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Interview - Should I tell them I'm going to be a new dad

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  • 04-03-2019 6:07pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 123 ✭✭


    I have an interview with a top tech company who offer 6 months paid parental leave for fathers (as well as mothers).

    They are very progressive in this way and advocate equal employment which is fantastic. There is no eligibility restrictions for tenure or probation.

    I want to join them regardless of this benefit, however in a couple of months I am going to be a new dad.

    My guess is that I won't get this job, because they are not going to give it to someone who is immediately eligible for 6 months off paid.

    However I don't want to keep it secret as that wouldn't be fair on them.

    I'd like to be honest but I fear my honesty would cost me the job offer.


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Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 3,168 ✭✭✭el Fenomeno


    It's very unlikely you'd get 6 months off if you were only in the door a couple of months.

    Most of these perks are for full-time employees who have passed their probation.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,057 ✭✭✭.......


    Eh - you dont get 6 months paternity leave paid by your employer in Ireland.

    You get 2 weeks in the 6 months following the birth and you can claim paternity benefit to cover that as opposed to your employer paying you.

    Edited to add - as a general rule you should never disclose ANYTHING in an interview that could be viewed as one of the 9 grounds for discrimination (in this case family status) to protect you and to protect the potential employer.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,333 ✭✭✭Loveinapril


    ....... wrote: »
    Eh - you dont get 6 months paternity leave paid by your employer in Ireland.

    The company offer it.


    To echo the other poster, there is usually a stipulation that you need to be in an organisation X amount of time before you are entitled to such benefits.


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 20,652 CMod ✭✭✭✭amdublin


    Ummm. What is this company???

    I very much doubt this is what they offer.
    And if they do offer it I'd imagine there are some proviso that you have to be there a certain length of time etc


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,057 ✭✭✭.......


    The company offer it.

    Unlikely they would offer it in the probation period.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 123 ✭✭andybookie


    ....... wrote: »
    Unlikely they would offer it in the probation period.

    I have it stated , it is regardless of tenure. There are no eligibility criteria.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,057 ✭✭✭.......


    andybookie wrote: »
    I have it stated , it is regardless of tenure. There are no eligibility criteria.

    Wow - Ive never ever heard of that - pretty amazing.

    Anyway - never disclose something that could be used to discriminate against you in an interview.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 149 ✭✭GDK_11


    Tough one to say but really it has no affect on your ability to do the job so they don’t need to know. As others have said these are highly unlikely to be available whilst on probation so shouldn’t be an issue.

    For those saying this isn’t available, whilst it’s not normal, A friend of mine has 16 weeks paid from his company.

    Slightly off subject but fair play to these companies that who offer extended leave, 2 weeks is totally inadequate.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    If you were a woman who is pregnant, I would feel you have a moral duty to let them know you are pregnant.

    I understand you do not legally have to do this.

    I would be a hypocrite if I didn't extend this logic to you.

    HOWEVER the fact that you said it's a top tech company let's me know they're absolutely loaded and you going off on paternity leave isn't going to kill them, so if you wanted to keep it quiet, I wouldn't think anything negative towards you.

    My feeling is they will still hire you anyway. These companies cannot get good staff.


  • Registered Users Posts: 123 ✭✭andybookie


    GDK_11 wrote: »
    Tough one to say but really it has no affect on your ability to do the job so they don’t need to know. As others have said these are highly unlikely to be available whilst on probation so shouldn’t be an issue.

    For those saying this isn’t available, whilst it’s not normal, A friend of mine has 16 weeks paid from his company.

    Slightly off subject but fair play to these companies that who offer extended leave, 2 weeks is totally inadequate.

    Actually it is 16 I think.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    Just to add a bit to the "this can't be possible" folk here, I work for a tech company and we have unlimited holidays and unlimited working from home days.

    I once didn't come into the office for three months.

    I didn't come in this January at all.

    Tech companies can be super nice places to work at.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,057 ✭✭✭.......


    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    If you were a woman who is pregnant, I would feel you have a moral duty to let them know you are pregnant.

    Nobody has a moral duty towards a company they work for or hope to work for.

    The relationship is that of worker and employer. You do your job, they pay you.

    Otherwise you are just talking about ways a company can discriminate due to family status. There are very good reasons why we have laws to prevent this from happening.


  • Registered Users Posts: 123 ✭✭andybookie


    It doesn't sit right to me - not to tell them.
    Although conversely, an extending time with a new born is absolutely golden time


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 215 ✭✭Misguided1


    Does the parental leave policy state when the leave will be granted? i.e. immediately after the birth of the child or is it at the companies discretion?

    I'd look into a little further as it seems surprising that a company would give someone with a few weeks service - 6 months unpaid leave without any qualifying criteria? Is there a claw back on salary if you leave with a certain period following your return from parental leave?

    Sounds like a great policy and a very progressive company. The cynic in me says too good to be true. But to answer your question - you've no duty to inform them and they can't discriminate against you if you do.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,057 ✭✭✭.......


    andybookie wrote: »
    It doesn't sit right to me - not to tell them.
    Although conversely, an extending time with a new born is absolutely golden time

    Why did you apply for the job with them?

    16 weeks off is NOTHING in the scheme of things.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    ....... wrote: »
    Nobody has a moral duty towards a company they work for or hope to work for.

    The relationship is that of worker and employer. You do your job, they pay you.

    Otherwise you are just talking about ways a company can discriminate due to family status. There are very good reasons why we have laws to prevent this from happening.

    That's a bit of a cut throat attitude.

    Taking maternity leave after starting in a role can really screw over a mom and pop company.

    I do not hurt people in my life, and that includes hurting company owners, strangers, or those who have hurt me.

    I understand though that a massive tech company changes things a bit.

    I am also not advocating for changing the law to require people to state they are pregnant.

    I'm just looking at it from my own moral perspective.


  • Registered Users Posts: 123 ✭✭andybookie


    ....... wrote: »
    Why did you apply for the job with them?

    16 weeks off is NOTHING in the scheme of things.

    I said in my original post
    "I want to join them regardless of this benefit"
    The timing is just coincidental


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 547 ✭✭✭Duffryman


    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    I work for a tech company and we have unlimited holidays and unlimited working from home days.


    Whatever about the working from home (I used to be able to do that a lot myself in a previous role), please tell us more about the unlimited holidays.....


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    andybookie wrote: »
    I said in my original post
    "I want to join them regardless of this benefit"
    The timing is just coincidental

    I wonder could you say something like this:

    "I would really love to work here. I need to tell you that my wife is pregnant, and I don't want to jeopardise being offered this job by having to take paternity leave in 6 months time. I would be willing to forego such a long paternity leave period as I feel it's too soon and wouldn't be fair on the company."

    My wording is clumsy but you get the idea.

    They'll think you're a nice dude and probably offer you the job and paternity leave anyway.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,947 ✭✭✭kirving


    My view on it would be not to tell them, but in turn don't take the mick when it comes to time off.
    Actually, post above has it right.

    They may have great policies, but in turn you're expected not to abuse them, and to give every day your best.

    It won't do you any good in the long run to be known as the guy who too 6 months off after being there for 2 months.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    Duffryman wrote: »
    Whatever about the working from home (I used to be able to do that a lot myself in a previous role), please tell us more about the unlimited holidays.....

    Literally as long as the work gets done, you can stay on holiday as long as you want.

    As an example, I recently traveled around Russia (and some other places) for about two months. I would check e-mails, and do some conference calls, but that's about it.

    I guess it was 30 minutes of work per day, so I suppose that's technically not a holiday, but I could still do all the normal holiday stuff.


  • Registered Users Posts: 123 ✭✭andybookie


    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    I wonder could you say something like this:

    "I would really love to work here. I need to tell you that my wife is pregnant, and I don't want to jeopardise being offered this job by having to take paternity leave in 6 months time. I would be willing to forego such a long paternity leave period as I feel it's too soon and wouldn't be fair on the company."

    My wording is clumsy but you get the idea.

    They'll think you're a nice dude and probably offer you the job and paternity leave anyway.

    In an ideal world, that would be what I would say.
    My thoughts are if a line manager has the option of this person now or this person in potentially 6 months - there is only one option they are going to take.


  • Registered Users Posts: 123 ✭✭andybookie


    My view on it would be not to tell them, but in turn don't take the mick when it comes to time off.
    Actually, post above has it right.

    They may have great policies, but in turn you're expected not to abuse them, and to give every day your best.

    It won't do you any good in the long run to be known as the guy who too 6 months off after being there for 2 months.

    This is probably what I would do.
    Take 6 weeks off or something.
    Still, there is definitely a split decision on this thread.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    You could not tell them.

    Then in 6 months when they say why didn't you tell us, you can reply saying you weren't sure if you were the dad, so you wanted to wait for the DNA test results when the kid was born before saying anything.

    Kidding.


  • Registered Users Posts: 654 ✭✭✭Gonad


    Get the job and take a few weeks paid off ....


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 201 ✭✭upinsmoke


    Any company I worked for the benefits usually kick in right away except the pension. I'd be straight up with them and say you plan to use annual leave around this time if possible.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,653 ✭✭✭✭Plumbthedepths


    You really want to join this company but not sure if being honest and up front is a good idea? If I worked in HR for this company you wouldn't get past your probation tbh no matter how good you are .


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,239 ✭✭✭nc6000


    I'm sure you could mention during the interview that you're expecting a new arrival soon and that this along with the new job would be a big change etc.

    If the conversation continues on this topic I'm sure you could point out you would likely look for some time off but maybe not as much as a long standing employee as you won't have been long with the company if you do get the job.


  • Registered Users Posts: 32,136 ✭✭✭✭is_that_so


    andybookie wrote: »
    It doesn't sit right to me - not to tell them.
    Although conversely, an extending time with a new born is absolutely golden time
    Start as you mean to go on would be my advice and let them know, through asking the question. Perhaps you could soften it by being understanding about a new male employee not necessarily qualifying. Leave it in their court. If they want you they'll deal with it.
    In any company you would get some time off, which you could probably extend anyway. Congrats on the baby news BTW!


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  • Posts: 14,344 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    It's within your first 12 months of working for them, so if they're unhappy, surely they could just sack you anyway without reason?


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