If a man wants a woman......

cannotlogin

Sweeping generalisation or some truth in the fact that if a man wants a woman he'll chase her or let her know and if he doesn't he's just not interested?

This evening's conversation with some friends with the above nearly accepted as 100% accurate.

So what you think?

I know all men are different but in general what do you think.

Ariadne

Hmm, I don't know. It depends on the person really. I'm sure most men would do the chasing or make it quite obvious but others may be shy and not let on.

HalloweenJack

One man's romantic is one woman's harassment.

Twenty Grand

Wouldn't totally agree.

Sometimes you chase each other and other times there's no chasing at all.

Guffy

#metoo

Johnnyhpipe

HalloweenJack wrote: »

One man's romantic is one woman's harassment.

If he’s good looking its romantic. If he’s ugly its harassment.

Purple Mountain

Agree 100%.
That was the best piece of insight I ever got from a man (I'm a woman). He said if a guy really likes a girl he will make it his business to go get her.
I remember one time I met a guy (not guy above) in a bar through a mutual friend and instantly there was this amazing chemistry. We were chatting all night and I really found myself hooked. He wasn't a regular to this bar, I was.
For some reason and maybe alcohol too, at the end of the night I gave him my bracelet (this was around the start or maybe before mobile phone days so I suppose the bracelet was equivalent to a phone number!) and said to him if he wanted to see me again then he'd have to come back to that bar with my bracelet. And he did!
I just knew we'd see each other again and he'd come after me because of the chemistry that night.
I messed up our brief relationship over something trivial and before I could look for a second chance his ex had swept him back up

sligojoek

Purple Mountain wrote: »

Agree 100%.
That was the best piece of insight I ever got from a man (I'm a woman). He said if a guy really likes a girl he will make it his business to go get her.
I remember one time I met a guy (not guy above) in a bar through a mutual friend and instantly there was this amazing chemistry. We were chatting all night and I really found myself hooked. He wasn't a regular to this bar, I was.
For some reason and maybe alcohol too, at the end of the night I gave him my bracelet (this was around the start or maybe before mobile phone days so I suppose the bracelet was equivalent to a phone number!) and said to him if he wanted to see me again then he'd have to come back to that bar with my bracelet. And he did!
I just knew we'd see each other again and he'd come after me because of the chemistry that night.
I messed up our brief relationship over something trivial and before I could look for a second chance his ex had swept him back up

Had she a bigger bracelet than you?

s7ryf3925pivug

I had women tell me they liked how forthright I am. Therefore they must have encountered other men who were not direct, so it would not be accurate to say men are always direct and frank.

[It was more a lack of subtlety but I was happy to take it.]

I think it's best to take things at face value. However if a woman is interested in someone and it is appropriate to do so, then the best thing to do is to communicate that to them. Passively waiting to see if they show interest in them is less likely to be successful.

biko

Don't trust a man will make the first move.

Men can be shy, and are also fairly stupid..

Arghus

Sweeping generalisation.

ginandtonicsky

Not in my experience. Have had a good few situations where I found out years later that a male mate or colleague was into me years earlier. Either by them telling me directly “ah yeah I used to fancy you rotten back when we were in college” or by other means.

Dated a work acquaintance briefly who told me he’d go out of his way not to look at me / spend too much time talking to me because he was so shy and didn’t want to seem inappropriate. I thought he had no time for me at all!

Last major ex was pretty direct though, he was hook line and sinker from the get go. You’d need to be to get anywhere with me these days as I’m the opposite of direct myself most of the time

Richard Hillman

I absolutely hate the Chase. So if it's not absolutely 100% obvious, I'm not playing ball. I was a great success in the "my mate likes you" era.

RacoonQueen

Johnnyhpipe wrote: »

If he’s good looking its romantic. If he’s ugly its harassment.

No such thing as ugly. One woman's 'ugly' is another woman's brutally handsome.

Anyway, don't think men will always chase when they're interested. Especially Irish men who I find to be a lot less forward when it comes down to it, but it is more a question for men to answer. Just because one man says that they'll always chase that applies to him only really.
Rare to meet a man I'm interested in so I will generally try to be pretty forward and let him know, leave the ball in his court then whilst trying not to be too pushy if I think he is also interested but too shy.

ThunbergsAreGo

Hopefully this outdated notion that it's the job of to men chase and pay the bill will be pushed aside in this era of equality

Zorya

Meh, I don't know. Lads can be as shy as women. Sometimes a lady has to get the party started.
I asked my husband to marry me, for example.

hehe

Tefral

I think the way things are gone most fellas wouldnt do anything forward anymore not least without really considering it, at which time the moment might be gone.

ChikiChiki

RacoonQueen wrote: »

No such thing as ugly. One woman's 'ugly' is another woman's brutally handsome.

Anyway, don't think men will always chase when they're interested. Especially Irish men who I find to be a lot less forward when it comes down to it, but it is more a question for men to answer. Just because one man says that they'll always chase that applies to him only really.
Rare to meet a man I'm interested in so I will generally try to be pretty forward and let him know, leave the ball in his court then whilst trying not to be too pushy if I think he is also interested but too shy.

I think a lot of men's hesitation in approaching comes from Irish women in groups can be a nightmare to converse with and they can be quick to cut down. I've noticed sexes from foreign cultures tend to mix much more.

sbsquarepants

biko wrote: »

Don't trust a man will make the first move.

Men can be shy, and are also fairly stupid..

Arghus wrote: »

Sweeping generalisation.

I am somewhat of an expert on men (by that I mean I have a willy) and confirm that bikos statement is in fact true, particularly the second part.

In fact I'd go so far as to say that a lot of times, we aren't even all that shy - just too stupid to know how to proceed!

Ladies - take it from me - we hardly ever say no, so make the damn move yourselves and life would be so much easier:D

theteal

Although ruggedly handsome in an obvious sort of way :cool::D, I must admit to being prone to a spot of shyness at times - mostly all the time, so I definitely don't agree OP. I definitely only "made a move" when I knew the lady was interested, which thanks to the aforementioned handsomeness and also my modest nature, they were 99% of the time.

Plopsu

Purple Mountain wrote: »

Agree 100%.
That was the best piece of insight I ever got from a man (I'm a woman). He said if a guy really likes a girl he will make it his business to go get her.
I remember one time I met a guy (not guy above) in a bar through a mutual friend and instantly there was this amazing chemistry. We were chatting all night and I really found myself hooked. He wasn't a regular to this bar, I was.
For some reason and maybe alcohol too, at the end of the night I gave him my bracelet (this was around the start or maybe before mobile phone days so I suppose the bracelet was equivalent to a phone number!) and said to him if he wanted to see me again then he'd have to come back to that bar with my bracelet. And he did!
I just knew we'd see each other again and he'd come after me because of the chemistry that night.
I messed up our brief relationship over something trivial and before I could look for a second chance his ex had swept him back up

That sounds like you were doing the chasing there.

sbsquarepants

I have to say I've never really understood the whole mostly male "thrill of the chase" mentality and the mostly female equivalent "playing hard to get".

I was usually happy enough to chance my arm if I fancied someone (couple of instances of stage fright where I just couldn't get my nerve up, must have been sober or something:D) but I absolutely lacked persistence, first sniff of disinterest and I was gone in search of more hospitable pastures.

Maybe some people get some sort of buzz from it, but as far as I'm concerned if you play hard to get, you just don't get got - life's just too short to be dealing with that game playing shít no matter how hot they are.

Zorya

sbsquarepants wrote: »

I have to say I've never really understood the whole mostly male "thrill of the chase" mentality and the mostly female equivalent "playing hard to get".

I was usually happy enough to chance my arm if I fancied someone (couple of instances of stage fright where I just couldn't get my nerve up, must have been sober or something:D) but I absolutely lacked persistence, first sniff of disinterest and I was gone in search of more hospitable pastures.

Maybe some people get some sort of buzz from it, but as far as I'm concerned if you play hard to get, you just don't get got - life's just too short to be dealing with that game playing shít no matter how hot they are.

Yep, life is too short. Ye could miss out on the prince and end up with the frogs. Grab the good ones when you recognise them and hang on.

Cina

Richard Hillman wrote: »

I absolutely hate the Chase. So if it's not absolutely 100% obvious, I'm not playing ball. I was a great success in the "my mate likes you" era.

What? How can you not like Bradley Walsh you heathen!

Ariadne

I've never been able to play hard to get in my life. If I want something then I want it and I'm going to go after it. I've never felt the need to wait around dropping subtle hints, and I've found that men are often delighted to be complimented or to have the woman make the first move. I guess it doesn't happen to them as much. It's funny because men sometimes think I'm very confident and I must be the least confident person in the world. You know what I'm confident in? Knowing that men like to get the ride

RacoonQueen

ChikiChiki wrote: »

I think a lot of men's hesitation in approaching comes from Irish women in groups can be a nightmare to converse with and they can be quick to cut down. I've noticed sexes from foreign cultures tend to mix much more.

I'd be more or a one to one kinda girl, the rare occasions I am out drinking I have zero interest in talking to anyone not in my group given it is so rare to see my friends, so in the highly unlikely even a man approached me in that scenario I don't think I'd be interested.
If I'm interested in someone if would be someone I kinda know so I'd be pretty up front about either telling him I have the hots for him or asking him to hang out / do something specifically just me and him. I figure if he is interested he would jump at the chance to do any activity together...though I'm told that could perhaps be too subtle and if he is interested he could be hesitant because he thinks he is being friend zoned :pac:

Purple Mountain

sligojoek wrote: »

Had she a bigger bracelet than you?

No a shared past that called him back

coffee_cake

Richard Hillman wrote: »

I absolutely hate the Chase.

Hey, it's a fun show

orourkeda1977

cannotlogin wrote: »

Sweeping generalisation or some truth in the fact that if a man wants a woman he'll chase her or let her know and if he doesn't he's just not interested?

This evening's conversation with some friends with the above nearly accepted as 100% accurate.

So what you think?

I know all men are different but in general what do you think.

It's not always that straight forward.

I was crazy about a girl I used to work with. It took me months to work up the courage to ask her out and she crushed my balls in about 3 seconds flat. In the metaphorical sense of course.

buried

I find when I do the chasing at the start, all this chasing puts the ladies off and they not long to finish it
Without fail 5 - 6 months after the same women are back looking for me to start the chase again
Must be a lot of dopey Wiley Coyote types out there because all these road runner women seem to think this sort of $hite will work.

Feisar

I've hung up my boots and declaired my innings however back in the day I'd be fairly upfront as regards my intentions.