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Friendship advice
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Is this guy really a friend? There is a distinct difference between banter and abuse. The difference being that with banter you get it, you laugh along with it. The guy sounds like a social bully, one who attempts to mask his verbal abuse with the "it's just banter" excuse. When you call out inappropriate, below the belt, disrespectful comments they typically say "It's just banter". It is, as such, victim blaming i.e. you are the one deemed causing an argument, not them. It's the kind of insidious manipulation a social bully exploits.
I think what this dope was doing was taunting you, provoking you into an argument and it worked. It's interesting the others stayed quiet, he sounds like a head melting, **** stirring attention seeker tbh. I think what happened was perhaps intentional to cause an argument with the view of isolating you from the group i.e. he says something insulting, you react, give as good as you get, he plays victim in the 'clique' and the net result is you are further isolated and estranged.
Whenever you feel like you are getting slagged it's is helpful to probe and not deflect. Ask questions e.g. "What do you mean by that?". When he said "You're not invited to my wedding" instead of brushing it off with a whatever you should have said "Why?", "Did you go to my wedding?" etc. Question, question, question.
Calling them out on any BS helps hold up a mirror to them and it always embarrasses a social bully who must scramble to find coherent explanations and respectful answers to your legitimate questions. If they invoke the 'just banter' line just say "Do I look like I'm laughing?". If they have any peer respect for you then they'll take the hint and if it continues, if you standing up for yourself is not respected then, it's not only an indication for you to cut out one of your toxic friends, it might be an indication to cut off this particular group of friends. The mature, right minded one's you can still meet up with but not within the bigger group as other's mentioned.0 -
Is this guy really a friend? There is a distinct difference between banter and abuse. The difference being that with banter you get it, you laugh along with it. The guy sounds like a social bully, one who attempts to mask his verbal abuse with the "it's just banter" excuse. When you call out inappropriate, below the belt, disrespectful comments they typically say "It's just banter". It is, as such, victim blaming i.e. you are the one deemed causing an argument, not them. It's the kind of insidious manipulation a social bully exploits.
I think what this dope was doing was taunting you, provoking you into an argument and it worked. It's interesting the others stayed quiet, he sounds like a head melting, **** stirring attention seeker tbh. I think what happened was perhaps intentional to cause an argument with the view of isolating you from the group i.e. he says something insulting, you react, give as good as you get, he plays victim in the 'clique' and the net result is you are further isolated and estranged.
Whenever you feel like you are getting slagged it's is helpful to probe and not deflect. Ask questions e.g. "What do you mean by that?". When he said "You're not invited to my wedding" instead of brushing it off with a whatever you should have said "Why?", "Did you go to my wedding?" etc. Question, question, question.
Calling them out on any BS helps hold up a mirror to them and it always embarrasses a social bully who must scramble to find coherent explanations and respectful answers to your legitimate questions. If they invoke the 'just banter' line just say "Do I look like I'm laughing?". If they have any peer respect for you then they'll take the hint and if it continues, if you standing up for yourself is not respected then, it's not only an indication for you to cut out one of your toxic friends, it might be an indication to cut off this particular group of friends. The mature, right minded one's you can still meet up with but not within the bigger group as other's mentioned.
Is this guy really a friend?
Yes, i thought so anyway, i wouldn't be as close to him as some of the others but he is influential in the group and lives at home so sees the lads more often than i do. There's a lot of s**t talk on the whats app group with lots of in jokes, i haven't got a clue what they're talking about half the time. It can be exhausting.
If he wanted to isolate me from the group well, he was very successful. I'm now on the brink of loosing a whole group of friends in one go that i've been part of for nearly 20 years. I know i can meet the decent lads individually but its not the same.
It kills me but i think you're right, as hard as it is, its time to delete myself from the whats app group and move on.0 -
OP take your time with it all, you dont have to act ASAP with the group when all this sinks in you will make the best decision for you.
It sounds like you have gone off and become quite successful and grown a lot, if this main guy knows that and then he might have always wanted to be someone like you with the confidence to leave where your from and make a new life.
People hate you for 1 of 3 reasons.
1.) They hate themselves
2.) They want to be you
3.) They see you as a threat
If his identity is all about who he was as a kid then hes holding on tightly to that and feels threatened by you and others like you. This can help with maybe how directly personal he is making it toward you, he would treat anyone like that who he was threatened by.
There can be a deep sense of loss when you have to step away from where these friendships are at now and the buzz of a group, but what the evidence now shows is that it changed a long time ago and you have matured enough to see it. BY addressing this you are closing some doors to make way for an even better outcome. Without realising it you have dealt with the problem, the outcome will take care of itself, if that helps any with how big it all seems right now.0 -
corklily05 wrote: »I suppose not everyone who's advising me can be wrong about this, yes the 2 lads are decent. Another guy in the group, his father passed away recently and i couldn't bring myself to travel down and attend the funeral.
I'm also doing a masters and working full time so i didnt really need this on my plate
I agree with the advice given. If it was me I'd say good to luck to this fella, let him on his way. Dont go to his poxy stags & wedding. Block yourself out of that "whatsaps" group. Stay in contact individually with the ones whom you are closest to.
Is the lad whos father passed away and you didnt bother going to the funeral still cool with you?
Sounds to me like you've definitely moved on from this group if you make excuses like "having a full time job" and "not needing it on your plate" to not go to one of their dads funerals.0 -
oil painting wrote: »OP take your time with it all, you dont have to act ASAP with the group when all this sinks in you will make the best decision for you.
It sounds like you have gone off and become quite successful and grown a lot, if this main guy knows that and then he might have always wanted to be someone like you with the confidence to leave where your from and make a new life.
People hate you for 1 of 3 reasons.
1.) They hate themselves
2.) They want to be you
3.) They see you as a threat
If his identity is all about who he was as a kid then hes holding on tightly to that and feels threatened by you and others like you. This can help with maybe how directly personal he is making it toward you, he would treat anyone like that who he was threatened by.
There can be a deep sense of loss when you have to step away from where these friendships are at now and the buzz of a group, but what the evidence now shows is that it changed a long time ago and you have matured enough to see it. BY addressing this you are closing some doors to make way for an even better outcome. Without realising it you have dealt with the problem, the outcome will take care of itself, if that helps any with how big it all seems right now.
I've probably matured into a person they don't really recognise anymore and still think i'm the same person i was a few years ago. I feel sometimes people cant understand that i've changed a lot, and out of all the people in the group, i've changed the most.
I understand what you say about being a threat but how exactly would you be a threat if you're not around most of the time?0 -
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Satta Massagana wrote: »I agree with the advice given. If it was me I'd say good to luck to this fella, let him on his way. Dont go to his poxy stags & wedding. Block yourself out of that "whatsaps" group. Stay in contact individually with the ones whom you are closest to.
Is the lad whos father passed away and you didnt bother going to the funeral still cool with you?
Sounds to me like you've definitely moved on from this group if you make excuses like "having a full time job" and "not needing it on your plate" to not go to one of their dads funerals.
I agree that maybe i have. Yes, i was talking to him and told him i had a deadline to make (which was true) and he was ok with it. I felt bad for not being there but i wasn't in the mood for small talk.
All i can say that the politics of the group is crazy! So much so, people use it to feel important and to acknowledge what you said about being done with them, yes, i believe i am. Its for my own mental health and well being that i'm done with them aswell.
There's also, a big bunch of girls aswell which complicates things even more and adds to the politics. When i think actually as i type this, i was screwed over for my wedding. My wife to be pointed this out to me and of course i brushed it off.
My wedding was booked for such a date long before anybody else in the group. Next thing all of a sudden, 1 guy books a wedding 2 weeks before mine and then another girl books hers 2 weeks after mine.
Now, this part may be my own fault as it wasn't on the invitation, but none of the lads showed up to the night after, even though they went to the night after of the other 2 (it was on theirs). Am i overthinking this? Was booking the wedding around mine and therefore 'sandwiching' mine in between the other 2 a lack of respect?
Should i of walked away ages ago and this incident was the straw that broke the camels back?0 -
corklily05 wrote: »Should i of walked away ages ago and this incident was the straw that broke the camels back?
Not being smart but what difference does it make to ask that question? Point is you didn't walk away at the time. You've decided to do so now. There's no point in mulling over what you put up with in the past, it makes you bitter you're just raking over the coals.0 -
Not being smart but what difference does it make to ask that question? Point is you didn't walk away at the time. You've decided to do so now. There's no point in mulling over what you put up with in the past, it makes you bitter you're just raking over the coals.
I feel a little stupid and taken advantage of. But, i get the point0 -
corklily05 wrote: »I agree that maybe i have. Yes, i was talking to him and told him i had a deadline to make (which was true) and he was ok with it. I felt bad for not being there but i wasn't in the mood for small talk.
All i can say that the politics of the group is crazy! So much so, people use it to feel important and to acknowledge what you said about being done with them, yes, i believe i am. Its for my own mental health and well being that i'm done with them aswell.
There's also, a big bunch of girls aswell which complicates things even more and adds to the politics. When i think actually as i type this, i was screwed over for my wedding. My wife to be pointed this out to me and of course i brushed it off.
My wedding was booked for such a date long before anybody else in the group. Next thing all of a sudden, 1 guy books a wedding 2 weeks before mine and then another girl books hers 2 weeks after mine.
Now, this part may be my own fault as it wasn't on the invitation, but none of the lads showed up to the night after, even though they went to the night after of the other 2 (it was on theirs). Am i overthinking this? Was booking the wedding around mine and therefore 'sandwiching' mine in between the other 2 a lack of respect?
Should i of walked away ages ago and this incident was the straw that broke the camels back?
I would trust your wife's instinct on this, sometimes when your in a situation it's hard to see the bigger picture.
Also you come across as a decent & genuine guy & because your not like them your looking through a different filter.
As to whether you should have walked away before is not important now, it's probably better because they've had enough chances so you know your doing what's best for you.0 -
corklily05 wrote: »I've probably matured into a person they don't really recognise anymore and still think i'm the same person i was a few years ago. I feel sometimes people cant understand that i've changed a lot, and out of all the people in the group, i've changed the most.
I understand what you say about being a threat but how exactly would you be a threat if you're not around most of the time?
because you just said your the one who changed the most, and your the one he targeted the other night regarding his wedding. Like as if he wanted to put you in your place or make you feel your getting too big for your boots.
It seems there is a large extended group there but even if people are bitchy behind your back they can still respect you for how you choose to live your life, and you do get more comfortable as time goes on to not give a sh1t, also you pave the way for others to choose the same because you can bet that within such a big group you wont be the first or last to step back from it, others will have partners too and be feeling the same as time goes on.
Have you decided what your gona do next?
If a lot of your friends are getting married and are that age then it is really the time when you find out who your real friends are. Quality of quantity like.0 -
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corklily05 wrote: »I've probably matured into a person they don't really recognise anymore and still think i'm the same person i was a few years ago. I feel sometimes people cant understand that i've changed a lot, and out of all the people in the group, i've changed the most.
I understand what you say about being a threat but how exactly would you be a threat if you're not around most of the time?
You can be a threat for attention. You mentioned that this guy seems to be a major influence of the clique within the bigger group. There can be a sort of crab mentality at play here as you are not around all the time. You are away much of the time and when you come back into the group dynamic having been away for a period of time, who will people be interested in? Who will they pay attention to, asking questions out of sheer curiosity? You naturally. You haven't been around, you've been away, you've got stories to tell etc.
You can be a target merely for being yourself and going about your business. For small minded, turf protectors like that guy it can be seen as a threat whereas you can be understandably blind to that group dynamic shifting in your favor. A social bully will look to clip your wings, protect their turf so to speak. The process of isolating you seems to be underway. Since you are considering ditching the group then that plan has succeeded.
You also mentioned that they make references and jokes in the whatsapp which go over your head. Look up 'dog whistling' as they could have been making in-jokes between themselves at your oblivious expense. A cowardly, pathetic practice but it's pretty common.0 -
To be honest I think there's a guy like that in a lot of social groups. Doesn't quite know when things go from friendly banter to something that might be hurtful. There's someone like that in my social circle. He didn't like being called out and got into a snit over it, "can you not take a joke sure I was only having a bit of craic". The dust settled on it over time, he has been a good friend down through the years and these misunderstandings once in a while were not worth losing his friendship over.
Is this guy in anyway a friend to you? Would you miss him? you haven't mentioned anything positive about him in your posts?0 -
corklily05 wrote: »Is this guy really a friend?
Yes, i thought so anyway, i wouldn't be as close to him as some of the others but he is influential in the group and lives at home so sees the lads more often than i do. There's a lot of s**t talk on the whats app group with lots of in jokes, i haven't got a clue what they're talking about half the time. It can be exhausting.
If he wanted to isolate me from the group well, he was very successful. I'm now on the brink of loosing a whole group of friends in one go that i've been part of for nearly 20 years.I know i can meet the decent lads individually but its not the same.
It kills me but i think you're right, as hard as it is, its time to delete myself from the whats app group and move on.
There seems to be a lot of negatives overall, in relation to the group. Just look back at the two pieces I have bolded there. Is it a big loss? I'm not saying yay or nay, just saying step back a bit and evaluate things.
Take your time. You have other pressures, other stuff going on. Back away a bit from the drama that this person seems to be creating. Don't rush to break contact...because of one person. Put yourself back in charge here.
Chances are that others in the group will start to see through him. They may be the next target. Keep in touch with the decent guys.
Mind yourself.0 -
Maybe you're sad about losing the idea of this group of friends, rather than what it has turned into? I get the impression that a lot of this is being driven by sentimentality and it's blind-siding you. In reality, most people drift away from their old school friends once they grow up and move away. What kept a group of friends together during their teenage years is unlikely to be the glue that maintains their friendship as they move into their 20s and 30s. In other words, it's unrealistic that this larger group of friends are all genuinely good buddies. It probably is going to fragment over time, with you just being the first.
You've mentioned the politics of it a few times. Maybe that is as good a reason as any to step away from some of these people? Friends are supposed to be people whose company you enjoy and who like you back. There shouldn't be people being made mugs of or the politics that seem to be underlying Whatsapp groups and the likes. Most adults don't have oodles of friends so maybe it's time for you to do a quality vs quantity re-evaluation of your relationships with your old friends. Would it not be better to just stay in contact with the ones who are genuine, rather than grappling with the ones who are frenemies?0 -
Thanks for all the messages of support guys!
Just an update on this, i left the whats app group and messages of support have been coming in straight away.Not just, 'you ok?' messages but really meaningful messages. I think they get the idea that something was wrong and have expressed real concern. I replied to those who text outlining whats wrong and they have been more than supportive to be fair.
I have not asked to be put back on to the whats app group so i'm still keeping an arms length for the meantime. I've been taken back a little in the last day or 2 so i'm waiting to see what transpires in the weeks to come.
I'm not going running back to anyone but they have surpassed my expectation. Thing is, i don't know if its smoke and mirrors or that they've realised one guy in particular pushed it to far0 -
corklily05 wrote: »I'm not going running back to anyone but they have surpassed my expectation. Thing is, i don't know if its smoke and mirrors or that they've realised one guy in particular pushed it to far
I'd take them at face value. If they didn't care, you wouldn't be getting those messages.0 -
Just want to update people on this matter, the guy who i had the disagreement with at christmas text yesterday to ask for my address. I told him that unfortunately due to exams i wasn't able to attend the wedding, just being polite i wished him the best. I got a long text off him his evening saying that he hopes our disagreement at christmas didn't have a bearing on me attending his wedding, he also admitted things got out of hand and by the looks of things he's showing a little regret.
Thing is, i don't think i can ever look at this guy the same way and i can't help thinking that this text is some kneejerk reaction to my inability to attend his wedding.
Any thoughts?0 -
go with your gut OP.
I wouldn't want to be friends with someone like that.
and I wouldn't feel a tiny bit bad for not attending the wedding either.
You don't owe him anything0 -
I've re-read this thread and come away from it feeling a bit baffled. What exactly are you looking for from this guy? Or indeed, from this group? All we can go on is what you've told us here and quite honestly, I can't figure out whether you're being over-sensitive or if there is something else going on here. None of us was there at Christmas so it's impossible to read into what happened that night. Are you sure that it wasn't simply a drunk guy thinking his laddish banter was "hilarious" and accidentally going too far? When someone's struggling with their mental health, as you are, things can get blown out of proportion. That comment about not being able to bring yourself to go to your friend's father's funeral is striking.
That bit about them "sandwiching" your wedding date between theirs can be read in different ways but you're choosing to see the most negative one. It could've been perfectly innocent - you hadn't actually told them when the wedding was taking place. Where did you get married - was it local or would they have had travel to it? 2-3 weddings on the bounce is a real drain on most people's bank balances. And seeing as you've moved away, you are somewhat on the periphery of things now.
Anyway, going back on point. As things stand, things are civil between you and this guy. You've given him a legitimate reason why you can't attend his wedding and wished him well. He has apologised. Why he apologised in that text is anyone's guess. You don't seem to believe it's genuine though. You've got to understand here that none of us knows you, this guy, what happened that night or indeed the dynamics of this group of friends. If him being in your life is making you miserable, then now is the perfect time to downgrade him to being an acquaintance. Someone you'll pass the time with when you're socialising but won't be hanging out with. It's up to you to figure out where you stand and what it is you want. Forget all that "I've been friends with them for 20 years" stuff. People change a lot in 20 years and sometimes it's better to let some of them drift from your life. If the politics and sh*t stirring are contributing to your unhappiness, why would you want to be friends with all of these people? You're not 15 any more.0 -
Regardless of what he says, or how he feels or anything else about him... You get to choose whether or not you accept the invitation to his wedding. You don't have to go. It's only a (very expensive) day out. There will be others who cannot attend for various reasons.
You do what feels right for you. If right now, you don't want to be in his company, or don't want to drop your guard around him that's fine. But if you feel like at some point you want to give the friendship another chance, that's also fine. If you have never had an issue with others in the group, then you shouldn't have any issue with them now.
Take time away from the other fella. Don't react or respond negatively to his messages. Keeping a dignified response will always be best. And it also leaves him in the awkward position of you actually having done nothing wrong, and him looking like an idiot for manufacturing a row!
Go with however you feel. No harm skipping the wedding. Yer man doesn't sound like someone I'd be happy handing a generous gift over to just for the pleasure of being in his company for a day.0 -
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corklily05 wrote: »Just want to update people on this matter, the guy who i had the disagreement with at christmas text yesterday to ask for my address. I told him that unfortunately due to exams i wasn't able to attend the wedding, just being polite i wished him the best. I got a long text off him his evening saying that he hopes our disagreement at christmas didn't have a bearing on me attending his wedding, he also admitted things got out of hand and by the looks of things he's showing a little regret.
Thing is, i don't think i can ever look at this guy the same way and i can't help thinking that this text is some kneejerk reaction to my inability to attend his wedding.
Any thoughts?
Honestly unless he actually tore strips off you at Christmas, it sounds like you’re overreacting.
He admitted he was in the wrong, expressed regret and invited you to his wedding.
What more do you want from him?
If you can’t stay friends with him that’s your choice, I’d suggest a polite text back so that you can still see your mutual friends together without it being awkward.0 -
corklily05 wrote: »I got a long text off him his evening saying that he hopes our disagreement at christmas didn't have a bearing on me attending his wedding, he also admitted things got out of hand and by the looks of things he's showing a little regret.
Thing is, i don't think i can ever look at this guy the same way and i can't help thinking that this text is some kneejerk reaction to my inability to attend his wedding.
No I think at this stage you are being childish, to be honest. Sorry but that's what I think.
He's apologised, outlined why he's apologising and admitted where he was wrong. You don't have to attend the wedding (don't blame you either way, I hate them) and it's up to you who you are friends with. But you are still dismissing it as a "knee-jerk" reaction to not attending the wedding. I'll outline why I think that is childish:
- You had a row/disagreement with this lad where you felt he went too far with slagging. Which is fair enough. At this point, you could have sorted it out by saying it out straight to him. Instead:
- you deleted yourself from the whatsapp group without an explanation
- when those other lads messaged asking were you okay, you told everyone but him why you were angry, and wondered why he wasn't contacting you when they clearly would have told them what you had said. So you were hoping they would relay your feelings to him and he would approach you to apologise.
- then last week you went and deleted yourself from the group again and all these lads started messaging you being really supportive and asking if you were okay.
- the guy you are angry with asks you for your address and you say you're not going to the wedding.
Of course it's a reaction to having the wedding invite declined. He's realised "oh sh*t, he really is that angry after all" and has put out an olive branch even though you would not approach him. He could have just said "well F off then". He didn't. He sounds like a decent enough person and is sorry he hurt you.
All this deleting yourself from whatsapp groups without explanation so that people have to ask if you are alright is naked attention seeking. Sorry, maybe you don't realise it, but that's what it is. And you won't approach the one person you are angry with, and are instead involving everyone else in your issue by being silent. Maybe it's just me but I don't see what there is to be supportive of? I have had rows with friends before, have fallen out with friends, I never involved anyone else, because it had nothing to do with them. You are being very childish about this.
You either want to be friends with these people or you don't. There is no in between. Either you end your association with these lads entirely and cut loose, or you accept this lad's apology to save face and maintain a friendship with the guys in the group that you do like, and maybe keep your distance from this one.
You're going to come off looking worse out of this if you keep this passive-aggressive stuff up. Give it over and decide whether you want these friends or not. They are only going to stick around for so long before they no longer want any part in your tiff, and then it will no longer be your choice, they'll have made it for you.0 -
corklily05 wrote: »He also admitted things got out of hand and by the looks of things he's showing a little regret.
Jesus this is just getting way OTT on your part mate.
Fair play to you for standing up for yourself. Sounds like doing that was new for you. Youve made your point.
But, people make mistakes. He even owned up to it. Yet, youre still letting it all niggle you. It sounds very controlling on your part. And you are not the forgiving type it seems. That's even more dangerous than someone being an arse.0 -
Sorry to say this, but he apologised and you refuse to let it go. Seems you don't like the man and want any issue to have drama. As for the weddings, a lot people just stay the one night, I know i do for the vast majority.0
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A lot of people saying here that its drama i'm looking for ad i'm taking it to far. Fair enough, that's why i asked for your opinion. I am not in anyway an attention seeker and i absolutely hate drama. I've my mind made up and i text him already, i'm not going to bother attending his stag or his wedding. Why should i? I'll turn up with a gift to hand over to him when i don't really like him? Not a chance!
As for the other lads, i have no issue with them and i look forward to meeting them, i'm not going to tar them all with the one brush but at my age i'm not going to associate myself with somebody who makes me feel like sh!t in front of my friends. There has to be a reason why he picked me out of a group of 15 people sitting around a table. I know for a fact there's people in the group that he wouldn't do this to ever.
He did this to feel good about himself at my expense, i told him not to bother sending me an invitation, there is a possibility through other friends that i'll be talking to this guy again but i'm keeping him at arms length for now. I'm probably not expressing myself properly on this and i'll struggle to make the wedding anyway because of exams.0 -
When you do run into him again in the group, I'd keep a cool head. You've told him why you can't go. That's that. It's your decision. If he tries to bring up what happened at Christmas then ask "Oh yeah, what the **** was that about anyway?" It's unfair to claim this is attention seeking/dramatics.
You didn't start the slagging. Your friend made a foray into giving you abuse, openly stating that you weren't invited to his wedding and it has backfired on him with you staying clear and his rep in the group taking a hit. He started it and to go forward you will need to speak to him about that. Had he not done what he did to instigate this, you may well have been going to the stag as a compromise but not the wedding due to exams.
Can you not meet alone for a drink to talk it out? He took the time to contact and give an explanation, he might wish to reconcile or apologise. You sense some regret from him. He might be appalled at his behavior. Maybe look to arrange that and get to the bottom of things? You either succeed in stopping further slagging or you may well have another flare up and fall out but you'll at least have some closure, know you were upfront and direct and your buddy is either a perma-prick or someone who has respect for you going forward.0 -
corklily05 wrote: »I am not in anyway an attention seeker and i absolutely hate drama.
Then stop deleting yourself from whatsapp groups without explanation and expecting the other lads to ask you what's wrong. That is dramatic and attention-seeking, whether you realise you're doing it or not.
You're deleting yourself from the groups, knowing that those lads will think "what's up with Corklily??" and will contact you asking what the story is. You made it clear you were hoping they would relay your feelings to him, you were confused as to why he didn't approach you, even though you hadn't contacted him yourself. I guarantee he copped that this is what you were doing, so he didn't rise to it. That's why you never heard from him til now.
That's exactly what you were doing, you've done it twice now like. I'm not saying this to have a go at you, I'm saying it for your own good because people will get tired of that kind of carry on quite quickly and it's not a good habit to make.
I don't think you should be friends with this guy anyway, or go to his wedding, but you are making this waaayyyyy more complicated than it should be. All you had to do in the first place was make your excuses and scale back your contact with him.
Either way I wish you luck, sincerely. This needn't have been this complicated and you could save yourself a lot of hassle in future by being more straightforward.0 -
OK, i took all messages on board and spoke to a person on the phone who'll be impartial on this. I also forwarded him on the text. He encouraged me to text him back outlining what happened at christmas p!ssed me off but its workload that prevents me from attending his stag. I made it clear that it wasn't totally him but the incident was the straw that broke the camels back.
I told him that i felt i was the butt of the joke and i just needed some time away. I got it off my chest now, i want to be clear that i did not delete myself off the whats app group for attention, i needed a break from the sh!te talk that goes on and i wanted to make it clear that i will not go crawling back for more from anybody.0
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