Your most braindead dumbest moment?

Cutie 3.14

Was looking at an old school friends wedding photos on facebook recently, and saw a girl wearing a lovely dress.

Kept scrolling and saw another girl wearing the same dress, thinking ah god, 2 of them in the same dress, but sure look it happens, whatever.

Scrolled again and theres a THIRD girl in the exact same dress! And I'm thinking jesus 3 girls at the same wedding in the same dress! What are the chances!?

And then it hit me....

So! What was your dumb moment?

kencoo

1980s inter schools tablequiz:
Q: What happened in Dallas in 1963?
A: JR Ewing got married....

Oranage2

Was going through the airport in London, saw a workee with a name tag BA, saw another worker with BA, all looking south Asian, I though it must be a popular surname there until I realized it meant British Airways

mr_edge_to_you

Tried to park a car in a tight spot in the forecourt of a garage after a test drive and did €300 worth of damage.

It was never going to go in easily.

Bobblehats

Well why they get free coffee when everyone else has to pay?

micar

One of the girls i work with had a birthday coming up.....let's call her Anne cos that's her name.

In was tasked to organise a collection from the other guys to get a card and some goodies.

Anyway I sent the email around making sure not to include Anne.

Later on a few of the guys start laughing......there are two Annes on the team. I assumed it was Anne sitting beside me.....it wasn't her Birthday but the other Anne......oops!!!


Another one.....it wasn't me. One of the guys dad passed away. The Team Leader sends an email to the team members using the team name asking for some euros to buy flowers...... what she failed to realise was that the guy whose dad passed away was included on the email. She never realised. I ended up going over to IT to ask them to go into his email and got it deleted.

In forth class primary school, Throwing the unwrapped sweet into the classroom bin instead of the wrapping paper.
Running across the road and the path of an approaching ambulance with its lights. If it knocked me down....
Think about the "Carry on doctor" movie without the laughs. That vintage of ambulance.


Oh yeah

Buying eircom shares: IR £1250 worth.

JohnnyFlash

Tried to reason with some of the 18 hours a day merchants over on the current affairs forum.

micar

When I was in my teens, was working on a roof. Was standing on scaffolding. There was a bow saw on the roof which started to slide down. I reach out to grab it......ended up grabbing it by the blade slicing the inside of my fingers.

Gorteen

History exam question

Q. What happened in Europe from 1914 - 1918?

A. The population explosion

Bobblehats

Sexton just scored a hat-trick with one penalty :cool:

SusieBlue

Broke my mams favourite Christmas decoration and accidentally superglued it to the palm of my hand in my haste to fix it before she noticed.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Drunkenly falling asleep with a fan heater on on my bed when I was 18. I woke up the next morning and it was still on but covered by the duvet and my shin was quite badly blistered by being pushed against the heater face for hours. It could have been much, much worse though. I know fan heaters are supposed to switch off when they overheat but this one clearly didn’t. Not even a funny drunk tale. Just pure stupidity.

Charlie19

I got a bit of work done on my car and after getting it back I had to refuel, that was grand but when I was at the petrol pump, I picked up the diesel one by mistake and couldn't understand why the nozel wouldn't fit into the tank. I was so close to calling the mechanic to see had he changed anything. Thankfully I realized how silly I was before making any call.

anewme

Ive done quite a few.

When I got my first house, for some reason best known only to myself decided to decorate everything in the kitchen blue. Blue floor tiles, blue wall tiles, blue dishes, blue kettle and blue microwave.

Fast forward about 6 years and the blue is driving me to drink. Had my sister down for dinner and the conversation came round to the blue overload. I said to my sister..."what kind of eejit gets a blue fckn microwave. How did you let me buy that?' She got up and peeled the blue protective plastic off leaving a WHITE microwave.

About a year later, she tagged me in a lad bible thing that some girl in the UK did with a fridge. I was first though. They still take the piss out of me over the lovely blue microwave.

matchthis

Filling out online application for driving licence for my friend

Name : John Smith
Street name : Johno
House number : 6

Broke out laughing when reading over it on the make sure your info is correct page... street name, first time I saw it like that

amadangomor

mr_edge_to_you wrote: »

Tried to park a car in a tight spot in the forecourt of a garage after a test drive and did €300 worth of damage.

It was never going to go in easily.

That's what she said last night.

anewme

Another time I came back to my car in a private car park where the parking guy had written a ticket to time my 10 mins grace.

I rang up head office anouncing I was clamped. They said you are not, I insisted I was, there was a yellow yoke on the wheel. Parking guy came out to 'unclamp me " and pointed out it was not a Clamp but the yellow brake caliper on the 4 wheels.

He asked me am I a blonde who dyed her hair black with a deadpan face.

dhaughton99

Last month asking a Muslim teacher wearing a headscarf if she celebrates Xmas.

amadangomor

dhaughton99 wrote: »

Last month asking a Muslim teacher wearing a headscarf if she celebrates Xmas.

Jesus is the second prophet of Islam so not that crazy.

julyjane

A friend of my OH called here one day and realised he had his fathers keys. I was going in the direction of where his father was working and said I'd give him the keys. I got there and saw his father, a carpenter, on the roof of a 3 storey building and his van parked right beside it. I shouted up to him that his son sent me to give him back his van keys, he shouted down "ok just throw them into the van there". So I went to open the door but the van was locked and I shouted up to him "it's locked!" and he said nothing just looked at me like I was a bit slow, which I was because about 10 seconds later I had a lightbulb moment and unlocked the van myself with the keys that I had in my hand

cj maxx

Looked to book my theory part of my driving test. The only place were Athlone Athy athenry etc . So off I go to 80 miles drive to Athlone.
I never thought of scrolling down the page !!
There's others I can't or won't remember

julyjane

cjmc wrote: »

Looked to book my theory part of my driving test. The only place were Athlone Athy athenry etc . So off I go to 80 miles drive to Athlone.
I never thought of scrolling down the page !!
There's others I can't or won't remember

did you pass?

cj maxx

julyjane wrote: »

did you pass?

Yep, aced it

razorblunt

Standard thing.


Saw a try being scored on tv in the pub, much celebration.
What, I thought was reasonable time passed and I celebrated the second try scored. Nope just a replay, game hadn’t even restarted.

mondeo

In the airport last year, 6am sitting at the boarding gate waiting for my flight to france. Lots of people waiting with me. Decided to go off and hunt down some pills for flight sickness just in case I needed them. I spent maybe 15 mins walking around until I got them... Returned to my boarding gate, everyone was gone! The plane was boarded and the gate closed. I couldn't fckn believe it ! I went to the checkin desk and explained what happened and they said all flights were fully booked and I wouldn't be flying with them today ! I had a hotel and someone waiting for me in France so I had to get there today ! I ended up paying 3 times the price with another airline to take me to France two hours later.... At this stage I didn't give a sht, I had to get to France. I will never make a mistake like this ever again.

Better Than Christ

You really are a bunch of idiots.

Anyway, I've got into the passenger seat of my own car on more than one occasion. And rather than getting straight back out, I rooted around in the glove box for a minute, pretending that I was looking for something.

aristotle25

One time I was in a conversation with some work colleagues about climbing Croagh Patrick. One of two of us were saying it’s a fairly difficult climb, to which another colleague chimed in with a great plan.

You can climb half it on one weekend and come back and climb the other half the weekend after.

Except it never dawned on her.

retro:electro

I was in the hospital visiting one day and went to the shop to get a takeaway tea. As I was paying the cashier asked “do you work here?”. “No”, says I, “I work in bla bla bla, why? Do you know me?”
“Eh no”.. he said awkwardly. “I’m just asking to see if you have a staff card that needs swiping”

....I knew that.

freshpopcorn

I was in a club before and I saw this guy who looked exactly like me and was wearing the same thing.
I went over to him to try and make a little conversation and he ignored me. I thought he was a real twat.
Sometime later I realised I was looking in a mirror.

Immortal Starlight

Looking back my most absolute brain dead moment was marrying the total psycho who is now thankfully my ex.

Huntergonzo

I locked my car key in the boot of my car straight after passing my driving test. Looked I was breaking into someone elses car at the test centre.....say they were delighted they passed me :-)

Cutie 3.14

Anyone else ever have moment of panic when you cant find your car keys and realise 10 mins later they've been in your hand the whole time...

Carry

I'm glad I'm not the only idiot ...

Once upon a time I had a very old light fitting in the bathroom, one with a light tube to be put into clamps on each end.

The light tube was new, but didn't work, so I thought I might check if the clamps are tight enough and grapped them with both hands at each end.

I nearly flew out the window....

Huntergonzo

Cutie 3.14 wrote: »

Anyone else ever have moment of panic when you cant find your car keys and realise 10 mins later they've been in your hand the whole time...

Do it with the tv remote all the time.

Samsgirl

Parked in Tramore one summers day. Put a ticket on the dashboard so all legal and above board. Then in my infinite wisdom, I put a silver screen on the windscreen to keep the car cool for the day. Yeah, I got a parking ticket from the warden.
In fairness I took photos of my stupidity, pleaded my case and they quashed the ticket.

Cody montana

Work colleague in London, her husband died in car crash in Poland.
They were having a memorial mass in Ealing at 9.
The entire mass was in a polish, so so couldn’t understand anything and I couldn’t see anyone from work.
Was complaining at work it was disgraceful that no one else turned up.
They then said they were all there.
It was 9pm on Saturday and I had turned up at 9am Sunday.
They all laughed at me.

Snotty

I once tried to park in a parking space that already had a car in it.

heldel00

First time in Starbucks.
Delighted with myself because I thought yer man working fancied me. Flirted my arse off until I copped the whole "can I get your name" codology.

reap-a-rat

I have an unusual surname. Was making small talk with a car salesman. He asked my name, I told him I was Jane Doe. He said "Oh really, are you anything to the Does there on the right hand side just outside X village?" Says I, "Jesus, I thought I was related to all the Does but I have no clue who you are on about, I mustn't know them at all."

Boyfriend pipes up, absolutely gobsmacked and says "Jane, that's your house..."

Bobblehats

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Drunkenly falling asleep with a fan heater on on my bed when I was 18. I woke up the next morning and it was still on but covered by the duvet and my shin was quite badly blistered by being pushed against the heater face for hours.

Why don’t you make it a candle?

And wake up with your bed on fire and the flames licking your face; like I did. Of course our first instinct is to put it out with our hands but a cautionary tale no less..

Purple Mountain

Buying my first car, I secured a loan for 6k.
I went alone to a car sales place, totally green.
The slick sales guy asked me what my budget was when I saw the car I was interested in.
'6k' I blurt 'how much is this one?'
'6k' was the answer of course.
In fairness, I was 20.

The Royal Scam

Struggled for too many minutes trying to put a really fancy aerodynamic cycling hat on in a bike shop one day. It didn't fit.
Shop had some cool saddle covers though.....

uch

For me, and I've posted this before, thinking witch hazel would easy my bum grapes, lads this is like sticking weapons grade chilli peppers up yer jaxie, I had to stand in a pool for 4 hours with me cheeks apart to resolve the issue

pavb2

Had a dental appointment and took my daughter along with me for company, the receptionist confirmed my appointment and handed me two sky blue, disposable protective hair nets. I put mine on my head, it was a bit small but I managed to stretch it to make it fit, I handed the other one to my daughter who stuck hers in her pocket and we sat down in the waiting room ready for me to be called in.

Dentist came out from the surgery about 15 minutes later and gave me a funny look . . . it was then I noticed the blue overshoe covers on his feet.

BeerWolf

Jet Skiing, in my teens, while towing my sister on skis. Looking back I saw her waving her hands. Thought she wanted me to go faster. Looking back still, she was waving faster to which I obliged...

Then it hit me.

I crashed right into the banks. She was warning me.

joeguevara

While in University in Cork, two of us were invited to a birthday party in a College apartment in UL. My mate had a car so we drove up. Spent two days on the session. At some stage I had lost my glasses but it barely registered as the drink was making me see double anyway. After the second night with no sleep it was time to go back to Cork. My mate announced that he was going to stay one more night. I needed to get back to Cork so he said he would drop me to the train station.

This was in 1998, well before SatNavs and the two of us without a clue how to get to the station. I told him to stop at a shop and I’d get directions. Jumped out of the car, barely able to see without glasses and with a hangover from hell. Shopkeeper told me where to go but we were cutting it fine to get their on time.

I ran out of the shop. Jumped into the passenger seat. In a booming voice said ‘straight on and fcucking step on it’. When the car didn’t move I turned to ask what the problem was. Instead of my mate, I was face to face with a fragile white haired old lady with a look of abject fear on her face. She was full sure she was either getting kidnapped or the car was getting hijacked. I looked through the back window, to see my mate in the car behind creased over double in convulsions if laughter. Apologised to the lady for my outburst and made my way to the correct car behind.

Not having glasses when you are incredibly short sighted sucked.

Deja Boo

Brillant thread !



...when I narrow down the long list of my dumbest moments, I shall post

keyboard_cat

I didn’t realize Down syndrome was a thing. I just thought people I saw with it were all members of the same family.
I was 16 when I found out this was not the case

paul71

Walking down the street with my head down. Walked into a telegraph pole, and apologised to the pole.

Porklife

matchthis wrote: »

Filling out online application for driving licence for my friend

Name : John Smith
Street name : Johno
House number : 6

Broke out laughing when reading over it on the make sure your info is correct page... street name, first time I saw it like that

Haha reminds me of filling in my visa to go to Australia. A bunch of us were sitting in the local all filling in the form. It gets to date of birth and the format is day/month/year. I'm like...day? How the hell am I supposed to know what day I was born on? I'm just gonna put down Wednesday. Hang on, I can't fit Wednesday on that small line...I'll just put Wed.
My friend looked up and said I don't think you'll make it to Australia
😊