Do you do your own thing?

pgj2015

I think I always have, if you invite me to a wedding or stag or something I dont enjoy I will never accept, sometimes I make up an excuse but mostly I will just tell people straight out that I don't enjoy weddings or stags etc and wont be attending.

I just think life is too short and you should do things that you enjoy and avoid things you hate. I have been asked to be a best man, to go on blind dates, to take part in charity events, no thanks.

whiskeyman

Such conflict in replying to this post...

EmmetSpiceland

Stags are great. I could take, or leave, a wedding.

lawred2

One thing is for sure, life is definitely too short for WhatsApp groups that you don't want or need to be a part of.

Leave chat immediately..

pgj2015

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Stage are great. I could take, or leave, a wedding.

I love a night out but hate stags, a load of men in their 30's acting like kids, oh look at us we are all mad dressed as priests, ninjas etc downing 20 pints and getting strippers, its pathetic in my opinion.

andekwarhola

pgj2015 wrote: »

I think I always have, if you invite me to a wedding or stag or something I dont enjoy I will never accept, sometimes I make up an excuse but mostly I will just tell people straight out that I don't enjoy weddings or stags etc and wont be attending.

I just think life is too short and you should do things that you enjoy and avoid things you hate. I have been asked to be a best man, to go on blind dates, to take part in charity events, no thanks.

Reati

That cavalier thinking was what led to my mates husband ****ing the babysitter on night and getting her pregnant. God that was a car crash divorce to have to hear about.

Neames

Do my own thing? I can't even remember what my own thing used to be.

Your Face

I like to push it.

Push it real good.

Yes I do my own thing. There are times though when I can't. In life there will be always be times we need to put others first. I know it's a hard balance for some to get right. They agonise over whether or not they should do x or y and if they don't what will be thought of them. My life is rarely simple but thankfully this is one aspect which comes easy to me.

JustAThought

less so that people think, but people are mostly happy in huddles and do not get outside that box.

PmMeUrDogs

I do my own thing sometimes, and other times I don't. If my family or friends need me, then I take their needs into consideration, usually more than my own. If they don't need me, I do what I want. I'd find it totally selfish and a bad trait if someone only ever did what they wanted.

CrankyHaus

There used to be a guy near me in his 40s who went around on a skateboard all the time with the same clothes and haircut he'd had since his teens. By all accounts he just smoked weed and hit the pub on the weekend.

Everyone laughed at him and called him Bart Simpson. He must well into his 50s by now.

Doing your own thing can be taken too far.

EmmetSpiceland

pgj2015 wrote: »

I love a night out but hate stags, a load of men in their 30's acting like kids, oh look at us we are all mad dressed as priests, ninjas etc downing 20 pints and getting strippers, its pathetic in my opinion.

I’d say I’m getting into double figures for the number of stags I’ve been on and none of them had any of that nonsense.

One did involve a stripper but it was the first one for a lad who got married far too young and the best man didn’t know any better. It was a day time “striptease” and it was more awkward than fun.

pgj2015

CrankyHaus wrote: »

There used to be a guy near me in his 40s who went around on a skateboard all the time with the same clothes and haircut he'd had since his teens. By all accounts he just smoked weed and hit the pub on the weekend.

Everyone laughed at him and called him Bart Simpson. He must well into his 50s by now.

Doing your own thing can be taken too far.

yeah but as long as it made him happy he was right to act that way. who cares if people laugh at you? that is their problem. he wasnt harming anyone.

Anesthetize

CrankyHaus wrote: »

There used to be a guy near me in his 40s who went around on a skateboard all the time with the same clothes and haircut he'd had since his teens. By all accounts he just smoked weed and hit the pub on the weekend.

Everyone laughed at him and called him Bart Simpson. He must well into his 50s by now.

Doing your own thing can be taken too far.

This begs the question - what age should you stop being yourself?

marieholmfan

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

I’d say I’m getting into double figures for the number of stags I’ve been on and none of them had any of that nonsense.

One did involve a stripper but it was the first one for a lad who got married far too young and the best man didn’t know any better. It was a day time “striptease” and it was more awkward than fun.

The problem with strippers at stags is that the groom generally is crazy about the bride and isn't interested in any other woman.

You should be allowed have a stag on each of your children's second birthday.

CrankyHaus

pgj2015 wrote: »

yeah but as long as it made him happy he was right to act that way. who cares if people laugh at you? that is their problem. he wasnt harming anyone.

You know that's actually a fair point. He was probably happier than a lot of his peers. The only argument I could counter with is that a society where everyone was on the doss would not function.

pgj2015

Deja Boo wrote: »

Before long, you may be living life alone in your own little world (and bored beyond belief)... A wise ah poster said recently "you have to (atleast) show up for people."I like that motto. Otherwise selfishness reigns ...plus there is so much more enjoyment to be had, than our own limited experience shows us - broaden the horizons and man up op, life is about so more than just what you want in the moment.

my friends and family know that is just the way I am and dont seem to mind, dont get me wrong its not like I wouldnt help them out if needed, I would and do but im sure they can have a wedding or stag or some other function without me.

Sardonicat

CrankyHaus wrote: »

There used to be a guy near me in his 40s who went around on a skateboard all the time with the same clothes and haircut he'd had since his teens. By all accounts he just smoked weed and hit the pub on the weekend.

Everyone laughed at him and called him Bart Simpson. He must well into his 50s by now.

Doing your own thing can be taken too far.

Did he give a schite about what people thought of him? Is he happy?

Snotty

Fine line between doing your own thing and having to do your own thing cause nobody wants you to join into their thing. For most, they will want the former when it's too late and they end up in the latter.

Sardonicat

marieholmfan wrote: »

The problem with strippers at stags is that the groom generally is crazy about the bride and isn't interested in any other woman.

You should be allowed have a stag on each of your children's second birthday.

And a divorce party on the third birthday of the eldest

pgj2015

Snotty wrote: »

Fine line between doing your own thing and having to do your own thing cause nobody wants you to join into their thing. For most, they will want the former when it's too late and they end up in the latter.

that wouldnt faze me to be honest, im happiest in my own company.

rob316

I do stuff for friends and family all the time I don't want to do but they do the same for me. Been there for people and them been there for you is what it's about.

pgj2015

Deja Boo wrote: »

My friends know the same of me, am grateful they don't (for the most part) allow it to stop them from inviting me places.

It's not that they can't have a social event without you - the interaction will make yours (and their) lives richer for it.

It wouldnt make my life richer, i would be bored and be counting down the time to when I can leave.

Ted_YNWA

Snotty wrote: »

Fine line between doing your own thing and having to do your own thing cause nobody wants you to join into their thing. For most, they will want the former when it's too late and they end up in the latter.

If I was to wait for people to join me in doing things, I'd still be waiting.

I have no problem heading off places on my own.

Similar to another poster, I prefer my own company.

Yeah I used to be one for saying I’d go to something and dreading it when it came to the time and having to go. Too long in the tooth now to be bothered saying yes to anything if it doesn’t suit me 100%, like having to stay in B&B’s instead of hotels or if people I can’t be arsed with are going, etc. I never had a stag of my own either so it’s the ultimate excuse never to have to go to anything like that.

Snotty

Ted_YNWA wrote: »

If I was to wait for people to join me in doing things, I'd still be waiting.

I have no problem heading off places on my own.

Similar to another poster, I prefer my own company.

Big difference between never wanting to do anything with people and just doing things on your own. It's giving lots of refusals to people that cause the alienation, not just being happy in your own company, as many people are while still having friends and family to do things with also.

Deja Boo

Deja Boo wrote: »

But it doesn't sound like you want anything but plaudits for "doing your own thing" --- sure, well done you, hope a rich life works out for you.

Maybe the OP really is genuinely content not going to social events and joining in with things.
My life is richer because I engage with other people and share my life with them. Other people however may be happy out living a more isolated existence.

Always Tired

At least once per day.

padd b1975

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Stags are great. I could take, or leave, a wedding.

Give me the afters of a funeral before a wedding any day of the week.

Deja Boo why must you always delete your posts? Can you not stand over what you write??



There is a difference between been happy in your own skin and doing your own thing and then isolating yourself out of fear. That can be fear of rejection or self limiting beliefs such as "they are only taking pity on me" or "I wouldn't like it anyways".

TheAnalyst_

pgj2015 wrote: »

I love a night out but hate stags, a load of men in their 30's acting like kids, oh look at us we are all mad dressed as priests, ninjas etc downing 20 pints and getting strippers, its pathetic in my opinion.

Only if your mates are dickheads. Otherwise its hanging out with the boys and a nice break away from normal life.

Ted_YNWA

Snotty wrote: »

Big difference between never wanting to do anything with people and just doing things on your own. It's giving lots of refusals to people that cause the alienation, not just being happy in your own company, as many people are while still having friends and family to do things with also.

Oh I get that.


I am at the stage where the majority of friends are family-ed up with kids. so any chance we get or meeting up do stuff, everyone grabs the opportunity with both hands.

I hate people who string you along saying they will do X, & cancel at the last minute. If I know I can't make something I will say it straight from the off.

Deja Boo

Deja Boo wrote: »

lol... read the first post missus, he is looking to be entertained every moment else he wont go (like a child)... either that or plaudits to "do his own thing" as an excuse not to attend.

I prefer not attending social events myself, but there is something more to be said for going for people, instead of refusing simply because it's not fun or worth your time.

I really don't see that. The OP states that if its something he doesn't enjoy he won't go. Is that the same as looking to be entertained every moment? There are things I don't enjoy that I would not willingly attend.

I do agree somewhat with your last paragraph. There are times when its important to go along for the sake of other people. Absolutely. If my dad wanted me to go to a GAA match with him I wouldn't hesitate.

Church on Tuesday

I suit myself.

Life's too short.

pgj2015

TheAnalyst_ wrote: »

Only if your mates are dickheads. Otherwise its hanging out with the boys and a nice break away from normal life.

yeah but a stag isnt just your mates, its your mate, and other mates of his, work mates, older relatives etc

barney shamrock

Stags and weddings are ok but only for 3 or 4 hours tops.
After that I've had enough and am planning my escape.

Lyan

All the time. But then again I have no friends lol.

rob316

pgj2015 wrote: »

yeah but a stag isnt just your mates, its your mate, and other mates of his, work mates, older relatives etc

How terrible new people you probably never met. I love a good stag do, especially out of the country.

marieholmfan

rob316 wrote: »

How terrible new people you probably never met. I love a good stag do, especially out of the country.

Yeah; people I don't know.

My friends are like this - most of them think a stranger is just a potential friend. Makes meeting up with them a massive pain in the arse.

pgj2015

rob316 wrote: »

How terrible new people you probably never met. I love a good stag do, especially out of the country.

yeah I suppose they could be sound but the chances of there being some tossers in the group is what I wouldn't fancy.

Sardonicat

Wild horses couldn't drag me to a wedding or a hen.

Airyfairy12

I do my own thing but I think theres a line between doing your own thing and just being down right selfish. I think its very important to make the effort for people, especially friends and family.
I dont really like social events, im very introverted but would like to think im attending to be there for whoever invited me, to celebrate their happy event with them. I might leave early but ill still show my face.
Ive actually stopped being friends with people like yourself in the past, just felt that I had always made an effort for them to show up or celebrate an occasion with them but when it came to me they were never there because they didnt want to be. Just made me feel like the friendship was one sided and tbh I felt a bit used by them.
Id be interested to know what you expect from your friends and family? would it bother you if no one showed up or if your best friend never showed up for your birthday, wedding, stag?

pgj2015

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

I do my own thing but I think theres a line between doing your own thing and just being down right selfish. I think its very important to make the effort for people, especially friends and family.
I dont really like social events, im very introverted but would like to think im attending to be there for whoever invited me, to celebrate their happy event with them. I might leave early but ill still show my face.
Ive actually stopped being friends with people like yourself in the past, just felt that I had always made an effort for them to show up or celebrate an occasion with them but when it came to me they were never there because they didnt want to be. Just made me feel like the friendship was one sided and tbh I felt a bit used by them.
Id be interested to know what you expect from your friends and family? would it bother you if no one showed up or if your best friend never showed up for your birthday, wedding, stag?

i dont really expect anything of them to be honest, my friends and family tend to do their own thing as well, they always have, i often do things like gigs, cinema, football matches on my own because of this. it doesnt bother me, i enjoy these things anyway. that is why i dont attend events i dont want to because i see them doing their own thing.

if i dont go to a wedding of a friend i will always send a good gift so they know im thinking of them.

Graces7

If you are not happy with your own company how can you expect others to be happy with your company?

Ted_YNWA wrote: »

If I was to wait for people to join me in doing things, I'd still be waiting.

I have no problem heading off places on my own.

Similar to another poster, I prefer my own company.

poisonated

I’m a bit of a lone wolf. I often go travelling by myself.

chrissb8

CrankyHaus wrote: »

There used to be a guy near me in his 40s who went around on a skateboard all the time with the same clothes and haircut he'd had since his teens. By all accounts he just smoked weed and hit the pub on the weekend.

Everyone laughed at him and called him Bart Simpson. He must well into his 50s by now.

Doing your own thing can be taken too far.

Entirely depends if he gives a flying one what people think about him. Self perception is the only perception that matters after all.

For all you know he could have lived the life he wanted.

TomSweeney

pgj2015 wrote: »

I think I always have, if you invite me to a wedding or stag or something I dont enjoy I will never accept, sometimes I make up an excuse but mostly I will just tell people straight out that I don't enjoy weddings or stags etc and wont be attending.

I just think life is too short and you should do things that you enjoy and avoid things you hate. I have been asked to be a best man, to go on blind dates, to take part in charity events, no thanks.

living the dream!!!


Do what you want to do, I hate bloody weddings - it's torture

freshpopcorn

I do my own thing most of the time. I have my own likes and interests and most people who know me know them.
I am not afraid to say I don't like something or want to go somewhere.
However if I'm invited to something and I know the person has hardly any friends. I'd go even if I wasn't in the mood.