Alcohol ruining my life.

bitofabind

It's not hidden. Your wife knows. She probably doubts herself and doubts you and is in her own personal hell with it.

I know that because I was in her position. Every time I smelled it on him my heart sank. Broken promise after broken promise, empty cans in the skip outside where he thought I wouldn't check, heart sank. Going AWOL for days or lying to me about having had "just a few cans" or trying to justify his drinking using my own odd-glass-of-prosecco habit against me when we both knew he was in denial of a major problem, heartbroken.

Not relevant for this thread perhaps, but alcoholism is absolutely heartbreaking not just for the addict, it's so deeply wounding and painful for their loved ones too. And they always know. It's such a destructive disease.

OP, I'm in no position to advise, only to say that I know many recovered addicts who are living wholesome, meaningful lives that are only enriched by the fact that they've been through the wars with this disease. I have an uncle who lost decades, relationships, friendships, jobs, everything to it who has been living a sober, healthy, happy life for about ten years now. He's wiser and more compassionate than the lot of us put together.

You can get over this. Not in a day, or a week, or a month. Listen to the solid advice from the people on this thread, process it, take out a pen and paper and come up with a plan. Do one thing. Find a local AA. Go for that GP appointment. Whatever. Just start with one thing. The best of luck to you.

JupiterKid

SnrInfant wrote: »

Hi, thank you for your reply. It is an awful, horrible demon taunting me all the time.
I was doing well up to the holiday, I was seeing an addiction counselor and I was happy.
I’ve underlying depression and that’s flared up again which isn’t helping my situation.
My husband is so supportive, if he wasn’t around I don’t think I could do it.

Great to hear that you have that support Snrinfant. I lost the best part of a decade due to alcoholism and it very nearly killed me at my rock bottom. Sober nearly two years now and I have got so much back - my career, my health, my sanity and most importantly my happiness and peace of mind.

We do have a forum here on Boards, it’s the Non-Drinkers Group. Check it out. You’ll find many posters on there with stories like your own and good, non-judgemental advice. The key to me finally turning the corner, after many rehabs and false starts followed by relapses, was going to AA, doing the programme 12 steps with a sponsor.

Changed my life...and saved my life.

SnrInfant

Thank you.
What a great achievement you've made. Well done!
My biggest thing at the moment is dealing with a 'loss'. I genuinely feel like I'm missing something worthwhile from my life. I feel lost without it.

Porklife

SnrInfant wrote: »

Thank you.
What a great achievement you've made. Well done!
My biggest thing at the moment is dealing with a 'loss'. I genuinely feel like I'm missing something worthwhile from my life. I feel lost without it.

May I ask, and obviously feel free not to answer, but when did you last have a drink? I have my own thread in the non drinking forum that Jupiter Kid mentioned above. I actually don't know how to post a link but it was basically a few months ago when I scared myself with the new heights my drinking was taking me to. I had moved into a new apartment having been kicked out of my old apartment for being drunk and disorderly (lost my keys on a night out, stumbled home, rang every buzzer in the building waking everyone up, lovely neighbour lets me in as she has my spare key, I call her every name under the sun for her troubles and slam the door in her face, proceed to blare music then pass out on the couch - Neighbour of the year award goes to me!!).

First night in my new apartment I was drinking on the balcony. I ran out of booze so drank whatever I could find in the apartment. Bear in mind my new flatmate didn't even know me and here I was drinking her booze. Absolute disgrace. I was so desperate frantically running round the apartment as it was past 10 o clock and I needed more. Anyway, that's only one of many incidences and a mild one at that. I've nearly died more than once from booze. I've wound up in hospital a few times, woken up in crazy places including outside and in bars that have long since closed and yet I still didn't/haven't stopped. Where the f*ck is my rock bottom if none of that is?!?!

It's crazy. It's absolute madness. I remember reading the Allen Carr book - how to stop drinking and one part really struck a chord with me. He says - imagine opening the cupboard and seeing a jar that read "if you eat the contents of this jar you will destroy your life, lose all your loved ones, go slowly but steadily insane, lose your job, lose all self respect, loath yourself and either end up in hospital, a mental asylum or prematurely dead"... would you think... mmmm delicious!! I mean, you're hardly gonna spread that on your toast!!

I decided to take a month break, 30 days and I thought if I can't do 30 days then I'm going to rehab. I surprised myself and did 30 days quite easily. I had xanax for the first 5 days which really helped and then I just took it one day at a time. I took up kickboxing and swimming and focused on getting fit and healthy. I started making smoothies and they became my new buzz drink. Once I realised that I could actually stop if I really wanted to, it changed things for me. I still have a huge problem with alcohol obviously but now for example, I haven't drank in a week and I don't plan on drinking this weekend at all. Before I couldn't have done that. Trouble is, I still want to drink, even sitting here right now I'm like.. oohhh all this talk of drinking is making me thirsty!

I guess I'm sharing my story so you realise, we all realise, that we're not alone in this and that it doesn't make us bad people. I also don't believe it's a disease. That just doesn't sit right with me but it's certainly an illness. I think personality comes into it and personal circumstances and life events as well as genetic predisposition. I become addicted to everything I do - sports, chocolate, sex, music, people, food. If 'm doing something then I'm doing it to the max! If I'm having Indian food then I'm having the spiciest thing on the menu. If I'm going swimming then I'm jumping off a cliff into the Atlantic. If I'm into a band then I'll travel the world to see them. If I'm... well you get the jist.

Thinking about everyone who has contributed to this thread and hope we can all support each other.

SnrInfant

I've just typed a really long message and lost it all aarrgghh!!!
Thank you for your insightful post, it rang a few bells with me too.
I honestly believe if I wasn't living with my lovely sensible husband, I'd have gone off the rails much harder and severe. I got away with it for so long as he works nights a lot so we wouldn't see each other a lot of evenings which helped with my hiding it. He genuinely didn't know.
My last drink was two days ago, in work. I knocked back a half a bottle of wine at my desk.
The day before I knocked back gin. For the buzz. Absolute madness.
I'm like you, I have a very addictive personality. I'm addicted to junk food. I can't have one packet of crisps, I'll have four. The same with chocolate. I'm also hooked on solpadeine.
We went on a beautiful family holiday a couple of weeks ago and that set me back totally. There was wine everywhere. I started sneaking the wine again on when I was on my own. I even bought cigarettes (I haven't smoked in 20 years!!)
I'm done now. I have to be. My depression is spiralling out of control with the guilt of starting this again.
Thanks to everyone for posting and I'm sorry OP for hijacking your post.
I wish you all the very best of luck in your struggles. It's good to know we aren't on our own.

DaeryssaOne

Porklife wrote: »

I think personality comes into it and personal circumstances and life events as well as genetic predisposition.

I'm still not finished reading 'This Naked Mind' but she delves into this quite a bit in the book. Basically saying that alcohol is a highly addictive substance and it has nothing to do with genetic predisposition it's simply that we all at one stage or another can wind up addicted to this addictive substance.

This is so you don't look at the homeless guy on the park bench clutching a brown paper bag as somebody who is 'genetically' different to you so therefore you could never end up like that, he just happened to become addicted to the addictive substance earlier than you did.

While I don't 100% agree with every last thing she says in the book, an awful lot of it does ring true for me.
Mostly that it is a fight between our conscious mind (which knows drinking isn't good for us) and our unconscious mind (which has been conditioned for years and years to believe that drinking relaxes us and helps us enjoy ourselves etc when in reality it actually does neither of those things).

In essence the book makes you feel like you have logically figured out why drinking is not good for you. In this way you don' feel as if you're making some massive sacrifice by not drinking but instead you just don't want to because your subconscious has caught up with your conscious mind.

Porklife

DaeryssaOne wrote: »

I'm still not finished reading 'This Naked Mind' but she delves into this quite a bit in the book. Basically saying that alcohol is a highly addictive substance and it has nothing to do with genetic predisposition it's simply that we all at one stage or another can wind up addicted to this addictive substance.

This is so you don't look at the homeless guy on the park bench clutching a brown paper bag as somebody who is 'genetically' different to you so therefore you could never end up like that, he just happened to become addicted to the addictive substance earlier than you did.

While I don't 100% agree with every last thing she says in the book, an awful lot of it does ring true for me.
Mostly that it is a fight between our conscious mind (which knows drinking isn't good for us) and our unconscious mind (which has been conditioned for years and years to believe that drinking relaxes us and helps us enjoy ourselves etc when in reality it actually does neither of those things).

In essence the book makes you feel like you have logically figured out why drinking is not good for you. In this way you don' feel as if you're making some massive sacrifice by not drinking but instead you just don't want to because your subconscious has caught up with your conscious mind.

That's interesting and I actually agree that anybody can get addicted to it as it's an addictive substance. I don't do drugs for example but I'll betcha if I started doing coke or pills i'd end up addicted fairly lively. I also imagine any of my co-workers ending up the same way if they started doing it. I do think however that some people are more likely to become addicted to it for whatever reason.

It's complex and I'm kind of contradicting myself but a family member of mine died from alcohol poisoning and I don't even think she was addicted to it despite her drinking everyday. For her it was about escapism. She was so deeply unhappy with her life that she drank to block it all out and to obliterate herself. It breaks my heart to think about it. She quickly discovered that a sure fire way to become numb and also to fall unconscious was to drink vodka and so she did.

this thread is really interesting and it's given me so much food for thought.

Snrinfant... your posts are really hitting me. Sending you massive virtual hugs!!

SnrInfant

Snrinfant... your posts are really hitting me. Sending you massive virtual hugs!![/QUOTE]

Thank you Porklife, as are yours 😘

SnrInfant

Overitforgood, I hope everything is going well for you?
You have a great support group right here for you xx

Overitforgood

SnrInfant wrote: »

Overitforgood, I hope everything is going well for you?
You have a great support group right here for you xx

Hi there. I haven't been on here in a while.

Things have been going well the past week.
I had an appointment with my doc yesterday and had a good outcome. Spent 2 hours talking to her. She was so lovely and supportive and really there for me. I left feeling a lot more upbeat.

I have requested to go onto Naltrexone (or Selincro, as it is sold here) as I feel this is the best route at the moment given my living situation. I have a friend on this drug and it has been working extremely well. They were like me and they are hardly drinking at all anymore. They just have little or no desire.

I have done research on this drug over the past year and whilst not cheap 120 euro per month, I really hope it will help.
It's expensive but screw it, it's cheaper than the booze.

This is an interesting vid and some article on it for anyone interested:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EghiY_s2ts
https://www.irishexaminer.com/ireland/drugs-on-offer-to-curb-alcohol-abuse-323188.html
https://www.thejournal.ie/drug-addiction-cure-3136384-Jan2017/

I am also have an appointment to speak with the people at St. Pats on Sat. I don't know if residency rehab is necessary or me right now, but I will chat with them and see what they think. I have an initial assessment via the phone on Sat.
I would prefer - due to my work situ that I see them as an out-patient on a weekly basis or such. Again I will see what they advise.

I deffo feel I need to combine therapy with this medication for the hope of changing my relationship with alcohol. I have to get to the root of my unhappiness and try to really get my head sorted and start to live my life differently. I am planning to try out an AA meeting and see how I feel. But I think I will wait until next week and I have started on the medication and spoken with St. Pats.

I would like to see if there is a route for me to not have to give up booze totally, but see if I am able to learn to control it and not the other way round.
I am hoping this medication will help with that and/or at least get me off it for long enough whilst I work from the ground up as to why and where it's all gone haywire. I'm going to take it and see how it goes. Day by day etc.

My excessive drinking has really only taken hold in the past 2 years and only in the last 4 months would I ever drink before 5.

I want to see if I can change my life where I become a social drinker and when I am having a drink with friends, I am happy and content with only having a few.

That's my goal for now, we'll see how I go.

Overitforgood

SnrInfant wrote: »

I've just typed a really long message and lost it all aarrgghh!!!
Thank you for your insightful post, it rang a few bells with me too.
I honestly believe if I wasn't living with my lovely sensible husband, I'd have gone off the rails much harder and severe. I got away with it for so long as he works nights a lot so we wouldn't see each other a lot of evenings which helped with my hiding it. He genuinely didn't know.
My last drink was two days ago, in work. I knocked back a half a bottle of wine at my desk.
The day before I knocked back gin. For the buzz. Absolute madness.
I'm like you, I have a very addictive personality. I'm addicted to junk food. I can't have one packet of crisps, I'll have four. The same with chocolate. I'm also hooked on solpadeine.
We went on a beautiful family holiday a couple of weeks ago and that set me back totally. There was wine everywhere. I started sneaking the wine again on when I was on my own. I even bought cigarettes (I haven't smoked in 20 years!!)
I'm done now. I have to be. My depression is spiralling out of control with the guilt of starting this again.
Thanks to everyone for posting and I'm sorry OP for hijacking your post.
I wish you all the very best of luck in your struggles. It's good to know we aren't on our own.

Very interesting words. Sorry to hear you are going through similar.
Yeah I have to agree, I think a massive part as to why I have become worse is pure loneliness at home.

I have had relationships but I would rarely see them during the week. The last guys I was with drank, but we did so very responsibly. If I stayed with him for a few days over the weekend I would have a few wines with him after 6 and I never smoked.

The second I would get back to my own home, I would revert back to destructive ways. It's like my living situ has become the story of my life. It's like a force which has become so familiar and hum drum that it encourages me to keep repeating the same patterns.

I long for a steady relationship again where I am going to bed in the eves with them and enjoying booze on a normal level with them. I had that for a long time and I miss it dreadfully. My problem is until I sort this booze issue out, that ideal is a long way away, as I keep messing up these relationships/allowing alcohol to control how I deal with issues in my relationships and I end up pushing these people away from me. I approach things totally different sober.

I know however I have to learn to change my destructive ways at home on my own first. I'm not suggesting that I can only change if I have a partner. I want to change myself first so I can live normally with or without someone else.

You are very lucky having your husband around x

ILoveYourVibes

I have no advice i just want to say good luck and keep your self esteem high. You are a good person. You deserve to be happy and healthy.

Overitforgood

Mods, I emailed about this, could this be moved to the non-drinkers forum? Thanks.

SnrInfant

"You are very lucky having your husband around x"

Thank you, I appreciate him so much. He doesn't drink much at all, if any which really helps. I'm not around alcohol on a daily basis.

He went through a spell of working really long hours (He's self employed) and thats when the sneaky drinking would start for me. I'd hide all the bottles so he never knew I drank daily, he thought I had a couple of glasses on a friday and Saturday night.

When he found out the horrible truth, I spilled my guts and told him all so he's watching me like a hawk now! I was really happy and relieved when I first quit. He kept saying how different I was in a really good way. I was so positive too.
I lasted 2 months now I feel myself dragging down again and I feel so guilty for him and my two beautiful children.
He would be devastated to think I was drinking again. He tells me daily how proud he is of me.

Overitforgood

SnrInfant wrote: »

"You are very lucky having your husband around x"

Thank you, I appreciate him so much. He doesn't drink much at all, if any which really helps. I'm not around alcohol on a daily basis.

He went through a spell of working really long hours (He's self employed) and thats when the sneaky drinking would start for me. I'd hide all the bottles so he never knew I drank daily, he thought I had a couple of glasses on a friday and Saturday night.

When he found out the horrible truth, I spilled my guts and told him all so he's watching me like a hawk now! I was really happy and relieved when I first quit. He kept saying how different I was in a really good way. I was so positive too.
I lasted 2 months now I feel myself dragging down again and I feel so guilty for him and my two beautiful children.
He would be devastated to think I was drinking again. He tells me daily how proud he is of me.

I did that too re. hiding bottles. about 2 years ago. My ex found them. When they tell you that in an argument or such, it is so mortifying and shameful. You feel like such a looser.

I would drink before he got home and try to hide it and the empty bottle. You'd forget you put it in the bookcase or such.

He was very mentally abuse to me though so I often drank to deal with my sadness of being stuck with him so it was a vicious circle. So when he would yell at me telling me he found them I was thinking "Yeah and if weren't such a pri*k and angry as F when you drink, maybe I wouldn't need to be hiding bottles". It wasn't his fault I did this though, but it sure didn't help.

SnrInfant

Porklife wrote: »

That's interesting and I actually agree that anybody can get addicted to it as it's an addictive substance. I don't do drugs for example but I'll betcha if I started doing coke or pills i'd end up addicted fairly lively. I also imagine any of my co-workers ending up the same way if they started doing it. I do think however that some people are more likely to become addicted to it for whatever reason.

It's complex and I'm kind of contradicting myself but a family member of mine died from alcohol poisoning and I don't even think she was addicted to it despite her drinking everyday. For her it was about escapism. She was so deeply unhappy with her life that she drank to block it all out and to obliterate herself. It breaks my heart to think about it. She quickly discovered that a sure fire way to become numb and also to fall unconscious was to drink vodka and so she did.

this thread is really interesting and it's given me so much food for thought.

Snrinfant... your posts are really hitting me. Sending you massive virtual hugs!!

Overitforgood wrote: »

I did that too re. hiding bottles. about 2 years ago. My ex found them. When they tell you that in an argument or such, it is so mortifying and shameful. You feel like such a looser.

I would drink before he got home and try to hide it and the empty bottle. You'd forget you put it in the bookcase or such.

He was very mentally abuse to me though so I often drank to deal with my sadness of being stuck with him so it was a vicious circle. So when he would yell at me telling me he found them I was thinking "Yeah and if weren't such a pri*k and angry as F when you drink, maybe I wouldn't need to be hiding bottles". It wasn't his fault I did this though, but it sure didn't help.

That’s so sad to read, how nasty to slap you with it during arguments. It sounds like you’re well rid there.
I could have wrote that post, hiding bottles then emptying them once a week and being mortified by the amount of them!

Bobtheman

booze is a big con game. Its essentially a poisonous addictive drug.We have all been fooled into thinking we need it. We dont. There is a counter argument for every thing a drinker says is positive about it. Nobody should drink-nobody.

The arguments are very well outlined in the Allen Carr book on giving up the booze.

I would not get hung up on rehab-the rates are not successful. Nor AA-rates of success quite low. Try the Allen Carr way and eventually you will just not want to drink and wonder why anybody else does.

However try Allen with Counselling. Id suggest you ask your GP for free services. They do exist.

kerryjack

Bobtheman wrote: »

booze is a big con game. Its essentially a poisonous addictive drug.We have all been fooled into thinking we need it. We dont. There is a counter argument for every thing a drinker says is positive about it. Nobody should drink-nobody.

The arguments are very well outlined in the Allen Carr book on giving up the booze.

I would not get hung up on rehab-the rates are not successful. Nor AA-rates of success quite low. Try the Allen Carr way and eventually you will just not want to drink and wonder why anybody else does.

However try Allen with Counselling. Id suggest you ask your GP for free services. They do exist.

Excellent post and completely agree with you, work hard, exercise loads, cook good food and drink plenty of water stay out of pubs and off licences. Every weekend clime a mountain or jump in a lake, buy a bike and hit the roads. We live in a beautifull country go out and see it.Get rid of any head wrecks or drains in your life, A sober life is a life worth living.

Porklife

kerryjack wrote: »

Excellent post and completely agree with you, work hard, exercise loads, cook good food and drink plenty of water stay out of pubs and off licences. Every weekend clime a mountain or jump in a lake, buy a bike and hit the roads. We live in a beautifull country go out and see it.Get rid of any head wrecks or drains in your life, A sober life is a life worth living.

Nice in theory kerryjack but the problem is that for alot of us it's not possible to simply drink lots of water, jump in lakes and climb mountains. We are addicted to alcohol, it has a very powerful hold over us. If it was as simple as just avoiding pubs and off licences there'd be no alcoholics! You really are trivializing an extremely complex issue.
For the month that I was dry I did jump in lakes and do all that you listed above but you better believe the minute day 30 struck I was high tailing it to the off licence!

kerryjack

Ya pork life it was easy for me to kick it in to touch, all though I have seen enough of it I wanted to be a better dad than my own dad was, break that family tradition and give my kids a better chance than I had. We all have choices to make. I don't know too many happy alcoholics.

Porklife

kerryjack wrote: »

Ya pork life it was easy for me to kick it in to touch, all though I have seen enough of it I wanted to be a better dad than my own dad was, break that family tradition and give my kids a better chance than I had. We all have choices to make. I don't know too many happy alcoholics.

Wise words and very true. It's not possible to be genuinely content and happy while you're under the control of something other than yourself be it alcohol, drugs, a manipulative partner etc.
It's the acknowledgement that you've lost control that really stings. It's the giving in and running out for that second bottle of wine even though you're already half cut. It's the taking the bins out and walking past your neighbour with bottles shamefully clattering. It's the hiding of your wine glass as your flatmate comes into the room and the struggling to act sober.
Sometimes I find it comical and just have to laugh at the absurdity of it. I'm still in disbelief that this liquid can have such a powerful hold on me.
I realised last night that I choose alcohol over everything and everyone in my life. I didn't know that until last night when a guy I really like asked me out but said we shouldn't drink and I declined. I chose booze over a potential relationship. Where will it all end.
Does rock bottom actually exist?!

Bobtheman

Porklife wrote: »

Nice in theory kerryjack but the problem is that for alot of us it's not possible to simply drink lots of water, jump in lakes and climb mountains. We are addicted to alcohol, it has a very powerful hold over us. If it was as simple as just avoiding pubs and off licences there'd be no alcoholics! You really are trivializing an extremely complex issue.
For the month that I was dry I did jump in lakes and do all that you listed above but you better believe the minute day 30 struck I was high tailing it to the off licence!

I think the addiction is more Psychological than anything. Not physical. Mental. But if you read the Allen Carr book or Annie Grace book youd realise that there is nothing to miss with booze. It is a con game. People-including myself have used it as a crutch but taking booze is like giving yourself a headache so you can take panadol.
That being said its not just a case of reading the books its more complex than that but by seeing booze for what it is-a poison that we feel relieved when taking because it ends the physical withdrawal symptoms(hair of the dog) but the booze itself does nothing positive. Its the ending of the withdrawal that makes you temp feel good but then you feel **** the next day.

Booze is a chicken and egg game-you take it to relieve stress but then it creates stress when you stop taking it-so what do you do? Take it again. We are surrounded by a society who thinks this crap makes sense. Pretty much like cigarettes in the 1960s and eventually people woke up.

Porklife

Bobtheman wrote: »

I think the addiction is more Psychological than anything. Not physical. Mental. But if you read the Allen Carr book or Annie Grace book youd realise that there is nothing to miss with booze. It is a con game. People-including myself have used it as a crutch but taking booze is like giving yourself a headache so you can take panadol.
That being said its not just a case of reading the books its more complex than that but by seeing booze for what it is-a poison that we feel relieved when taking because it ends the physical withdrawal symptoms(hair of the dog) but the booze itself does nothing positive. Its the ending of the withdrawal that makes you temp feel good but then you feel **** the next day.

Booze is a chicken and egg game-you take it to relieve stress but then it creates stress when you stop taking it-so what do you do? Take it again. We are surrounded by a society who thinks this crap makes sense. Pretty much like cigarettes in the 1960s and eventually people woke up.

I have read the Allen Carr book and it's very powerful, hasn't stopped me though but that's because I'm not ready to stop yet. I still have a fondness for booze even though I know it's killing me and is ruining so many good things in my life.
It's crazy. No matter how many times I feel awful from booze and full of dread and anxiety, I still go back to it. I think drinking when you don't actually want to drink is a really bad sign. I've broken every rule I've made for myself - no booze Monday to Wednesday.... no wine - just beer..... no drinking alone.... no drinking at home, only in the pub....no drinking on an empty stomach. I have broken every last one of those rules. My appetite these days is shot to bits too. I have no body fat at all really. I just wish I wanted to stop and I don't understand why I don't.

SnrInfant

I'm the very same Porklife, I don't even enjoy it
I think I even gave myself an ulcer at one stage, the cramps in my stomach were unbearable. I still kept going though. It was my 'best friend'.
I read Alan Carr too and a few other really good books and they work for a while.
I can't seem to get past the 2 month mark.
Best of luck, you will get there. You've done it before

Bobtheman

Porklife wrote: »

I have read the Allen Carr book and it's very powerful, hasn't stopped me though but that's because I'm not ready to stop yet. I still have a fondness for booze even though I know it's killing me and is ruining so many good things in my life.
It's crazy. No matter how many times I feel awful from booze and full of dread and anxiety, I still go back to it. I think drinking when you don't actually want to drink is a really bad sign. I've broken every rule I've made for myself - no booze Monday to Wednesday.... no wine - just beer..... no drinking alone.... no drinking at home, only in the pub....no drinking on an empty stomach. I have broken every last one of those rules. My appetite these days is shot to bits too. I have no body fat at all really. I just wish I wanted to stop and I don't understand why I don't.

I think its best to try a long term abstinence-cutting down doesnt really work. That why you are not constantly making decisions.
You got to name the fondness-write it out in detail. expand on it
Id try Annie graces book-its more detailed and more up to date
Bottom line is your subconscious has not caught up with your consciousness. You know booze doesnt suiit you but got to drag out and expand exactly why you are still drinking. A lot of it is auto pilot stuff-you feel good when you drink simply because its ended the effects of withdrawal from booze.

Bobtheman

SnrInfant wrote: »

I'm the very same Porklife, I don't even enjoy it
I think I even gave myself an ulcer at one stage, the cramps in my stomach were unbearable. I still kept going thougTwh. It was my 'best friend'.
I read Alan Carr too and a few other really good books and they work for a while.
I can't seem to get past the 2 month mark.
Best of luck, you will get there. You've done it before

#Two months is not bad. Look up naltrexone and babylon 5 actress. Funny combination but youtube the actress ted talk. It worked for her

SnrInfant

Bobtheman wrote: »

#Two months is not bad. Look up naltrexone and babylon 5 actress. Funny combination but youtube the actress ted talk. It worked for her

I saw it, she was amazing 😳
I've asked my doctor for naltrexone but she said it will interfere with my other medication. I can cut those down slowly but it will take time.
I can't wait to start it.