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I keep bloody mansplaining

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    #32
    CiDeRmAn
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 34,541 CMod ✭✭✭✭CiDeRmAn


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Have you thought about the possibility you are on the autism spectrum? My wife could have written this post and she was recently diagnosed. She tends to drone on about a particular topic too and hates group social situations. On the other hand she is fantastic at public speaking for the same reason.

    Not that I want to get into it, but that is more than likely the case.
    Social rules are an absolute nightmare, not that you can't learn them, but that it is more of a directed effort on my part to learn them, rather than innately through play.
    Ironic then that my career is in the field of intellectual disability and I have worked supporting people on the spectrum for the past 33 years, before I even became a nurse!
    My son is formally diagnosed, with a lot of his challenges in the social sphere, as well as some dispraxia.
    My training actually came in very handy for doing task analysis and other measures, seeing as OT was pretty useless, all in all.


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    #33
    lainey_d_123
    Registered Users Posts: 2,385 ✭✭✭lainey_d_123


    CiDeRmAn wrote: »
    Not that I want to get into it, but that is more than likely the case.
    Social rules are an absolute nightmare, not that you can't learn them, but that it is more of a directed effort on my part to learn them, rather than innately through play.
    Ironic then that my career is in the field of intellectual disability and I have worked supporting people on the spectrum for the past 33 years, before I even became a nurse!
    My son is formally diagnosed, with a lot of his challenges in the social sphere, as well as some dispraxia.
    My training actually came in very handy for doing task analysis and other measures, seeing as OT was pretty useless, all in all.

    Yes, 'autism' was jumping out at me from the very first post. I'm on the spectrum as well, so totally identify with people getting irritated and you not fully understanding why. I was told all my life I was too quiet and I needed to talk more, so I started talking more, then I was accused of dominating conversations. I felt so angry and bitter that the same people who wouldn't let me be when I was being myself were then being mean and critical when I *did* try to contribute, but unfortunately many neurotypical people just don't get it. They don't get how hurtful it is to criticise when you're trying so, so hard to fit in.

    You don't come across as arrogant or mansplainy, tbh. You seem really self-aware. I've found that people with aspergers or otherwise on the spectrum can come across as patronising when they're really just enthusiastic about a topic and trying to convey that to others. Is this the case?


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    #34
    CiDeRmAn
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 34,541 CMod ✭✭✭✭CiDeRmAn


    I'm usually called on, from all parts, to sort out tech issues in the hospital, despite only really being slightly better at Googling then other people.
    Nevertheless I can appear patronising, but only when I'm actually showing someone the steps to sort their issue out!
    If I just sit in and do it myself no problem, though I figured people would prefer to be able to learn and fix it themselves.
    Seems not!
    It was pointed out by a good friend after I sorted her PC, she said that it could sound a little patronising but she understood that wasn't the intent...

    So confusing!


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