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  • #32
    wiggle16
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 3,022 Mod ✭✭✭✭wiggle16


    Another day wrote: »
    I'll ask again is he aggressive or violent with his children? If not then please find a compromise.

    And just for the record, I am from a violent family background and was never withheld from my father. I also know of cases where the father has done nothing wrong but tarred by lies and untruths hence my questions re you witnessing said behaviour.

    Separation is never easy but it can be made easier by communication. If you block the father then he has every right to be angry, just as you would be if it happened to you.

    With all respect, I think there is a lot of projection going on for a couple of posters. The OP obviously believes the woman and her kids are in danger or at risk. It is not up to the OP to find a compromise between them. They are adults.

    The father's anger is not the OP's problem.
    AulWan wrote: »
    Are you a doctor or a mental health professional who is qualified to assess him and make those kind of decisions?

    The OP doesn't need to be. He's taken someone into his home who is clearly in a bad situation. There is another person who the OP does not want to allow into his home. The OP is under no obligation to facilitate the man seeing his children or resolve the issues between the couple as parents. If the mother has taken the children illegally from their father then it's up to him to take the steps to resolve that, no one else can do it for him.

    The OP has done absolutely nothing wrong. It is their choice who can set foot in their house, end of. It's not up to them to mediate between two parents. If you shelter someone you do not become responsible for their interactions with other people.

    OP I would speak to the Gardaí again to get clarification of your position here and what exactly will happen if he comes to your door. The mother should be exploring getting a barring order if this is necessary - she may be in a difficult situation but she also has a responsibility for making sure that you are not being put at risk for sheltering her.

    I would also discuss with her what her next move is going to be with regards a living situation. It's not an easy conversation to have when someone has nowhere else to go and it sounds unsympathetic, but she cannot stay with you long term under these conditions. She needs to get her ducks in a row.


  • #33
    Another day
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 146 ✭✭Another day


    The OP is involved whether he likes it or not. Yes he has the right to deny access to anyone he doesn't want in his home, absolutely 100%. However, as the unwanted caller is the father of children residing in the house and he cannot see them there then yes compromise is required to facilitate that wish. If the in law residing there cannot deal with her ex then someone has to step up.


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