This is heartbreaking - Child Bullying

feelthepower

I think maybe its time to pull this child from school at least till he's better again. I was nearly crying looking at it.
No one should have to put up with that abuse and its obviously affecting him in a way I just can't imagine.

A gofundme campaign has been setup for him to go to Disneyland which has been reached.

The video was orginially live streamed on facebook with millions upon millions of hits.

https://news.sky.com/story/mother-shares-video-of-distraught-son-9-bullied-over-his-dwarfism-11938841

Gynoid

feelthepower wrote: »

I think maybe its time to pull this child from school at least till he's better again. I was nearly crying looking at it.
No one should have to put up with that abuse and its obviously affecting him in a way I just can't imagine.

A gofundme campaign has been setup for him to go to Disneyland which has been reached.

The video was orginially live streamed on facebook with millions upon millions of hits.

https://news.sky.com/story/mother-shares-video-of-distraught-son-9-bullied-over-his-dwarfism-11938841

I saw that video yesterday, made me cry. Some are saying the mother should have comforted instead of filmed but maybe she was at the end of her tether. Her use of suicidal ideation words in his presence is more worrying however. They should never be used in front of children.
The little fella should be home schooled if possible . All the famous people who have responded should be taken up on their offers to meet him and do something nice with him. I hope he has an awesome life, things might turn round for him. Would be nice if he could meet Nick Vujicic, the guy with no arms or legs who would make your heart burst with the brilliance of him.

Ironicname

65k raised on gofundme to take him to Disney and has already been offered to be taken to wrestle mania by the wrestlers themselves.

AudreyHepburn

This is one of the most heartbreaking things I’ve ever seen. I can’t understand why schools and parents (meaning the parents of the culprits) are so unable or unwilling to tackle bullying as harshly as it needs to be tackled.

What does it actually take before you realize there’s a serious problem that needs to be dealt with.

I and my parents tried countless times to get the school to take action when I was being bullied but I always got the feeling they just didn’t want to know. Ultimately, and I hate to admit it, it took me lashing out at my bully for it to be taken seriously and for her to stop.

I don’t like that it came to that because I’m a very non violent person by nature but to be honest I just snapped.

I hope Quaden’s school teachers and the parents of the bullies see the video and hang their heads in shame.

Millicently

What the hell has happened to the world?

Yurt2

Kids have always been cruel if they are left to it. Our education system and society at large does not value kindness and socialisation of our young enough.

Just churning out productive competitive worker bees.

Parents have to be very careful about what environment they place their kids in.

Montessori is the only real education system I've seen that has an ethos that actually addresses socialisation and the idea of kids caring for peers. I don't care if that sounds wooly or hippyish. Unfortunately, Ireland has a very underdeveloped Montessori school network and it only goes up to a certain age typically. We still think of it as a slightly posh stand-in for kindergarten where as in the Nordics, Montessori can go up all the way up to high school level.

Most Irish schools have no real ethos around this kind of thing.

Irish Praetorian

I recall, not so many years ago, that when I was a young`un, even the notion that you would mock a disabled classmate was enough to get the entire class pissed off at you. What changed?

Stateofyou

Heartbreaking. Things need to change, and bullies need to face very strong consequences.

Lonesomerhodes

Complaining about bullying on a online forum is like whining about animal rights in a slaughterhouse.

Bullying is a past time on these bloody forums buddy!.

Guarantee even be bullying on this thread!.

Stateofyou

Lonesomerhodes wrote: »

Complaining about bullying on a online forum is like whining about animal rights in a slaughterhouse.

Bullying is a past time on these bloody forums buddy!.

Guarantee even be bullying on this thread!.

That's why it continues on in children. Monkey see monkey do. Parents at home aren't instilling kindness or empathy. Adults all around them in real life or online don't embody it either. We all need to do better.

harr

I can barely watch that video to be honest and as a parent of a special needs kid it breaks my heart to see this carry on. Honestly some kids are dragged up and they definitely must seeing this behaviour at home. As mentioned above mocking a special needs kid especially bullying one would definitely have been a step to far when I was was in school and you definitely would have got pulled up on it form other class mates. It must be terrible seeing your child go through this.

nthclare

Awweee the poor lad, so heartbreaking.
And seeing the love that mother has for him absolute unconditional love.

His whole world turned upside down and in sheer terror, fear and self loathing.

They both need a lot of love and kindness. Sitting there and he's wishing it was all over.

There's kids suffering everywhere and she did the right thing because all this bullying has be brought to light.

I know kids are kids, but yes but I remember the hardest nut in the classroom in primary school Martin was his name.
He looked out for the vulnerable kids in class, the ones with speech difficulties and maybe a bit slow or nervous.
Any one whod dare slag off any of them or be nasty Martin would be there to sort it out.
A big strong guy no compromise with bullies, in a way he made primary school easy for us all like a fair leader, he did well in life we're in our mid 40s now and we bump into each other now and again, he's still a hero.
I've a really odd sounding old Celtic name and it didn't go down well with some kids, he stood up for me
Some kids are born with empathy and understanding.

Hopefully this kid will get early psychological intervention to help him untie the knots within his soul and mind.

He needs lots of love

LirW

It's interesting that in threads with video evidence, many posters are automatically a lot more sympathetic towards the victim of bullying.
When bullying in young years it discussed as a general topic, there is no shortage of people that boast how we all just have to toughen up and it's good for building your personality really. Oh and of course how weak the young generation is.

Bullying is no joke. Remember Ana Kriegel? She was ostracised by her peers for being mildly disabled, taller and a bit different. This exclusion made her excellent pray for the sick people that are at fault for her tragic death.

I am glad that awareness rises and people have platforms to speak out now. Bullying can drive people into serious mental health problems to the point of not functioning anymore, or in the worst case, suicide.

Just because there aren't videos existing of every incident that ever happened doesn't make it less real.
I hope the school staff and parents of that boy's peers are scarlet red from shame and I hope he finds the happiness he so badly deserves.

BanditLuke

Millicently wrote: »

What the hell has happened to the world?

Nothing. People have always been cnuts

Raconteuse

Irish Praetorian wrote: »

I recall, not so many years ago, that when I was a young`un, even the notion that you would mock a disabled classmate was enough to get the entire class pissed off at you. What changed?

Social media I'd say. Children having more power than adults (Ana Kriegel case for example).

And the fashion now of saying "bullying is a fact of life", "kids need to be more resilient" from victim blaming adults.

nullzero

If it were my kid I'd be targeting the parents of the little sh1ts responsible.
The only way to effectively deal with this type of issue, particularly where kids are being cyber bullied is to make the parents of the children responsible, criminally responsible for their childrens actions.

Fr_Dougal

It’s down to parenting. This stuff needs to be taught and reinforced at home, it’s too much to ask schools to raise kids for people.

No doubt this will garner a lot of Facebook ‘likes and shares’. Wouldn’t it be great if this could be replaced with ‘I’ve had a conversation with my children’.

LirW

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

It’s down to parenting. This stuff needs to be taught and reinforced at home, it’s too much to ask schools to raise kids for people.

I'm not so sure about this. I believe it's a nature/nurture thing.
I know a few first hand examples of really nice family where one kid constantly seeks trouble with others while the siblings are totally different.

My sister, she's a trainee psychotherapist, recently switched from working with adults into working with children at primary age. It was an eye opener and she's seen a few examples where the parents fight an uphill battle with their kid because it's constantly on other's throats. This often goes together with clinical issues though and mind you, you're more likely to be diagnosed and get the help you need if your parents are engaged with school.

Often it comes down to bad parenting, sometimes it's a hell of a lot more complex than that.

Raconteuse

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

It’s down to parenting. This stuff needs to be taught and reinforced at home, it’s too much to ask schools to raise kids for people.

Well I'd usually hold the actual wrongdoers responsible but I partially disagree in this case. Yeah parenting of course (although there are people with great parents who are still pieces of sh1t) but the school has a duty of care. My friend's son was bullied and isolated/excluded to an awful degree and the school was useless. He moved to another school though which has a zero tolerance policy and no kid dares to bully. How his life has turned around, and the confidence he has built up, is amazing.

Ashbourne hoop

Irish Praetorian wrote: »

I recall, not so many years ago, that when I was a young`un, even the notion that you would mock a disabled classmate was enough to get the entire class pissed off at you. What changed?

This. It certainly wouldn't have been acceptable when I went to school with my peers, and I came from a very "working class" area. And if my Ma found out I'd been slagging a disabled child.....

nthclare

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

It’s down to parenting. This stuff needs to be taught and reinforced at home, it’s too much to ask schools to raise kids for people.

No doubt this will garner a lot of Facebook ‘likes and shares’. Wouldn’t it be great if this could be replaced with ‘I’ve had a conversation with my children’.

This was thought in primary schools back in my time in the late 70's going into the 80s
Bullies and cheeky kids were punished accordingly. Im not suggesting corporal punishment but maybe 200 lines and learn off a few poems and stand in the corner.

In my 20's and 30's id have posted something similar to your post so I cannot judge you or unfairly undermine you.

In my 40's I can look back and realise that I needed a kick up the hole now and again and I bump into the teachers and we laugh about school.

I was a divel sniggering and disruption of the class, and I messed a lot.
The teachers told my parents I've a great wit and a sense of humour, but its best that I have a bit of respect for the duration of the class rather than being disruptive.

I found it hard not laughing or a nervous giggle.

Never bullied anyone though.

But having a conversation with children is hard for some parents because they don't have proper conversation with each other never mind their kids.
But if some parents manage to sway the thinking of their kids that's one less of a likely hood for the kid to turn into a little sh1t.

Lurching

With the rise in suicide across the world and the higher levels of emotional intelligence being bandied about, are we teaching our kids to be too passive? As mentioned above, sometimes bullying is only taken seriously when it gets physical. Should our children be taught to lash out before they lose their own minds to a bully?
I know this poses many other social issues, but emotional turmoil is something no one should be pushed in to.

Jimbob1977

My children's school has a zero tolerance policy to bullying.

Children are encouraged to tell parents and teachers immediately.

That being said, I've told my children that they are perfectly entitled to defend themselves.... rather than becoming punchbags.

Raconteuse

Lurching wrote: »

With the rise in suicide across the world and the higher levels of emotional intelligence being bandied about, are we teaching our kids to be too passive? As mentioned above, sometimes bullying is only taken seriously when it gets physical. Should our children be taught to lash out before they lose their own minds to a bully?
I know this poses many other social issues, but emotional turmoil is something no one should be pushed in to.

Absolute bliss when a bullied child knocks seven shades of shyte out of their bully or bullies, but I'd wager it's mostly in the movies/on TV, and in reality the reverse is what happens usually.

It's out of the question for a small/fragile child like this wee buachaill anyway.

That said though, self defence classes are a good idea. Meeting other kids and keeping fit as well as the self defence aspect.

B.A._Baracus

BanditLuke wrote: »

Nothing. People have always been cnuts

True. From the chap with a wooden club who lived in a cave. To the douchebag in his flying car in 200 years time. It'll always be the same.

Graces7

I was bullied mercilessly at primary /junior school back in the 40s/ 50s so this is not a new thing. Children can be ….., I was always bookish and introvert and that was enough to do it. It is being in any way " different". I can still remember the details even now.,

Needless to say when I was a teacher I would not tolerate bullying in any way

squawker

Jimbob1977 wrote: »

My children's school has a zero tolerance policy to bullying.

Children are encouraged to tell parents and teachers immediately.

That being said, I've told my children that they are perfectly entitled to defend themselves.... rather than becoming punchbags.

same as my kids school, but I have told my kids if someone tries to bully you hit that bully square on the nose as hard as you can

fcuk being passive, its the only thing a bully understands

Wouldn't even dream of hitting play on that - the Still is bad enough. It's good to see some good has come of it.

beggars_bush

The bullying behaviour often comes from the actions or behaviour of parents of the bully
I've seen it countless times

Raconteuse

beggars_bush wrote: »

The bullying behaviour often comes from the actions or behaviour of parents of the bully
I've seen it countless times

Some of the same cuntts would have posted "Be kind xXxXx" on their Facebook this week.

Raconteuse

Deleted User wrote: »

Wouldn't even dream of hitting play on that - the Still is bad enough. It's good to see some good has come of it.

Same here. That still alone is difficult to look at. Poor lad

jackboy

Ironicname wrote: »

65k raised on gofundme to take him to Disney and has already been offered to be taken to wrestle mania by the wrestlers themselves.

Disney and wrestle mania is not what that child needs. What’s the plan, send him on a holiday so adults can feel better, then send him back to school to be bullied.

nthclare

jackboy wrote: »

Disney and wrestle mania is not what that child needs. What’s the plan, send him on a holiday so adults can feel better, then send him back to school to be bullied.

Id say there's more to it than that, in fairness the mum sounds like she's at the end of her tether.
As a parent I can hear her pain and love for the poor lad.
He's so lonely and so is she by the sounds of it.

I can see that you mean well, but my heart went out to him he's a lost soul and his whole world is upturned.

Imagine having the world at your feet and yet feeling alienated by the people you want to share space with waking up every morning with that on 9 year olds conscious.

Look at the crater, in his lovely rig out, nice clean hair and looks great.
But yet he feels like the world has rejected him.

This happens to adults too, and it makes me think about my own defects of character, my little snipes at the left and social justice warriors.
In a roundabout way im being disingenuous to my fellow man or woman.

I need to take stock and bow my head down and say, yes I've been strident towards people who have their own struggles in life.

If it took that poor misfortunes strife to look at myself, then without him knowing he helped me to look at myself and my indignation towards others.

Yes hands up I need to change too.

neonsofa

Raconteuse wrote: »

Absolute bliss when a bullied child knocks seven shades of shyte out of their bully or bullies, but I'd wager it's mostly in the movies/on TV, and in reality the reverse is what happens usually.

It's out of the question for a small/fragile child like this wee buachaill anyway.

That said though, self defence classes are a good idea. Meeting other kids and keeping fit as well as the self defence aspect.

A child in my daughter's class was getting bullied, school didn't really do much to resolve the issue. The child ended up fighting back one day and the school were fairly quick to punish the child who fought back. Really unfair. Parents continually fighting with the school to do something. They are drained by it all. And the poor kid wouldnt harm a fly and now thinks he is in the wrong for fighting back, cause thats what the school told him.

Wichita Lineman

That is shameful.

A primary school teacher told me the bullies need to learn themselves that bullying is wrong when I challenged them as my child was being bullied. They even went as far as sitting the bully beside my child in the naïve hope that the bully would be friends!!
I went to the school and told the head I would be in to sit beside the bully the next morning unless she was moved immediately and I'd show the bully what bullying was like. They moved them apart before I left the school that day.

But did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING else.

Bobblehats

I think bit of reverse bullyology should come into play. Secure the services of a bigger lad to hound them; really get on their case give them cold sweats... haunt their fcuking dreams. There’s always at least one who doesn’t like what he’s seeing, he’d be up for it...

razorblunt

Ironicname wrote: »

65k raised on gofundme to take him to Disney and has already been offered to be taken to wrestle mania by the wrestlers themselves.

The comic who kicked off the GoFundMe is the same fella who was caught telling a story of when he effectively raped a woman along with another comic.
Later played it off as "it was a joke, I made it up on the spot".

I'd say he's delighted that this story has come along.

razorblunt

The worst part of this video is that there is no way teachers at the school don't know it's happening to that poor kid.

I remember my Mam telling a story of when she went to a parent's night at my school before I started 2nd class. One parent questioned the process of dealing with bullying, the Principal proudly stood there and said "we don't have bullying here, there's nothing to worry about". He got torn to shreds and called a liar by another women who said her older son and herself were in his office numerous times for being bullied, the last time she had to come down after he was thrown into a bin, like something from a movie.

Complete ignorance or head in the sand.

weldoninhio

Ashbourne hoop wrote: »

This. It certainly wouldn't have been acceptable when I went to school with my peers, and I came from a very "working class" area. And if my Ma found out I'd been slagging a disabled child.....

But nowadays there is no such thing as disabled apparently. You can't say that, everyone is equal but different and all that waffle. Kids are told that children like this kid are no different to anyone else, then get told off for picking on the disabled kid, which is it?? No wonder kids are confused.

TheValeyard

Irish Praetorian wrote: »

I recall, not so many years ago, that when I was a young`un, even the notion that you would mock a disabled classmate was enough to get the entire class pissed off at you. What changed?

This still happens. Seen cases where someone tries to pick on the 'special' kid in class, that person usually gets a load of abuse.

Raconteuse

weldoninhio wrote: »

But nowadays there is no such thing as disabled apparently. You can't say that, everyone is equal but different and all that waffle. Kids are told that children like this kid are no different to anyone else, then get told off for picking on the disabled kid, which is it?? No wonder kids are confused.

No confusion at all. Don't bully.

I think it's very sad and when we were kids it happened too, nothing changes.
The upsetting part is that a child who shouldn't even be familiar with nor exposed to "hanging", simply asks for a rope! gimme a rope now..who says that?? also who films it while he's in such a state and sends it worldwide.
To the public, it will be yesterdays news tomorrow but to him, I fear that video will be shown to him repeatedly and shared by the same bullies alike.

beejee

Disgraceful.

This stuff has always existed. Like watching a documentary where a young deer is hunted and then torn to shreds by lions. It's cruel. Life has an intrinsically cruel streak to it.

You can only minimise it as much as possible, as weak a solution as it sounds.

While it's always existed, the Advent of social media has had the effect of throwing petrol on a fire, making it multiple times worse. These social media companies are basically scum in my opinion. Every which way they can twist and turn to avoid regulation is taken by them. Slippery eels that care only about profiteering, and yes, even the posting of the video above = profit for them.

Step 1 in combating bullying these days is to get your child off social media and then distance them as far as humanly possible from it. No "supervised" time, no "I'll use this program to filter". Get them off it, full stop. Then, you take other steps, and not before.

I remember a person in a class in secondary school. They must have been bullied before I joined the school, because it already "existed". I tried to be friendly but they didn't want to know, probably because they thought it was a set-up for bullying in some way.

One day in particular, I was sitting behind them and I laughed at something said to me. The person turned around to me, almost teary eyed, and half shouted "what are you laughing at?"

It had gotten so bad mentally that even hearing a laugh to them automatically meant they must be the butt of some joke.

How bad is that? That laughter itself became a negative thing? Still remember it clear as a bell and it still makes me sad recalling it.

freshpopcorn

beejee wrote: »

Step 1 in combating bullying these days is to get your child off social media and then distance them as far as humanly possible from it. No "supervised" time, no "I'll use this program to filter". Get them off it, full stop. Then, you take other steps, and not before.

This is becoming a tad more popular now(not majorly). However I've seen this happen on a few occasions and the kids/teenagers. Set up accounts on friends, library, etc devices and the parents haven't an iota of what's going on.
They'd proudly tell you that my child isn't on X but they are.
All I'm saying is of your one of the parents who ban social media becareful of it because your kid will tell you nothing.

The Tetrarch

I was one of four brothers at secondary school. None of us was bullied. Bullies pick on the weak and isolated.
To stop bullies you need to identify them. My guess is schools do not want to identify bullies.

Jmsg

Father deprivation is very often behind both the predilection to bully and the vulnerability to be bullied. Something often disregarded in the PC age where it's blasphemous to suggest there's any difference between a child being raised by their father or theirs mother's lesbian lover

partyguinness

I'm half thinking of showing this video to my 8 year old son to show him the effect bullying has on another kid. My fella is one of the quiet ones in the class but you never know.

partyguinness

squawker wrote: »

same as my kids school, but I have told my kids if someone tries to bully you hit that bully square on the nose as hard as you can

fcuk being passive, its the only thing a bully understands

That was my logic growing up and I did it a few times. Even if you get the **** kicked out of you I guarantee the bully will never go near you again.

I learned that bullies also like an audience so the more public the punch the better.

jackboy

partyguinness wrote: »

That was my logic growing up and I did it a few times. Even if you get the **** kicked out of you I guarantee the bully will never go near you again.

I learned that bullies also like an audience so the more public the punch the better.

This is unpalatable but there is truth to it. If a bully is struck in public by someone ‘weaker’ then they are shamed. No revenge can reverse that. That is why they will then change their target.

Gynoid

partyguinness wrote: »

I'm half thinking of showing this video to my 8 year old son to show him the effect bullying has on another kid. My fella is one of the quiet ones in the class but you never know.

It will just upset him (in my opinion) and if he is already emotionally intelligent he does not need it. He might be a bit young yet. 12 maybe, but at 8 you are still so small.

Something I feel strongly about is that people should respond to their own issue directly with their own solution. There is no point in hoping or waiting for the monolith to change.
The child is 9, every day is his now, it is as long as a universe to him, today is the day the parents need to respond. This waiting on the state to do something, or an institution to do something, is abdication of personal responsibility. Take the child out of the school. If a better school cannot be found, keep the child at home for home school. Fcuk this waiting for other people to be better - they might never be better.

BorneTobyWilde

He looks like a smart kid also, well able to express himself verbally and emotionally.

Some people are just heartless, and those of us who aren't can't understand why they are that way.
To take joy in someone else's pain and sorrow verges on being evil.