How often do you see your parents?

The Young Wan

Those of you with parents who are still with us, how often do you see them?

jcorr

The Young Wan wrote: »

Those of you with parents who are still with us, how often do you see them?

Once every two months.

I used to leave Dublin every weekend to go home. But it's getting harder and harder as I get older.

Bellerstring

The Young Wan wrote: »

Those of you with parents who are still with us, how often do you see them?

Why....?

Necro

The Young Wan wrote:

Those of you with parents who are still with us, how often do you see them?

Pretty much every day more or less. Only one of the siblings who still lives in the locale which is hard for them at times as we'd all be relatively close

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

The Young Wan wrote: »

Those of you with parents who are still with us, how often do you see them?

What about yourself?


It doesn't apply to me, as mine are long dead, but tell us your own situation.

pc7

Every week, usually wend so they can see grandkids.

_Kaiser_

Both of mine are dead now but even when alive I only saw my mother every few months for the most part (although a fair bit more towards the end). My dad wasn't part of things for most of my life anyway.

It's great that many are close to their parents, but I find in this country it can often mean that they never really leave home and make a life for themselves either.

wakka12

Id hope to see my parents at least once a week after I move out

Franz Von Peppercorn II

Once every two to three weeks as they have moved down the country. Every week when they were in Dublin, and I was here too.

Once a month or two when I lived in the UK. Once a year when I was in the US in my twenties.

The Young Wan

Aarav Thankful Body wrote: »

What about yourself?


It doesn't apply to me, as mine are long dead, but tell us your own situation.

I live abroad, so very infrequently. About once every three months if I'm lucky.

My partner, we see his every weekend.

abff

My parents are long dead, but when they were around and our kids were young, we'd call to see them pretty much every Saturday. But our parents lived within 5 miles of us, so it wasn't that much of a trek to go there. And the kids loved their grandparents, so they looked forward to the visits.

I think regular contact is important. But Skype and other technology based communication makes it easier to keep in touch, even if travelling time is an issue.

The Young Wan

Bellerstring wrote: »

Why....?

The wealth of mindless wonderings that this forum gets, and this is the one you take offence at?

PsychoPete

Probably around 4 or 5 times a week, normally to if they need anything or need any jobs done also the garage I built and a few of the cars are there

Cee-Jay-Cee

2 or 3 times a week sometimes more sometimes less.

My dad died 19 yrs ago and my mum lives about 10km from me so pretty close. She’s 78 but young for her age and very active, she’s always off in her wee car doing stuff or visiting people.

Twenty Grand

Once every month or 6 weeks.

We have a fantastic relationship with a bit of distance between us

Be right back

Usually twice a week!

Necro

_Kaiser_ wrote:

It's great that many are close to their parents, but I find in this country it can often mean that they never really leave home and make a life for themselves either.

Some cases yes. Myself I went off to Australia and did my travelling young, was lucky enough to meet my wife there and we came back and settled at home.

She loves it, I'm happy, the kids are happy and the parents are delighted they get to see the grandkids so often so it all worked out for the best in our situation

branie2

A lot, as I live at home with them

_Kaiser_

At least 5 days a week and often every day.

_Kaiser_ wrote: »

It's great that many are close to their parents, but I find in this country it can often mean that they never really leave home and make a life for themselves either.

Not sure I’d agree with that but even if so what’s wrong with it*? I couldn't imagine not being very close to my parents (being very lucky to have them both of course).

*as in how you see it as having an ill effect on their enjoyment of life?

The Bishop Basher

I try and drop in about once a week..

The older they get the more conscious I am about spending time with them..

messrs

I used to only go home once a month or so but as my parents get older i fear that there may not be much time left so now i go home every weekend. Im the only one out of my siblings that lives away so i have that self made guilt that Im not there enough

bop1977

Every fu cking day.


But then I live on the same street as them.

Toots

3 or 4 times a week. They live really close by, so we call in every Sunday for a couple of hours, and then I’d usually pop in a couple of weekday afternoons on the way back from the school run.

Blaizes

Once a fortnight at least ( they don’t live in the same town but we always make the effort to meet up) Love my parents to bits and as I get older realize how lucky I am have to have them and how good they have been to me.

Gimme A Pound

I live less than half an hour's drive from them so my mother calls most Saturdays and I call to her and my dad during the week. I call the odd Saturday or Sunday too for family gatherings.

I think it's important to see them regularly enough when they're getting old but leading your own life too, as some people I know spend massive amounts of time with them (one still lives with her mother, the other stays a few nights a week with his parents) - what will they do when they're gone?

L1011

They live 600m away. Goes from 2 days to maybe 2 months. I've lived abroad before, they aren't in any way reliant on me for support or vice versa so sometimes it is many weeks. My dad still uses messenger applications so I'd talk to him quite frequently on those

One eyed Jack

_Kaiser_ wrote: »

It's great that many are close to their parents, but I find in this country it can often mean that they never really leave home and make a life for themselves either.

I get what you mean, but I think that applies in any country really where the cost of living let alone the idea of owning their own property is an unrealistic pipe dream for some, and something they just don’t want for others. In some countries three generations living in the one household wouldn’t be uncommon.

Multigenerational, that’s the word I was looking for -

https://www.aarp.org/home-family/friends-family/info-04-2013/three-generations-household-american-family.html

As for how often I would spend time with my own parents? As little as possible frankly, funerals and weddings, and in recent years it’s been more funerals than weddings. I wouldn’t quite put the ratio at four funerals and a wedding, but it’s there or thereabouts!

Gimme A Pound

messrs wrote: »

I used to only go home once a month or so but as my parents get older i fear that there may not be much time left so now i go home every weekend. Im the only one out of my siblings that lives away so i have that self made guilt that Im not there enough

Ah I'm sure they understand. My brother is the same - despite having three children and living a few hours away, he visits at least once a month. That's loads. And your siblings are nearby. Some older folk's children are all gone away - including to far flung lands!

My father is dead, but I only live a few minutes walk from home so I call in most days after work to check on my mother. Take her dog for a walk of she's not up to it or any jobs that need doing etc.

eviltwin

Never by mutual choice.

ILoveYourVibes

eviltwin wrote: »

Never by mutual choice.

im really sorry

RicketyCricket

Not often enough. I've been home to see them only once this year. My parents are amazing, always believed in me no matter what I've tried, never judged, always there for a chat when I've made a ****e of things. I honestly dread the day they're not around to talk to anymore. I'm lucky to have them, some people don't have that. I just wish we had more time to spend together.

I see my dad almost every week and spend one to three nights with him. He is by himself but the visits are as much for me as they are for him. My mam usually I visit for an hour in the nursing home when I'm down but there are weeks when I don't.

I said to a friend of mine last night how, when I was little I used to ask her to promise not to die. Miss her. Still have that childlike place inside where I want both of them to live forever.

corks finest

Both dead- go see yours FFS every day if possible whilst still living

Ken.

Mother- 5-6 times a month.
Father- once a month but would talk on the phone once a week.

Nosnon

Nosnon wrote: »

Mother- 5-6 times a month.
Father- once a month but would talk on the phone once a week.

Oh yes. Even when I'm not home I'm on the phone to daddy *embarrassedface*

One eyed Jack

corks finest wrote: »

Both dead- go see yours FFS every day if possible whilst still living

I would, but the last few times my mam acted like I was the tv inspector and pretended she wasn’t in :pac:

One eyed Jack

One eyed Jack wrote: »

I would, but the last few times my mam acted like I was the tv inspector and pretended she wasn’t in :pac:

I don't know whether to laugh or say sorry!

Ken.

One eyed Jack wrote: »

I would, but the last few times my mam acted like I was the tv inspector and pretended she wasn’t in :pac:

Deleted User wrote: »

I don't know whether to laugh or say sorry!

I was going to go with, me and your mom were busy that day Jack. Ring ahead in future. But that would be unbecoming:p

One eyed Jack

Nosnon wrote: »

I was going to go with, me and your mom were busy that day Jack. Ring ahead in future. But that would be unbecoming:p

Ahh no jaysis lads I didn’t mean that in a bad way, just I suppose I’m used to her being a bit like that, I don’t take it badly, we’d meet up on the odd family occasion like, but we’re just not a close family anyway

theteal

Video call most Sundays. They’re over here probably every 2-3 months, we get over there 3-4 times a year. Thankfully we’re just the next island over, plenty don’t have that luxury

Mrs OBumble

corks finest wrote: »

Both dead- go see yours FFS every day if possible whilst still living

Also both long since dead.


If you like your parents and its feasible then this is lovely advice.

But if they're not nice people, then it's rubbish advice.

Make your own decisions based on your own family situation. Ignore what other people think, especially ones who don't know your situation.

Jellybaby1

I'm going to venture some advice for those who have lovely mams and dads and don't mind visiting them. If you haven't already done it, ask them all the questions now before its too late. I'm especially interested in family history myself, and I have a lot of information but I'm still missing so much stuff from my parents youth I'll never know now as they are both gone. You might think you're not interested, but one day you will be. I'll go now, sorry to intrude! I just think its important.

andekwarhola

Couple of times a week.

Plumbthedepths

I used to call in to my parents almost every day, on my way to work. My brother and his wife ( whom I detest) moved in with my parents 4 years ago .He lost his job couldn't pay his rent so my Mum stepped in. His wife wouldn't work to warm herself. Their presence in my parents home caused endless rows between my folks and I. I felt in their retirement they should enjoy the privacy and peace of their own home. Instead they have two wasters practically owning their home. So not to row with my parents I removed myself, I know I will miss the chats with my parents and banter. I won't miss the rows, they don't need it and I certainly took no pleasure in it. Just venting I don't want a lecture. Thanks.

andekwarhola

Plumbthedepths wrote: »

I used to call in to my parents almost every day, on my way to work. My brother and his wife ( whom I detest) moved in with my parents 4 years ago .He lost his job couldn't pay his rent so my Mum stepped in. His wife wouldn't work to warm herself. Their presence in my parents home caused endless rows between my folks and I. I felt in their retirement they should enjoy the privacy and peace of their own home. Instead they have two wasters practically owning their home. So not to row with my parents I removed myself, I know I will miss the chats with my parents and banter. I won't miss the rows, they don't need it and I certainly took no pleasure in it. Just venting I don't want a lecture. Thanks.

Mean this in the best way but don't punish your parents - or yourself - because they feel that they need to help one of their children. Life is too short to miss time with your mum or dad.

TitianGerm

I see them 5-6 times a week usually.

I live five minutes away and bring the dogs up when I visit two or three of those times a week.

Mam always maintains she hates dogs. They go out and beg off her for twenty or so minutes while she tells them to stop following her around and then she keeps giving them little treats when she thinks I'm not looking and telling them they are good dogs :pac: Then we go for a walk with Dad.

Play golf twice a week with my dad as well. Nice to get out and just spend a few hours together doing something we both enjoy.

Mean Laqueefa

When i lived in the UK it was about every 3-4 months on average.

My mam has since past very young, my wife and i dropped good jobs iwth a 10 month old and moved home within 10 days, alot to sort out !

My sister and husband and 3 kids (Moved back home after mam died), father and brother all live under the same roof and i was lucky enough with there help to get a place less than 2mins walk from them in dublin of all places (Sisters old place)

I see them everyday for hours on end, its heartwarming and the best decision i ever made.

ChikiChiki

Back living at home for now after being away abroad for a few years so see my mum every day. I resented my mam for a long time as she was a bad alcoholic and did/said some hurtful stuff. But I've decided to stay at home for an extended period at least and she seems to be making an effort this time. Im always wary of getting my hopes up. We even did the garden together today.

TerrorFirmer

Usually once a week, if not twice, as they live nearby.

Aarav Thankful Body

Aarav Thankful Body wrote: »

What about yourself?


It doesn't apply to me, as mine are long dead, but tell us your own situation.

In all seriousness, how does it feel to have both parents long dead due to the passage of time? Do you think of them everyday or does the memory fade? I am raising two little boys right now and I sometimes think that one day they'll be two men on their own and I and my wife will be dead. It fills me with sorrow that I will miss so much of their lives.

Also, do you ever think of your grandparents? Do you ever try to tell your grandkids about your parents or grandparents?