Being harrassed by an ex when I have long since moved on...

Star02

Hi all. New poster to boards. I have a bit of an issue thats been causing me upset over the last few days..

I've been in a great relationship with my now boyfriend for nearly 4 years now. Many years ago though when I was younger and very stupid I got into a relationship with a guy that looking back now was a huge mistake as he was (and still is) a drug dealer and who is known to text girls as young as 14. Of course I was horrified at this and quickly kicked him to the curb and completely cut him out of my life, blocked him on all social media and phone number blocked on all platforms. That was 5 years ago now.

Long story short I ended up going to the local garda station on Christmas Eve to report a number that was ringing me every night over the last week. The guarda texted me that evening to tell me they found out who it was from-this ex. Obviously with a new number now and still has my number (shudder) I was horrified and disgusted. Im so angry and upset that this person wont leave me be after all these years. My garda station is only part time and I am working the rest of this week so I wont be able to speak directly to the garda again about it until monday as I want to take serious action over this. I am horrified that this person still has my number after all these years. I want to make it clear that I have NOT had any contact with this ex in 5 years. Once I ended it, that was it.

I know this person has a girlfriend (didnt go out of my way to find that out, just was aware from seeing from a distance) I feel like I should contact her through fb messenger with screenshots of the guarda texting me what her boyfriend is up to. I feel this girl should know what kind of weirdo she is going out with.

I really dont want to have to change my number because of this tool, the guard said in her text that she didnt get a chance to speak directly with him yet about the matter as she knows how spooked I was when I reported it to her initially. Apart from hiring a hitman at this stage, what advice can you give me please?

Mehaffey1

Sorry to hear this, must be horrific.

Only advice I'll give is to keep your dealings through the Guards and don't be going off on solo missions warning his current gf etc. There's every chance she's as off the walls as himself and would tell him the minute you contacted her.

Addle

Block his new number.
Do not get in touch with his girlfriend.
If he gets in touch again, let the Gardaí know and let any communication on the matter be from them.
It’s not unusual for people not to delete old numbers.

kirving

Under no circumstances text his current girlfriend, even though I think she should know. You don't want to appear to be escalating things.

Block the number on your phone, and chat to the Gards next week.

Lily_Aldrin7

Kevin Irving wrote: »

Under no circumstances text his current girlfriend, even though I think she should know. You don't want to appear to be escalating things.

Block the number on your phone, and chat to the Gards next week.

I agree, block the number and talk to the Guards, don’t escalate things by talking to him or his girlfriend- that will only make it worse in my opinion !

Star02

Thanks, yes new number is blocked on my phone and on the watsapp platform on my phone. I have switched my phone off before bed every night since though as I fear he will get the loan of a number from someone to try and contact me still. I also know that he has viewed my facebook profile from someone else's account as he has texted me things from this new number commenting about whats on my page (because I have his own page blocked from viewing my page). He commented how there were pics of us still on my page (I was full sure there wasnt, until my friend told me there actually was, only one or 2, but I was horrified so I quickly deleted them. I didnt have the pics up there willingly, no way. They are dated many years ago and so one would have to really be looking for them to find them. If I had known they were on there I would have gotten rid of them a long long time ago 1000% for sure. Alas I have been so busy actually having a good time since giving him the boot I must have not deep cleaned my fb page as well enough as I thought I did!

Mehaffey1

Star02 wrote: »

Thanks, yes new number is blocked on my phone and on the watsapp platform on my phone. I have switched my phone off before bed every night since though as I fear he will get the loan of a number from someone to try and contact me still. I also know that he has viewed my facebook profile from someone else's account as he has texted me things from this new number commenting about whats on my page (because I have his own page blocked from viewing my page). He commented how there were pics of us still on my page (I was full sure there wasnt, until my friend told me there actually was, only one or 2, but I was horrified so I quickly deleted them. I didnt have the pics up there willingly, no way. They are dated many years ago and so one would have to really be looking for them to find them. If I had known they were on there I would have gotten rid of them a long long time ago 1000% for sure. Alas I have been so busy actually having a good time since giving him the boot I must have not deep cleaned my fb page as well enough as I thought I did!

The amount of ways you can get in contact with anyone on the Internet and with social media is unreal. I had an ex blocked online and there was still three avenues for contact, email address saved from an outbox, Twitter direct message and Instagram direct message. World is a tiny place

LegacyUser

Would you not just get a new phone number, OP? I know you shouldn’t have to, but it would probably be the easiest thing. At least you wouldn’t have to worry about him contacting you through random numbers.

Steviewinger

Make contact with the protective services unit of the Gardai. They deal with this form of "domestic abuse" which is exactly what it is. Unfortunately the regular Gardai are not usually best able to deal with situations like this. It could get worse before it gets better. Best of luck

ILoveYourVibes

Don't tell his GF that will just cause more drama and give him a desire to engage with you.

Just block the number tell him not to contact you and let the guards have a chat with him. Just keep ignoring him after that.

Whitestripe

His willingness and ability to use someone else’s account to stalk/ harass you is a big red flag. You need to report this as I doubt he will just stop this when you don’t reply.

I’ve been in a similar place and it is deeply unsettling. Make sure to disable location services, and i hope he doesn’t know where you live. How much does your partner know about what’s going on?

Best of luck, this is very unpleasant

con___manx1

You can download an app to block calls and texts. Thinks its just called call blocker.

AulWan

Off topic, but it sounds like some Garda has made a serious GDPR breach!

US2

AulWan wrote: »

Off topic, but it sounds like some Garda has made a serious GDPR breach!

Yep. First I've heard of giving a guard a phone number and they find out who owns it for you. Very strange.

Star02

US2 wrote: »

Yep. First I've heard of giving a guard a phone number and they find out who owns it for you. Very strange.

I'm not complaining.

the_pen_turner

I don't see what the guy has done illegal. You say he rang you a few times. Nothing wrong with that
have you answered it to see what he wants

Have you told him you don't want to have contact with him

Star02

the_pen_turner wrote: »

I don't see what the guy has done illegal. You say he rang you a few times. Nothing wrong with that
have you answered it to see what he wants

Have you told him you don't want to have contact with him

Sweet suffering Jesus. You've clearly never experienced this. I actually envy you. He knows I don't want contact with him when I have his original number blocked and every other avenue blocked which he is aware of. Also the fact that I have seen him parked outside my gym more than once waiting for me to emerge. And having spoken to the gym management no trace of him ever having used the facility. Also making multiple social media accounts and having the gaul to add me on them.

Batgurl

the_pen_turner wrote: »

I don't see what the guy has done illegal. You say he rang you a few times. Nothing wrong with that
have you answered it to see what he wants

Have you told him you don't want to have contact with him

Nuisance calls should be flagged with Garda as they can indicate a pattern which constitutes harassment if conducted over a period of time.

They told him 5 years ago they doesn’t want to have contact with him when they dumped him.

Star02

They told him 5 years ago they doesn’t want to have contact with him when they dumped him.[/QUOTE]

This.

suicide_circus

might be time for a new phone number

Batgurl

suicide_circus wrote: »

might be time for a new phone number

Better to cure the disease than treat the symptoms.

suicide_circus

Batgurl wrote: »

Better to cure the disease than treat the symptoms.

or do both?

Batgurl

suicide_circus wrote: »

or do both?

OP has already said they don’t want to change their number because of this tool. And why should they? Why should a victim be expected to make sacrifices because yet another lad can’t accept rejection?

The OP’s number could be a business number and changing it could lose them potential revenue. Also, changing it doesn’t guarantee the tool won’t get the new number.

Telling the OP to change her number is akin to telling an assault victim to wear a longer skirt next time.

AulWan

Star02 wrote: »

I'm not complaining.

Maybe not, but you said you want to make a serious complaint about this.

How, unless you intend to throw the Garda who gave you his information under the bus?

You will be asked how you got the information that this phone number belonged to your ex, and if a Garda did give you that information then they could get in very serious trouble themselves for a GDPR breach.

Good luck getting their assistance in taking that to court.

suicide_circus

Batgurl wrote: »

OP has already said they don’t want to change their number because of this tool. And why should they? Why should a victim be expected to make sacrifices because yet another lad can’t accept rejection?

The OP’s number could be a business number and changing it could lose them potential revenue. Also, changing it doesn’t guarantee the tool won’t get the new number.

Telling the OP to change her number is akin to telling an assault victim to wear a longer skirt next time.

wow

Batgurl

AulWan wrote: »

Maybe not, but you said you want to make a serious complaint about this.

How, unless you intend to throw the Garda who gave you his information under the bus?

You will be asked how you got the information that this phone number belonged to your ex, and if a Garda did give you that information then they could get in very serious trouble themselves for a GDPR breach.

Good luck getting their assistance in taking that to court.

I’ll admit my knowledge of GDPR is rudimentary and restricted to commercial purposes but what GDPR breach has there been here?

The OP went to the Garda to make a complaint about nuisance calls. The guard investigated and found the source of the calls. During the course of the investigation, they checked with the OP if the source of the calls is someone known to them and what their relationship is. This is important information for the guards to avoid wasting resources. Where has the GDPR breach been?

AulWan

Batgurl wrote: »

I’ll admit my knowledge of GDPR is rudimentary and restricted to commercial purposes but what GDPR breach has there been here?

The OP went to the Garda to make a complaint about nuisance calls. The guard investigated and found the source of the calls. During the course of the investigation, they checked with the OP if the source of the calls is someone known to them and what their relationship is. This is important information for the guards to avoid wasting resources. Where has the GDPR breach been?

Disclosure of personally identifying information is considered a GDPR breach. Revealing the name of the owner of a phone number is most definitely personal information.

The Garda already had a report of the number that was calling the OP's phone - they do not need to check if the owner of the number was "known to them". They should have advised the OP to block the number and then passed the information of the OPs complaint and the identity of the caller to whatever area deals with nuisance calls to deal with.

the_pen_turner

Star02 wrote: »

Sweet suffering Jesus. You've clearly never experienced this. I actually envy you. He knows I don't want contact with him when I have his original number blocked and every other avenue blocked which he is aware of. Also the fact that I have seen him parked outside my gym more than once waiting for me to emerge. And having spoken to the gym management no trace of him ever having used the facility. Also making multiple social media accounts and having the gaul to add me on them.

I have actually experienced this albeit it second hand
My gf has a fool that keeps ringing her I have suggested guards etc

There us nothing in you OP to suggest he knew you blocked him and didn't want contact.

Most of the rest of your post is new information

You still havnt answered whether you asked him what he wants he might have a genuine reason to contact you. If not then tell him to leave you alone

the_pen_turner

Batgurl wrote: »

Nuisance calls should be flagged with Garda as they can indicate a pattern which constitutes harassment if conducted over a period of time.

They told him 5 years ago they doesn’t want to have contact with him when they dumped him.

That's not in the op

Ringing some as a stand alone incident isn't harassment
There might be a genuine reason to contact them

Hoboo

Since when do the gardai text people? Is this new, or complete horse****?

AulWan

Is it possible he was parked outside the gym waiting on someone else? A friend or his current girlfriend, maybe?

It would be odd if he suddenly started harassing you or following you around after five years of no contact, and doing so using a sim card registered in his own name.

Either way, you've blocked him, you've reported it to the Gardai, now let them deal with it.

Batgurl

AulWan wrote: »

Disclosure of personally identifying information is considered a GDPR breach. Revealing the name of the owner of a phone number is most definitely personal information.

The Garda already had a report of the number that was calling the OP's phone - they do not need to check if the owner of the number was "known to them". They should have advised the OP to block the number and then passed the information of the OPs complaint and the identity of the caller to whatever area deals with nuisance calls to deal with.

Actually “the processing of personal data by competent authorities for law enforcement purposes is outside the GDPR’s scope (e.g. the Police investigating a crime). Instead, this type of processing is subject to the rules in Part 3 of the DPA 2018.”

https://ico.org.uk/for-organisations/guide-to-data-protection/guide-to-the-general-data-protection-regulation-gdpr/exemptions/?q=article+4

The relevant section for this which indicates the guard acted completely legally can be found in DPA 2018, Part 3, 38 (1) (b).

Batgurl

the_pen_turner wrote: »

That's not in the op

Ringing some as a stand alone incident isn't harassment
There might be a genuine reason to contact them

Wasn’t a stand alone incident. That’s in the OP. I’m pretty sure the OP is capable of deciding for themselves if they feel harassed or not. Certainly they can do it better than random strangers on the internet.

SaintLeibowitz

the_pen_turner wrote: »

I have actually experienced this albeit it second hand
My gf has a fool that keeps ringing her I have suggested guards etc

There us nothing in you OP to suggest he knew you blocked him and didn't want contact.

Most of the rest of your post is new information

You still havnt answered whether you asked him what he wants he might have a genuine reason to contact you. If not then tell him to leave you alone

If someone is not answering your calls and blocking you on social media. You'd have to be pretty dumb not the get the message.

the_pen_turner

Batgurl wrote: »

Wasn’t a stand alone incident. That’s in the OP. I’m pretty sure the OP is capable of deciding for themselves if they feel harassed or not. Certainly they can do it better than random strangers on the internet.

i mean someone (ex) tried to contact you over the coure of a week as one incident. its not like there was months of calling.

the_pen_turner

SaintLeibowitz wrote: »

If someone is not answering your calls and blocking you on social media. You'd have to be pretty dumb not the get the message.

nice stealth edit to cover your insults

blocking someone doesnt stop the phine ringing on the callers side. you wouldnt know. i have acidentally blocked a few people with a new phone i had a few years ago. they didnt know ,just couldnt get through.
lots of people dont answer new number

AulWan

Batgurl wrote: »

Actually “the processing of personal data by competent authorities for law enforcement purposes is outside the GDPR’s scope (e.g. the Police investigating a crime). Instead, this type of processing is subject to the rules in Part 3 of the DPA 2018.”

https://ico.org.uk/for-organisations/guide-to-data-protection/guide-to-the-general-data-protection-regulation-gdpr/exemptions/?q=article+4

The relevant section for this which indicates the guard acted completely legally can be found in DPA 2018, Part 3, 38 (1) (b).

Batgurl, why do you have to turn every thread into a point scoring exercise? And that link refers to the UK.

Look, the Garda acted rashly. Confirming the OPs ex as the owner of the number, when no crime has been committed, is a breach of his personal data.

Making a phone call , is not a crime. Its also possible the calls could have been made by someone else with access to his phone - e.g. his girlfriend.

Besides, according to the OP already knew he owned the phone number - she claims he'd been texting about stuff on her facebook. So there was no need for the Garda to confirm anything. So something doesn't quite add up with her story either.

Starting to believe this is just another attention seeking troll post.

Have at it.

Hoboo

AulWan wrote: »

Starting to believe this is just another attention seeking troll post.

It's Boards starting threads to keep participation/visitor numbers up. Advertisement SLA's must be met. The whole site is littered with lazy, random, and long winded OP's started by new accounts who then disappear, and never interact in the thread they started.

hurikane

Hoboo wrote: »

It's Boards starting threads to keep participation/visitor numbers up. Advertisement SLA's must be met. The whole site is littered with lazy, random, and long winded OP's started by new accounts who then disappear, and never interact in the thread they started.

Actually starting to believe this.

SaintLeibowitz

the_pen_turner wrote: »

nice stealth edit to cover your insults

blocking someone doesnt stop the phine ringing on the callers side. you wouldnt know. i have acidentally blocked a few people with a new phone i had a few years ago. they didnt know ,just couldnt get through.
lots of people dont answer new number

What insult did I write?

If someone is not answering their phone to you, is not responding to texts. You'd have be pretty dumb not to get the message.

Star02

Hoboo wrote: »

Since when do the gardai text people? Is this new, or complete horse****?

Oh how I wish it was.

Star02

the_pen_turner wrote: »

There us nothing in you OP to suggest he knew you blocked him and didn't want contact.

You still havnt answered whether you asked him what he wants he might have a genuine reason to contact you. If not then tell him to leave you alone

He knows I have him blocked. When I first blocked him 5 years ago I got a text message from a different number all in capitals (obviously screaming through the phone) berating me for blocking me. He was livid he didnt have any control over me anymore. And also if you read the first few posts to this thread before all the trolls came along accusing myself of being a troll, it was suggested that I do not engage directly with him and deal with it through the Guards. Which sounds like sound advice to me.

the_pen_turner

Star02 wrote: »

He knows I have him blocked. When I first blocked him 5 years ago I got a text message from a different number all in capitals (obviously screaming through the phone) berating me for blocking me. He was livid he didnt have any control over me anymore. And also if you read the first few posts to this thread before all the trolls came along accusing myself of being a troll, it was suggested that I do not engage directly with him and deal with it through the Guards. Which sounds like sound advice to me.

Fair enough . A lit of further info has been posted after you op.

Batgurl

AulWan wrote: »

Batgurl, why do you have to turn every thread into a point scoring exercise? And that link refers to the UK.

Look, the Garda acted rashly. Confirming the OPs ex as the owner of the number, when no crime has been committed, is a breach of his personal data.

Making a phone call , is not a crime. Its also possible the calls could have been made by someone else with access to his phone - e.g. his girlfriend.

Besides, according to the OP already knew he owned the phone number - she claims he'd been texting about stuff on her facebook. So there was no need for the Garda to confirm anything. So something doesn't quite add up with her story either.

Starting to believe this is just another attention seeking troll post.

Have at it.

Posters here seem to be defending a man the OP says was (and possibly still is) a paedophile and drug dealer.

I am reassuring the OP (and anyone who reads this thread in future) that persuing this possible harassment through the Garda is the correct, right and legal channel.

I’ve demonstrated how GDPR doesn’t apply. If you can prove how it legally does, please do share. I’m fairly sure the guards know what they legally can and can’t do better than randoms on the internet.

OP, I thought we had entered a new era where victim-shaming and making people prove they have been victims was a thing of the past, but it appears sadly to still be alive and well. I hope you don’t let the opinions of some sad, narrow-minded individuals deter you. You have done nothing wrong here. Even if it’s a coincidence the chap has called you repeatedly, there is no harm having it recorded with the guards.

AulWan

Right so, that means I can pick any unknown number that calls my phone, go to the Gardai with it and they can text me back with the identity of the person who owns the phone number? Are you for real?

And you seriously think that is GDPR compliant? You already stated you had a rudimentary understanding of GDPR, then posted a link to a UK site. There is no "investigation of a crime" here as no crime has been committed. Ringing someone's phone is not a crime.

Batgurl, I'm putting you on my ignore list, please return the favour and do the same.

OP, relax. You've reported your concern to the Gardai, (albeit, what appears to be a very unprofessional one) so let them do the rest.

Batgurl

AulWan wrote: »

Right so, that means I can pick any unknown number that calls my phone, go to the Gardai with it and they can text me back with the identity of the person who owns the phone number? Are you for real?

And you seriously think that is GDPR compliant? You already stated you had a rudimentary understanding of GDPR, then posted a link to a UK site. There is no "investigation of a crime" here as no crime has been committed. Ringing someone's phone is not a crime.

Batgurl, I'm putting you on my ignore list, please return the favour and do the same.

OP, relax. You've reported your concern to the Gardai, (albeit, what appears to be a very unprofessional one) so let them do the rest.

If you go to the guards with a single missed call and try to claim harrassment, you’ll probably not get very far.

But there were numerous calls, enough for the OP to feel harassed and to go to the guards. Clearly they had enough of a case for the guards to take it seriously and investigate. Since McCabe, AGS have procedures they must follow for these things, including data and information sharing.

And GDPR is a EU directive right. So content hosted on a UK site, which relates to this EU legislation, is still applicable here.

I’m not sure why you are taking this so personally. I genuinely have no issue with you. I don’t agree with the advice you have given the OP, and am just as entitled to share my opinion and advice with them as you are.

Leilak

I think you are still in love with him. end of....

the_pen_turner

Batgurl wrote: »

Posters here seem to be defending a manwho is defending him the OP says was (and possibly still is) a paedophile and drug dealerwe dont know what age the man in question is or the nature of the texts.

I am reassuring the OP (and anyone who reads this thread in future) that persuing this possible harassment through the Garda is the correct, right and legal channel.

I’ve demonstrated how GDPR doesn’t apply. If you can prove how it legally does, please do share. I’m fairly sure the guards know what they legally can and can’t do better than randoms on the internet.there ahave been several cases that show that is not always the case

OP, I thought we had entered a new era where victim-shaming and making people prove they have been victims was a thing of the pastthis is the core principle of our legal system , inocent until proven guilty. , but it appears sadly to still be alive and wellthankfully it is after all that has happened in the last few years where this hasnt always been respected. I hope you don’t let the opinions of some sad, narrow-minded individuals deter you. You have done nothing wrong herehas that been established . i dont think the op has said that she has done nothing ,. not that it would excuse it either way. Even if it’s a coincidence the chap has called you repeatedly, there is no harm having it recorded with the guards.

.

Star02

AulWan wrote: »

Right so, that means I can pick any unknown number that calls my phone, go to the Gardai with it and they can text me back with the identity of the person who owns the phone number? Are you for real?
OP, t.

Oh lord, context is completely lost on you isnt it. Calls at ridiculous hours from the same number each night, followed by texts which read "u should ring me" and one hour later "be in your best interest". Tell me that does not sound creepy and any way threatening and I'll show you a liar.

the_pen_turner

Star02 wrote: »

Oh lord, context is completely lost on you isnt it. Calls at ridiculous hours from the same number each night, followed by texts which read "u should ring me" and one hour later "be in your best interest". Tell me that does not sound creepy and any way threatening and I'll show you a liar.

again more new information.

that poster is not alking about your case but rather that a guarda will take a number (potential random no) and tell them who owns it. that shouldnt and probably wouldnt happen.

Star02

Leilak wrote: »

I think you are still in love with him. end of....

Are you for real? The horrible yoke repulses me. (Oh and btw, stop trying to ring me its been over for a long time).