How many opposite sex friends do you have?

leggo

Ficheall wrote: »

How many opposite sex friends do you have whom you don't find physically attractive?

This is a weird question. I’ve plenty of friends of the opposite sex who I’m not sexually attracted to and don’t want to ride, but I’d still find them ‘attractive’ on some level because, you know, we’re friends so obviously I’m going to see the appeal of them being in mine and other people’s lives. I know people I think are physically attractive but I’ve zero interest in trying it on with because they’re not a good fit for me personally and I’ve had sex before so I’m not trying to ride everything that moves because there’s a bigger picture to life.

This is actually a sneaky fun question because you learn a lot about how people view the world through their answers.

HappyAsLarE

I’m a man and have zero female friends, excluding the wife who is a friend of sorts.

There is always something a bit off about lads who have female friends. Very outgoing, annoying types.

greenspurs

Another one of "these" threads started by Mr Feg ……………….


WTF …..

anewme

greenspurs wrote: »

Another one of "these" threads started by Mr Feg ……………….


WTF …..

In this instance, the worst thing about this thread is not Mr. F.

BDI

anewme wrote: »

Shocking and extremely disrespectful way to speak about someone.

A cross between a brood mare and a skivvy.

I think I know how many friends you have

anewme

BDI wrote: »

I think I know how many friends you have

A lot more than you obviously.

Wibbs

HappyAsLarE wrote: »

There is always something a bit off about lads who have female friends. Very outgoing, annoying types.

So being outgoing and sociable regardless of gender is a bad trait now?

I've a few women friends. Have had more over the years, but found as a general thing that they're less consistent over time and tend to drift away more than male friends, especially after marriage and kids.

cj maxx

I've had some very good and close female friends over the years. Lost touch now.
We could talk about stuff I would never say to a man and vice versa. However platonic you think your friendship is , I found sex , initiated from either me or her, always reared its head.
I don't think people of opposite sexes can be purely platonic as a rule but I guess there's always exceptions.

Wibbs

Never had any issue with the platonic thing TBH, on both sides too. Just mates, more like my sisters really.

wakka12

In my college course, architecture, men and women mix extremely well and there is no awkwardness. Honestly I'm surprised to hear that is any kind of issue within groups with an average age of over about 17 years old

wakka12

HappyAsLarE wrote: »

I’m a man and have zero female friends, excluding the wife who is a friend of sorts.

There is always something a bit off about lads who have female friends. Very outgoing, annoying types.

How immature

IAMAMORON

None that I have never bent over the kitchen table and screwed senseless. If they don't want to be friends after that its' their problem not mine.

That is all I have to say at this moment in time.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Loads. In general probably closer with my women friends but a lot of my oldest friends are men.

Sure I live with four lads and I'm only ridin the one of them.

IAMAMORON

The most annoying thing is when I get really close to a girl. We are getting on really well and then one time when we are close I try to shift her....

They always end up pulling away with a face like they have just eating something rotten with a shocked look on them like the world is ending? Even worse they never see you or call you again, it is frustrating.

Why do they do that?

BDI

Women have male friends to do stuff for them until they get boyfriends or women have male friends to make their boyfriends jealous.

Men have female friends because they like how their hair smells but know deep down that they will never get to sleep with them but just like being in their company so that they can pretend maybe they will sleep with them one day.

PoisonIvyBelle

I probably have a balance, but I will say I find men are usually more direct than women and easier to get on with. I like a lot of my own space and sometimes female friendships can be very high maintainence (for me). Oh and my best female friend is lesbian so make what you will of that!

bodice ripper

The vast, vast majority of my friends are the opposite sex, ie male. I struggle to get along with other women for the most part, and frequently have little in common with them. Consequently the few female friends I do have are very dear to me.

Wibbs

IAMAMORON wrote: »

The most annoying thing is when I get really close to a girl. We are getting on really well and then one time when we are close I try to shift her....

They always end up pulling away with a face like they have just eating something rotten with a shocked look on them like the world is ending? Even worse they never see you or call you again, it is frustrating.

Why do they do that?

Well if you're only getting close to them in a "friendly" way to try and get the shift, that's the problem. It's dishonest and nobody likes that. IMHO the clue is in the name "girlfriend", the "girl" part comes first(missus!), followed by "friend". Again in my humble if you're interested in a woman sexually/romantically lead with that. Don't try to be "friends" until you hope they feel the same way nookie wise.

Actually, thinking more on it... the "friendship" I've had with girlfriends is a different one compared to that I have with women mates. A Very different dynamic. I've even seen this difference in women mates and their boyfriends compared to our dynamic. Some would be high maintenance as girlfriends, but I never see any of that. To the degree that I'm thinking "hang on does she have a malevolent twin". One woman friend I know for decades had a theory on why. She reckons we know we're friends so the stakes in one way are a lot lower, no chance of getting up the duff, or jealous about other people etc, and we're sure of each other and there's none of the love chemical madness going on, so it's much more relaxed. Whereas with her boyfriend the stakes are higher and there's more sensitivity to that, ergo some extra cray cray.

PoisonIvyBelle wrote: »

I probably have a balance, but I will say I find men are usually more direct than women and easier to get on with.

Can be alright. #generalisation: I have found women mates are better for listening and the general emotionals, the talking bits of a friendship, the men are better for the practical bits. If I were stuck in the middle of the night in a sh1t's just hit the fan scenario, there's only one, maybe two women mates of all the ones I've ever known I'd ring. Every one of my male mates I know would show up. They'd bitch and whine and suggest I fornicate with myself and that my parentage is in question, but they'd show up to help. Two different approaches but both valuable in a friend.

I see sheep

0 because I'm married, and even if she pretended to be ok with it deep down she wouldn't be .. unless friend was gay I guess.
I used to have lots of female friends, I don't miss it tbh though, fellas are better friends to have - way less drama.

cj maxx

Wibbs wrote: »

Never had any issue with the platonic thing TBH, on both sides too. Just mates, more like my sisters really.

It depends on your living predicament. Our house ,the house I lived in in England, was the party house that people came back to.
It was a 24hour joint at the weekend with people there smoking, pills and anything else in the mid 90s.
In that scene friends crossed lines they shouldn't have

lozenges

Have a few male friends that I've known for a long time.

Would have had more female friends in college but over the years gravitated to the group of predominantly males.
I am very good friends with their girlfriends also, got to know them through the guys. Those girls are good fun but there are a lot of girls that I find it difficult to forge longstanding friendships with - too much gossiping and drama.

LeBash

Plenty from both. Very different dynamics if I'm with mixed group or all the other.

PoisonIvyBelle

I see sheep wrote: »

0 because I'm married, and even if she pretended to be ok with it deep down she wouldn't be .. unless friend was gay I guess.
I used to have lots of female friends, I don't miss it tbh though, fellas are better friends to have - way less drama.

I don't get this mindset at all.

I was in a relationship with a guy before who basically gave me an ultimatum about being friends with my ex (whom I had broken up with 3 years before that). His "logic" was that if I had enough of an emotional connection with my ex to be friends with him then I was clearly still interested in him. He'd apply the same supposed logic to any male friends I had.

That guy is now an ex and not my friend.
The ex he was paranoid about is still an ex and still my friend.

I see sheep

PoisonIvyBelle wrote: »

I don't get this mindset at all.

I was in a relationship with a guy before who basically gave me an ultimatum about being friends with my ex (whom I had broken up with 3 years before that). His "logic" was that if I had enough of an emotional connection with my ex to be friends with him then I was clearly still interested in him. He'd apply the same supposed logic to any male friends I had.

That guy is now an ex and not my friend.
The ex he was paranoid about is still an ex and still my friend.

Hate to have to tell you this unless you already know - 'The ex' you're still friends with still wants to have sex with you and will stay being your friend because it might happen again.

PoisonIvyBelle

I see sheep wrote: »

Hate to have to tell you this unless you already know - 'The ex' you're still friends with still wants to have sex with you and will stay being your friend because it might happen again.

Hate to have to tell you this, but not every guy is like you.

I see sheep

PoisonIvyBelle wrote: »

Hate to have to tell you this, but not every guy is like you.

Nah, they are pretty much I'm afraid.
And lads talk to each other about stuff they'll never talk to their female friend about.

PoisonIvyBelle

I see sheep wrote: »

Nah, they are pretty much I'm afraid.

Nope.

bodice ripper

Some of the posts on this thread have to be a wind up, right?

One of my closest male friends is married to my closest female friend. No one seems overly concerned about anyone else's motives...

I'd consider it a huge red flag if someone expected a new partner to drop all their opposite gender friends. It reeks of insecurity and jealousy, two traits that can make normal life very difficult and leave people isolated.

anewme

I'm female single and have many male friends, many if whom are married. We've been through births, deaths, marriages, suicides, job losses, financial challenges.

I've never been short of someone to hang a picture, change a tyre, assemble IKEA furniture and it's all done with genuine goodwill.

I've been there and held hands with my (married) friends when they need it, when their Dad passed away with brain cancer.

Real friendship is not about sex. It's much more valuable than that.