2021 Bride/Groom

Neyite

That sounds really tough Teach. I don't think you can do much to change the attitude of other people, but it's very draining and demoralising all the same for you.

Teach30

Neyite wrote: »

That sounds really tough Teach. I don't think you can do much to change the attitude of other people, but it's very draining and demoralising all the same for you.

Thanks Neyite, I can’t forget I’ve had the best of everything growing up and only for living at home I wouldn’t have a new house mortgage free and a wedding planned. Equally I would love to enjoy the experience but I can’t have everything. They certainly pay aren’t making it easy and I have a huge sense of guilt for putting them through this and a sense of dread as to how the day itself will play out.

As it stands my mother wants all tables mixed so that she can chat to different people in his family, not understanding that some people might not feel comfortable mixing. Equally friends need to be put at the back of the room as my mother won’t want to see/hear people drinking… this cake from the bridesmaid. The day certainly won’t be good enough for her, the people asked wouldn’t be her “type” at all. I keep hearing about “how it was done long go” .. at this stage I can’t wait to say the day is over.

Still have so much to do and really can’t get my head into doing anything as there is no enjoyment in it. Lovey to hear how nice everyone elses planning is going even if it does make me v jealous at times!

aoife1991

My heart goes out to you , Teach. It has been very stressful planning a wedding in a global pandemic and it sounds like you have little family or friend support with this. My adage is you can't please anyone, so you may as well please yourself.

At this point what does your ideal resemble and are you willing to change your plans to make you and your future spouse happy?

I know how you are feeling. My heart isn't in it, planning wise any more.

Neyite

I was just getting too stressed about the logistics of our date this year during covid so I'm really glad it was put off until next year, but lots of couples didn't have the option to do that like we did, and I really feel it for them.

Families, even the best of them, don't get all the stuff you aren't allowed to do for a covid wedding. And that's without the usual suspects in the family who go a bit crazy at weddings. Honestly, I've seen way more guestzillas over the years than bridezillas.

Teach30

aoife1991 wrote: »

My heart goes out to you , Teach. It has been very stressful planning a wedding in a global pandemic and it sounds like you have little family or friend support with this. My adage is you can't please anyone, so you may as well please yourself.

At this point what does your ideal resemble and are you willing to change your plans to make you and your future spouse happy?

I know how you are feeling. My heart isn't in it, planning wise any more.

I think what I’ve planned for 50 will be fine it’s just the lead up to it is being difficult. The anxiety from mother and sister and the fact they can’t understand numbers or restrictions makes it’s frustrating for me. They even at one point suggested sitting in a separate room to main party so more cousins, neighbours etc could be invited. They aren’t willing to accept how I would like it and get touchy when I say this is how it’s going to be.

All I keep hearing is “long ago that’s what we did”. My mother still can’t decide who to ask from her side and is avoiding it now that’s she’s under pressure to finally decide. Sister sides with her and I come out the worst as I need names and numbers but they can’t understand why.

I think deep down they think I’m very self centred and I’m making the day all about me when it traditionally would have been about the parents and family. At this stage it’s easier do what they want than argue with them because if I do I’m made out to be the worst ever. Hardly worth the stress and tears at this stage. The “oh it’s all about you, just because you have a dress no one else matters” comment really got to me and it’s something I will never forget.

Neyite

It's a nasty comment and one that should be entirely disregarded. It's COVID causing all this, not you! You, if I remember correctly, wanted the big traditional ballroom wedding reception with everyone there, and you were gutted when it had to be this way. It was different years ago. It was different two years ago - because covid didn't exist then. We'd never even heard of social distancing two years ago!

Covid is the reason you can't have those guests. Covid is the reason you can't have the wedding they want you to have (and that you also wanted!) Covid is the reason your mother can't have relatives in different rooms. So you are not at fault here.

aoife1991

Well, my invites are gone out this morning. Decided to give three months notice given that we are still dealing with Covid. We are inviting 65.

To be honest, my anxiety is sky high. I have a pit in my stomach that the situation will worsen with the Delta variant and I could be phoning 40 people and telling them not to show up :( All I can do now is wait. I cannot wait for the day to be over and no longer have this on my list of things to be worried about. Myself and himself are both getting our first vaccine jabs this week so at least we will be fully vaccinated on the wedding day.

Sierra Oscar

Still no word from the Department of Health regarding the guidelines for hotels once they go to 100 guests. Will live music be allowed? Is dancing still prohibited? Is it still only a table service for drinks? Are venues expected to be closed and completely vacated by 23:30hrs? Are resident bars still forbidden? So much clarity needed.

pinking

Anyone managed to find a decent wedding cake maker in Dublin? I'm after something that's fun, classy but an absolute showstopper! I found roughly what I wanted when I visited London and saw this from Anges De Sucre - https://www.angesdesucre.com/collections/pastel-wedding-cakes/products/pink-sweetheart-wedding-cake?variant=38532591496

We have around 8 months until the big day, so plenty of time in my eyes to get an order in surely? Thanks

woodchuck

https://boards.ie/discussion/comment/117619139#Comment_117619139

Have you tried Amazing Cakes in Bray? I was seriously considering booking them, but just couldn't justify spending that kind of money on a cake. If you want a statement piece though and if they're within your budget, that's who I'd go for!

yourdeadwright

How's everyone feeling about the increase in wedding numbers,

DO we reckon it will get to 100 this year or are we looking at next spring at this stage ?

Really only August left in the summer at this stag & i can't see them going up to 100 for Autumn / Winter ,

JeffKenna

https://boards.ie/discussion/comment/117619375#Comment_117619375

Hard to know, it's very difficult to make a call on sending invites at this stage. Thought they said it's meant to go to 100 for August, if that gets pushed out then I reckon it won't be 100 until next year.

JeffKenna

Had a Google, 30th of July at that cabinet sub committee meeting an announcement on wedding numbers is expected.

yourdeadwright

https://boards.ie/discussion/comment/117619410#Comment_117619410

Are people sending out invites for 100 or just the 50 ?

its hard to know what to do ,we aren't till next May but id imagine after Christmas we will have a similar issue, With thing not being fully opened but planning to open ,

woodchuck

https://boards.ie/discussion/comment/117619375#Comment_117619375

If I'm being honest, I can't see them allowing 100 in August. It's very clear that we're going into another wave and since we still don't have enough adults vaccinated, I can't see them easing restrictions further in August. At least we do have a large cohort fully vaccinated though, so I'm hopful that we're just facing down the barrel of the government not easing restrictions, as opposed to reimposing more severe restrictions.

We're September and have sent invites to more than 50, but nowhere close to 100. It's the original number we planned to invite actually! I'm still waiting for a lot of people to the RSVP, but if more than 50 accept and numbers haven't gone up by then, I'm sure people will be sympathetic and understanding if they need to be "cut".

AppleD

Posted our invites today to 60 people, that way if 10 can't come we'll still have 50 there.

Its hard to know if it will go to 100. Can't see there being any change to the 11.30 time limit.

Every supplier I speak to has said they can't see it going to 100.. Now I know they don't know anymore than the rest of us.

I'd be more surprised if they do go to 100, I think most people would be. We're meant to hit a peak of Delta variant in August so just can't see it be lifted past 50.

I don't even want 100 there with no music tbh.

We are still ploughing ahead for 80 people in October and remain hopeful that we will have live music and no 11.30pm end time.

Alkers

I haven't seen it in the legislation but recently nphet have said that the vaccine bonus is that any number of vaccinated people may visit each other without masks indoors. Surely by that logic, you could have 100 vaccinated people at a venue

https://boards.ie/discussion/comment/117622507#Comment_117622507

What if some of the wedding party wasn't vaccinated?

woodchuck

https://boards.ie/discussion/comment/117622507#Comment_117622507

In theory I agree with you. Or you say that anyone with a Covid cert isn't included in the numbers.

It would be a logistical nightmare for the couple trying to organise their wedding though. I'm assuming all of our guests will be fully vaccinated in September, based on the age profile. But I can't know that for sure (could be medical or personal reasons they choose not to get vaccinated) and there's no way I'd be prying into people's personal medical information when inviting them.

Alkers

https://boards.ie/discussion/comment/117623360#Comment_117623360

No idea, I just think people should be aware of it when they're afraid of numbers being reduced again due to Delta.

Have any brides to be or recently married brides been told by their suppliers on the day that only the bare minimum can be in the bedroom that morning?

I'm talking about the getting ready preparations. I've been told that due to Covid only those who need to be with me can be and it doesn't matter that we will all be fully vaccinated.

There is someone close to me who isn't a member of the bridal party but who I think would really like to say hello and sit with us for a bit. This isn't welcomed however and I have to politely tell them they can't stay.

yourdeadwright

We are getting married in May next year & planned to send invites before Christmas but i reckon we will be holding off till late January/February ,

We want 110 at the wedding but iv a feeling things will likely become worse over winter & only start to get good again in February ,

But fingers crossed by May next year we will be almost be at full capacity for weddings,

https://boards.ie/discussion/comment/117642707#Comment_117642707

After Christmas should be plenty of time. I don't think winter will be cause for concern given our vaccination roll out.

KrustyUCC

Varadkar saying couples should plan for 50 on August so no further easing of restrictions

Ridiculous we're still going on max numbers

Have had few friends with weddings in Northern Ireland the last few weeks

Numbers are dependent on the venue

I was invited to a wedding in August

No kids bar 2 nieces and nephews of the groom

All rest who got invited double vaccinated but that doesn't seem to matter

I'll be one of those culled from the list but I can accept that no bother

Bride very upset at having to uninvite people now

KrustyUCC

Varadkar saying couples should plan for 50 on August so no further easing of restrictions

Ridiculous we're still going on max numbers

Have had few friends with weddings in Northern Ireland the last few weeks

Numbers are dependent on the venue

I was invited to a wedding in August

No kids bar 2 nieces and nephews of the groom

All rest who got invited double vaccinated but that doesn't seem to matter

I'll be one of those culled from the list but I can accept that no bother

Bride very upset at having to uninvite people now

Alkers

Yeah we're in a similar boat for August 20th and were hoping for the increase to 100. We'll have 90% of attendees fully vaccinated but that doesn't seem to be considered in the limits. Very hard to decide whether postponing by a month will change things or whether to just uninvite people back down to 50.

woodchuck

Good to hear the ambiguity for the number of wedding guests being called out on the radio this morning. I assume there still won't be clarity until the end of month though.

OwlsZat

The UK are enjoying life and we're practically caught up in the vaccine race, so not sure where the change in tact is coming from.

Fine we've a few more cases, but similar to the UK the cases aren't translating to hospitalizations or worse death. We've currently 96 in hospital and 22 in ICU pretty much unchanged the last long while.

If anything a few more cases is beneficial, for young people it's similar to a vaccination creating antibodies. For older people each case is validation the vaccine is doing it's job breaking the logic where an older person getting COVID has to rush off to hospital.

We really should be unlocking and I'm pissed with this. This is despite our venue holding only 60 so we've currently 57 invited. Uninviting 7 people which won't have any real effect epidemically.

It's just a reflection on our populations worry. It seems we have totally forgotten how vaccinations work and we can't update our logic. Trust NPHET for a total lack of scientific leadership.

OwlsZat

https://boards.ie/discussion/comment/117642707#Comment_117642707

Things won't get worse in winter. People are vaccinated now. Vaccinations prevent serious disease. Without serious disease there is no worry.