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Are my grandparents being too relaxed about this situation?

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    #62
    chris525
    Closed Accounts Posts: 214 ✭✭chris525


    qwerty13 wrote: »
    Just because you ‘can’t imagine’ reacting a certain way doesn’t make your grandparents wrong or bad.

    Maybe they’ve always helped your father with house renovations. Maybe he helped them out on something else. It’s quite the leap to ‘appeasement’. And none of your business.

    They know their son and obviously have a relationship with him. They don’t know you. And yet you want them to upend a relationship with their son, because that’s what you’d do in their shoes. This is just so unreasonable on your part. And not going to happen. Again, you need to dial down your demands.

    Well, their son has never done anything for me. He didn't even pay child maintenance and now he gets all this stuff and help and I got nothing all these years.


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    #63
    qwerty13
    Registered Users Posts: 1,272 ✭✭✭qwerty13


    I know your childhood was crap. But you can decide to wallow / be angry at the past, or try to move on.

    You are currently stuck in the wallowing / anger phase. You’re just hurting yourself, and also probably your partner and kids. You can chose to stay there, or get help to move out of that phase.

    I don’t think anyone on this thread said that you’re wrong to feel anger or resentment. But your method of dealing with it (or completely not dealing with it) is wrong for your own mental health, and relationships in your adult life.

    You need to move on not only for yourself, but also for your adult relationships in your life. The obsessing about your past is achieving nothing.


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    #64
    lunamoon
    Registered Users Posts: 263 ✭✭lunamoon


    chris525 wrote: »
    Well, their son has never done anything for me. He didn't even pay child maintenance and now he gets all this stuff and help and I got nothing all these years.

    He is their son. I find it baffling that you can't understand this when you have children of your own.

    If you found out your son fathered a child would you disown him?


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    #65
    chris525
    Closed Accounts Posts: 214 ✭✭chris525


    lunamoon wrote: »
    He is their son. I find it baffling that you can't understand this when you have children of your own.

    If you found out your son fathered a child would you disown him?

    I don't know but I would not be happy with him and I would not be painting his house for a long time.

    I should hope that my son will not turn out so horribly. I won't be letting him away with anything.


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    #66
    Ursus Horribilis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭Ursus Horribilis


    What would your son say about you having a crush on a coworker?


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    #67
    woodchuck
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,409 Mod ✭✭✭✭woodchuck


    Mod note:

    The OP has receive a lot of advice over 5 pages and I feel this thread has run its course. Therefore I'll close this thread at this time.


This discussion has been closed.
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