willingness to be part of the Irish nation” - Thomas Davis



  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,980 ✭✭✭s1ippy


    Big deal you're naked, I haven't worn undergarments of any variety in two weeks now.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,315 ✭✭✭nthclare


    Love being in the nip, I'm peppered in tattoos, rose's, Japanese waves, pagan symbols, music notes and tree's arching with moons and a few owls...bearded and a bit of an ape...

    My girlfriend is the opposite, Dublin 4 posh accent educated, comes from old money not your middle class gannets but the type when you drive up her parents driveway you've guy's running out of the shrubbery raking the expensive pea gravel back to level and love's a bit of rough...

    Me well as rough and ready as an American lumberjack, musky and outdoorsy...

    And she loves the bone's of me and me her..
    As do her parents, isn't it odd that some people are attracted to your character and integrity rather than your bank balance and status.

    Although it's similar in the old money circles and working classes, we seem to be happy with our lot and money doesn't come into love....


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 133 ✭✭Urethral Buttercup


    If you’d ever stayed at a “naturist” campsite, you’d know it’s “best practice” to bring a towel around with you for sitting on.

    I think the same rules should apply for any naketivity in one’s own home. The last thing anyone wants is an outbreak of “pinkeye” or having to worry about coming into contact with someone else’s “streaks”.

    Damn straight E. I feel "exactly" the same way. No anal flora on my linen cotton combo or recliner Jorge.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,438 ✭✭✭✭Sardonicat


    s1ippy wrote: »
    Big deal you're naked, I haven't worn undergarments of any variety in two weeks now.
    Is that because you ran out of clean ones?


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 784 ✭✭✭LaFuton


    but did ye never wonder if quantum hell was to befall us, the many shapes it would take!
    shredder wud defo be one!


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 18,639 Mod ✭✭✭✭Leg End Reject


    "Naketivity" is a very useful word, Emmet. Whilst I won't be needing to carry a towel around the house with me, I shall endeavour to find an everyday use for that.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 133 ✭✭Urethral Buttercup


    LaFuton wrote: »
    but did ye never wonder if quantum hell was to befall us, the many shapes it would take!
    shredder wud defo be one!

    More like shedder with all the ring hair and microscopic bits of crusted feces you're getting on your sofa dude.


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