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Cuan Mhuire question

  • #2
    Registered Users Posts: 241 ✭✭ sparklinglens


    I'm unsure of how to ask this question without coming across as judgemental.

    I have been looking into Cuan Mhuire rehab for my drinking problem, but I read that 40% of their patients on admission are homeless. I also read an article about a man who murdered a women he met while in rehab there. (Both of whom were homeless).

    I have absolutely nothing against homeless people, but I wondered about people's experiences in Cuan Mhuire, and the type of people they met there? I guess I know that homeless people can be rough, (not always of course), and I'd be nervous going into rehab in a scenario like this.


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Comments

  • #2


    Check out this AMA - might be helpful.
    I read the whole thing and then looked up the Irish Times article about the lady who had been in rehab.
    https://www.boards.ie/...ead.php?t=2058018574


  • #2


    I'm unsure of how to ask this question without coming across as judgemental.

    I have been looking into Cuan Mhuire rehab for my drinking problem, but I read that 40% of their patients on admission are homeless. I also read an article about a man who murdered a women he met while in rehab there. (Both of whom were homeless).

    I have absolutely nothing against homeless people, but I wondered about people's experiences in Cuan Mhuire, and the type of people they met there? I guess I know that homeless people can be rough, (not always of course), and I'd be nervous going into rehab in a scenario like this.

    Good on you for considering going that’s a big leap and a positive one. Which Cuan Mhuire? I can only talk about the one in Athy as that’s the one I’ve visited numerous times (visiting a family member). I found everyone really nice. The family member had-no trouble there and got on with everyone. There’s bound to be some people you won’t take to or like to be around but that’s normal in any group situation. If you chat to the staff about your concerns before you sign up for it they should put you at ease. You’d be surprised how there are all walks of life in there plus you are kept very busy with meetings and work and you are so focused on getting well that you’ll find you just slot in. It’s always worth giving a try if you are ready and willing. You’re only allowed a certain amount of cash and meals are provided but if you are going to the Athy one the food in the canteen is sooooo good! I actually miss visiting there. My loved one is sober just over two years thanks to his change in mindset and Cuan Mhuire. It’s changed his life after 30 years of drinking. If you go with the flow and just get stuck in once the settling in time is done you’ll enjoy the routine. Take any support you can, best of luck with whatever you choose.


  • #2


    blah wrote: »
    Check out this AMA - might be helpful.
    I read the whole thing and then looked up the Irish Times article about the lady who had been in rehab.
    https://www.boards.ie/...ead.php?t=2058018574

    Thanks for the link but it says page not found!


  • #2


    Good on you for considering going that’s a big leap and a positive one. Which Cuan Mhuire? I can only talk about the one in Athy as that’s the one I’ve visited numerous times (visiting a family member). I found everyone really nice. The family member had-no trouble there and got on with everyone. There’s bound to be some people you won’t take to or like to be around but that’s normal in any group situation. If you chat to the staff about your concerns before you sign up for it they should put you at ease. You’d be surprised how there are all walks of life in there plus you are kept very busy with meetings and work and you are so focused on getting well that you’ll find you just slot in. It’s always worth giving a try if you are ready and willing. You’re only allowed a certain amount of cash and meals are provided but if you are going to the Athy one the food in the canteen is sooooo good! I actually miss visiting there. My loved one is sober just over two years thanks to his change in mindset and Cuan Mhuire. It’s changed his life after 30 years of drinking. If you go with the flow and just get stuck in once the settling in time is done you’ll enjoy the routine. Take any support you can, best of luck with whatever you choose.

    Thanks a million. It really helps to hear other people’s perspectives. Can I ask was that your family member’s first rehab stint?

    It’s a huge step if I do it and I guess I’m scared. I’ll have to take time off work and tell my manager why and I’m obviously frightened of the stigma, and whether it will make her believe I’m not fit for work. And I don’t know what I’d do about my apartment. (I’m in private rented, sharing at the moment).

    There’s a lot to consider but when I hear positive stories like this it really helps.


  • #2


    Thanks for the link but it says page not found!

    Sorry this is it. https://touch.boards.ie/thread/2058018574


  • #2


    Hi there OP. I was in Cuan Mhuire four and a half years ago as one of four stints in different rehabs for alcohol dependency.

    My impression? Much tougher than the other rehabs I was in but far far cheaper. If you have private health insurance you can get into St Pats, Rutland, St John of Gods etc but you only need your social welfare for Cuan Mhuire. It is a 12 week programme so a long stint but it really helps many who go there.

    I was in Athy in summer 2015. They put you into a detox unit for the first week where you stay in your PJs and are medicated and under observation. It is a long stint and very, very religious with obligatory prayers, mass and rosary every single day, which I found very off putting. There are also many in there who are from very tough and deprived, criminal backgrounds so you need to keep your head down and not get into a row with anyone. Don't let that put you off -
    nearly everyone gets on grand and social time is usually during the smoke breaks and at lunch and later in the evenings.

    You will be up at 6.30am every morning, and you will be assigned a job to do during the day. There will be group therapy sessions (really more a series of lessons/programmes) and AA meetings. No mobile phones or anything electronic allowed. There is also a gym which is popular with the younger men. You can make phone calls to your family/friends most evenings when you can get a slot to use the much in demand pay phone.

    Visitors are permitted on Saturday and Sunday afternoons for a few hours and you can meet and chat in the cafe and garden centre on site. The grounds of Cuan Mhuire Athy are really beautiful and well kept - they were lovely for walking around in. Leaving the complex, unless for a medical emergency or very important personal business, is not permitted. Occasionally a minibus is available to run people down into Athy town to do light grocery shopping and post office/bank during the week, but you need to book a place for this service.

    Cuan Mhuire really does help a lot of people who go there and if you do go, make sure to get the most out of it. Personally, I felt that my final stint in rehab, in the Rutland Centre and then regular AA meetings (nearly every day for the first four months) and sticking with a home AA group, getting a sponsor and working the steps was what helped me finally turn the corner (with great support from my OH).

    I wish you well in your recovery journey!


  • #2


    whiteoaks in donegal very good also, similar routine but smaller and quieter.
    definitely worth looking into, good luck.


  • #2


    Thanks a million. It really helps to hear other people’s perspectives. Can I ask was that your family member’s first rehab stint?

    It’s a huge step if I do it and I guess I’m scared. I’ll have to take time off work and tell my manager why and I’m obviously frightened of the stigma, and whether it will make her believe I’m not fit for work. And I don’t know what I’d do about my apartment. (I’m in private rented, sharing at the moment).

    There’s a lot to consider but when I hear positive stories like this it really helps.
    As regards the apartment it should not be that difficult to arrange a short term let, assuming it's a month or more. A conversation with flatmates is a must here. Best of luck in your challenge


  • #2


    My own experience in Cuan Mhuire and in other rehabs with high levels of homelessness is that you shouldn't bring any money or valuables in with you (common sense really!) or if you do, give them to staff for safekeeping. Most bedrooms are shared and these are people in very early recovery who haven't yet worked on their behaviours associated with addiction - theft does sometimes happen.

    However from a personal safety point of view, I never felt unsafe. My experience is that there's a zero tolerance policy most places when it comes to violent or intimidating behaviour. I've seen residents kicked out for raised voices and threatening body language - it's not tolerated at all. And it rarely arises anyways.

    My own advice would be to avoid religious centres unless you're very religious yourself. I got recovery through Coolmine, which is non-religious and just as affordable as Cuan Mhuire. Most residents there (but not all) are coming in from homelessness, as was I. I wouldn't let it put you off if you're serious about working on your recovery.


  • #2


    I personally wouldn't stick the saying prayers every day stuff but I have met people who got lasting recovery there.


  • #2


    Thanks a million. It really helps to hear other people’s perspectives. Can I ask was that your family member’s first rehab stint?

    It’s a huge step if I do it and I guess I’m scared. I’ll have to take time off work and tell my manager why and I’m obviously frightened of the stigma, and whether it will make her believe I’m not fit for work. And I don’t know what I’d do about my apartment. (I’m in private rented, sharing at the moment).

    There’s a lot to consider but when I hear positive stories like this it really helps.

    He tried sobering up at home numerous times but whatever clicked in his head he finally realised it wasn’t working as his doc said he’s just wasting her time and wasting his own coming back every few weeks to get more tablets to help him detox. It all happened so fast in the end considering he was drinking for decades to be honest he never had the right information or the right support to quit. It was his first time in rehab and he threw himself into it. I think he’d hit a point in his life where he wanted more for himself. You know something, the more open you are the more the stigma goes away. I never hid the fact he was in rehab I was so proud of him and my attitude to it rubbed off on other people and if I mentioned it they’d say their uncle was there, or another family member is going through something similar. Addiction is so rampant in this country every single family has been affected in some way or has a relative or friend who’s suffering. The minute you open up about it other people do too. He’s a very private guy but I think ge feels proud of himself now when he tells people he’s off the drink. He still meets people asking where is his local nowadays and he tells them straight out and their reactions have all been positive. You might get the odd eejit but that’s down to their ignorance. But so far if someone feels uncomfortable talking a out it I will actually talk more lol I’m so proud of him..ok he still needs to work on himself but don’t we all but in the space of less than two years he went from having no licence, no car, too sick to work to getting his full licence, full time work and paying is way. I admire anyone who goes in to rehab wether they succeed or not isn’t the point the point is they are willing to try. To be honest I’ve changed Al Anon meetings a few times till I found the one for me (I guess it’s the same for AA meetings) they do not have to be all negative finding one that has a balance of listening and supporting as well as being able to have a laugh afterwards is so important. So once you finish rehab search for something that suits you, coming out of there is when you need to follow the after care advice from the centre and really look after yourself. It’s a scary but exciting time to be honest. But so worth it.


  • #2


    tdf7187 wrote: »
    I personally wouldn't stick the saying prayers every day stuff but I have met people who got lasting recovery there.

    I hear yah, my OH is in no way religious however when he went in he said he was going to participate in everything and just go with the flow it was like he set himself the ultimate challenge. I know I couldn’t stick the praying if I was him. He’s still not religious but he’s also not worshipping at a bar anymore 😄


  • #2


    JupiterKid wrote: »
    Hi there OP. I was in Cuan Mhuire four and a half years ago as one of four stints in different rehabs for alcohol dependency.

    My impression? Much tougher than the other rehabs I was in but far far cheaper. If you have private health insurance you can get into St Pats, Rutland, St John of Gods etc but you only need your social welfare for Cuan Mhuire. It is a 12 week programme so a long stint but it really helps many who go there.

    I was in Athy in summer 2015. They put you into a detox unit for the first week where you stay in your PJs and are medicated and under observation. It is a long stint and very, very religious with obligatory prayers, mass and rosary every single day, which I found very off putting. There are also many in there who are from very tough and deprived, criminal backgrounds so you need to keep your head down and not get into a row with anyone. Don't let that put you off -
    nearly everyone gets on grand and social time is usually during the smoke breaks and at lunch and later in the evenings.

    You will be up at 6.30am every morning, and you will be assigned a job to do during the day. There will be group therapy sessions (really more a series of lessons/programmes) and AA meetings. No mobile phones or anything electronic allowed. There is also a gym which is popular with the younger men. You can make phone calls to your family/friends most evenings when you can get a slot to use the much in demand pay phone.

    Visitors are permitted on Saturday and Sunday afternoons for a few hours and you can meet and chat in the cafe and garden centre on site. The grounds of Cuan Mhuire Athy are really beautiful and well kept - they were lovely for walking around in. Leaving the complex, unless for a medical emergency or very important personal business, is not permitted. Occasionally a minibus is available to run people down into Athy town to do light grocery shopping and post office/bank during the week, but you need to book a place for this service.

    Cuan Mhuire really does help a lot of people who go there and if you do go, make sure to get the most out of it. Personally, I felt that my final stint in rehab, in the Rutland Centre and then regular AA meetings (nearly every day for the first four months) and sticking with a home AA group, getting a sponsor and working the steps was what helped me finally turn the corner (with great support from my OH).

    I wish you well in your recovery journey!

    You hit the nail in the head and so important to have support set up for yourself when you get out it makes all the difference I think.


  • #2


    Anyone questioning the religious aspect of cuin mhuira shouldn't worry it's just like in school and they make you say prayers or whatever. My brother is their at the moment and he used to complain about the religious stuff but it doesn't bother him now even though hes an atheist.

    And op my brother is homeless but that doesn't mean he slept on the streets or anything. He got kicked out of his rented bed sit and had nowhere to go and thays where he ended up. I'm sure most their are like that. And when I was their visiting some actors from fair city were their and an irish boxer and a girl I knew from BlackRock so its not as bad as it sounds. It's a really nice facility I've been inside most of the building on the property at this stage.
    I wouldn't think your employer would have a big problem if you explain it well. Trying to sort out the problem before it gets to bad shows your of strong character and hopefully they will see that. The truth is a hell of a lot of people think they have a problem and can relate so hopefully they understand.


  • #2


    iamtony wrote: »
    Anyone questioning the religious aspect of cuin mhuira shouldn't worry it's just like in school and they make you say prayers or whatever. My brother is their at the moment and he used to complain about the religious stuff but it doesn't bother him now even though hes an atheist.

    And op my brother is homeless but that doesn't mean he slept on the streets or anything. He got kicked out of his rented bed sit and had nowhere to go and thays where he ended up. I'm sure most their are like that. And when I was their visiting some actors from fair city were their and an irish boxer and a girl I knew from BlackRock so its not as bad as it sounds. It's a really nice facility I've been inside most of the building on the property at this stage.
    I wouldn't think your employer would have a big problem if you explain it well. Trying to sort out the problem before it gets to bad shows your of strong character and hopefully they will see that. The truth is a hell of a lot of people think they have a problem and can relate so hopefully they understand.

    The religious aspect of a lot of these places put my OH off for a long time ..or it was just an excuse. He’s not religious at all but I think it was more the routine that helped him put up with it and he went whole hog attended everything he was asked to. For a guy who said he doesn’t plan anything he thrives on the routine. The routine, work ethic and support he got helped hugely but he still had to want it and he did.


  • #2


    iamtony wrote: »
    Anyone questioning the religious aspect of cuin mhuira shouldn't worry it's just like in school and they make you say prayers or whatever. My brother is their at the moment and he used to complain about the religious stuff but it doesn't bother him now even though hes an atheist.

    And op my brother is homeless but that doesn't mean he slept on the streets or anything. He got kicked out of his rented bed sit and had nowhere to go and thays where he ended up. I'm sure most their are like that. And when I was their visiting some actors from fair city were their and an irish boxer and a girl I knew from BlackRock so its not as bad as it sounds. It's a really nice facility I've been inside most of the building on the property at this stage.
    I wouldn't think your employer would have a big problem if you explain it well. Trying to sort out the problem before it gets to bad shows your of strong character and hopefully they will see that. The truth is a hell of a lot of people think they have a problem and can relate so hopefully they understand.

    I have to disagree with you when you say people shouldn't worry about the religious aspect in Cuan Mhuire. It is a HUGE part of the program, mass everyday, rosary every evening and one of the weeks "counselling" is facilitated by a Nun talking about religion!
    If you are not religious then this could be a big stumbling block for you. It was for me, I stayed the full term but found myself more thinking more about the religious side of it rather than anything else.
    I hit the bottle more or less as soon as I got out!


  • #2


    drunk_monk wrote: »
    I have to disagree with you when you say people shouldn't worry about the religious aspect in Cuan Mhuire. It is a HUGE part of the program, mass everyday, rosary every evening and one of the weeks "counselling" is facilitated by a Nun talking about religion!
    If you are not religious then this could be a big stumbling block for you. It was for me, I stayed the full term but found myself more thinking more about the religious side of it rather than anything else.
    I hit the bottle more or less as soon as I got out!
    Sorry to hear it didnt work for you. Ive never been through the program so you know more than me! I was just giving my thoughts on it from what i knew.


  • #2


    iamtony wrote: »
    Sorry to hear it didnt work for you. Ive never been through the program so you know more than me! I was just giving my thoughts on it from what i knew.

    Everyone is different so everyone’s experience is different. My oh treated the religious part as just part of the routine. I think he could have participated better in the counselling sessions but he went there to de tox, give himself time away to think and prepare himself to get back into a sober way of life. He had commitments he needed to step up to and support outside. He doesn’t go to meetings or counselling and has still a lot of work to do but I think the key is if you really want it badly you will try anything but your head has to be in the right space. Even if it wasn’t religious my oh would have used another excuse not to go (his original excuse was it’s too religious and how could he possible not work for that length of time ..he wasn’t solidly working). It took time for him to get with the programme and the masses are short but you aren’t forced to go either. It’s worth a try and at least once you’ve tried you’ll know what better suits you you just don’t know till you try.


  • #2


    Everyone is different so everyone’s experience is different. My oh treated the religious part as just part of the routine. I think he could have participated better in the counselling sessions but he went there to de tox, give himself time away to think and prepare himself to get back into a sober way of life. He had commitments he needed to step up to and support outside. He doesn’t go to meetings or counselling and has still a lot of work to do but I think the key is if you really want it badly you will try anything but your head has to be in the right space. Even if it wasn’t religious my oh would have used another excuse not to go (his original excuse was it’s too religious and how could he possible not work for that length of time ..he wasn’t solidly working). It took time for him to get with the programme and the masses are short but you aren’t forced to go either. It’s worth a try and at least once you’ve tried you’ll know what better suits you you just don’t know till you try.

    Well that's good that they changed that as when I was there last year you had to go to mass everyday, there was no getting out of it.


  • #2


    drunk_monk wrote: »
    Well that's good that they changed that as when I was there last year you had to go to mass everyday, there was no getting out of it.

    Same when I was there.

    Even the guys detoxing were made go there in their pyjamas. It wasn't unheard of for someone just in to have a withdrawal seizure in mass.


  • #2


    Same when I was there.

    Even the guys detoxing were made go there in their pyjamas. It wasn't unheard of for someone just in to have a withdrawal seizure in mass.

    Which C. Mhuire was that one?


  • #2


    Which C. Mhuire was that one?

    Athy and Limerick


  • #2


    I was in Athy Jan - Apr 2019

    I would think that if they have laxed the requirement for going to mass then it's because of Covid. There is no way sister Consillio would let anyone miss mass otherwise. Like the other poster said, we had to go to mass in our pajamas's whilst de-toxing, which is actually the only time you are allowed to leave the small de-tox area by the way.


  • #2


    I was in Cuan Mhuire Athy from May to July 2015. The religious aspect was a central feature there, with compulsory mass (which was ok) and the much longer rosary in the evenings, which I certainly did not like. Religion is forced down your throat in Cuan Mhuire, whether the people there in recovery like it or not. I know people do get sober there so it does work for some and that is to be lauded, but so many men I met there had been in and out of the place many times, some for over a decade.

    I stayed for the full 12 weeks in Athy but relapsed about 6 weeks after leaving. Aftercare was minimal and IMO from my various stints in rehab the most critical time is when you leave the facility. What I disliked most about Athy though was the horrendous dressing down we would all be given on a Monday morning, all our faults picked out and criticised and no positive affirmation or encouragement whatsoever. It was like out of a 1950s boarding school. Dreadful - and no way to treat adults in the 21st Century.

    Another weakness was the minimal level of one to one counselling, of which I got only in the final 3-4 weeks of my stay there. I have to say that the counsellor I had was a lovely person and very professional.

    The biggest plus about the Cuan Mhuire facilities are that they are very cheap compared to other rehabs - you only need your social welfare to be admitted.


  • #2


    The problem at the minute is demand. There is a 4 month waiting list in Newry alone.

    I know this as I've spent countless phonecalls this week tryi to get in somewhe, anywhere.

    I decided enough was eno and went to casualty last Monday and got out of hospital yesterday, was some physciatric issues also such as self harm which came from my drinking.

    Don't have vhi etc. so your options really are limited.
    Hope to get in to Athy as I can't take a year out of work, they are going to give me an extended leave of absence so the 3 months is all I can do.

    I tried one place in Tipperary and it was 6,500 for a month.

    Had all my liver tests done and we're okay except for fatty tissue that if I continued drinking I wouldn't be okay.

    Sorry for rambling but it's been a rough week :(


  • #2


    Hi petes, unfortunately as you have seen it can be very frustrating trying to get into residential care, especially when you do not have health insurance. If you ring Cuan Mhuire daily you will eventually get a place. For me I think it was around two weeks of ringing every day at 10-10am before I got in. There's also a place in Tullow, Co. Carlow that you may not have tried. St. Frances farm, this is a very good place at a minimal cost, again a referral would be good if you can get one.
    I'm not sure where you are based in Ireland but here in the Southeast you can get a referral from Ardú, there contact details are here

    Whilst you are waiting for a place there are online meetings available from various groups:

    smartrecovery.ie
    Lifering.ie
    AA

    Smart Recovery is the group that is most helpful for me as it's CBT based and has many tools to help to cope with triggers, urges and your thought processes around your addiction. I have their handbook that I can send you if you PM me your email address.

    I wish you all the best and good luck.

    DM


  • #2


    Coolmine is an option too, if you'd be able to stretch to 5 months off work. Unfortunately there'll be a waiting period there too. It's non-religious and as affordable as Cuan Mhuire. Much better programme overall.


  • #2


    Thanks guys, my referral from my doc has already been sent to athy as requested by them so see where that leads

    Limited broadband here so online zoom meeting s don't work which is a pity.

    Was talking to Coolmine yesterday too, can't take that much time, the 3 months would be the max and yeah mad waiting times.

    Rang loads 🙂

    This is something I absolutely want.

    Seems there are so many out there struggling which is really sad :(


  • #2


    Cuan Mhuire, just ring and ring every single day. They often have beds pop up available at the last minute (e.g. Someone decides not to go in) and they don't always give it to the next in line, if they know you're really desperate to get in you may get lucky.


  • #2


    Cuan Mhuire, just ring and ring every single day. They often have beds pop up available at the last minute (e.g. Someone decides not to go in) and they don't always give it to the next in line, if they know you're really desperate to get in you may get lucky.

    Might try that, will be ringing on Monday to make sure they received my referral anyway.


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