What to do with such a housemate??!!

micko1234

Most people are generally cooperative, remember Casper is living in your home, a gentle reminder to them that there is a level of standards in hygiene and contribution that must be met for everyone in the house or they will just have to go. I would speak to him 1 to 1 not 2 on 1 as they may feel awkward and avoid confrontation..

WalterWhite88

micko1234 wrote: »

Most people are generally cooperative, remember Casper is living in your home, a gentle reminder to them that there is a level of standards in hygiene and contribution that must be met for everyone in the house or they will just have to go. I would speak to him 1 to 1 not 2 on 1 as they may feel awkward and avoid confrontation..

Thanks for that advice.. I am planning on doing it tonight. Will do it 1:1, and not my partner there as well.. I didn't think of that, but, you are absolutely right.

WalterWhite88

razorblunt wrote: »

I'm here to make a Casper joke.

But where is the joke though :O

Bigbagofcans

WalterWhite88 wrote: »

But where is the joke though :O

Razorblunt is hovering over the send button.

ILoveYourVibes

WalterWhite88 wrote: »

But where is the joke though :O

Did you see mine Walter? I tried really hard.

WalterWhite88

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

Did you see mine Walter? I tried really hard.

Lol - I watched the video on YT.

Didn't even read the part below it, excorcise him haahahhaha

wakka12

Well for a start, stop giving him food youve cooked

ILoveYourVibes

WalterWhite88 wrote: »

Lol - I watched the video on YT.

Didn't even read the part below it, excorcise him haahahhaha

TheDiceMan2020

It's an awkward one OP and you really have my sympathy here, I think the only solution to avoid embarrassment or awkward silences is to just burn the goddamn house down.

super_furry

You're a babysitter.

My wife and I have to pay our babysitter €10 an hour when we go out. You should give Casper an invoice.

WalterWhite88

super_furry wrote: »

You're a babysitter.

My wife and I have to pay our babysitter €10 an hour when we go out. You should give Casper an invoice.

I know, but I was being nice, as in, why not eat with us and such. Caspar does contribute some money for food, but that's only like to eat what we eat, and agreed that he would for instance buy his own food if he'd wanted something..

But, that still has to happen.

Before Caspar moved in, we discussed how we are, and, that we are not messy people, and he confirmed he was the same, but, I think opinions are different in the way some people perceive being clean etc.

So I guess I can also take that into the conversation.. And start setting some things straight. This has been very helpful, even the jokes

razorblunt

Bigbagofcans wrote: »

Razorblunt is hovering over the send button.

WalterWhite88 wrote: »

But where is the joke though :O

You have to be in the right spirit to get it.

realdanbreen

I think it's time you brought Casper out fishing on the lake, Godfather style!

Boardnashea

WalterWhite88 wrote: »

Lol, that's not really possible though..

You're not the real Walter White, are you?
The real Walter White would know what to do!

micko1234

WalterWhite88 wrote: »

Thanks for that advice.. I am planning on doing it tonight. Will do it 1:1, and not my partner there as well.. I didn't think of that, but, you are absolutely right.

Be sure to keep us updated, I would agree with the others too, as nice as you folk sound looking after Casper, they need to grow up and take responsibility for themselves.

I know a few people like Casper and it doesn't do them any good doing everything for them, when **** hits the fan they are worse off because they have no independence.

Best of luck!

the_syco

WalterWhite88 wrote: »

Before Caspar moved in, we discussed how we are, and, that we are not messy people, and he confirmed he was the same, but, I think opinions are different in the way some people perceive being clean etc.

It sounds like he'll tell you what he thinks you want to hear, but not what the truthful answer is.

Nikki Sixx

It sounds like you and your other half are too nice and Casper is taking advantage. Give him 1 month/2 weeks to leave. Even if you lose him as a “friend,” so what. He isn’t a nice person.

cursai

He seems sound enough to me. Try talking to him. Instead of treating him like he's a ghost or something.

handlemaster

Tell him to move simple. Give an.inch people take a mile is so true.

Alrigghtythen

WalterWhite88 wrote: »

Besides this, we also cook in the house (my partner does) and, he eats with us, we told Caspar that he had to pay an amount, so we would then cook, and he can eat with us, instead of cooking for himself. It's easier for Caspar, and cooking for 1 person extra is not such a big of a deal.

If he is paying for the food what's the issue with him eating it?

I think you are not compatible and tbh you sound a bit like a mother figure. Concerning yourself with his eating, cleaning & showering. It's sounds very suffocating for all involved.

Miike

Alrigghtythen wrote: »

If he is paying for the food what's the issue with him eating it?

I think you are not compatible and tbh you sound a bit like a mother figure. Concerning yourself with his eating, cleaning & showering. It's sounds very suffocating for all involved.

I don't know. Expecting people to wash semi regularly isn't really motherly. I couldn't live with someone like that.

Shocking situation for you OP but I tend to agree with the sentiment that you won't change him. It's worth having a chat with him to air the problems and attempt to spare the friendship but I think he'll revert back to his old ways in no time. You guys shouldn't have set the precedent of ferrying him to work when you guys are off - that's bananas and he should genuinely be embarrassed by it. He isn't pulling his weight at all and is now literally relying on you to feed him and get him to and from work. You somehow ended up in a weird colleague adoption situation!

I hope you don't do his laundry! :pac:

Nikki Sixx

Miike wrote: »

I don't know. Expecting people to wash semi regularly isn't really motherly. I couldn't live with someone like that.

Shocking situation for you OP but I tend to agree with the sentiment that you won't change him. It's worth having a chat with him to air the problems and attempt to spare the friendship but I think he'll revert back to his old ways in no time. You guys shouldn't have set the precedent of ferrying him to work when you guys are off - that's bananas and he should genuinely be embarrassed by it. He isn't pulling his weight at all and is now literally relying on you to feed him and get him to and from work. You somehow ended up in a weird colleague adoption situation!

I hope you don't do his laundry! :pac:

Exactly your days off aren’t days off when you have to drive this guy to your workplace and collect him.

Sardonicat

I get the feeling that Casper has got through life on the kindness of decent people like yourself and your partner. He's an accomplished leech by the sounds of it.

Hand him a cleaning rota and a timetable for when the cooking facilities and washing machine are free. Remind him that a house rule is to bathe daily and tell him he needs to organise alternative transport to and from work on the days you're not going. Those are the conditions of his tenancy and if he doesn't like them he's free to move elsewhere.

WalterWhite88

Sardonicat wrote: »

I get the feeling that Casper has got through life on the kindness of decent people like yourself and your partner. He's an accomplished leech by the sounds of it.

Hand him a cleaning rota and a timetable for when the cooking facilities and washing machine are free. Remind him that a house rule is to bathe daily and tell him he needs to organise alternative transport to and from work on the days you're not going. Those are the conditions of his tenancy and if he doesn't like them he's free to move elsewhere.

Thank you for your reply.

Well, you cannot expect someone to shower him or herself every day, but, there is the decency of brushing your teeth, and making yourself presentable for others.. You work with other people nonetheless..

unfortunately I was home very late yesterday, but, will pick this up with Caspar today after work.. Very much not looking forward to such conversations, but I guess it beats being dishonest. Honesty always over-wins dishonesty...

WalterWhite88

Miike wrote: »

I don't know. Expecting people to wash semi regularly isn't really motherly. I couldn't live with someone like that.

Shocking situation for you OP but I tend to agree with the sentiment that you won't change him. It's worth having a chat with him to air the problems and attempt to spare the friendship but I think he'll revert back to his old ways in no time. You guys shouldn't have set the precedent of ferrying him to work when you guys are off - that's bananas and he should genuinely be embarrassed by it. He isn't pulling his weight at all and is now literally relying on you to feed him and get him to and from work. You somehow ended up in a weird colleague adoption situation!

I hope you don't do his laundry! :pac:

We don't even have children.. And, now we have an adult version of a child. you are right, if there are no strict ground-rules set, it'll get out of hand.

Well, we are trying to help someone, and, that's taken for granted.

I don't expect someone to shower each day, but, you can at least wash yourself, i.e. brush your teeth or something like that. I make it sound that I am checking on someone but I don't. It's just that we drive together, and we live in the same house, you just notice these things.. Even if you don't want to..

And I think I am responsible for myself, as in, making myself presentable, at least, not stinking towards my colleagues, and from my mouth, I think others should do the same.. That's the way I perceive it anyway..

Hopefully someone shares this feeling..

I didn't have time yesterday due to arriving home late from work.. Overtime, but, will definitely bring it up today, very much not looking forward to it, but it has to be done, and I just said it before, I guess honesty over-wins being dis-honest..

WalterWhite88

Alrigghtythen wrote: »

If he is paying for the food what's the issue with him eating it?

I think you are not compatible and tbh you sound a bit like a mother figure. Concerning yourself with his eating, cleaning & showering. It's sounds very suffocating for all involved.

Maybe I explained it wrong, I am definitely not checking up on someone, and, it was not really my idea to start with cooking etc. he offered it, to participate in it.. I don't want to come across as checking up on someone.. You just notice these things, if you live in the same house..

Anyway, I am not someone who tells someone what to do, or anything like that, haven't really done that before, and that's why I was thinking of asking you guys for some feedback, on how you would deal with it, or feel about it.. Hopefully this makes a bit more sense..

WalterWhite88

cursai wrote: »

He seems sound enough to me. Try talking to him. Instead of treating him like he's a ghost or something.

Yes, I guess I will just have to do that. Wanted to do that yesterday, but, then work got in the way..

So it'll be tonight. I guess you just have to make that step, even if you don't like it, honesty is beter than being dishonest.

Wanderer78

'Casper' may need help, he maybe suffering from depression

dubstarr

Wanderer78 wrote: »

'Casper' may need help, he maybe suffering from depression

No hes not.Why do people bandy depression around like a "get out of jail for free" card.

Hes a leech and i bet if you asked the people who he lived with before they would tell you the same.He should come with a warning stamped to his forehead.

Wanderer78

Wanderer78 wrote: »

'Casper' may need help, he maybe suffering from depression

Casper may also be in need of a haircut and a good ride, but none of that is relevant. Despite the nature of the relationship the OP has fostered with Casper, he is not in fact the OP's child, family member or friend. He's a guy the OP knows from work and saw was in need of a place to stay.

A bleeding heart doesn't pay the rent, put food on the table or petrol in the tank. It doesn't clean the bedding, sweep the floor or scrub the toilet.

Depression is a bitch and it can certainly be debilitating, but it's plain stupid to think everyone else should make allowances for you, just because you struggle with it.