How can I encourage my toddler to stay in his bed?

scarepanda

To be completely honest, while it's horrible, I'd let him tantrum all he wants as long as you know he's safe. By him throwing a tantrum, and you going back in he knows your limits and how far he needs to push you to get what he wants. If you let him tantrum its consequences are 2 fold, 1) he'll tire himself out and most importantly 2) he'll learn that throwing a tantrum won't get what he wants and it'll get old quickly for him.

Also, you need to give it more than a week for things to work, or at least we did anyhow. I think it is took us roughly 3 months to get our toddler on a good routine where she didn't resist actually getting into bed awake. We just stuck to the plan and one night she asked to go to bed after story and song time and for the most part we've never looked back. Now, during those 3 months there were good times and not so good times, but it took that length of time before she got reliable going to bed and staying in bed. It's the same for staying in bed at night. Take turns but keep to the same plan, and don't interact with him when ye are putting him back to his own bed, tantrum or not. If he kicks off wait till he's asleep before going back in and putting his blanket back on.

I think at that age there's no quick solution, aside from giving them exactly what they want, which isn't fair on you or your wife if ye have no down time.

Also, what time is he up at in the morning? Is he in daycare? How do they work naps in there? I'm a stay at home mam, so my kids are able to self regulate naps.I wasted manys the day trying to get my eldest to nap the recommended amount during the day to no avail, so i adopted the approach that she would sleep when she needed it and it worked out fine for us. She goes to bed around 9 and is up and awake around 7/8, she's nearly 3 and has been like this a good while. She'll nap during the day if and when she needs it. Maybe it would be easier all round if ye pushed bedtime a little later?

chases0102

Thanks a million for that Scarepanda.

He is in childcare 3 days a week. Childminder puts him down for his nap at approx 1pm.

I personally would be happy to let him tantrum, as what you say is true. However, because he is in a bed, and can work the door (nothing stopping him from leaving his room) he just leaves the room and either plays in the landing or tries to come downstairs.

scarepanda

chases0102 wrote:

I personally would be happy to let him tantrum, as what you say is true. However, because he is in a bed, and can work the door (nothing stopping him from leaving his room) he just leaves the room and either plays in the landing or tries to come downstairs.

Keep an ear out for him and as soon as you hear him out of the room put him back in the room/on his bed and walk away, don't interact with him. We had a baby gate on the door that wasn't tightened properly and a slight push would open it (we live in a bungalow so stairs aren't a problem), but the click of it opening was our cue to go up to her. We'd meet half way down the hall, pick her up or she'd turn and skaddadle, put her on the bed and walk out. She used to try everything with me. If she wanted me to look at her she'd try grab my face and turn it to hers while she'd also be contorting her body to be able to see into my eyes and repeatedly say mama mama mama.... Heart breaking and funny at the same time! They are determined little buggers for their age!

shesty

I am in the persevere side of things too.
Now I am posting at the end of a long day at home with 5, 3 and 1 year olds and the various levels of tantrum I have been dealing with.If you want him to stick with his bedtime in his bed, then you need to stick with it.

Coz it's a way worse argument when he is 3/4/5 and can answer back!!!That last time poem is lovely.But equally a bit of me feels thatwe all need something to keep our sanity as a parent and for some people, having them asleep early in their own beds is that thing (it is mime).So persevere if it's what you want.They are determined!