Finances

I'm trying to figure out if I am being unreasonable here as my other half has me believing I am.

Were going out about 4 years. Not married, no kids. She's awful with money, I'm pretty good. We keep our finances seperate and we're both happy with this.

We need to get some work done to the house, costing around 40k. We've known we've needed this for about 2 years. In that time I've managed to save around 10k towards it. She's saved nothing. We earn roughly the same, I earn a little more.

A builder is available to do the work for us now so I'm going for a loan (I've to go for the loan in my name only as her credit record is so poor). But my girlfriend has told me she is booking herself a trip to Rome for a few days on her own to take photos as she needs a break. I'm pissed cos I think she should be putting the money toward the house work and not going on holidays. She says she'll be paying back the same amount as me monthly so what's the problem. I told her I'm putting 10k into it and she needs to make a better effort and not be heading to Rome to spend money.

Am I wrong to be annoyed?

Sleepy

Simple (assuming you own the house jointly): tell her that since you've saved a quarter of the cost and are putting up the initial 10k, she can pay back 2/3rds of the 30k you need to borrow in order to keep things equitable.

If she still wants to head off to Rome then, leave her off.

I'd also be keeping a close eye on any future maintenance costs: make sure you're not always the one paying for them as should ye split at some time in the future, you can be sure she'll be looking for her "half" of the house.

Princess Calla

Finances are one of the major reasons for couples breaking up.

How was she with saving for the house in the first place?

I wouldn't be happy at all. It's one thing not bothering saving but then heading off on holidays is taking the p1ss. Does she usually head away on her own?

She would do my head in tbh, but then I'm a saver. I like the security of rainy day fund.

Princess Calla

Princess Calla wrote: »

Finances are one of the major reasons for couples breaking up.

How was she with saving for the house in the first place?

I wouldn't be happy at all. It's one thing not bothering saving but then heading off on holidays is taking the p1ss. Does she usually head away on her own?

She would do my head in tbh, but then I'm a saver. I like the security of rainy day fund.

She's living here the last 4 years but I originally bought the house myself and I pay the small mortgage on it. It needs updating and that's what the money is needed for. New kitchen, knocking some walls etc.

No she doesn't usually head away on her own, this would be a first.

Princess Calla

[Deleted User] wrote: »

She's living here the last 4 years but I originally bought the house myself and I pay the small mortgage on it. It needs updating and that's what the money is needed for. New kitchen, knocking some walls etc.

No she doesn't usually head away on her own, this would be a first.

Please be so careful that you know she's "the one" I think it's 5 yrs living there and she has claim to half the house.

I think what the poster suggested above about her repaying a higher amount is a good compromise. At this stage not much more you can do.

Though she could well cancel the trip.

While I'm not suggesting a joint account, as I think she'd be lethal would you suggest a kitty that you look after and both throw in a couple of hundred a month for the sole purpose of house maintenance.

Maybe she doesn't feel like its her house?
You bought it, alone I suppose?
Do you pay the mortgage yourself?

bubblypop

bubblypop wrote: »

Maybe she doesn't feel like its her house?
You bought it, alone I suppose?
Do you pay the mortgage yourself?

Yes I pay it alone.

No she does feel like it's her house she's the one always giving out about the kitchen etc not me!

I don't want to go down the route of her paying more back. I'd rather it was split evenly as if she had to pay more I'd probably end up covering her anyway and that could cause sone friction

Princess Calla

Does she pay rent?

Princess Calla

Princess Calla wrote: »

Does she pay rent?

No

Sorry, but maybe she doesn't see why she should put money into a house she doesn't own?
I can understand that Tbh.
Maybe you both need to talk about the house & who pays what.

bubblypop

bubblypop wrote: »

Sorry, but maybe she doesn't see why she should put money into a house she doesn't own?
I can understand that Tbh.
Maybe you both need to talk about the house & who pays what.

We have. I pay for the house, I'm ok with that and obviously she is too.
She lives there rent free the last few years and thinks it needs updating. She really wants this work done, more so than me.

If the issue was she doesn't feel like it's her house I would of just said ok and not bothered with the work, it's grand for a few more years. She wants this work as much if not more than me.

Princess Calla

While I get that she may not feel it's her house, I don't understand how any adult would be ok living rent free when they work full time.

She's basically a child, all her money is her own and she still doesn't have a bean. You're the adult looking after all the real life inconveniences like mortgages.

This set up wouldnt be for me.

Wesser

sounds to me as though there is a total disconnect and mismatch between your money managing priorities and this is something you should discuss in detail as it could turn into a major issue in your relationship. i dont understand why she isnt paying rent and sounds to me she is expecting alot for free so she can spend all her money on herself /luxuries. is she going to rome to take photos for instagram?

Salary Negotiator

OP you should have been charging her rent and saving that to pay for the roof.

If I was her I wouldn’t be paying to repair the roof on a house I have no claim to.

Princess Calla

Salary Negotiator wrote: »

OP you should have been charging her rent and saving that to pay for the roof.

If I was her I wouldn’t be paying to repair the roof on a house I have no claim to.

She will have a claim to half of it in less than 12 months!

Pretty shrewd on her part, live for free for 5 yrs, break up and claim half the value of the house.

I'm not saying that's what she'll do, but the OP has left themselves open to it!

Salary Negotiator

Princess Calla wrote: »

She will have a claim to half of it in less than 12 months!

Pretty shrewd on her part, live for free for 5 yrs, break up and claim half the value of the house.

I'm not saying that's what she'll do, but the OP has left themselves open to it!

INAL but I don’t think she’ll have much of a claim if she hasn’t contributed anything to the house.

Paying for the roof light change that.

Regardless the OP should get legal advice on what he does next.

Princess Calla

Salary Negotiator wrote: »

INAL but I don’t think she’ll have much of a claim if she hasn’t contributed anything to the house.

Paying for the roof light change that.

Regardless the OP should get legal advice on what he does next.

I honestly don't know the in and outs myself. I looked into it on a surface level when himself moved in with me, he still paid rent,but less than half the mortgage. Anything that was needed for the house I looked after. House was a relatively new house, so nothing more than an ikea trip needed Personally I would have felt like a mug letting him live there rent free.

We went on and had kids before the 5 yr rule kicked in so different ballgame then.

I totally agree that he should get legal advice or it could be a very expensive lesson.

Salary Negotiator

Princess Calla wrote: »

I honestly don't know the in and outs myself. I looked into it on a surface level when himself moved in with me, he still paid rent,but less than half the mortgage. Anything that was needed for the house I looked after. House was a relatively new house, so nothing more than an ikea trip needed Personally I would have felt like a mug letting him live there rent free.

We went on and had kids before the 5 yr rule kicked in so different ballgame then.

I totally agree that he should get legal advice or it could be a very expensive lesson.

I’m the same as yourself, bought the house myself and my name on the deeds and living with my fiancé but we’re engaged and will be married before the 5 year kicks in.

Dial Hard

The Co-habitation bill has to be the most misunderstood and misquoted piece of legislation on Boards. It’s not “5 years and they’re entitled to half the house” by any stretch of the imagination, it’s 5 years and you’re entitled to *apply* for a partial interest in the house, generally based on what you put into it while you lived there, should the couple break up.

Frankly I’m absolutely mind-boggled as to why the OP has let his GF live rent-free for the past four years but it may well end up doing him a favor should they break up down the line.

Princess Calla

Dial Hard wrote: »

The Co-habitation bill has to be the most misunderstood and misquoted piece of legislation on Boards. It’s not “5 years and they’re entitled to half the house” by any stretch of the imagination, it’s 5 years and you’re entitled to *apply* for a partial interest in the house, generally based on what you put into it while you lived there, should the couple break up.

Frankly I’m absolutely mind-boggled as to why the OP has let his GF live rent-free for the past four years but it may well end up doing him a favor should they break up down the line.

Cool, as I said I wasn't 100% sure. I'd still be getting legal advice though. As I said above circumstances changed for me (planned) but at the start I'd full intentions of legal advice once it entered into year 4!

LegacyUser

Princess Calla wrote: »

She will have a claim to half of it in less than 12 months!

Pretty shrewd on her part, live for free for 5 yrs, break up and claim half the value of the house.

I'm not saying that's what she'll do, but the OP has left themselves open to it!

It's a bit more nuanced than that TBH.

OP, if I were you, I wouldn't be taking out the loan. She's the one who wants it done up but didnt bother saving anything and now wants to go on holidays rather than help you out. You'll be putting a stone around your neck for someone who has such bad credit rating that she can't shoulder the burden with you.

If you two were to break up, you'll be left having to pay back a hefty loan for something you didn't even want.

I think a very serious conversation is in order. She needs to understand that she can't go swaning off on holidays when you're taking out such a huge loan - Jesus, no wonder she has bad credit rating.

I'd be saying it's on hold until her credit rating has improved enough that she can take out the loan with you and has better savings in place. Her response will be quite telling.

Personally, I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who has such a poor attitude towards finances.

helimachoptor

So living rent free and hasn't saved anything.

Op in your position I'd be really having a serious think about the relationship. As said above financial incompatibility is a serious issue and it seems like you've got a big case of it here.

Rent free for years and poor credit rating, how do you even manage that!

GingerLily

I am in two minds...

She should be paying rent and bills, no reason she shouldn't contribute to the house

But

I don't think she should be paying for doing up your house, and certainly not a large lump sum. It's not her investment, it's yours.

cannotlogin

I think the current position is only reflective of a bigger issue in your relationship.

I wouldn't pay towards upgrade/repairs of a house I don't own regardless of whether I had the funds or not.

That said, given the fact that she appears to have never contributed to anything in the past, I think you are naive in thinking that this will be any different.

How did you end up in a situation where she lives in your house rent free and has been doing so for the last 3 years? You have saved her thousands. A room to rent is unlikely to cost any less than €500 p/m so that's nearly €20,000 and it's likely to be a lot more depending on where you live.

Despite the fact that you have saved her thousands, she has saved nothing and has still manages to have a poor credit rating. So effectively, she'll never get a mortgage but she doesn't need to worry cost you are funding her anyway.

Is her selfishness not a turn off? Most people wouldn't be so brazen as to stay rent free in a partner's house. For their own independence, pride, self esteem, sense of fairness etc., they would need to contribute.

This isn't an equal relationship and she certainly doesn't see you as equal. Is there any chance you consider her out of your league as I'm not sure why else you'd let her take you for a ride in this manner.

She's effectively a cost centre that you will be subsidising for the rest of your life. Make sure you are happy with that position if you are committing to this long term.

In fairness she does contribute. She does the food shopping most weeks and we split the gas and elec. Anything we buy for the house like furniture etc she goes halves on and has done over the years.

How have I let her away with rent for so long? Fortunately I have a small mortgage and getting money off her every month was more hassle than it was worth. I was earning a lot more than her at the time and wanted to go on holidays and out for dinner etc so I suppose I let her keep her money to keep up with my lifestyle.

I'm not asking her for a lump sum for the house works, basically if she wants a fancy kitchen etc I think she should pay half, and remember she isn't paying rent so there's no reason she shouldn't.

I've taken advice on her claiming half the house before and was advised as was said above, she would have to prove what's contributed and as that's very little im ok.

zapper55

Food shopping is nothing compared to what shes pay in rent or mortgage if she was living elsewhere. I'm really horrified by her attitude. And it was hassle to get rent off her? Feck sake that's really really taking the piss. I'm female and I would be mortified to be in her position. I'd feel like a cheap cow.

Funny how the holiday has just cropped up when you've asked her to make the first real financial contribution in the relationship. I wouldn't count goes halves on some furniture as that tbh.

I think this is much bigger than the loan. And its a loan for changes she wants by the way. I'd call off the builder and let things settle for a while. I'd hate for you to be stung for paying for the entire loan if she refused to pay or broke up with you.

foodie86

zapper55 wrote: »

Food shopping is nothing compared to what shes pay in rent or mortgage if she was living elsewhere. I'm really horrified by her attitude. And it was hassle to get rent off her? Feck sake that's really really taking the piss. I'm female and I would be mortified to be in her position. I'd feel like a cheap cow.

Funny how the holiday has just cropped up when you've asked her to make the first real financial contribution in the relationship. I wouldn't count goes halves on some furniture as that tbh.

I think this is much bigger than the loan. And its a loan for changes she wants by the way. I'd call off the builder and let things settle for a while. I'd hate for you to be stung for paying for the entire loan if she refused to pay or broke up with you.

I’d easily spend €100 + a week on fresh food for home cooking so it does add up. I would have no problem living like your girlfriend and wouldn’t be mortified. There are plenty of similar women out there!

BUT Your enabling her habits and she does need to cop on herself with the bad credit. Leave her off on the holiday or she’ll get sour with you but sit down and have a chat about where both yere money is going and how it’s going to fund the future.

I developed terrible spending habits because I was enabled but in the long run a serious chat and a trip to the bank immediately after have helped to settle things.

Don’t let it go on as she’ll only keep spending her money mainly on herself!

cannotlogin

foodie86 wrote: »

I would have no problem living like your girlfriend and wouldn’t be mortified. There are plenty of similar women out there!

BUT Your enabling her habits and she does need to cop on herself with the bad credit.

I developed terrible spending habits because I was enabled

Don’t let it go on as she’ll only keep spending her money mainly on herself!

OP, I've edited this to give you an insight into how someone like your girlfriend thinks. I hope it's an eye opener.

It always amazes me when people say "I was enabled",when the correct expression/truth is "I took advantage!".

Dial Hard

foodie86 wrote: »

I’d easily spend €100 + a week on fresh food for home cooking so it does add up. I would have no problem living like your girlfriend and wouldn’t be mortified. There are plenty of similar women out there!

BUT Your enabling her habits and she does need to cop on herself with the bad credit. Leave her off on the holiday or she’ll get sour with you but sit down and have a chat about where both yere money is going and how it’s going to fund the future.

I developed terrible spending habits because I was enabled but in the long run a serious chat and a trip to the bank immediately after have helped to settle things.

Don’t let it go on as she’ll only keep spending her money mainly on herself!

Sorry, but a big, fat "me hole" to that. I cook every night and do the vast majority of the food shopping in my house but I still pay my half of the rent and bills. Any woman who has "no problem living like that" absolutely should be mortified and I'm very glad to say I don't know anyone like that.

OP, it's irrelevant how small your mortgage is, she should be making an equal contribution to the household living costs. If her food costs and share of the bills equal what you're putting into the mortgage, then fine, but it doesn't sound like that's the case, otherwise you wouldn't be here.

I have a friend with a tiny mortgage who moved her boyfriend in and also went back and forth about whether to charge him anything as she felt bad asking (as she saw it) him to subsidise a mortage she could very easily afford on her own. But she got over herself and he's happily paying a fraction of what market rent would be for a similar place and nobody feels taken advantage of or patronised. They split bills and he probably pays the lion's share of the grocery bills as, like me, he's the cook in the house.

You need to sort this situation out pronto.

foodie86

Dial Hard wrote: »

Sorry, but a big, fat "me hole" to that. I cook every night and do the vast majority of the food shopping in my house but I still pay my half of the rent and bills. Any woman who has "no problem living like that" absolutely should be mortified and I'm very glad to say I don't know anyone like that.

You need to sort this situation out pronto.

Look I’m just giving a different perspective as to how other people live. At the time I was also doing all the cooking, cleaning, washing so in my mind it worked out quite fairly. In fact that’s how a lot of marriages I know work. Is that enabling or is it taking advantage ? Depends on how both parties view it.

Don’t know why anyone would be mortified by this though it’s just how some people live.

OP probably best of you both chat it out she might not see it’s as clearly as you do.

Princess Calla

My reading of "enabled " is I knew what I was doing was wrong but no one told me to stop.

I'm sorry but that's a cop out. Take personal responsibility for your own actions. Don't try to shift the blame onto someone else.

Rent and house aside, I'm also baffled as to why she feels the need to head to Rome on her own for a break.

Why aren't you going together (apart from the 40k refurb) . I wouldn't be impressed if himself announced he was heading away on his own and leaving me behind especially to Rome.

Heres Johnny

My fiance lives in my house rent free. I always paid the mortgage before she moved in so I was happy to continue. She's a good bit younger than me and earns a good bit less, but she has managed to go back to do a masters degree, learn to drive and buy herself a very nice car in the last 2 years, I'm delighted for her. She keeps her lifestyle too, gets to go out with friends and buy herself nice clothes.
She does grab the majority of the groceries most weeks so it's not all one way. She would also buy most things like curtains, bedclothes, IKEA stuff, furniture etc.
Works for me, nothing wrong in my opinion. I just look after all the bills.

LegacyUser

Take a long hard think here OP, how do you see the future panning out? Are you ok with this attitude to finances in the future if you get married and/or children arrive?

I married a woman like this - we split up eventually

I earned a 6 figure salary yet lived like a pauper for the time we had joint finances.

I had a decent pension pot because I took it into consideration when taking jobs, made AVCs etc. She didn't

I made sure there was always money for essentials - she just spent every penny she could get her hands on. Criticised me for being mean, told me I needed new clothes but rarely to never left money for it. Looking back how could I be such a mug?

Now I'm separated and lost an awful lot of what I worked for. The warning signs were there before we married - I ignored them to my cost

ManOfMystery

So many things wrong here.

Look, on the face of it, if you wanted to let her live rent free - that's your choice. But if she has not been paying rent for years and only making the usual contributions to food and bills, then she should be in a situation where she has some money saved or can contribute to larger expenses. The fact that she hasn't got 2 pennies to rub together is a huge red flag and a sign that she spends wrecklessly, i.e. all of her disposable income every month.

When I met my now-wife, I was living in a rented place and she had her own house. After a couple of years dating, we made the decision to live together and she asked me to move into hers, as it made no sense for her to move into mine. I wanted to pay half the mortgage but she didn't want a penny from me, for numerous reasons - and I assume also as we weren't married or even engaged, she probably didn't want to muddy the waters by bringing a boyfriend into her mortgage dealings. This was not carte blanche for me to suddenly start buying ****e every month just to get rid of my 'extra' money. I instead set up a joint savings account and transferred that lump into it every month, with a view to it being used for wear/tear maintenance, repairs and anything else we were saving towards. We never had to use it much and in the end it made a huge contribution to our wedding costs.

The house and mortgage are solely in your name, so I can understand some reticence on your OH's part in paying towards work on a house she doesn't have any stake in. But I think given that she's been living rent free for so long, a decent gesture from any normal person would have been to offer some contribution towards it, bearing in mind how much money (€20k+ potentially as a previous posted mentioned) you have saved her in rent alone over the years. Especially as this work is something that she appears to be pushing for.

I feel like your OH has been taking advantage of your generosity and made no motions at all to save towards anything you may both need money for in future. This is a worrying pattern of behaviour and I can't see it suddenly changing in the morning, so unless you want a future married life where you're constantly having to keep an eye on her expenditure, I think it's time to sit down and have a serious talk. I have a family friend in a similar situation and him and his wife are currently in the middle of a fortnight-long row because she (having never paid rent or contributed to their house etc) has just spent £4k on a shopping spree and can't even account for where most of it went. They're not millionaires by any means, but again, its an example of how wreckless spending and financial disagreements can cause huge marital woes.

beertons

We all have mortgage bills, food bills and utilities. If yee earn roughly the same, where does her money go? If she wants a kitchen, let her get the loan and pay for it. She has a bit of growing up to do. Fast.

LegacyUser

New kitchens cost a fortune. Many people get their units sprayed , maybe new work top and they can look very good , for a fraction the cost of a new kitchen! How old is the current kitchen ?

Diceicle

If she's not paying rent she should be BRINGING YOU to Rome for a break......

LLMMLL

I see no issue with how things have gone so far. You wanted her to have the money to keep up with your lifestyle and chose not to charge rent because of this. As long as you are happy with that then I wouldn't listen to the cries of "being taken advantage of" and "enabling" you'll hear on here.

As for the current situation, I don't think she should be paying towards a new kitchen even if she is the one that wants it. She doesn't own your house and may never have any stake in it.

However, I would ask her to start paying some form of rent. You can use the fact that you have to take out a loan as justification that you are now under extra financial pressure. I'd ask her to set up a standing order that comes out on her payday. Do not have a situation where you have to chase her for money every month that she's already spent. That's a relationship killer.

I also think you should drop the complaints about her trip to Rome.

nkl12xtw5goz70

Princess Calla wrote: »

She will have a claim to half of it in less than 12 months!

Pretty shrewd on her part, live for free for 5 yrs, break up and claim half the value of the house.

After five years living together, she will be a "qualified cohabitant," but that doesn't give her an automatic entitlement to half the OP's home.

She might have the right to go to court and seek maintenance payments if she can show that she is financially dependent on the OP — but the fact that they both work, have separate finances, and no children should be an argument against that.

Regardless, 5 years living together = half your house is not an accurate interpretation of the legislation, in my view.

Diceicle

I think she should be contributing something to the Mortgage - even from the perspective of her feeling, she has some skin in the game. Does she pay for the weekly shop etc?

From her perspective, and as others have said, I would be somewhat resistant to shelling out thousands on a kitchen for (effectively) someone else's house - what if you broke up next year? She's out 10k (?) and you've got a new kitchen. I'm certain thats not your goal but shid happens.

It could be argued that by having her pay nothing and live in your house for free it is in some way infantilizing her. And I can see how some blokes (not saying the OP is doing this but) LIKE to take care of all the bills - helps to put themselves on the 'bread-winner' pedestal and maintain traditional gender-roles to a degree. That's my theory anyway.

She needs to contribute fully to the household commensurate with her salary to feel like a fully engaged member of this team.

moonage

Deleted User wrote: »

She lives there rent free the last few years and thinks it needs updating. She really wants this work done, more so than me.

If the issue was she doesn't feel like it's her house I would of just said ok and not bothered with the work, it's grand for a few more years. She wants this work as much if not more than me.

When she comes back from Rome tell her you've decided not to get the work done to your house. You're quite happy with your house as it is, at least for another few years.

emilymemily

Sounds like you are her piggy bank. Why would she bother saving when you cover all the costs?
She is a spoiled little princess that will bleed you dry if you let her.

dellas1979

OP - I think other posters are being very hard on her - after all, she does do the odd shop and pays half an electricity bill.

(hoping reverse psychology will work here!)

One other question, if you don't take the loan out to do these works, what is her reply to this/what does she say? Is it an ultimatum?

lawred2

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I'm trying to figure out if I am being unreasonable here as my other half has me believing I am.

Were going out about 4 years. Not married, no kids. She's awful with money, I'm pretty good. We keep our finances seperate and we're both happy with this.

We need to get some work done to the house, costing around 40k. We've known we've needed this for about 2 years. In that time I've managed to save around 10k towards it. She's saved nothing. We earn roughly the same, I earn a little more.

A builder is available to do the work for us now so I'm going for a loan (I've to go for the loan in my name only as her credit record is so poor). But my girlfriend has told me she is booking herself a trip to Rome for a few days on her own to take photos as she needs a break. I'm pissed cos I think she should be putting the money toward the house work and not going on holidays. She says she'll be paying back the same amount as me monthly so what's the problem. I told her I'm putting 10k into it and she needs to make a better effort and not be heading to Rome to spend money.

Am I wrong to be annoyed?

Ask her when you can expect the 20k towards the refurb work?

You're being taken for a mug.

Paddy Cow

Deleted User wrote: »

Rent free for years and poor credit rating, how do you even manage that!

And no savings!

Op she has some cheek pushing for a 40 grand makeover you don't need without contributing anything and suddenly swanning off on holiday. I'd be p!ssed. She seriously needs to address her attitude. What happens if you got sick or fired and you both had to rely on her being the money earner? Imagine trying to pay back the loan with just her income. Think long and hard about this.

lawred2

bubblypop wrote: »

Sorry, but maybe she doesn't see why she should put money into a house she doesn't own?
I can understand that Tbh.
Maybe you both need to talk about the house & who pays what.

She doesn't own nor rent. Saves nothing but demands a fancy kitchen without seeing a need to contribute herself.

A grade A sponger.

lawred2

foodie86 wrote: »

I’d easily spend €100 + a week on fresh food for home cooking so it does add up. I would have no problem living like your girlfriend and wouldn’t be mortified. There are plenty of similar women out there!

BUT Your enabling her habits and she does need to cop on herself with the bad credit. Leave her off on the holiday or she’ll get sour with you but sit down and have a chat about where both yere money is going and how it’s going to fund the future.

I developed terrible spending habits because I was enabled but in the long run a serious chat and a trip to the bank immediately after have helped to settle things.

Don’t let it go on as she’ll only keep spending her money mainly on herself!

Mind. Blown.

killbillvol2

lawred2 wrote: »

She doesn't own nor rent. Saves nothing but demands a fancy kitchen without seeing a need to contribute herself.

A grade A sponger.

If I was the OP I'd take the opportunity to change the locks while she was swanning around Rome and leave her stuff in the front garden.

Then I'd head off for a few weeks to somewhere exotic on the strength of the money I wouldn't be spending on the non urgent work.

Paddy Cow

lawred2 wrote: »

She doesn't own nor rent. Saves nothing but demands a fancy kitchen without seeing a need to contribute herself.

A grade A sponger.

What happens if/when they decide to marry? Will the op be expected to pay to give his Princess the special day she deserves?

beauf

[Deleted User] wrote: »

...But my girlfriend has told me she is booking herself a trip to Rome for a few days on her own ...

I think you are missing the bigger picture. There is a lack of commitment and disconnection here that has red flags all over it.