Biggest lie you've heard about yourself

Moomoomacshoe

Probably not a very exciting thread but lieing here ..i mean lying here completely gobsmacked at the extent of a lie some people can tell.

For example, today I discovered that apparently I threw a dish at someone's head??? If only they saw my real life throwing skills..a thrower I am not!

Another..a while back appparrrrrrrently I trashed another person's belongings in an ocean 11 style entrance to their handbag. I mean what the holy fricken hell. Do these people actually believe their shttyy pie hole lies?

Gobsmacked doesn't cover how I feel..my nana would say I'm shook. Will seriously take me a good while to have faith in humanity again. Rising above it of course, may they be facedown in poop for evermore the bstrd faces! Oh...And may I choose better acquantices that are not psychotic, sociopathic, shtiopatic, and lieopathic in nature.

What's the biggest lie someone has said about you?

Leg End Reject

I'd imagine they're said behind my back so I don't know tbh.

Reisers

I want to be a part of it






Frank Sinatra said that to me once at a concert

Charlie19

Someone once said I was c**t for reading too much into things, which is a total lie because generally I just read the thread title and maybe the first couple of lines of the OP.

Sharp MZ700

Charlie19 wrote: »

Someone once said I was c**t for reading too much into things, which is a total lie because generally I just read the thread title and maybe the first couple of lines of the OP.

You've just opened yourself up to being called a woeful bejaysuswhatnot for the rest of the thread.

Moomoomacshoe

Charlie19 wrote: »

Someone once said I was c**t for reading too much into things, which is a total lie because generally I just read the thread title and maybe the first couple of lines of the OP.

That's a LIE! ...Too hard to believe they called you a cart.

ToddyDoody

Someone said I was a people person - and I am. I just generally don't want people near me. A people person at a distance, if you will. Is that really being a people person though?

KathleenGrant

About 15 years ago now someone said I had sex with a co-worker in my office Never happened...............










I just gave him a blow job.

This is it

Why would you throw a dish at someone's head? Sounds pretty unhinged.

Reisers

KathleenGrant wrote: »

About 15 years ago now someone said I had sex with a co-worker in my office Never happened...............










I just gave him a blow job.

Liar I was there

Reisers

This is it wrote: »

Why would you throw a dish at someone's head? Sounds pretty unhinged.

Bit disheveled

Reisers

Someone said I'd only a 4 inch cock

Moomoomacshoe

This is it wrote: »

Why would you throw a dish at someone's head? Sounds pretty unhinged.

Ha..even worse how could they make it up. If they were a door they'd be unhinged... If they were a wardrobe theyd have a screw loose, if they were a hammer theyd be an awful tool, if they were an egg theyd be a right yoke, if they were a..ok will stop now!

For clarity in case I wasnt clear I do solemnly declare I did not throw any dish at anyone at any time ever in my lifetime ....but I probably would if I saw the liar faced btch again.

Several which I wouldn't care to rate. More importantly, I didn't take any of them to heart.

Skylinehead

That I was a communist. I may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but I am not a porn star!

Moomoomacshoe

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Several which I wouldn't care to rate. More importantly, I didn't take any of them to heart.

Must toughen up..you're dead right Bertie!!

sligojoek

Apparently, I'm supposed to have said, "The sooner they start back to school, the better."

Skihunta13

sligojoek wrote: »

Apparently, I'm supposed to have said, "The sooner they start back to school, the better."

Its the place for the little ......... children

Your Face

Loads of lies by two lads I used to be friends with.
It was ridiculous stuff.
Had to cut them off, I couldn't be associated with that.

frag420

This is it wrote: »

Why would you throw a dish at someone's head? Sounds pretty unhinged.

That was the door he threw..

frag420

Reisers wrote: »

Someone said I'd only a 4 inch cock

By how much did they exaggerate?

Deebles McBeebles

Someone once said they loved me.....f*ckin knew it was a lie.

KathleenGrant

Reisers wrote: »

Liar I was there

Well if you were there I know who you are........

D3V!L

The greatest lie I've heard is that I didn't exist !! :rolleyes:

D3V!L

frag420 wrote: »

By how much did they exaggerate?

2 inches I'd say :pac:

TomSweeney

OP why the hell did you throw a dish at someones head ? ?

JohnCleary

That I'm stinking rich. Such lies.


I do not stink.

Feisar

That I'm a slut, yes I've had my share but I don't think as much as some people thought.

That I was gay. Not bothered however the opposite was/is true.

Was out for coffee in a pub once, my female friend came back from the toilet to tell me there was a litany of stuff about me in there! Who writes on toilet walls apart from bored builders?

banie01

I was being fairly aggressively stalked at point a few years ago.
It got fairly serious tbh.

But as a 6'5" burly male, being "stalked" by in all honesty a very attractive blonde wasn't really seen as much of a "problem"!
By all my male friends, and the vast majority of the Gardaí until I got talking to a female member.

Anyways, at one point an elderly neighbour of mine called over to congratulate my on my engagement...
I was a bit surprised as I was very single at the time.
Turns out the stalker had befriended said neighbour and convinced her she was my GF!!

There has been lots of other stuff said about me, mostly by family members and mostly that I think I'm better than them, or that I'm a prick....
But unfortunately most of that is valid and true :P :pac:

Feisar

banie01 wrote: »

I was being fairly aggressively stalked at point a few years ago.
It got fairly serious tbh.

But as a 6'5" burly male, being "stalked" by in all honesty a very attractive blonde wasn't really seen as much of a "problem"!
By all my male friends, and the vast majority of the Gardaí until I got talking to a female member.

Anyways, at one point an elderly neighbour of mine called over to congratulate my on my engagement...
I was a bit surprised as I was very single at the time.
Turns out the stalker had befriended said neighbour and convinced her she was my GF!!

There has been lots of other stuff said about me, mostly by family members and mostly that I think I'm better than them, or that I'm a prick....
But unfortunately most of that is valid and true :P :pac:

See the slut part of me would have kicked in and I'd have broken rule number one and stuck my penis in crazy.

banie01

Feisar wrote: »

See the slut part of me would have kicked in and I'd have broken rule number one and stuck my penis in crazy.

Oh I've stuck my dick in my fair share of crazy and even married it

But...
This girl just set every alarm I had jangling!

How Soon Is Now

I was out sick for two days in secondary school everyone was going around saying I got deported.

One lad actually came up to me when i got back one hundred percent serious "I always taught you where from Mexico!?"

This was before Irish schools where full of all kinds of nationalitys and I was one the very few who had a foreign surname and didn't look stereotype Irish haha!

Moomoomacshoe

TomSweeney wrote: »

OP why the hell did you throw a dish at someones head ? ?

Was obviously feeling a bit DISHevelled that day heheh

MetzgerMeister

An ex of mine who was somewhat psychotic spread lies that I broke up with her because I was gay apparently. So out of touch with her own behaviour and so afraid to understand the real reason why, came up with this rubbish.

I actually signed my school report 'Dad' as his signature one time. It did require parents signature at the time.

I threw chairs with metal frames against each other, with other pupils for fun.


What's true is that that fee paying school was a waste of time and I got a shy+e leaving cert out of it. I'll accept responsibility for that.

No school reunions though. No contact with any school pupils whatsoever now!

Just as serious:
10 years later as a mature student In third level another student masqueraded as me in emailing emails of a serious nature to another student.
He got away with it, and got merit in his diploma at least.: I was broke and could not afford any legal advice. 2000.

chuck eastwood

When i was 8 (1988) I broke some bones in my foot jumping off a sandbank so I was six weeks late going back to school. When I eventually got back in I was greeted with looks of shock and amazement. That and no one would come within ten feet of me.
Turns out one if my wanker Class mates told everyonr I had Aids and was either dead by now or highly contagious. Back then you could catch Aids from knowing someone's name. 8 year olds can't be right little twats

CrankyHaus

MetzgerMeister wrote: »

An ex of mine who was somewhat psychotic spread lies that I broke up with her because I was gay apparently. So out of touch with her own behaviour and so afraid to understand the real reason why, came up with this rubbish.

Had exactly the same thing happen to me. Thought it was kind of gas to be honest, especially imagining some of our mutual friends believing it.

Badly Drunk Boy

**Disclaimer: I'm assuming this is a lie.**

I've been told that I started a huge mud-fight at the last Witnness in 2003 in Punchestown (what became Oxygen). I remember there were a few freak rain-showers that year, and the place turned to mud really quickly and stayed fairly muddy, even when the sun started splitting the trees. There were also loads of people covered head-to-toe in mud.

A colleague in work told me a few weeks later (in the company of others) that I had picked up a handful of mud, flung it into a crowd of people, where it hit one lad on the side of the head. He picked up a handful to throw in retaliation, saw the size of me, and decided to fling it elsewhere instead. Then everybody else joined in...

The thing is...this colleague of mine is notorious for exaggerating stories, and even though I had met him there and the mud was plentiful, that just wouldn't be my style (even when drunk). I do remember pretending to push over one of the women in the group into the mud, but I didn't actually do it.

16 years later and he still mentions it every now and then (and always with an audience), but...IT DIDN'T HAPPEN, RIGHT?!?!

biko

That I have the second biggest willy in Ireland








it's the fourth biggest

freshpopcorn

That I got very drunk and smashed a windscreen in a Garda car and got arrested!

biko

biko wrote: »

That I have the second biggest willy in Ireland








it's the fourth biggest

And its on your head

Church on Tuesday

That I lived in the 'haunted house' while I was in Secondary.

Sorry to disappoint folks, it was the next house over.

Blitzkrieger

That I'm a millionaire.

There's so many clues that I'm not.....

jammiedodgers

Someone once said I was c**t for reading too much into things, which is a total lie because generally I just read the thread title and maybe the first couple of lines of the OP.

everlast75

KathleenGrant wrote: »

About 15 years ago now someone said I had sex with a co-worker in my office Never happened...............










I just gave him a blow job.

Monica, is that you?

the beer revolu

Common enough theme, that I was gay. Came from me, apparently. Wasn't really bothered but I was sort of weirded out that this guy was going around telling people that I told him that I was gay. Why?

Robsweezie

that i used to strum my willy like a guitar when i was in the bath

Your Face

Robsweezie wrote: »

that i used to strum my willy like a guitar when i was in the bath

And thusly country music legend Willie Nelson was born

ILoveYourVibes

Moomoomacshoe wrote: »

Probably not a very exciting thread but lieing here ..i mean lying here completely gobsmacked at the extent of a lie some people can tell.

For example, today I discovered that apparently I threw a dish at someone's head??? If only they saw my real life throwing skills..a thrower I am not!

Another..a while back appparrrrrrrently I trashed another person's belongings in an ocean 11 style entrance to their handbag. I mean what the holy fricken hell. Do these people actually believe their shttyy pie hole lies?

Gobsmacked doesn't cover how I feel..my nana would say I'm shook. Will seriously take me a good while to have faith in humanity again. Rising above it of course, may they be facedown in poop for evermore the bstrd faces! Oh...And may I choose better acquantices that are not psychotic, sociopathic, shtiopatic, and lieopathic in nature.

What's the biggest lie someone has said about you?

That i was pregnant with my exes kid. (my ex started that lovely rumor)

Truth is I have never been pregnant. It was a really horrible one though.



That I was anorexic.

That someone else painted my artwork.