Where on your body is the best place to shoot yourself?

Rezident

Say if you wanted to give the impression to the authorities when they arrive that you were wounded at the scene of a very exciting shootout, where on your body would you shoot yourself?


I was thinking maybe a grazing shot to my forearm?

Danzy

Rezident wrote: »

Say if you wanted to give the impression to the authorities when they arrive that you were wounded at the scene of a very exciting shootout, where on your body would you shoot yourself?


I was thinking maybe a grazing shot to my forearm?

Knob.

branie2

The knee

Dravokivich

I think the real question op is, who are you trying to set up with attempting to murder you and why?

hynesie08

branie2 wrote: »

The knee

**** no, you'd never walk properly again......

Forearm or thigh (if you can avoid the bone)

odyssey06

I know the answer to this one.

The best place to shoot yourself is nowhere.
You are supposed to shoot the other guy.

fmpisces

Dravokivich wrote: »

I think the real question op is, who are you trying to set up with attempting to murder you and why?

OP is asking for a "friend"

How Soon Is Now

I love really random wtf threads like this!!

kneemos

Rezident wrote: »

Say if you wanted to give the impression to the authorities when they arrive that you were wounded at the scene of a very exciting shootout, where on your body would you shoot yourself?


I was thinking maybe a grazing shot to my forearm?

Would it leave gunpowder marks at close range?

Realtai

Between the eyes, you are sure of being dead then!

In the arse hole. There's a hole there already so won't hurt.

Arghus

The dick.

Can't go wrong OP.

Oasis1974

The arm nice juicy vein.

odyssey06

I think there are tests and they can tell if you have fired a weapon.

I have watched too many crime dramas on TV.

Oink

Screw that I’ll shoot the door and complain that I got some splinters.

Force Carrier

thigh (if you can avoid the bone)

You'd want to avoid the femural artery as well.

Dravokivich

odyssey06 wrote: »

I think there are tests and they can tell if you have fired a weapon.

I have watched too many crime dramas on TV.

There'll be residue on your hand and clothes from holding it, and if shot at close range, on the wound.

So a contraption of some sort would be needed to hold the gun and shoot.

khalessi

I would presume the foot as people are always shooting themselves in the foot

robertpatterson

Your head
you wont feel a thing

Noveight

In your big, fat arse, OP. Can’t miss it, fecking size of you.

RMAOK

Just for the sake of variety - the elbow

Odyssey 2005

Realtai wrote: »

Between the eyes, you are sure of being dead then!

And not posting any more shyte like this

odyssey06

khalessi wrote: »

I would presume the foot as people are always shooting themselves in the foot

Thats what they used to do in ww1 to get sent home... but it was so obvious a spot you shoot yourself in they copped onto it.

Archeron

Earlobe. You can live with one earlobe.

DellyBelly

Deleted User wrote: »

In the arse hole. There's a hole there already so won't hurt.

I really hope you are not being serious. That would be one of the worst places to shoot yourself... Some posters are clueless

odyssey06

How are you going to aim a shot accurate enough to graze you without it being fired from such close range and angle that it could remotely look like you were wounded in a shootout by someone else?

JeffKenna

DellyBelly wrote: »

Deleted User wrote: »

In the arse hole. There's a hole there already so won't hurt.

I really hope you are not being serious. That would be one of the worst places to shoot yourself... Some posters are clueless

I'd say he is being serious, sur logically if you shoot in a hole it can't hurt as you're not making a new hole?

Immortal Starlight

You are going to have to curve the shot.

DellyBelly

JeffKenna wrote: »

I'd say he is being serious, sur logically if you shoot in a hole it can't hurt as you're not making a new hole?

What about your internal organs. You'd be dead in minutes. As I said clueless

Your Face

The fleshy part of the thigh, just don't ask Bobby Baccalieri to do it for you.

JeffKenna

DellyBelly wrote: »

JeffKenna wrote: »

I'd say he is being serious, sur logically if you shoot in a hole it can't hurt as you're not making a new hole?

What about your internal organs. You'd be dead in minutes. As I said clueless

The bullet wouldn't touch any internal organs.
The perfect plan.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Probably the buttocks, given that it's the largest muscle and suitable far away fro anything essential (if you get the angle right)

73bc61lyohr0mu

branie2 wrote: »

The knee

Just as bad as getting an arrow there...

dermiek

just read the whole thread. Now I want to shoot myself as well :pac: :pac:

This is it

Dravokivich wrote: »

There'll be residue on your hand and clothes from holding it, and if shot at close range, on the wound.

So a contraption of some sort would be needed to hold the gun and shoot.

Shooter the movie?

ILoveYourVibes

Your butt cheek.

I would go for a Forrest Gump injury and shoot myself in the buttock.




ETA: Ooh, snap.

gmisk

The hair? Does that count? That wouldn't do much damage

kowloon

Candie wrote: »

I would go for a Forrest Gump injury and shoot myself in the buttock.

.
He goht shoht in the buttohks

Shoot off a finger or something. You could claim it was close range and you put up your hand to push the gun away/protect yourself. That would explain the angle and the powder burns.

decky1

could i shoot my wife and say the window was open and the bullet came in and hit her twice in the head?

He goht shoht in the buttohks

Shoot off a finger or something. You could claim it was close range and you put up your hand to push the gun away/protect yourself. That would explain the angle and the powder burns.

Plus you get to say you gave your shooter the finger.

osarusan

Police might get suspicious of a grazing injury, so if you really want to trick the police into thinking there is no way you inflicted the shot on yourself, then through the brain it is.

They won't even question you about it!

recedite

Big toe.

I put a garden fork through mine once, and I hardly felt it, but there was a lot of blood. You'll want to go off-centre, to miss the bone. 9mm or .22 calibre only. It'll heal up in a week or two.
Don't use a shotgun or you'll never see your toe again.

DellyBelly

DellyBelly wrote: »

I really hope you are not being serious. That would be one of the worst places to shoot yourself... Some posters are clueless

Sorry, meant to say ear hole. Trying to make it painless as possible for the OP.

Victor

hynesie08 wrote: »

**** no, you'd never walk properly again......

Forearm or thigh (if you can avoid the bone)

And the femoral artery https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Femoral_artery

kowloon

recedite wrote: »

Big toe.

I put a garden fork through mine once, and I hardly felt it, but there was a lot of blood. You'll want to go off-centre, to miss the bone. 9mm or .22 calibre only. It'll heal up in a week or two.
Don't use a shotgun or you'll never see your toe again.

archer22

Think outside the box op....just get a large hat, blast it with a shotgun from ten metres and then stick it on your head.

Oh and rough cut a few lumps of hair off your head before putting it on...looks more convincing when you take it off and shows what a close shave you had.

Abba987

Ta fxxk

Baron Kurtz

Your Face wrote: »

The fleshy part of the thigh, just don't ask Bobby Baccalieri to do it for you.

I'm a Marksman!

ToddyDoody

Rezident wrote: »

Say if you wanted to give the impression to the authorities when they arrive that you were wounded at the scene of a very exciting shootout, where on your body would you shoot yourself?


I was thinking maybe a grazing shot to my forearm?

I'd say the posterior for hillarity.