Should i message this guy?

Colonel_McCoy

Just ask him to meet up for a drink. You wont have to sweat on it anymore.

Dial Hard

SusieBlue wrote: »

Absolutely not. You replied to his gif, showing your interest, and he hasn't responded. If he wanted to talk to you he'd have no qualms about doing so.

Try to forget about him and move on.

Replying to a gif with a gif is not “showing interest”.

For jaysis sake, OP, stop faffing and just ask the guy out. This is schoolyard nonsense you’re engaged in.

Heres Johnny

How hard is it to ask if he'd like to go for a drink or a coffee or a walk? I've done it so many times in my life, some said yes, some said no, plenty of them were friends at the time and still are. I was a divil for trying to get with people in a circle of friends. Had some great times, and I'm engaged to be married to one of them this year.

Dog day

OP, with the greatest of respect it’s all sounding a bit juvenile now, even down to the fact that you think one of his mates sent a gif for a laugh. I’d still advise treading carefully as he’s new to your workplace but to be honest I don’t think you need much more advice here, either decide to make a move yourself, wait around for him to do so or park it & move on. It genuinely isn’t worthy of such weighty analysis. Good luck & hope things go your way!

WrigleysExtra

Don't get laid where you get paid.

achmairt

If he interested enough - he would have done it face to face. Don't make the first move let him do it and you will save face if he passes you in the corridor and gets RED after you made the first move

Lotus Flower

I wouldn't bother OP. If he is just sending a gif that's not exactly making a huge effort

Dial Hard

Lotus Flower wrote: »

I wouldn't bother OP. If he is just sending a gif that's not exactly making a huge effort

Neither is she, in fairness.

Tiddlypeeps

You are totally over thinking this, you matched on tinder signalling you both have at least a little interest in getting to know each other some more in a romantic context. The cats out of the bag with regards to making things awkward at work, surely if showing an interest was likely to make things awkward then it already would have.


Messaging on dating sites is really hard, you know next to nothing about the other person and are expected to start up an interesting dialog that doesn't scare the other person off. So it's extremely common for both men and women to just sit back and hope the other party will message, it's easier and it shelters you somewhat from the feeling of rejection. The most likely scenario is that he is just as anxious about the situation as you are (will it make things awkward at work, will it result in rejection etc.) so is equally afraid to strike up a real conversation. The gif was likely a lighthearted attempt to start a conversation in the hope you would respond with words, but responding with a gif yourself just put things back at square one. Life is too short to not take action due to fear, just go for it. Be neutral, ask how his week is going or a question about any hobby he might have mentioned on his profile. If he doesn't respond then nothing really lost, you are just asking questions that you could just as easily ask in the lunch room at work so who cares, but it's pretty likely that he will respond given he matched with you and went to the bother of trying to start a conversation even if it was a poor attempt.

Lotus Flower

Johnny Sausage wrote: »

Only want equality when it suits them

To be absolutely fair, if a man is interested he will make the effort. This has been proven time and time again. If he is only sending a gif he is either a) not that arsed and just sending it out of boredom or b) doesn't have a clue how to start a proper conversation. Neither of which are great

Johnny Sausage

Lotus Flower wrote: »

To be absolutely fair, if a man is interested he will make the effort. This has been proven time and time again. If he is only sending a gif he is either a) not that arsed and just sending it out of boredom or b) doesn't have a clue how to start a proper conversation. Neither of which are great

she isn't bothering to message him

If she is interested she should make the effort

FFVII

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

What is meant for you won't pass you by.

Oh yes it will.

FFVII

SBM111 wrote: »

I am also conscious maybe one of his friends sent it for the laugh?

ah now?


what age are you anyway?

wiggle16

FFVII wrote: »

Oh yes it will.

Mod:

FFVII, you need to have constructive advice when you post in PI. Please familiarise yourself with the charter before posting in the forum.

ILoveYourVibes

WrigleysExtra wrote: »

Don't get laid where you get paid.

this..full stop

SBM111

hey guys.. i have an update and need advice. we have since been texting and have been on a few dates. everything going ok we both said we really like each other and are very happy with each other, get excited about meeting etc but he is still on tinder as i have noticed his location updating almost everyday. I do feel he is genuine, we havent had sex so i feel if he was only there for sex we would have had it by now. should i be worried or say something?

zapper55

That's great you guys met up. I wouldnt say anything yet. I've had a few great dates only to leave online dating and it didnt work out and I was sorry I disabled my account.

Also the location could automatically update without him doing anything.

Titclamp

He probably thinking the same as you.

FFVII

SBM111 wrote: »

hey guys.. i have an update and need advice. we have since been texting and have been on a few dates. everything going ok we both said we really like each other and are very happy with each other, get excited about meeting etc but he is still on tinder as i have noticed his location updating almost everyday. I do feel he is genuine, we havent had sex so i feel if he was only there for sex we would have had it by now. should i be worried or say something?

That's not how tinder works.

Tinder installed + location on = location update.

Plus, you need to talk/communicate with him. You're not official or exclusive so until u discuss that stuff. He can and will do what he wants.

SusieBlue

^ That's not correct. You need to actively go into the app for your location/km distance to update. So if his is changing, that means he's been active on the app.

PHG

Hi SBM111,

I use Tinder but no idea about location. trying to be unbiased here:

- If you can see him on Tinder, what are you doing on it?
- You are not official (from what I read), so what does it matter?

Look, I don't know anyone who has never had a peep on social media etc. (including myself!), but where possible try and cool the jets.

It sounds like you already see this as a relationship (or close to it), take your time and enjoy the time together. if it works out that is a bonus, if not then oh well... Otherwise, checking him out on Tinder will drive you mad and wate your time completely.

Hope it all works out

Lotus Flower

zapper55 wrote: »

Also the location could automatically update without him doing anything.

That's not how it works, you have to go into the app for it to update your location.

OP that's great you've had a few dates. The way things are nowadays with dating is that it's assumed to not be exclusive until the conversation is had or it's agreed. If I were you I'd delete the Twitter app from your phone (so you're not tempted to check if he's been active and also so you can reinstall the app if things don't work out), or else continue to date others yourself. You could leave things be for a while as it's still early stages and then make it clear you want to be exclusive if things continue to progress.

AulWan

Its been what, two weeks?

Chill out or you're going to come across as a bunny boiler.