Positive/negative thinking

anewme

Rylan Puny Knickknack wrote: »

I see your point, but I believe we can easily fall victim to the "You can do it!" strain of positive thinking. Many people pursue careers in areas like music, acting, art, creative writing, and so on, telling themselves that they can succeed if they just have the right attitude — even if the number of aspiring actors, artists, or novelists who end up becoming big names, or even making a decent living, is infinitesimally small.

There was a thread recently about a young woman who spent her 20s pursuing a music career in New York, waitressing on the side, only to wind up back in Ireland, about to turn 30, with virtually nothing to her name and struggling to figure out a way forward.

Positive thinking, following your dreams, etc., is all very well, but it can also blind people to an objective, realistic appraisal of their talents, abilities, and prospects. That's when it becomes dangerous.

Personally, I am not talking about taking it to that level. We all see people chasing Stardom trying to be the best footballer etc when they are just not at that level.

We will have bad days, when someone we love passes away, when we lose our job, when bad things happen.

We all have good days, when we find a tenner, when you finish a project at work, a family event.

Then there are the in-between days, the mundane weeks, the Monday to Fridays where life just goes on. I can be very easy during these times to whinge or get down, for example as I said in relation to the Negative Nelly Threads, but just as easy to be positive.


The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Baz Luhrmann

Aongus Von Bismarck

I may have mentioned it before, but mindfulness based mediation is a transformative way of being able to slow down and observe the way you are thinking. We seem to live in a world where people are becoming increasingly afraid of being bored, or actually 'checking in' with themselves to take note about how they are feeling. Negative thoughts aren't actually a bad thing, and meditation is a phenomenal way of being able to recognise them, how they sit in your body, and how they come and go in awareness. Most of you should also recognise that you are hopelessly addicted to your smartphone, and that it is making you tremendously unhappy.

Morning is the best time to meditate, and ease into the day , and my routine is as follows:


5:15 am - My Sonos is programmed to wake me up to the latest podcast from the monks of the Abbeye du Barroux. They publish the chants of the Divine Office on a daily basis. I'm not particularly religious, but I am a deeply spiritual man, and find the Gregorian chants to have an extremely profound and almost hypnotic effect on me. I'm considering taking a 3 day retreat there early next year.

5:30 - Meditation - Mindfulness. I've tried other types, but find it to be the most effective for those of us who live a busy life. I use a meditation stool, and have an area set aside in my apartment for my meditation practice. I don't use any of those guided meditation apps anymore, preferring just a simple bell to begin and end the practice.

5.47 - Brush my teeth.

5.50 - Exercise. My favourite way to exercise is to get outside and go for a run, but I recently bought a Peloton bike and will sometimes take a spinning class instead. I always cool down with a yoga-inspired stretching regime.

6.30 - Shower, shave, sauna, shower.

6.50 - A cup of coffee. None of your Nespresso rubbish, but a bean-to-cup Jura machine.

7.00 - My newspapers, fresh bread, free range-eggs, and laundry are delivered.

7.05 - Freshly squeezed orange juice, prepare breakfast, listen to the radio, browse the headlines in the newspapers. My midweek breakfast usually features eggs, tomatoes, greens from my balcony, mushrooms, some pickled vegetables, and bread.

7.40 - Check my iPhone or iPad for the first time. Usually start by seeing how my personal portfolio is doing. My emails are scheduled to start arriving from 7.45 in the morning.

pgj2015

positive thinking is the only way to go, for example, if you were thinking of starting a new college course or starting a business, a positive person would imagine the good things that could happen if he/she takes a chance and starts the course or business, a negative person will see all the things that might go wrong and likely not pursue the course or start the business.

no one wants to around a negative person.

ben.schlomo

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

I may have mentioned it before, but mindfulness based mediation is a transformative way of being able to slow down and observe the way you are thinking. We seem to live in a world where people are becoming increasingly afraid of being bored, or actually 'checking in' with themselves to take note about how they are feeling. Negative thoughts aren't actually a bad thing, and meditation is a phenomenal way of being able to recognise them, how they sit in your body, and how they come and go in awareness. Most of you should also recognise that you are hopelessly addicted to your smartphone, and that it is making you tremendously unhappy.

Morning is the best time to meditate, and ease into the day , and my routine is as follows:


5:15 am - My Sonos is programmed to wake me up to the latest podcast from the monks of the Abbeye du Barroux. They publish the chants of the Divine Office on a daily basis. I'm not particularly religious, but I am a deeply spiritual man, and find the Gregorian chants to have an extremely profound and almost hypnotic effect on me. I'm considering taking a 3 day retreat there early next year.

5:30 - Meditation - Mindfulness. I've tried other types, but find it to be the most effective for those of us who live a busy life. I use a meditation stool, and have an area set aside in my apartment for my meditation practice. I don't use any of those guided meditation apps anymore, preferring just a simple bell to begin and end the practice.

5.47 - Brush my teeth.

5.50 - Exercise. My favourite way to exercise is to get outside and go for a run, but I recently bought a Peloton bike and will sometimes take a spinning class instead. I always cool down with a yoga-inspired stretching regime.

6.30 - Shower, shave, sauna, shower.

6.50 - A cup of coffee. None of your Nespresso rubbish, but a bean-to-cup Jura machine.

7.00 - My newspapers, fresh bread, free range-eggs, and laundry are delivered.

7.05 - Freshly squeezed orange juice, prepare breakfast, listen to the radio, browse the headlines in the newspapers. My midweek breakfast usually features eggs, tomatoes, greens from my balcony, mushrooms, some pickled vegetables, and bread.

7.40 - Check my iPhone or iPad for the first time. Usually start by seeing how my personal portfolio is doing. My emails are scheduled to start arriving from 7.45 in the morning.

No morning constitution? Wanna get your get yourself checked out there Avb. I like to take mine to the sounds of Wagner or maybe Mozart, depending on the mood.

Midster

I’m a big fan of thinking positive. Mostly because of my parents teaching me when I was younger how little point there is in worrying about the things you cannot change.
However, for the other things were action is needed, if the action is carried out correctly then there shouldn’t be any need to worry anyway.

And when paranoia strikes, and you feel in your gut that something might be about to happen that you cannot control, remember, you can’t stop it, but you can change the after effects after what is going to happen has happened.

So if your cheating on your partner and you think that there’s a good chance that there going to tell on you, and if you’ve tried everything you possibly can to try and prevent it from happening, but despite your efforts it looks like it’s going to happen anyway. Start thinking of the fall out, and how you can effect it for the better.

Abel Ruiz

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

7.00 - My newspapers, fresh bread, free range-eggs, and laundry are delivered.

Thats really good for the environment.
Maybe you should just get them for yourself on your jog?

bnt

The way I understand it, it helps to try to recognise negative thoughts and understand them, rather than deny them or try to force positivity. I think "mindfulness" is aimed at that too, but I didn't come at it from that angle. It's like having a negative thought, stepping back a little, thinking "ooh, I'm having a negative thought, why is that then?"

Johnny Sausage

i positively think you are a fruitloop

Potential-Monke

The problem is, what can you do/tell someone who can't get the negative thoughts out of their heads? As I said previously, I'm quite negative these days, but aware of it so keep to myself and avoid getting myself into situations where the negativity comes out. And I also understand the aspects making me negative are not something I can change, and with no change in sight I just have to live with it. But I'm not always negative, it depends on the situation and conversation.

For example, I had the unfortunate luck of eating in the same room that the news was on, and it put me into a terrible negative mood. I already have a 'scratchy' throat (working nights, they haven't figured out the heating yet), and then the misery and misfortune that the news brings; a couple with over 150 charges of rape/aggravated sexual assault/sexual assault on up to 5 minors, farmers who aren't making profit from beef but refuse to change to the profitable tree farming, LGBT+ kids telling us how hard their lives are in school, calls of racism in the Dail (a giant playground for giant overpaid kids), EU fining us €5m for some windfarm craic and €15k a day until it's resolved, the fact that the government are even entertaining the idea of letting that terrorist back into the country... It's all negative! And why i usually don't watch the news.

Regrading the mediation above, I personally think it's a load of ****. I've tried it, and it's not for me. But the same is with anything where people try to tell me to think positive, even in the gym I detest the 'GO ON! PUSH IT! ONE MORE REP!!!' people! What works for me is staying away from people outside my friend group in general.

And the hardest part of it? Other people telling me how wrong I am with how I'm dealing with it. Telling me that living at home with my parents at 36 is wrong. Telling me my pastimes and hobbies are childish. Even worse are the people, including those on here, who are telling me that being single is bad and unless I find a wife and have kids my life will be incomplete. That's the most damaging, and people don't even realise they're doing it (recent Emma Watson thread as proof).

anewme

Potential-Monke wrote: »

And the hardest part of it? Other people telling me how wrong I am with how I'm dealing with it. Telling me that living at home with my parents at 36 is wrong. Telling me my pastimes and hobbies are childish. Even worse are the people, including those on here, who are telling me that being single is bad and unless I find a wife and have kids my life will be incomplete. That's the most damaging, and people don't even realise they're doing it (recent Emma Watson thread as proof).

Who are these people though and why do you even care one bit?

Potential-Monke

anewme wrote: »

Who are these people though and why do you even care one bit?

They're everywhere. Family, friends, random people on boards. It's not until you're happy being single that you see the anti-single comments and people stating that having a partner/kids is the way to happiness. And I did care, so much that it negatively affected me. Thankfully, i'm over that, but it took a long time and lots of mental anguish to accept that yes, I actually am happy being single, being a gamer, etc.

Why did I care? I wish I knew, like someone addicted to smoking, I couldn't just flick the switch and turn it off. I had to surround myself with people who didn't judge or pass (albeit sometimes in jest) comments which don't immediately appear damaging, but the more you hear it the more one would rightly expect to start believing it, when it's near constant.

As a result, I'm fairly negative about life, but i've found happiness in my own little bubble which works for me.

It's like any idea, if it's reinforced by enough people, others will start to believe it and think if they're not achieving it that there's something wrong or missing in their life. Dangerous words touted from people who don't know any different unfortunately.

anewme

Potential-Monke wrote: »

They're everywhere. Family, friends, random people on boards. It's not until you're happy being single that you see the anti-single comments and people stating that having a partner/kids is the way to happiness. And I did care, so much that it negatively affected me. Thankfully, i'm over that, but it took a long time and lots of mental anguish to accept that yes, I actually am happy being single, being a gamer, etc.

Why did I care? I wish I knew, like someone addicted to smoking, I couldn't just flick the switch and turn it off. I had to surround myself with people who didn't judge or pass (albeit sometimes in jest) comments which don't immediately appear damaging, but the more you hear it the more one would rightly expect to start believing it, when it's near constant.

As a result, I'm fairly negative about life, but i've found happiness in my own little bubble which works for me.

It's like any idea, if it's reinforced by enough people, others will start to believe it and think if they're not achieving it that there's something wrong or missing in their life. Dangerous words touted from people who don't know any different unfortunately.

Glad you've found what works for you. I just smile at the anti single comments.

For me I could look at it two ways:

Negative: 50 year old woman, no husband, no children
Positive: 50 year old woman, no husband, no children

moonage

"I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And doggone it, people like me."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNx_gU57gQ4

Potential-Monke

anewme wrote: »

Glad you've found what works for you. I just smile at the anti single comments.

For me I could look at it two ways:

Negative: 50 year old woman, no husband, no children
Positive: 50 year old woman, no husband, no children

That's where I'm at now, at 36, but up until 3 years ago I was worried because people were telling me to be worried (basically). I have my own stress, but thankfully it doesn't include the stress of kids/mortgage (any more, sold) on top of it, which I reckon would push me over the edge.

Now I know that it's perfectly fine to be single and not want kids, as long as that is what I want (it is). I wouldn't say no to a partner, but I'm not too worried about it now, and the 'selection pool' is limited, as most women in the 30+ age category who are single still want kids (going by profiles on dating Apps and speaking to the few single women I know). When one doesn't want kids, it really limits the choice. But again, I'm ok with that for now! And I reckon it's harder for women to admit they don't want kids, can only imagine the remarks they get!

Leg End Reject

Potential-Monke and anewme!

There's a bit of positive thinking right there!

PTH2009

A few years ago I felt depressed and was prescribed anti depressants along with some other anti anxiety medication which I was on previously. Not once did it make me better and made me balloon in weight along with waking up in a bad mood. I was told by my doctor these would make me feel better. It took me 2 years to lose the weight these caused me and refuse to take any more. The sedation they cause is bad and i feel you get the same feeling/sensation off drink as you do them. I dont to be walking around a zombie thanks to a doctors advice

Waiting rooms in public mental health services are torture

Midster

Fake it till you make it.... works for me

mr_fegelien

PTH2009 wrote: »

A few years ago I felt depressed and was prescribed anti depressants along with some other anti anxiety medication which I was on previously. Not once did it make me better and made me balloon in weight along with waking up in a bad mood. I was told by my doctor these would make me feel better. It took me 2 years to lose the weight these caused me and refuse to take any more. The sedation they cause is bad and i feel you get the same feeling/sensation off drink as you do them. I dont to be walking around a zombie thanks to a doctors advice

Waiting rooms in public mental health services are torture

I'm surprised that the anti-anxiety meds (benzos) didn't work. Maybe the antidepressants were cancelling them. You should have felt more relaxed.

LaFuton

God loves u.

Bobblehats

Remember that

Midster

Only drug out there that does actually makes you feel happy is extacy. All the other drugs that you can get legally that are on prescription from your doctor only attempt to lift you from sadness

mr_fegelien

Midster wrote: »

Only drug out there that does actually makes you feel happy is extacy. All the other drugs that you can get legally that are on prescription from your doctor only attempt to lift you from sadness

No. Opiates and less so benzos, relax you and give you euphoria.

LaFuton

chemical induced happyhappyjoytimes are a borrowed and fake answer, you will pay later, and this applies to medicines and their doctors (pushers in white coats) {Unless somebody is properly actually sick and needs treatment} alot of experimental box-ticking and over-prescribing going on and the stuff they dish out usually (i have seen this first hand) makes the person suffering worse off

nutrition is actually, quite a powerful tool in defeating our demons, check out patrick holford, he's done some good work.

and lets face it, there hasn't been real drugs in this country since the 90s, its all watery mixed-down shyte now so dont bother, go for the real thing, run till ya fall over, pushup till ya puke, get laid, get drunk (sometimes)
you'll b grand kid